Congratulations to the winners!

There will be three placement winners and two honorable mentions, so five overall winners.

If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know, though I am not tolerating disrespect or hate.

Please read your review all the way through before asking questions since I sometimes take a while to explain, so your question may be answered by the time I finish up the review.

This is the final category, which means this contest is now completed.

I will have a closing remarks chapter to finish the contest off and make concluding comments, but for now, let's celebrate the final batch of winners!

3rd Place

A Shiny Future by Jahools

Review:

To begin, I think the concept behind the characters is hooking. Mirae and her social anxiety is handled realistically and does a good job engaging the audience. In general, your characters tend to capture their themes perfectly, with the social anxiety and general social struggles here being interesting to unpack and also realistic, often with many layers that never make it straightforward. When complex issues are handled with that respect, it makes it a lot more interesting to read, so I think the overall character direction here is great.

Another thing I enjoyed was how Mirae actually communicated and stood her ground in front of BTS. BTS' concern was understandable, and I like how they each have their own personalities that are clear (and is reflected in how they treat Mirae), though they were very clearly overstepping in a way that can get readers angry at them for not letting Mirae live her life. So I liked Mirae in general but especially liked how she took the step to stand up for herself, which makes sense considering they're her close friends, but it still wasn't easy for her, and it got her pretty emotional. I enjoyed Mirae in general even outside that and wanted to see her succeed, and I found it funny that she chose Yoongi as her way of pushing her boundaries.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is Yoongi is good, too. I think he was the perfect foil type character for Mirae. Well, technically, both of them don't really like interaction very much, so you could argue that's not really a "foil," but a foil in the sense that Mirae is trying to step out of her zone while Yoongi is the absolute worst person she ever could have picked to do so. Though I did find Yoongi engaging as a result, and also individually since he had a lot of personality that was easy to attach to.

Critique-wise, I don't have much, just some small things. The first is to be careful with POV. I would very strongly recommend never switching from first to third person, let alone in the same chapter, as it's really jarring. This happens in the first chapter, which is especially jarring since it's the first and is meant to set the style for the rest of the narrative, though these first and third person shifts can be really awkward unless there's a very clear reason for why you're doing it for some narrative effect, like one Stephen King book I forgot the name of is first person for one half of the book and third for the rest for a specific reason, though here, it felt like the third person easily could have been just in Jin's perspective or any other boy's. Similarly, make sure to always label the POV in a first person alternating story. For example, chapters five and six don't have labels in the beginning, which can make it confusing at first trying to figure out what's going on. Normally we catch on quickly enough, but having that label in an alternating story is very beneficial, so I'd recommend having it.

The second thing is it could be nice in chapter 3 to have a little more anxiety shown in Mirae's thoughts, as we're told constantly throughout the first two chapters how scared she is of strangers and interaction to the point where it's spiraled her to extremely dark places. Her confidence with Yoongi feels completely real, not fake like she describes it, as she seems smug and almost a bit egotistical, which felt really off considering her whole character was described completely differently to us. So I'm not saying it's impossible for her to have that confidence, though she says in her mind it's fake confidence, though there isn't much internal conflict or even sweaty hands that falter her at all or show any sign that she's scared or faking it. I imagine even if she felt very comfortable around Yoongi, there would be a bit more internal struggles for her, so it could just be interesting to see a little more of that added to chapter 3 to make her taking the first step toward overcoming her struggle a bit more impactful, if that makes sense.

Overall, A Shiny Future does a fantastic job immersing the audience in the storyline of the main characters. Mirae is an interesting protagonist with Yoongi working as a good second lead, and the BTS members are fantastic too. I only had some minor critiques but otherwise enjoyed my read!

2nd Place

Go Against Destiny by _reichii

Review:

To begin, I like JP and think he works as a solid protagonist to follow. I've read this before, though returning to it still makes me shocked to read that prologue and see the reveal of the red strings and how JP feels about it. It's a personal look at how he's feeling about multiple complex topics. Love is extremely complex, so it's nice to see it handled in that way. The red strings are physical manifestations of the love, and yet JP can never find the other end of his string both with the string itself leading to love and the string inside him dictating his emotions. He has something missing, it seems, and his life confuses him at times, particularly with the love. So I found JP fascinating in that sense, and I also liked his overall personality with his sass but also that cool demeanor where he gets work done. At the same time, he has cracks and flaws, like when he brings the pen to work despite being warned not to, and this simple oversight almost results in the loss of it. Small thing to mention, I know, but I still thought that was small moment showed the internal struggle of JP beyond the red strings that made him more fleshed out.

Another thing I enjoyed was all the side characters and how their roles interacted with the narrative. Angela is a pretty chill character I liked seeing, same with the other employees around that gave advice to Sky and JP (Sky definitely needed some good talking tos, lol). I know that's a smaller thing and the main focus is on JP and Sky, but I still wanted to mention it since those side characters do matter for making the story feel complete and well-rounded, and I think you did a good job with them.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is, of course, Sky. I talked about JP, so it's Sky's turn. While I was more invested in JP as I found his storyline more original/unique, Sky was still fine and did what he needed to for the narrative. I liked his dynamic with JP a lot and thought they bounced off one another well. His character background is a bit cliche with the whole heir thing and the "I'm straight" but he clearly isn't storyline, though that's not inherently a bad thing, and I think it was overall handled in a solid way, especially with his interactions with JP since they bounce off one another really well, and their personalities mesh well and make for a satisfying read whenever we see them together.

Critique-wise, I think everything I have to say are just things I've said before in other reviews, so I won't talk your ear off about them since I'd rather focus on the narrative. An example, though, would be dialogue being sometimes formatted incorrectly, which isn't a big deal by any means but does impact characters since dialogue is a major part of characters. Like the capitalization of continued dialogue when it isn't a proper noun. I.e. "You're still a De Vera," Cloud had told him one time, "You're still..." (chap 7). Should be: "You're still a De Vera," Cloud had told him one time. "You're still...". Or: "You're still a De Vera," Cloud had told him one time, "you're still...". I put a period/full stop since they seem to be two separate sentences, so connecting them using a comma seems a bit awkward, though if you want to use the comma, then the next part needs to be lowercase unless it is a proper noun since it's seen as a continuation of the dialogue, not new dialogue. Like I said, things I've probably said before, so I don't want to talk your ear off about it other than to mention it since it does matter to the characters a bit but it's not a big deal (I don't think anyone's crying over a single capital letter...).

Overall, Go Against Destiny is a gripping tale that's extremely fun to read, and I think readers will really resonate with Sky and JP's journey. I didn't have much in the way of critiques for this one, so that goes to show it's a solid narrative!

1st Place

On The Run by Kikibtsstan

Review:

To begin, I read Red Ace already, but I'll approach this from the perspective of someone who's just experiencing these characters for the first time as best I can! So, to start off the review, I want to say I think Tristan and Asher work as our leading characters. Tristan did what he did for a specific reason and did his best to make up for it, and it was interesting to see Tristan's side of the narrative with his family, particularly his father. Tristan and Asher's strengths are that they grew a lot more later in the story, but they were never weak characters, even in the beginning. I actually liked how they were introduced and thought their opening dynamic made me interested to read more about them!

Another thing I enjoyed was Asher. I'd say Asher is my favorite character of the bunch, not that there's anything wrong with any of the others (I enjoyed Scarlet and Tristan as well, same with Tristan's father). The reason is because, at first, I thought Asher was funny but was going to quickly become a bit frustrating to read about if he kept that personality the entire time, but I was proven wrong very quickly with Asher showing surprising maturity and intelligence, and I was glad to see he had that more serious side of him. It proved he really is a prince and has that air of elegance and royalty to him, which I enjoyed a lot.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is that there were many funny moments within the dialogue that made me more attached to Tristan and Asher's growing dynamic. For example, I really enjoyed this interaction:

"Wait... It fell off."

"Your butt?"

"No, the fish!"

In context, it's really comedic but in a way that feels natural and entertaining to read about. It's rare I actually chuckle or laugh at a line in a book, but this did get a chuckle from me. Asher is definitely the kind of character who will keep the audience entertained, and I enjoyed his lines in particular quite a bit. They have a good dynamic, though I may be a bit biased since I enjoy grumpy x sunshine types of stories, and this is a great example of a grump x sunshine story done well.

Oh, and another thing is I liked how chapters started and ended. That has nothing to do with the characters really, but I still wanted to mention it since it was something I enjoyed a lot. I'm someone who tends to prefer slower-paced media (my favorite movie is Blade Runner 2049, and sci-fi is my favorite genre, after all), though I actually liked the faster pace here and thought it worked well for the narrative.

When it comes to critiques, I would recommend slowing down in some areas as there were times where it was primarily dialogue with not much happening around it. That's not inherently a bad thing, by the way, though, for example, in chapter 2, it got a little confusing trying to follow what was going on with our dynamic duo. What I mean by that is the snake appears and they're swinging from branches really fast, so it could be beneficial to slow down a bit and flesh out what's happening.

For me, I was a bit confused since I thought they were on the ground as the whole chapter seems to take place with them trekking through the forest, so for them to suddenly be swinging from branches was a bit sudden. It says they leapt to a tree branch, though understanding the geography of the scene may be beneficial since how high can he jump that he was able to get to a tree branch from the ground? I'm not saying it's impossible; I've lived next to a forest for four years now and go in the forest often for filming purposes (I study film in college, that's why), so it's certainly possible, and I've seen some branches low enough to jump to, though just some more description to better understand the geography could be beneficial, and the same applies to character emotions where it could also be beneficial to slow down and flesh out the emotions more through descriptions, if that makes sense, like in chapter 4 with saving Tristan from execution since it happened within two paragraphs, and it could have been interesting to see it fleshed out more.

Overall, On The Run was a great read. It entertained me from start to finish, and it's kind of hard to not find at least one thing to enjoy about this work. If you're someone who likes grumpy x sunshine lgtbq+ stories, this is perfect for you, and I recommend it!

Honorable Mention

Sullivan Siblings by AkornDefalko

Review:

To begin, I just want to say this is such an accurate depiction of siblings, lmao. From the very first few paragraphs of the first chapter, I was getting flashbacks to my brother and I bickering while he was playing Xbox and I wanted a turn (yes, I was one of those "Mom said it's my turn on the Xbox" kids; I still have an Xbox to this day, even in my twenties!). The sibling dynamic, which is the primary selling point of the narrative, is handled well, with them having realistic interactions that anyone with siblings is going to relate to. Bonus points for anyone who is the younger sister with only brothers. It's certainly a unique experience growing up with only an older brother or brothers, and you captured that feeling super well.

Another thing I liked was Huxley. Seeing as she's the protagonist, I'd say it's a pretty good thing that I like her, haha. I mean I'm a woman who went through those school years before (making myself sound old... and also making it sound like I'm not still in school 💀), so her journey was relatable for me on a personal level. Dealing with guys around her underestimating her and treating her like she's a ten y/o at best instead of the growing teen she is is incredibly relatable and makes for an engaging protagonist. All in all, great job with Huxley!

The last thing I'll mention before getting into critiques is I enjoyed how each sibling had their own distinct thing that they had going for them, like Lukas with his very unique reaction to headaches in the beginning, or Odin being... well, Odin. That's probably the best way to describe him tbvvh. Then there's Ivan with his clear personality, as he is older and has that more mature vibe to him, even if he does still represent and uphold some of the rather sexist ideals Huxley's brothers enforce on her. He also is the one with the mystery surrounding him, which makes him interesting. So all of them stand out, and while it'll take some time to be able to individualize them since there are quite a few characters to get used to, all of them are clear and interesting.

Critique-wise, the main thing I'd say is the banter does get a little much at times. For people who are seeking that type of story, this is perfect for them. It's kinda Umbrella Academy-esque in that sense, so I did enjoy the banter overall (I am an Umbrella Academy fan, after all), though it did cause the story to feel very long. And, to be fair, it is; it's almost 13 hours long with only 25 chapters, meaning the chapters are about 30 minutes long on average. I didn't feel these chapters needed to be that long since the core plot with Ivan takes a long time to really come into the spotlight, with a majority of the beginning of the story being mostly banter with some deeper topics sprinkled throughout, like how high key sexist Huxley's brothers can be at times, which gives the narrative more layers, but it is primarily banter even during those deeper moments, so it could be cut down on to help keep the pacing consistent, though since the characters are good, it's not a huge deal.

Overall, Sullivan Siblings is an entertaining read with characters that the readers will enjoy seeing. Huxley in particular is a standout, but so is the sibling dynamic. For anyone who enjoys The Umbrella Academy's banter and family dynamic, this narrative is a great choice for them!

Honorable Mention

The Cosplaying Cowboy Chronicles by 4everSherlocked

Review:

While it is extremely early in the story, with the plot only just now beginning as of what's published in 2025, I do think there is potential here for the characters. I can't comment on Jungkook since he really just showed up, but I do enjoy Yoongi so far and think he's full of personality thus far. I liked how he saved Taehyung and has a genuine heart in him, but he also has his priorities straight and makes sure to look after himself above all else. I also found it funny that he gave his shoes to his dashing travel buddy near the beginning because he thought they were made of real gold lol.

Another thing I enjoyed was the side characters. Hoseok, Namjoon, and Jin are all present in the beginning as side characters I have a feeling we're not gonna see much of for a while, but that's okay since they do their jobs to support Yoongi and have very clear, distinct personalities that make them stand out. That's just a long way of saying I like the side characters, lol.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I think the story is overall heading in the right direction, with the plot kicking off now and Jungkook introduced, alongside Jimin as a bounty hunter, and you can't go wrong with that. I actually have a bounty hunter Jimin fic in my drafts, though a different kind of bounty hunter lmao. But that aside, I think the story is going to head in the right direction, as the story has solid foundation and clear direction, so I'm excited to see more.

The main critique I have is to consider downsizing on dialogue tags, as you use them very frequently. It's more acceptable when more than two people are talking, or if you have a few unknown characters talking, but for one-on-one conversations between two characters, consider downsizing. For example, in chapter 2, the vast majority of the lines present have dialogue tags, which can take a lot of emotion away from the dialogue since you're over-relying on tags. It can also get repetitive from a reader's perspective since it can get boring to read so many dialogue tags back-to-back; we already know who's speaking based on the back and forth speech pattern between two people, so tags aren't as needed in those cases.

The second thing is I would recommend avoiding all caps in dialogue except for like maybe one or two words at a time for emphasis, and there are quite a few times throughout where there are all caps in dialogue. I say I recommend avoiding it because A) it can come off as overdramatic, B) it can hurt reading speed, and C) it's telling over showing. It's not a big deal but still worth mentioning.

Overall, The Cosplaying Cowboy Chronicles has a strong start with an interesting protagonist in the form of Yoongi, and it seems as though Jungkook is going to be strong, too, from the small bit we've seen of him so far.

ALL REVIEWS:

MYSTERY OF DARK MEADOWS by Izzah4972613

Review:

To begin, I was instantly attracted to Fiona's character and was curious to know more about her. I found it interesting how she's the one who's presented in that anime-style way, while every other character isn't. So I found that interesting how she has a very distinct appearance to her not only in terms of the anime style but also in terms of just her overall look. That black hair is iconic, and I liked the style you gave her. And there's also just something about her that I liked. I honestly can't put my finger on it, but something about Fiona had me enjoying her, but hey, that's clearly a good thing, seeing as that means I was invested in Fiona.

Another thing is as the story progressed, I enjoyed seeing Hayden's POV more. For example, in chapter 9, I enjoyed how he got a bit nervous around Fiona. It's cute to see that shy side, and in general, as the story progressed, I found myself more invested in Hayden and his caring nature. The way him and Fiona were around each other made for a fun dynamic that I enjoyed reading about, but even outside of Fiona, Hayden held his own as an individual and was interesting to read about.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I like the last chapter posted at the time of reviewing this (chapter 19) since it shows a different side of Fiona and really makes you feel the tension in that moment with her trying to be romantically involved with Rowan, her suspect. She's playing a game of cat and mouse, and you have to feel for her here since she's doing a lot. As you can probably tell, I like Fiona, and she's probably my favorite character out of all of them.

When it comes to suggestions, I would recommend using less pictures, as there were so many to the point where sometimes we'd read one paragraph and then get 1-3 pictures, which, for me, got a bit distracting and pulled me out of the text. I would recommend downsizing on how many are used and focus on the descriptions instead, that way readers can remain immersed in the text. Another reason is because sometimes the pictures can take me out of the moment more than pull me in because they depict the characters incorrectly, like in chapter 11 when you use the picture of two men staring at the camera who look nothing like Matthew and Felix as they're completely different races, not to mention those boys in the photo are famous (the Martinez Twins), so it can be especially distracting when the photos improperly depict the characters and instead depict other real life famous people. Consider describing the intense gazes instead of having the picture there, that way it's more immersive. I hope that makes sense!

The main critique I have character-wise is how many there are. There are three cast pages at the beginning of the story because there are I believe fourteen characters, if I counted correctly, which is a lot, especially since let me put it this way: there are almost as many characters as there are chapters (14 characters, 19 chapters out currently). There's nothing inherently wrong with having a lot of characters, though with the amount of characters along with the fast POV changes, it made it a bit difficult to learn the characters. When I was six chapters in, I was still struggling a bit to really identify with the characters since the POVs were switching super quickly before we got to know much about them and their thoughts, and that combined with the number of characters was a lot to take in. So instead of removing characters, though that is an option too if you want to go that route, I would recommend simply fleshing out the POVs more and giving the POVs more individuality. For example, Matthew's POV in chapter 4 is a good length that feels like it focuses on him a lot, which was great. On the other hand, chapter 6 is only 4 minutes long and has 6 POV changes, and the chapter is more like 2 minutes long since the pictures take up a big chunk of the read time bar, so there are essentially three POV changes per minute of reading, which is a lot for a reader to process and makes it difficult for them to connect with the characters, if that makes sense. So to summarize this, I do like what you're doing with Matthew's POVs, though for other characters, it could be beneficial to slow the pacing a bit since the story goes by very quickly, and having that extra time to sit with the characters would be nice, if that makes sense.

The last thing I'll mention is to be careful with grammar and spelling as there are frequent mistakes throughout the narrative, such as Matthew being inconsistently spelled. Sometimes it's spelled as Mathew and other times as Matthew, so I would recommend more consistency there, and I would recommend using a grammar checker like Grammarly, QuillBot, and/or ProWritingAid if you do not already. I only bring this up in a character review because the grammar and spelling impacts the dialogue, which impacts character, but it's not going to impact placement much.

Overall, the character work present throughout Mystery of Dark Meadows is good and does a solid job keeping the reader entertained, and my personal favorite character throughout was Fiona!

Black Rose by Yootifully

Review:

Black Rose is a short story that follows two characters, Y/n and Jimin (alongside minor side characters, like Aera), through a character-focused journey, with the title playing a significant role in what the story is about. It mostly focuses on unraveling the mystery behind Jimin's whole... Jimin. Honestly, I think that describes it more than any analysis could, lmao.

Anyway, moving into the review, I'd say that the characters present throughout Black Rose do a good job sparking intrigue. It builds a mystery throughout the runtime of the story, particularly through the character of Jimin. So I think that you start off strong by giving the reader questions about what the heck is going on with Mr. Park and why he's being a tsundere like ehehevhnddjbfgb.

Another thing I enjoyed was how Y/n's storyline wraps up. I do have some critiques for the presentation of Y/n, but her storyline was still engaging nonetheless, and I wanted to see her get a happy ending. I think it's easy to sympathize with her due to all she's been through and the way she goes about it. It's safe to say she has PTSD, and it's a gripping storyline that I think readers will enjoy a lot; I know I did.

The last thing I'll mention before getting into critiques is this is what dark romance should be. Too much of the genre is romanticized r word and ab/se for sake of being "dark," but dark romance, in my eyes, is more like this, where the two leads are probably pretty bad for each other with pretty bad pasts that connect more than they realize, but it's not like they're hurting each other physically and it's being romanticized. It's a dark topic with romance surrounding it, which is proper dark romance, in my opinion, and that does impact the characters a lot since it's the entire foundation of their relationship, so it's actually the most important praise I can give!

The critiques I have are primarily about the dialogue. It could use some smoothening to make it sound more natural since sometimes the dialogue sounds a little awkward. For example, I would recommend avoiding semicolons in dialogue. This is a debated topic, though I align with avoiding semicolons in dialogue unless absolutely necessary. I say this because semicolons are more tools for technical writing fluidity rather than natural speech, unlike other punctuation marks like commas and ellipses, which are more required and natural. The simplest way I can put it is you can tell when someone has a comma in their spoken words, but telling when they have a semicolon is extraordinarily difficult because we don't really speak in ways that warrant semicolon usage. So it is a debated topic, though I personally would recommend avoiding them unless absolutely necessary.

But moving beyond that, I would say my main critique is Y/n's dialogue since it feels like the chapter 1 and 2, but especially chapter 2, Y/n feels very different from the Y/n present in the rest of the story. It's understandable that she would talk a bit differently with Aera than anyone else, and that's okay to a certain extent, though it does feel a little jarring. However, that being said, the more prominent thing is chapter 4 is all exposition about Y/n's character, which isn't inherently a bad thing, though since Jimin's mystery is spread out over the course of the story, it could be interesting to see the same with Y/n, so it's a double mystery where the information about Y/n is built up over time rather than exposition dumped on us for an entire chapter, since chapter 4 is almost only exposition until the very end. So it could be interesting to have that exposition spaced out more so it parallels the mystery of Jimin. I hope that makes sense!

Overall, Black Rose does a good job sparking intrigue through the character of Jimin, and while I did have critiques for Y/n's presentation, I still all in all felt for her story and wanted to see her succeed!

Love On Duty: A Story Of Love And Responsibility by ShuKurenai2009

Review:

Love On Duty has many strengths with its character work, with one of the highlights being the Y/n and Phi storyline that launches Shu into Y/n's life more closely, creating the inciting incident, so it becomes a back-and-forth showing Free and Shu's side of the narrative along with Shu and Y/n's side of the narrative. But we'll talk about Shu more in the next two paragraphs, seeing as he is the protagonist. For now, I'll stick with the Y/n and Phi storyline and say that I enjoyed it, and I liked how it unfolded more and more the more you read, like in chapter 5 when things become dangerous for poor Y/n with Phi showing even more of his true colors. So I thought that was an intense storyline that I was engaged with.

Another thing I enjoyed was the twist where Dalny ends up being Shu's girlfriend teased in the beginning chapters. Not only is she Shu's girlfriend, but she's Free's fiancée, making for a complicated relationship that builds tension not only between Shu and Dalny—seeing as Dalny accused him of cheating even though it wasn't true—but also between Shu and Free since Shu doesn't want to hurt Free, though it's neither man's fault. It's just an awkward situation where Dalny agreed to marry another man, thinking Shu cheated on her, but now she wants him back and Shu is left torn. So I thought that made for an awkward situation where you can feel for Shu and Free, and it makes you want to cheer for them going forward.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I like Shu. I'm not familiar with the fandom, so I get to see Shu essentially from an outside perspective and judge based on that, so I think it's a good thing that even from an outside perspective without the bias of already loving the character, I still like Shu. It's a really good sign when you can make both fans and non-fans happy with your interpretation of the character since that means you're showing him in a way that's clearly accurate to the source material but also accessible to non-fans if they want to pick the story up. So when it came to Shu, I was invested in him and felt bad for him when he got accused of cheating, though I was impressed he stood up for himself so strongly and even provided hard proof to show he wasn't cheating. It was nice to see him stand on business and not back down and take the allegations. It goes to show how strong he is!

I believe my critiques are all things I've mentioned in the past, so I won't talk your ear off about them but will still mention them for purpose of the review. For one, I would recommend giving more description to the character appearances, as they were a bit vague throughout the narrative. For example, chapter, or part, two. In this part, there is this line: "After some time, a girl came with an emotionless face while looking down." Since this is someone Free is in love with, consider adding a bit more description about how she looks from Free's perspective. Not only will this make Free more sympathetic as a character if we're able to see how he views Dalny, but it'll also give us a better understanding of how Dalny looks, so when you later describe her doing things like smiling, laughing, glaring, etc., we'll have a better mental image of what she looks like while doing those things, if that makes sense.

Another thing is there are frequent spelling, punctuation, and grammar, or SPAG for short, errors throughout, and it can interrupt the flow of dialogue. For example: D-Do you not happy with this marriage? (part two). Should be: "Are you not happy with this marriage?" The "do" is the issue since it doesn't agree with the rest of the sentence. There are frequent agreement errors like that present throughout the narrative, same with missing articles (the, a, and an) in front of certain nouns, punctuation errors (missing commas especially), etc. So I would recommend tweaking the SPAG whenever you have a chance.

The last thing is I would recommend downsizing on the stuttering, as there is a lot of the letter stutter (i.e., h-hi) present throughout the narrative. I would recommend trying not to use this at all, or at least very sparingly. There are a couple reasons. For one, since you're writing this in script format, scriptwriters normally don't write letter stutters into dialogue since it can limit an actor's interpretation of what it may sound like. We instead will just do something like this:

DALNY:

(stuttering)

What?

If you are intending to write a script, then that would be the correct way to format it. If you're intending to write more of a book, then I recommend using book format dialogue, like this: "What?" Dalny asked, her voice hitching. Something like that to show the stutter instead of doing "W-What?" It's also more engaging for the reader since frequent stutters are extremely difficult to read. If you find one of your lines with a lot of stutters, if you try reading it out loud, you'll notice that it's really difficult to read, and, yes, stuttering is supposed to be difficult, but for a reader, it can be more frustrating than immersive since it's unnatural to us. So that's why I recommend showing the stutter instead of telling it using the repeating letters. For example, describe the voice. Is it hiccupping? Hitching? Cracking? You can even just say: "What?" Dalny asked with a stutter. You can also have the characters trail off or cut themselves off as if in disbelief, thus showing the emotions of the dialogue more. You can use secondary triggers, too, such as body language. Maybe Dalny starts backing away while speaking and shakes her head. Maybe she bites on her nails. Maybe she plays with her hair. Those last two are common nervous ticks people have, and by giving her a nervous tick, not only are you characterizing her more, but you're also showing more emotion instead of telling it and making the dialogue more well-rounded. You can of course apply this to any character (and as many characters as you want; I always try to give my characters some kind of unique nervous tell they have during emotional dialogue), though I was just using Dalny as an example. I hope that makes sense!

Overall, Love On Duty does a good job bringing you into the author's world, and its main strength is its protagonist, Shu, who is caught in the middle of two storylines: Free's and Y/n's. He has to make tough choices, clear his name, and question his own morals during these storylines, which I think makes for an interesting plot. The story could use some tweaks to its grammar and presentation, like limiting the stuttering and considering adding more description so we understand the characters more, though I still think it all in all has a lot of entertainment value that made it enjoyable to read.

She Belongs To Me by sugararmy07

Review:

Jungkook is whipped.

I think that's the best way to describe Mr. Jeon here. He's whipped, he's happy, and he wants Ara more than anything. For those reasons, I enjoyed Jungkook, even when he was getting all jealous over Taehyung, which, to be fair, I'd get jealous over Taehyung looking at my love interest, too. I mean, Taehyung has a far better chance than I do lmao. But that aside, I enjoyed Jungkook being wiped. I thought it was also interesting yet sad to see the high school break up kind of thing, where he got friend-zoned and watched the woman he loves go into a relationship with another. It's heartbreaking, but also an experience most high schoolers have. So as heartbreaking as it is to read, it's good for Jungkook's character since we get to see what he's going through in detail, and that makes him more sympathetic.

Another thing I enjoyed was Jungkook's relationship not only with his parents but also Ara's parents. I like how there's a positive family for once. It's pretty rare in BTS fanfics for there not only to be positive family around them but also a family that actually talks to each other and uplifts one another, so I enjoyed that wholesome side of the story where Jungkook admires his dad a lot and gets along well with the Mins!

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is Ara. I do like Ara, too, and you have to feel for her, considering she felt bad for everything and blamed herself simply for being a normal teenager and doing what anyone in her shoes would likely do: date Taehyung. I mean, come on, who wouldn't, right? But it was also mature of her to part ways with him and learn from the experience, and I respect her a lot for being able to do so! I liked her and Jungkook about equally, though I would say her character concept had more intrigue with the whole concept of being a teenager feeling like they were in the wrong simply for being in love, so you did a good job with her.

Critique-wise, the main one I have is be careful with overusing exposition and telling over showing as in the first few chapters especially, there is a lot of exposition and telling over showing. You'll tell us exactly how the characters are feeling, telling us when they're happy, when they're proud, what they're thinking exactly, etc. Now, don't get me wrong, both telling over showing and exposition are needed in every story, so I'm not saying never use exposition and telling over showing, I'm rather suggesting to consider downsizing on how much is used as there was a lot of telling over showing in particular. Consider showing the emotions more, like fleshing out how voices sound (i.e., scratchy, smooth, hiccups, etc.), fleshing out the facial expressions more (diversify the expressions by using more than the basics; i.e., involve their eyebrows, their noses, their forehead creases, etc.), fleshing out how their body language impacts them (i.e., a more assertive character might be more up in your face while a character on the shy side might stick to the corners and keep a lower pitched voice), etc. There are countless ways to show emotions and characterization, so I encourage you to play around with it!

Another thing that's more minor is there's a lot of smiling present throughout the story. Okay, I know that probably makes me sound weird for pointing that out, so hear me out. What I mean is there's an overuse of smiling throughout the story, where there will be a lot of smiles in one chapter, and it ends up feeling like the description you fall back on, so it could be interesting to see it diversified a bit. Like in chapter 3, toward the end, "I smiled" is used twice almost back-to-back with Jungkook, and it's written in the same way where it's just I smiled. So the line is only I smiled, and then there's another paragraph break. So all of that is to say consider diversifying the facial expressions more and cutting down on the smiling. I hope that makes sense!

Overall, She Belongs To Me does a good job portraying its two lead characters, Jungkook and Ara, and it also has positive family relationships that were refreshing to see!

Mirror by Seamlesslove

Review:

To begin, I think Jungkook works as the lead character. He's a determined person who genuinely wants to do his job and do it well, which is always fun to see. I think we as audiences have a soft spot for characters who genuinely want to do the right thing, though it's both a positive and negative trait since it can lead to him pushing himself too far and almost destroying himself in the process. So not only is it entertaining from a reader's perspective, but it's also a solid trait for the protagonist to have. Along with that, in BTS fanfics, it's common for Jungkook to be the jerk character. While there's nothing inherently wrong with that (I personally will never get tired of the "character who starts off cold then becomes warm and sunshine later" trope), it's nice to have a story where he's genuinely good.

Another thing I enjoyed was, yes, Jimin. I'm a woman of simple tastes, okay? If Jimin is on screen, I'm happy. But he works as a solid deuteragonist who bounces off of Jungkook well and also assists Jungkook's characterization. Though, at the same time, Jimin is his own person and character who stands on his own two feet, upholding the legal side of the story with a sense of grace and passion. He has that sense of justice, too, but he's very logical and honestly does have that older brother kind of feel where he is wiser than perhaps he even gives himself credit for, so it's interesting to see that wiser yet concerned approach when it comes to the case and Jungkook.

The last thing I'll mention before getting into critiques is I think the character dynamics work well throughout the story, with Jikook of course being the highlight, though of course there are others sprinkled throughout who do a good job bouncing off of the main cast, such as Namjoon and Jungkook's relationship and how, in the beginning, Jungkook is in and out of Namjoon's clinic twice within a handful of hours, leading to some banter between Jimin and Jungkook while also giving Namjoon a chance to shine. So when it comes to how the characters bounce off one another, I think that works, too.

Critique-wise, the main thing I'd say is be careful with telling over showing, as there is a surplus of it present throughout the narrative. This not only applies to emotions but character traits/personalities as well, where you'll often tell us who a character is instead of letting us see their traits, skills, and emotions through showing over telling methods. For example, we know when Jimin is shocked, we know Jungkook's exact position and the skills he possesses, etc. This is especially prominent in voices, where in some chapters, like chapter 5, we're told "his shock evident in his voice," or "he seemed shocked," or "his annoyance was clear in his voice," or "the cop sounded shameful." These lines individually aren't inherently bad by any means. Every story needs telling over showing at least in some capacity, so that's not to say never tell, though just reading the first few paragraphs of chapter 5 has that many lines of telling over showing. In the first nine lines of chapter 5, whenever there is description in those nine lines, each description is telling over showing. So consider showing these emotions and traits more instead of telling them, as you have room within the chapters to do so since they're mid-sized and aren't at risk of being too long or unneeded, so I think you have room to experiment by describing these traits and emotions more, if that makes sense.

Overall, Mirror has strong characters, particularly in its lead character, Jungkook, who is a refreshing take on the Jungkook character present throughout BTS fanfics. It could benefit from doing more showing over telling as much of the character information is told to us instead of shown, but it's still all in all a solid work with solid characters.

Silver Lining by _SugaRush_

Review:

To begin, I think this narrative does a solid job hooking readers in. I have read this story before, but it's been a while, so returning to it was almost like reading it again for the first time and trying to remember everything, and I was like "Woah, this is cool." I love how there's a mystery here where we're trying to figure out Taehyung's role in it. I'm mentioning this in a character review because the reason I'm intrigued is the characters and how they are what bring that intrigue through their unique storylines. The plot revolves around the characters, and I think you did a great job keeping the readers in suspense by hooking them in with the two lead characters who I will talk about below.

Another thing is I enjoyed Soomin's character. Even though we as readers have the outsider knowledge to know Yoongi is probably innocent in the whole event that went down leading to her brother's death, it's totally understandable and, beyond that, human for her to react the way she has. She's shutting Yoongi out due to what she believes, and also because, whether she'll admit it consciously or not, she's not ready to unpack that part of her life yet, and Yoongi is a big link to that part, so she projects and lets a lot of that anger out on him. It's understandable and complex, making for a powerful female lead that I enjoyed reading about. She stands on her business without ever feeling over-the-top or anything of the sort, so I enjoyed how she wasn't a pushover but also had very realistic flaws and drawbacks making her well-rounded. I'd say she was my favorite character.

The last thing I'll mention before getting into critiques is I felt for Yoongi and wanted to see him succeed. Like I mentioned earlier, the intrigue throughout the narrative was strong and had me hooked, and a lot of that intrigue stemmed from Yoongi. I found it interesting how a few chapters in, we see how Yoongi is determined to protect her even though Soomin wants nothing to do with him. His determination shows how he's trying to make up for a past event (presumably linked to Taehyung), and it characterizes him strongly. I think Yoongi is a solid lead character to follow due to his clear personality and his relationship to Soomin, and when the two lead characters have my attention, that's a massive positive for the story!

Critique-wise, the main thing I have to say is there are POV errors throughout the text that make it hard to fully attach to the characters. For example, chapter 16 starts in first person and then ends in third person despite there being no clear POV change, and it goes back and forth from first person to third person throughout the entire story with no clear throughline or reason why we're getting such drastically different POVs. I recommend very rarely, if ever, switching from third to first person POV unless there's a very specific reason why you're doing it. By that I mean a really, really good and specific reason, and I would still recommend keeping it consistent even if you go that route. Maybe one chapter is first and the next chapter is third and it alternates between the two instead of being random, as it can be a lot for the reader to take in. A new story by itself can be a lot for a new reader to take in, so having to do that on top of adjust to frequent, inconsistent POV switches can be overwhelming for audiences.

Another thing which is really small is consider writing out phone calls narratively, since they're written more like a script or text message rather than a call. It can just be a bit distracting to go from narrative to script-like format when it's a phone call and not a series of texts.

The last thing I'll mention which is also a small thing is it could be nice to have just a little more physical description of the characters, such as Minyoung and Jiwoo not getting much description, especially in the beginning parts of the story. I'm not saying you need to add paragraphs upon paragraphs of description, though some additional description to help readers get a better mental image of them could be beneficial.

Overall, Silver Lining is a solid story that will intrigue readers from the very beginning, and the two lead characters, Yoongi and Soomin, are really good additions to the plot. I think anyone who picks this up will enjoy the characters!

The Duke's Secrets by J_Lunar

Review:

To begin, I like how you play with our expectations here. While Elizabeth's role was clearly going to be larger based on the way you introduced the hooded woman, it seemed as though Alexander would be a major part of that beginning segment of the story, but he didn't. He was there to fight, then the focus shifted to Elizabeth and made her the core protagonist, with the castle making up the major important plot. Alexander is important to Elizabeth's characterization, seeing as he abandoned her, but Elizabeth is the core focus, which I appreciated. Though, that being said, I did enjoy the opening with the band of four, and I thought Alexander's choice was interesting. It was a flawed choice in Elizabeth's perspective, though others may see it as the right one since Alexander believed he was saving his friends from death all in return for Elizabeth. It can raise a moral dilemma where readers will question if what Alexander did was right or not. Alexander is a flawed but interesting character, so I thought his side of the story was entertaining, same with how it transitioned from an Alexander focus to an Elizabeth focus.

Another thing I enjoyed was how the side characters were implemented, and also just in general the characters outside the Duke and Elizabeth, regardless of how big or small their roles were. For example, I thought Lilith's introduction was good, and the mystery surrounding her involvement with the Duke was handled well. Grace was another one I enjoyed, and I thought seeing her stand on her business with the Duke while also having a caring nature was enjoyable to read. The castle felt more alive as a result of seeing these characters and how they interact with one another, so I thought you overall did a good job with them, and none of the characters felt weak or anything of the sort.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is Elizabeth herself. I enjoyed the running flaw of her being unable to really shoot arrows despite it being her weapon of choice, with her missing basic shots to the point where even the Duke himself is so flabbergasted all he can do is laugh at her poor aim. It's really funny but also sad for Elizabeth, and it makes it easy to feel for her on a deeper level when she's just a commoner dragged into this situation and in way over her head with a lack of skills but a potential to become extremely skilled, and the Duke sees that in her. So I did find myself attached to Elizabeth, and I wanted to see her succeed, and I liked the balance between her flaws and strengths to make her feel well-rounded.

Critique-wise, the main thing I'd say is be careful with adverbs, as there are a lot of them, like the -ly adverbs in particular. For example, meticulously is one adverb repeated often, especially in chapter 5. I say this because adverbs are telling over showing, and while there's nothing inherently wrong with telling over showing (every story needs at least a little telling over showing, after all), overusing adverbs ending with -ly is discouraged due to them often not adding much, if anything, to sentences and feeling a little too on the nose with the telling over showing. So I would recommend downsizing. Most authors recommend not having more than one -ly adverb per 300 words. To downsize, consider using the find and replace tool through Word or Docs or any other site with a similar feature and looking up ly. From there, consider deleting, replacing, or rewording some of the adverbs ending with -ly. In most sentences, deleting the adverb can be more than enough to tweak it, though some sentences may require small rephrasing to make it more natural, but there are countless ways to change adverbs that I encourage you to play around with!

The second thing is the occasional usage of "me" throughout was a bit awkward, like at the end of the first chapter and in chapter four with Elizabeth. It makes it sound like there's an external narrator, but the narrator can't be both Alexander and Elizabeth, so if it were the case that there's an external narrator who's actually one of the characters, then one of the uses of me has to be incorrect. This seems to be third person omniscient, though, based on the way it does head hop, so there can't be another narrator without it being a bit confusing, so I would recommend replacing those "me" moments with the character name or pronoun, or making it more clear it's a character thought since first person is okay in third person when it's a direct character thought. I don't read full stories for mini awards, so it's possible there's an explanation for this later in the story, though based on what I read, it does come off as a bit confusing. I hope that makes sense!

The last thing is be careful with unnecessary exclamation marks and italics, though let's start with exclamation marks. I noticed a few unnecessary uses of them throughout the text, like this from chapter 7: "Let's just get this paperwork done before the day ends!" (the Duke is speaking). Like adverbs, exclamation marks are telling over showing but also emphasis marks that should be used sparingly to keep their emphasis, especially in the Duke's case since he doesn't strike me as the type of character to use exclamation marks often except in situations he's at his angriest, and in that example, he was saying that quote casually, so the exclamation mark was a bit off, in my opinion. Back when I was in middle school, an English teacher said something that stuck with me to this day: exclamation marks should only be used for situations like "I'm pregnant!" He said this to demonstrate how rarely they should be used to keep their impact, so consider downsizing on exclamation marks. The same applies to italics since every character, but Grace and the Duke especially, have excessive italics in their speech, so it could be beneficial to downsize to help give those italicized words more meaning, as overusing them makes them lose their impact the more you read.

Overall, The Duke's Secrets has solid character work presented throughout that made for an entertaining read. Its highlights are its side characters surrounding the castle and the protagonist herself, Elizabeth. It could use some tweaks to the overall presentation to keep the emotions fresh and to avoid confusion within the writing, but it's all in all a strong work!

Also, as a side note, this was extremely close to getting an honorable mention, so for those reasons, I would like to provide some votes on your story to show my appreciation for your hard work, as I enjoyed it a lot.

~End~

That does it for the final batch of results. I'll have the closing remarks out soon. The chapter is done; I wrote it prior to posting this. Though, I want to give some time for the final results to marinate before I post the closing remarks, so stay tuned for my concluding thoughts!

Now that the contest is over, you are of course welcome to remove the contest from your reading list, though keep in mind you must remain followed as the follow is still permanent.

Daily reminder that Jimin is hot.

Okay, that's it. See you in the closing remarks!