The original Chapter 22 was deleted. I'm so sorry for those of you who weren't given the chance to read it. :(

Good news is that I feel better about how I wrote this than the original! :) I even added a song as an apology 😔🤚🏻

**TRIGGER WARNING**

==

1 Month Later

Yoongi sat against his bed frame, unmoving and eyes staring blankly into the depths of the slate grey wall. He hadn't gone to school for the past week. Just... completely lost the motivation to.

A soft knock resonated through the silence of the room before the door quietly creaked open.

"Yoon?" Jimin called out in a whisper, pink hair and dolly blue eyes peeping through the crack. When he didn't receive an answer, the boy proceeded to walk inside with his socked feet lightly pattering on the black walnut flooring.

Yoongi's outgrown mint hair curtained over his eyes, creating a barrier to block his real emotions from being seen. The younger sat near the edge of the mattress with a hand placed weightlessly on the others foot under the comforter.

Ever since the day he found out about Hoseok taking his own life, Yoongi blocked off any feelings; sadness, guilt, regret, hurt, heartbreak. He cried but never opened up to anyone about just how numb his heart was. He let the aching of his mind take control— pushing Jimin away, neglecting little Yoonji, getting into ridiculous arguments with his friends. He let down Hoseok and he's doing the same to the rest of his loved ones.

The mint head weakly lifted his hand; the disk that the brown-eyed boy held 'til his last breath was now loosely pinned between his fingers. Like a silver needle hung by a thinning, black thread.

"He loved making music." Was the first full sentence he'd spoken in a while. Jimin looked up, a little relieved that the male was finally talking. "He wanted me to listen to his songs... I never did."

He took a short pause, exhaling a shaky breath. The younger placed his smaller hand on top of the other's, a useless gesture of comfort at this point.

"I don't think I have the right to anymore. I never had the right. How am I suppose to listen to his thoughts and emotions when I couldn't pour out mine? I couldn't fucking stand up for him, Jimin!"

The pink haired boy sighed, pulling the older to his chest. Yoongi cried. The painful crack of an aching heart rung in their ears. Suddenly skinship was a lot more difficult than it used to be. Yoongi wished those were Hoseok's arms wrapped around him. Jimin wished he was cradling the brunet instead of the boy in front of him.

"If this is about what happened with Sehun last week..." Jimin started.

A Week Earlier

"You fucking asshole!" Yoongi furiously shouted, grabbing the male's shirt and landing a punch to his guts.

Sehun stumbled back, taken by surprise from the sudden attack. "What the hell, Min?!" He rubbed his stomach.

"You're a sick bastard!" A punch straight to the face.

"The fuck did I do?!" The taller angrily spat, holding his jaw in place.

"You know what you did." Yoongi gritted through shaking fists.

Jimin ran to him at the start of lunch, cheeks completely soaked in tears. He overheard a pair of students talking about seeing footages from the security cameras through the student body's office. They were consisted of day after day videos of Sehun dragging a fearful Hoseok into empty classrooms and Hoseok walking out with a limp.

It was clear what had happened each time yet no one thought of reporting it. To them, it was all fun and games for their sick entertainment. To Hoseok, it was a step closer to his decided fate.

"Is this about that brownie of yours?" Sehun finally came to his senses, scoffing. "Haven't seen him in a while, huh."

"He's gone because of you!" Yoongi yelled, shoving the taller back. A small crowd formed around the two; some recording and others too busy listening in to do anything else.

"Gone? As in dead?" The predatory male asked in shock.

But it wasn't long before his infamous grin took over his tainted features. "About time."

That earned him a hit to the nose. A loud crack resonated through the hall, letting everyone know of the future bandage he'd have to sport for the next month or so.

Sehun fell on the floor and Yoongi took it as a chance to grab the guy's collar and lift his hand up, ready to land another punch.

"Funny how you defend him now that he's dead but you couldn't defend him when he was still alive." Sehun smirked, blood dripping from his nose.

Before he could cause any more injuries, the mint head processed the other's words. His fist lowered at the realization.

Sehun took this as an opportunity to push the boy off of him and walk away, leaving Yoongi to his own thoughts.

=====

Play this song while reading cuz it helps set the mood :)

It's up there too if this one doesn't work for you☝🏼

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Song: You and I by Aspen Grove

=====

Present Day

"I'm not saying that it's not your fault, Hyung, but I am saying that we all are guilty for taking advantage of Hoseok's kindness. If one of us just reached out to him— asked about his feelings—... he'd still be here." Jimin whispered the last part, thankful that Yoongi couldn't see how teary eyed he was.

The older pulled away, wiping his own eyes and leaning back on the headboard again.

"Have you eaten yet?" The younger questioned to lighten the atmosphere. The mint head didn't answer which the older took as a no. "I'll go grab you something to eat from the kitchen."

Jimin stood up but before he could walk away, he felt a light pull around his wrist. He looked back, seeing the older's blue eyes stare into his own.

"I-I want take out." Yoongi shakily exhaled. The pink-haired boy's eyes softened.

"Then I'll go to that pasta place you used to love." Jimin didn't even question the unusual request. Instead, he ran his small hands through the older's soft, green locks and left a featherless kiss to his temple.

It hurt him. It hurt the both of them.

"Listen to it, Yoon." He encouraged before gently closing the door behind him.

Yoongi was alone again. This was the perfect time. The perfect time to do what he'd been wanting to do. He opened the drawer from the nightstand and pulled out his laptop and a small, cylindrical object.

He plugged in his earphones and popped the disk in the player. The device spun, sounding like when his mother vacuumed in the room next to his.

Then the first song started. Anyone could tell how melancholic the rest of the piece would be just from the beat. His grip on the white bottle loosened from hearing Hoseok's voice. A series of agonizingly emotional words of 'blue side' cried in his ears. It was beautiful. The pain was ethereal.

It was as if the brown-eyed boy was pouring his feelings to the other for the second time. As if they were back on the hotel's balcony floor.

The song was so captivating that it didn't even faze the older after downing the whole bottle of pills.

The playlist continued... and so did his soul.

The blue-eyed male closed his eyes, the sea dulling behind his lids.

This would be his own proposal to Hoseok, in return for the boy's promposal.

He'll take him to their own dance.

Send him good mornings when the sun rises and goodnights when the sun sets.

Hold his hand when he's in need of comfort.

Kiss his worries away.

Hug him out of love.

...

Maybe it was the world's plan for Hoseok to take his own life. Maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it was the world's plan for Yoongi to follow Hoseok... Or maybe it wasn't.

Maybe the world purposefully matched brown and blue eyes to create a beautifully tragic love story.

But in the end...

Hoseok made a selflessly selfish decision for himself and Yoongi made a selfishly selfless decision for Hoseok.

Oxymoron: a figure of speech in which two opposite ideas are joined to create an effect

THE END

=====

Don't forget to read the Epilogue.