MACY

The sweet aroma of pancakes lingered in the air. It was the perfect fragrance to wake up too early in the morning. Sunlight bombarded in through the open curtains, warming up my bare skin that was barely covered by the comforter. Opening my eyelids slowly, I noticed that I was alone, my naked body sprawled across the entire bed. Wrapping the comforter around me, I rolled out of bed. Our clothes were strewn all over floor so I grabbed the first thing I saw which happened to be DeAndre's white T-shirt.

Dropping the comforter, I shrugged on the shirt which ended slightly below mid-thigh. A groan escaped my lips as my head began to throb from the amount of alcohol I had consumed. I ran my fingers through my knotted hair before grabbing a hair tie from my dresser and putting my hair into a messy bun.

The amazing aroma that waft around me made my stomach rumble. I felt as if I hadn't eaten for months. In actuality, I had hardly eaten anything since I got back to California. Most of the time I would eat a few bites in a day and leave the rest of the meal. My appetite had left me completely and I knew that was an onset of depression but I ignored it, just trying to get through the day.

I made my way to the kitchen, my bare feet tapping the hardwood floors of my apartment lightly as I did so. We ended up at my apartment last night since it was closer. Also, I just felt more comfortable in my own place. When I entered the kitchen I was met with the mouthwatering sight of DeAndre standing shirtless behind the counter. A lips splitting grin made its way to his face as his eyes took in my body covered in his shirt.

"Good morning beautiful," his voice was husky, deep brown eyes swirling with lust. He walked around the counter and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head as they landed on his manhood.

"Whoa!" I yelped, turning around so I wouldn't be caught staring, "Could you at least put some pants on or something, or do you like being the naked chef?" My sarcasm made him laugh a hearty laugh. His hands snaked around my waist, pressing my back to his chest and resting his chin on my shoulder, "I'm serious, please put some plants on 'Dre." I grumbled.

"Fine," his warm breath fanned across the side of my face, "keep an eye on the pancakes then would you?"

I nodded, chasing him off. He had already made an entire stack of pancakes which I was fully ready to dive into. 'Dre trotted back in wearing his jeans from last night. He made a B line for me, bringing me into his arms and meeting my gaze. His deep eyes bored into mine, almost as if he could see my soul.

"Let's try this again, good morning beautiful," he murmured, crashing his lips to mine. They were soft, decedent but without the alcohol in my system, they felt wrong. It wasn't as if he was a bad kisser, quite the opposite actually, but I didn't get that high I received whenever Axel's lips made contact with mine.

Stop comparing them!

My subconscious chided but I couldn't help it. 'Dre wasn't even bad in bed but he didn't have Axel's dominance either. For a muscular guy with so much strength, he was actually very gentle. If it wasn't for the alcohol in my system I would have probably not have gone through with whatever happened last night. It was a bad lapse of judgment.

'Dre pulled away slightly, concern etching itself onto his face when he realized I had stopped kissing him and just stood there unmoving, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. How was I going to explain to a perfect stranger that I probably just used him as a rebound to make myself feel better but in the process, I just felt like a pile of shit? I couldn't even use the line 'it's not you, it's me' although it would be the truth. Stepping out of his hold, I allowed the gush of fresh air to clear my senses.

"Nothing, I just expected you to leave. I mean... After last night I thought I'd wake up to an empty bed this morning. That's what generally happens with one night stands, right?" I broke off a piece of pancake and tossed it into my mouth. It tasted so good that I had to stifle a moan that threatened to escape.

He shrugged, "I would have but you looked so beautiful and peaceful just laying in bed so I decided I'd at least make you breakfast. Remember I told you that I always get what I want, I didn't mean that I wanted to end up in bed with you. I actually thought you were beautiful and I wanted to get to know you."

Guilt began to stir within me, "Oh. I actually thought that we could just be a one-time thing or something. I'm not really ready for a relationship or anything right now."

He let out a perplexed sigh, a sullen look in his eyes as his lips twitched into a sad smile, "I actually thought as much. It's okay though. I'm not looking for an instant relationship so we could just get to know each other in the meantime." He clearly wasn't letting go of this easily.

Relenting, I said, "I guess we could."

'Dre beamed at me, "Awesome, would you like anything else with your pancakes?"

I looked at the assortment of things on the kitchen counter. He had taken out the chocolate sauce, honey, syrup, butter, sugar, and even cinnamon, "No, I think you've covered everything. Just some coffee and I'll finally feel like I'm part of the land of the living again."

His laugh resonated in the room, "Coffee is already made," he easily found the coffee cups. Instructing him on how to make my coffee, I pulled out the barstool and made myself comfortable. This felt nice in a way. Having someone else around to put my mind at ease. It was better than just sitting by myself and overthinking.

He placed the coffee in front of me and we easily fell into conversation. I might have not felt immediate chemistry between him and me but he was funny, charming, smart, and as an added bonus absolutely handsome. We ate breakfast with him telling me about himself. He was twenty-four and still attended law school. Law was his passion, bringing justice fairly to everyone no matter race or nationality. When he spoke about it his eyes would sparkle in the most childlike manner. Because of the color of his skin, he had it tough growing up and all he wanted to do was make it better for other people like him. After all, your race didn't define you.

When he asked about me I stared at him blankly. I decided to leave out most of the parts in my life, only telling him about my job as an editor and how I had just gotten this apartment after moving out of my parent's house. The details of my very recent yet past relationship weren't mentioned and neither was my job as an escort. Those were things I thought would be best kept to myself. 

After breakfast, I allowed 'Dre to take a shower. He insisted on me joining him but I kindly turned down the offer. Everything that happened last night was still swirling in my head like a whirlpool and I didn't need to add more. I felt guilty, so guilty for what I had done. A thought popped in my head to message Axel or phone him and constantly apologize for what I had done but what good with that do? We weren't even together anymore. There was no reason for me to feel guilty. My heart may have still belonged to him but that only meant so much.

All I knew was that I needed to get my shit together. I couldn't just go sleeping around. It helped me deal with everything at that moment but once that moment was up, everything came crashing down like a pile of boulders. Everything that happened just made me hate myself. I wasn't sure how much longer I could deal with it all. If I had one wish it would be to have Axel by my side telling me everything will be okay.

"Penny for your thoughts?" 'Dre asked as he waltzed into the living room. He looked at me expectantly, his shirtless body catching my attention quickly.

Shaking my head to rid myself of those sexual thoughts, I plastered on my best award-winning smile, "My thoughts cost much more than a penny."

He hummed in response, "How about dinner tonight then? You can tell me what's got your mind so preoccupied over a nice meal or we could just go to McDonald's because I could probably live off their French fries." Those eyes of his never lost their twinkle and his charismatic behavior reminded me so much of Axel.

Because of that, I decided it would be nice to keep him around, "Maybe not tonight but Monday we could meet for lunch if you're available."

My suggestion made him smile in satisfaction. His large figure towered over me as he placed one hand on each handrest of the couch. Just my luck, I found myself snuggling into the softness of my one-seater. Now, I found myself being caged between him and the couch making me wish I chose the two-seater couch instead.

"Lunch would be great," he whispered, the warmth of his breath more prevalent seeing as he was a hair's breadth away from me, "Now, would you mind handing me my shirt or should I leave your apartment half-naked?" A mischievous glint flashed in his deep brown eyes, the flakes of gold in them captivating me.

I was starting to think that I had a fetish for guys with nice eyes.

Forcing myself to snap out of my gawking state, I felt a tinge of heat under my cheeks. Embarrassment washed over me when a hungry look masked his features. Placing my hands against his well-toned chest, I pushed him away slightly, "No, let me just go change into something else and I'll give you your shirt."

If I didn't know better I would have thought that a glimmer of hurt flashed in his eyes before disappearing. However, if that were the case, he pulled himself together very quickly and plastered an unfazed grin on his face, "Alright then."

I all but ran to the bedroom once he set me free from the cage he created with his muscular arms. The sound of him snickering drifted to my ears but I chose not to react because I wanted him gone. His company may have been nice to have around but at the moment I just wanted to be left alone.

I managed to find one of my sports bras, shoving it over my head and then jumping into a pair of yoga tights I found thrown in the closet. Once DeAndre had his shirt on, we exchanged numbers and made plans for what time we should meet on Monday for lunch. Fifteen minutes later he was gone and I finally had the apartment all to myself to revel in its peace.

Letting out a deep breath I didn't even know I had been holding, I began cleaning up the apartment. The more I kept myself busy the less I had a chance to sit and think. If it meant scrubbing a plate for five minutes straight until my hands wrinkled from being waterlogged then that was exactly what I would do. By the time I was done, I could probably eat off the toilet floor. Of course, I wouldn't do that but you probably could with how it shined.

After all that cleaning, I finally took a well-deserved shower. The scalding water massaging my tense muscles. It relieved some of the pain in my body but nothing could truly take away the emotional pain I felt deep within my heart. Once I was done with my bathroom duties, I began to get myself ready for tonight. Dwayne and Chase had tried to get ahold of me multiple times last night, both worried that something bad might have happened to me. I sent them each a text confirming that I reached home safely and that I would explain everything to them once I saw them.

I began curling my hair with a towel wrapped around me. No matter how many times I tried, the curls refused to stay. It was one of the greatest curses of having soft wavy hair. No amount of hairspray helped either so I decided to braid my hair to the side. There was no need to dress fancy either because Chase would provide me with an outfit for the afternoon. Considering I attended many grand parties, I needed to look the part. Like I had mentioned before, this was my chance to be someone I really wasn't. It was exhilarating.

Just as I finished slipping into a floral dress, a knock sounded at the door. Grabbing my phone, I looked at the time and realized that it couldn't have been the driver Chase would send to pick me up. I then hastily looked around the room to see if DeAndre had left anything behind but that was a no as well.

"Who is it?" I shouted, standing at the threshold of my bedroom. A part of me knew how ridiculous I was being but staying alone kind of creeped me out a bit. I always found myself on guard, prepared for every possible contingency. I even kept an open Bible at my bedside just encase some demon tried to attack me on the way to the toilet late at night.

Fuck, I have lost my shit!

"It's me," Dylan's muffled voice replied and I let out a breath of relief, "Now can you open the damn door because there's some weird lady wiggling her eyebrows at me!" He sounded freaked out and very uncomfortable. You would expect a man as good looking as him to be comfortable with the weird looks by now.

Skipping over to the door in a leisurely way, I twisted the deadbolt and opened the door to allow him in. My opposite neighbor, a sweet old lady to some and apparently a cougar to others stood at the entrance to her apartment, eyes welded onto Dylan's rear. The cheeky smile she shot me made an uncontrollable laugh to tumble out of me. This caused Dylan to glower at me before shoving his way into my apartment.

Closing the door, I turned to meet Dylan's furious gaze, "If you're here about me slapping Lacy then you should know I already apologized and I feel bad for doing it but she stepped out of line..." I began but was halted by his raised hand which instantly shut me up.

He had this aura around him that demanded every drop of attention someone had, it didn't matter who the person was, "I'm not here to reprimand you for slapping her although I'd like to. I know it's not my place to intervene between you two because once you girls makeup, I'll suddenly be the bad one. It's just safer for me to be a spectator at this point."

He wasn't wrong. We had fought before and we always made up on our own terms. The backlash almost always affected the third person. Lacy was my sister in so many ways. Sisters don't always get along, they do fight from time to time but its best that the fight stays between them.

"I am actually here to talk to you about your..." Dylan allowed his sentence to trail off. I motioned for him to continue with a simple roll of my wrist, "Lacy is worried for you. Your parents are practically pulling their hair out due to the stress and you know that your mother shouldn't be stressing right now."

"I'm perfectly fine," I grimaced, flailing my hands in the air, "They honestly have nothing to be stressed about."

"They don't see it that way. Okay, forget about them for five seconds and actually think about yourself. You've lost interest in your own well being in the process of constructing those metal walls of yours. Doing this, whatever this is, won't help you."

"You're one to talk," I snorted, folding my arms across my chest.

"I say this because I'm speaking from experience," his sententious voice whispered, "I know you're going through some stuff right now but you aren't exactly dealing with it in a healthy way. There are women who would do anything not to do the job you're jumping to do."

"That's because they don't exactly do the same thing as me. I'm not selling myself to men like Lacy had so kindly put it. It's not like I'm jumping into bed with every man I meet," I gritted, but I immediately felt the bile of guilt rise in my throat. Dylan did not need to know about what happened last night.

"Only because your boss has some type of liking to you which you surprisingly don't find weird," he said in a clipped tone. No one here knew that Chase was gay and it wasn't my secret to tell so I kept my mouth shut. That unfortunately meant that everyone thought Chase wanted something in return for helping me out.

Why was it so easy for everyone to see the bad in someone but so difficult to appreciate the good?

"Dylan," I let out a perplexed sigh, "I know what I'm doing and you all just need to stop meddling. If this blows up in my face then let it. I really don't care anymore." There was no use fighting with him or anyone else for that matter. I truly didn't care anymore. Dylan was right when he said that I lost all interest in my well being. My decisions would cause me to crash eventually, I knew that much, but how can you control something broken?

My life became the epitome of broken.

"Lacy was right. She told me that you use to be a person who loathed self-pity and now you're drowning yourself in it even though there are so many people throwing you a rope to save you," the amount of disgust in his eyes made me cringe.

"Might as well use that rope to hang myself while I'm at it," I attempted to joke but no one laughed. My throat suddenly felt dry and it became hard to swallow. The phrase 'Truth is a hard pill to swallow' drifted into my head, mocking me.

I made my way to the kitchen, Dylan's heavy footsteps thudded behind me. Grabbing a soda from the fridge, I decided to offer Dylan one remembering my manners. He declined with a nod to which I shrugged a shoulder. The soda quenched my thirst, partially at least. I could already feel myself growing tired of the conversation we were having. It felt like I had the same conversation one too many times.

"I know that losing someone you love hurts Macy. When your cousin left me and chose to marry that prick instead it guttered me. I couldn't understand why she did it and I still don't. She felt bad for a guy who had done nothing but make her life hell on Earth. But I didn't just sit around, I didn't accept it. My point is, you need to fight for what you want. If you love this guy so much that you're allowing yourself to spiral out of control like this, then maybe you should fight for him," Dylan awkwardly stood at my side, placing an arm over my shoulders in a comforting gesture, "If you feel he's worth it then you need to pick yourself up and go after him."

Crushing the empty soda can in my hand and tossing it in the trash, I shrugged off his arm, "It's easier said than done. It's not like we live on the same continent."

"You'll find a way. There's always a way." He sounded like he truly believed that, "You need to do what truly makes you happy and not this fucked up crap you're doing now. Lacy didn't pay off your debt for you to continue with this fucked up shit."

"What?" I growled and his eyes widened in realization to what he had just admitted, "What do you mean Lacy paid off my debt. I distinctly asked her not to do that so why the fuck would she go against what I said?" My feet began pacing up and down on their own accord. The kitchen wasn't a large area, to begin with anyway so after every four steps I had to turn around.

"Fuck!" He hissed, "I wasn't supposed to tell you that," a pained looked crossed his face and I realized it was because he knew the amount of hellfire Lacy was about to rain down on him for letting that piece of information slip. He held his hands up in a frantic gesture, "Look can you pretend like you never heard that and not tell her I told you."

"Fuck no!"

"Come on Macy. It can't be that much of a shocker. Did you really think your dad could afford to pay off your debt? Lacy did it because she thought it would keep you safe and she liked the idea of you and that guy together. I guess it was her way of playing cupid actually," he did his best to defend his girlfriend.

"Leave Dylan," I barked in anger but he didn't even flinch. Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, I began dragging him toward the door. He stumbled a few times but managed to not trip on his feet, "Tell Lacy that she can expect every penny she paid back including interest." I fumed.

He nodded his head vigorously when he felt my grip on his T-shirt's collar tightening. I took that as my opportunity to swing the door open and literally throw him out, slamming the door in his face.

So I know its a little late in the book to be adding a new character but I did it anyway. I just wanted to show that people deal with breakups differently, some have limitless sex to full that void and others have rebounds. It's part of life really.

Also I estimate more or less 10 chapters till the end!

On a side note:
Check out this amazing book called Sweet Euphoria by a friend of mine illusionedkisses It's romance so I bet you all will enjoy it! Here's the cover: