Before I head for the shower, I decide to give Grams a call. We made out to call every weekend. Looking at the clock I hope it's not too late in the evening. Thank god I have a long charging cord for my phone otherwise I'd be stuck next to the socket. Just to gain enough power without it turning off right away, I wait ten minutes for it on fast charge. Grams picks up after the third ringing, she must have been waiting.

"Hey Sweetheart, you back this late? Your phone was off I was worried."

"I'm fine Grams, I still had some homework to do with Jake and my phone had died out."

"Who's Jake? Someone you met at college? Is he your boyfriend?"

Typical Grams, ever since I turned eighteen, Grams has been looking out for someone I could marry and settle with. I have to chuckle that this is our first topic of the night.

"How about I tell you about my college first?", I suggest as I am not sure how to tell her this is my Jake and not a new Jake. I shouldn't have mentioned him in the first place, stupid me didn't think straight.

We talk for a whole while about my classes, about Oxford and my work. She tells me how my grandpa went to Oxford too and how proud he would be. To be honest I don't know much to say about that, because my grandpa died when I was only two years of age, so it's not like I have many memories about him. I nearly thought I could jump that part with Jake and say good night as my Grams starts off again.

"Alright Sam, tell me about this boy, you are very good in trying to find your way out. But I know you too well Sweetheart. So, tell me about this Jake." The hopeful tone, tells me she is rooting for the whole package including great grandchildren in her head already.

"Grams, you know who Jake is. It's Jacob Baker, we have classes together."

I hear her gasp at the other end. "Oh my lord, Sam stay away from that devil. Please tell me you are staying away from him."

Of course, I knew she wouldn't like it, but I am not going to lie to her after all she's the one who took me in five years ago. She bought a small house for us, after mum died and I owe her so much.

"Grams you know I hated Jake the last five years. But things have changed, he has changed and he feels really bad about what happened to me."

"Sam stay away from him, you hear me."

"I can't Grams, I really tried to, but you know I always loved him before everything happened, you know we were inseparable. And we somehow still seem to be the same, as much as I tried to stay away from him and hate him, I can't. Besides we have classes together and even sit right next to each other."

"Perhaps you should change classes then", Grams voice sounds ice cold, I have never heard her like this.

"I don't want to change classes, you know this has always been my dream. And Grams I love Jake, as much as I didn't want to, I can't change my feelings."

"You listen to me carefully now Sam, end it now. Him and his family are nothing but trouble, they have destroyed our lives. So, end it no discussion."

I knew she wouldn't like it, but I never thought she'd react this harsh. This is not my typical sweet grams. She sounds so full of hatred and anger.

"I'm sorry Grams, but it's my decision and I am giving Jake this chance because I want him in my life again. If you don't like it, you will simply have to deal with it."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that Samantha, you have no idea about this brat", she nearly spits it like venom.

This is too much, I cut the call off. Damn I love my Grams I really do. But she was going too far and I didn't want a huge fall out with her. She's even more stubborn than me and she wouldn't have stopped ranting about Jake, something I just don't want to listen to right now. It's been hard enough getting my mind wrapped around this shit myself, but now I know what I want. I want Jacob Baker back in my life, no matter what she says, it won't change the fact that I love him. And after all these years of misery and pain, I just want to feel happy for once.

All she needs is some time to come to terms with things, she'll understand once she sees how happy I am. Not wanting to give up she tries to call me another two times, I ignore it as I know I'd only be in trouble.

Right now, I am too tired to handle her anger, guess best thing is for both of us to calm down and clear our minds first.

Instead I decide to take my much needed shower. The warm water relieves my muscles which have become all tensed up from the argument. I hate arguing with Grams, she's my only family left, but she needs to learn to accept my own decisions. She often still seems to think I am five years old and need to be told how to handle life. Growing up also means making own decisions, perhaps I'll fall, but that's how you learn, right? If others are always making decisions for you, you never learn to be responsible and learn to deal with your own mistakes or whatever. It's my life, my path and I am old enough to walk it on my own.

After all I had to grow up way earlier than others anyway. Damn, the shower isn't exactly helping me, I need some better distraction. Well at least I feel clean after the long shower.

Emi looks into my stressed-out face, as I stroll in my pj's into our living room.

"What's up Sweetheart?"

"I had a fall out with Grams because of Jake, I know it's late but can we snuggle up for some Netflix together? I can't seem to get my mind off of it."

"That bad?"

"I hung up on her", tears start leaking from my face. Damn I've never cried this much in the past.

Emi knows I usually would never ever hang up on Grams and gives me a concerned look before she stands up from the couch.

"Ok, you make some more popcorn and I'll fetch us a huge fluffy blanket and I already know what we'll be watching."

I love my bestie, she knows exactly what I need. No matter how often I have watched both parts, I just love kissing booth, it's sweet and shows how crazy love can sometimes be and yet work out just fine.

Just as the movie starts I receive a message. For a second, I think about ignoring it, with a second thought I realize it might be Jake and it is.

Hey my Lovely, what are you up too? Wish you were here

"Awww does he really write my Lovely?", Emi's voice above me interrupts my butterflies I was getting with those words.

"Emi ever heard of privacy?" I complain.

"Babe you are laying with your head on my tummy, not my fault your phone is showing in my direction."

Admitted she has a point, besides she is Emi. What else is there to say? Instead of saying another word I reply to Jake.

Having a Netflix evening with Emi after a fall out with Grams. By the way Emi is reading along so stay decent.

Emi starts chuckling.

You mean I am not supposed to write about the cold showers which couldn't be cold enough?

Emi blushes behind me and I chuckle at the sight, it's seldom you get to see Emi blush.

Yeah, I think you got it! Exactly those kind of things

Ok, then I'll tell you about them tomorrow during class

Emi behind me nearly chokes on her popcorn.

Don't you dare

You're missing whatever you are watching. Is it something perv by the way?

Nope

Would you tell me if it was?

You'll never know

Ok, I'll be trying to figure this out all night. Good night my Skater girl

Have fun figuring this out. Good night my Skater boy

"You two still use those terms?" Emi asks with a smile on her face.

"You know this has always been our pet names for each other."

Kissing booth does its job really well, I finally calm down. Half asleep I crawl into bed at 1am and pass out immediately.

*****

Fuck that shit, I feel like slamming my alarm clock against the wall. Since I've moved here, the fucking nightmares have gone worse again, even after dropping off to sleep so fast last night, I hardly had any rest at all. The nightmares started off at 2am and peaked with a bad panic attack at 5am. It was like, as soon as I dropped off to sleep again they started haunting me repeatedly.

It's always the same things, Michael calling me all sorts of names, Michael tearing my clothes and the sounds he is making while raping me, the way he choked me until I felt all blurry. He stops choking me out of some reason, but he won't leave me until he's done with me.

Sometimes I also see Jake's horrified face before things go blurry. 

I run for the bathroom and start puking. Fuck if this keeps up so bad, I will need something against my panic attacks again. As I am drenched in cold sweat, I decide to take a quick shower.

Reaching the kitchen Emi gives me a worried look. "Nightmares again?", I nod. "Sam you need to do something about this. You never had counselling maybe you should finally go for it."

"I'll be fine Emi, you know I have been through lot worse times. Guess it's just all the stress and being reminded a bit at the moment. Once I've settled in, things will get better again." Just the thought of going for counselling makes me want to puke again. No way I want to talk about what happened, I'm simply not ready for it. Talking to Evans was hard enough and it feels like opening the box of Pandora and once it's open it will be impossible to close it again. Is it healthy? Probably not, but at the moment I simply can't.

"Don't be so fucking stubborn, you've had these nightmares all the years and now they are getting worse again. Look at you, you are even puking because of them, please Sam it's no shame to seek for help."

"I know it's no shame, I simply don't want it. Damn I'm simply not ready to talk about that shit. I talked to the police about it in every single fucking detail, putting me through hell and it only made things worse for me. No matter how much you plead, I am not going through that shit again. But if it makes you happy, I might just think about going on to something against anxiety again."

"Fine, as you are the most stubborn person besides your Grams that I know, I'll leave it for the moment. But Sam I am watching you and if things get worse, I am sure someone else will want to hear about it too." That's a clear threat. Emi's been worried for years about this, now seeing it herself tenses her up even more.

"Don't you dare tell Jake about this, ok?"

"If I have to I will, for your own safety. So, do something about it."

Leaving the house one of Emi's dates is stood in front of the house. Emi has a huge smile on her face and her cheeks turn crimson. "Oh my god, you've got a crush", I whisper to Emi. "Why the hell haven't you told me about it?"

"Well you know we dated on the party and we've been texting a lot last week. But you know there have been more important things going on." I feel guilt wash over me again. Damn because of all my drama she didn't tell me about this guy? Gosh I'm a terrible friend.

I know his name is Ian he's at the skatepark too, but he always seems a little shy.

"Emi no matter what is going on in my life you can always talk to me. I'm so sorry I've been too busy and messed up to be a good bestie."

"Well it's nothing to really tell you about anyway. I've sat on his lap, that's it. And now shush it."

Just sitting on someone's lap and texting, is something totally new for Emi, that must be a real crush.

As soon as we reach the guy, he gives us both a huge smile. "Hey I've seen you at the skatepark and with the others, it's Sam, right? I'm Ian."

"Hey Ian and yep that's me. Pleased to meet you." A huge smile creeps upon my face while replying. My sweet not committing bestie has a real crush and he's cute.

We walk the way together, Ian hardly says a word but he keeps on eyeing Emi and every time he does she blushes. This is so cute, I've never ever seen Emi this way.

The moment we reach our cafe, my heartbeat increases as I see Jake leaning against the wall in front of it with a cup in his hand. He's dressed all in black, black torn jeans, black V-neck shirt, black Chucks and his black leather jacket. God I can't take my eyes off of this sex pure man. Looking this awesome without even making an effort should be forbidden. This man has been made for temptation and now he's my boyfriend. Will he still feel the same today? The way he is checking me out is definitely promising. He smirks as his eyes are first set on my leather jacket and then on my shirt underneath showing. JUST DO IT

Emi gives me a knowing smile.

"Hey Jake", Ian greets him.

"Hey Ian, see you at the park later on?" Jake replies casually.

"Sure", he looks back and forth between Jake and me as Jake's eyes don't leave me one second.

He gives me a big smile, causing my knees to go weak and sending my heart into overdrive.

"Hey, what are doing here?", I ask a little shy all of a sudden as I know what I would love to hear but can't imagine it.

"I bought my girlfriend her favourite hot chocolate and have been desperately waiting for her. Don't I get a kiss?"

Alright now my whole body has gone into overdrive. How can he look so damn good and say and do such a sweet thing? This must be a dream, right? Insecure I pinch myself, just to be sure, damn that shit hurt. In the corner of my eye I see Emi chuckle, she must have known what was on my mind and thought the same.

Once I am right in front of Jake he hands the cup to Emi. "Here, hold on for a second." Then he wraps his strong arms around me and bends down to plant a soft kiss first on my forehead then on my lips. "Been waiting for this all morning", he whispers while my stomach is doing these summersaults again. He keeps one arm wrapped around me, while the other reaches out for the cup in Emi's hand.

Emi and Ian head into the cafe leaving Jake and me on our own. I nearly laughed at the look on Ian's face, his jaw had dropped and his eyes were torn wide open in disbelief. Guess no one has ever seen Jake this way before. Jake hands me my cup and I give him another kiss, this time a little longer.

"Thank you. How did you know where to find me?"

"You come here every morning. You usually get a hot chocolate here and a coffee directly at the campus. Except on bad days, then you'll have two coffees."

"Whooaaa wait, have you been stalking me?", I pretend to be absolutely shocked.

"Let's say it was a coincidence which turned into a habit over the last week", he chuckles nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

God his deep chuckles again making me want to jump his bones on the spot. Is it at all allowed to have dirty thoughts at this time in the morning right before classes start?

"A habit?" I repeat as question.

"Remember your bad coffee day last week? I was here too, I always come here before classes. As you hated me, I tried to hide and obviously it worked. Anyway, I enjoyed watching you each morning, you always seemed happy the moment you got your hot chocolate."

It's ever so cute to hear this from him, no way am I admitting to it though.

"You are creepy", I say instead and take a sip from my hot chocolate hiding the warm smile creeping upon my face.

"Yep, creepy a perv, what else? Oh, right a jerk, self-centered, my ego is far too boosted, wait I am sure to find some more things", I chuckle and slap him slightly against the chest while we walk to campus, with Jake's arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"You want to tell me about that fall out with your Grams?"

How could I tell him, he's the reason for our fall out? Knowing him he'd feel even more guilty as it is. At the moment I think it's best to keep it to myself. It's enough Emi knows about it.

"Nah, it'll be fine. We just have different point of views with somethings in life."

A/N: This chapter was a little mix chapter and a filler I know but I hope you still enjoyed it.

And hasn't Jake turned into a sweet and playful boyfriend? I think we need a couple of chapters of a happy Sam and Jake before shit goes down. (I mean you know this is Wattpad right? Too early to just be lovey dovey ;) ) Stay tuned in.

Where ever you are, I hope you are staying safe! <3

Every comment puts a smile on my face 😊 And please don't forget to hit the star button.