Now it's a fact, I'm without friends; or at least with most of them. Tiana was the only one I saw sitting on her bed waiting for me to open my eyes, only she greeted me with a smile, and I felt like scum.

I was never good at showing my feelings; otherwise, I would have been crying on her shoulder, begging for forgiveness. Instead, a grimace came out along with an apology. I went too far with the hit, and I surprised myself that I was willing to shoot her. However, she smiled warmly, sat beside me, and put her arm around my shoulders.

"Honey, the name itself says 'war games'. Although I don't agree with the smoke grenades, Hall shooting Andrea mercilessly, and the fact that Eric distanced you from us, what had to happen happened; it was all part of a war game. If you had been on our team or we had been on yours, we would have done the same."

"And the others?"

"Andrea is upset about the grenades, her guy has a big bruise on his neck and is upset because she thinks you should have reprimanded Hall when he shot her. Ian is resentful since your absence the day before yesterday and that you shot him twice, he also has a bruise on his neck. And Jim is not upset, he doesn't usually take things personally. Just think about it, our two friends don't know how to lose." she sighed dramatically.

"Why do I feel terrible?"

"Because you still retain your good moral judgment of Amity. Don't worry, you're a Dauntless and you acted like one, you got the most points."

Everything was in order with her, we went to have breakfast and Freya gave us the news of a day off, so it was 11 in the morning and there was a lot of activity in the pit.

I had never had friends until now, and it's quite curious because I used to worry about losing them. However, now I was on the second floor sitting on the concrete ledge while watching the others. I was alone and felt good about it. My mind was at peace, and there was no need to talk or pay attention to anyone. I just let my thoughts wander and think about Eric Coutler.

I was a bit apprehensive; I wanted to see him, but at the same time, I didn't. The second kiss made two things very clear to me: 1. There will be more than one kiss, and 2. Nobody will know. It wasn't a coincidence; he won't see me as his equal in front of others. I'll be just an initiate while privately, I'll be the person he can devour lips with. And yes, I feel bad because I'm speculating too much, I'm getting paranoid, and I'm hurting myself in the process. I don't want to think about it; I want to lock my feelings in a box and lose it every time I'm with him. He's not in Dauntless today; Max sent him to Erudite, and I found out because I've been sitting in the same place for about two hours, and the people around me tend to speak very loudly. In conclusion, I won't see Eric today.

"You look very lonely, do you mind if I join you?" Raphael's voice sounded behind me.

"As you wish." I replied disinterestedly.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him sit down beside me. Raphael was muscular and burly, a big guy covered in tattoos. I let out a nasal laugh; it was very ironic because I was annoyed with him for misinterpreting my relationship with Eric, and precisely yesterday I had kissed the said person.

He sighed; he didn't know how to talk or start a conversation. I turned to him with a half-smile. "I forgive you."I winked.

He smiled back, looking away. "Four is a good mediator, and he's right. I can't tell you what to do." he sighed again, struggling. "I'm sorry, and I was also an idiot for misreading the rule."

"Yes, you were." I laughed. "Don't worry, besides, I don't have anyone else to go for more tattoos." I shrugged. We both laughed, and I shook my head at my own comment, leaning against the stone wall.

"Why is the little tattoo artist mad at you?" he asked, changing the subject.

I smiled. "Ian?" The dark-haired one nodded. "I didn't attend his pre-party. Yesterday, there were war games, and while all my friends were with Four, Eric chose me. Not to brag, but we won, and he got mad because I shot him in the neck." I chuckled, disguising a laugh.

"Now I understand everything," he laughed. "You broke his heart." he nodded. "Yesterday, I saw him with his friend drinking; he looked very depressed."

"I admit that afterwards, I felt really bad, I attacked everyone without caring about our friendship. I apologized to one friend; the others are still upset." I shrugged.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine, I can live without them. It will be strange, but it won't keep me up at night."

And I wasn't lying; I could live without them. Although I missed them and felt bad at first, my father taught me that things are temporary and I shouldn't depend on anyone to survive. And right now, I need to put his teachings into practice despite the resentment. Raphael nodded, he had a lot to say, and I could see the frustration in his eyes because he disagreed with my belief and the stance I chose, but I didn't plan to ask for his opinion.

"I just found out about James, how do you feel?" he changed the subject again.

"Do you know what happened?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I've heard his version, but I don't need to know you better to know it's a lie." his gaze was penetrating, not only did he imply that he trusted me, but he also sought the truth.

I took a deep breath along with a grimace.

"I was drunk, I remember we drank a lot, and he took me out of the bar. In the hallway, he tried to touch me, but I refused, and he kept going. I don't want to go into details, and I'll just say that if Eric hadn't shown up at that moment, he would have assaulted me. He hit him, threatened him, and saved me. I know what you're saying, and I also know what he does with the initiates; it's his revenge for wasting exotic and stupidly expensive drinks and not being able to take me to bed." I was uncomfortable, feeling exposed talking about it.

Raphael's jaw tensed, he looked away while shaking his head. "Eric and James were always very good friends, Grace. Don't trust yourself. I don't know what happened, but I can tell you that—"

"No, stop."I shook my head slowly. "Don't do that, don't make me distrust the only person who saved me."

He sighed, his eyes filled with frustration as he swallowed the knot of words that had been stuck in his throat and nodded.

"And what will you do?" he asked.

I made a face as I looked up, seeing the large skylight Dauntless had in the pit, then returned my gaze to Raphael.

"I'm an initiate, Max won't believe me. In the second stage, I'll maintain my position and become a leader to crush that miserable cockroach with Max's support." I shrugged. "It's the only way I see it."

He nodded as he analyzed my words. "It's your revenge, Grace. Go for it," he shrugged. "What will you do today?"

"I have to take a walk, and you?"

"Tattoos."

"If they ask, can you say I was with you all day?" I bit my lip.

"Where are you going?" he squinted.

"To find myself." I smiled playfully.

He smiled at my comment. "Go before I change my mind."

***************************

The only thing I could hear was my heel pounding the ground frenetically and the clock hanging on the wall, my right hand's nails suffering under my teeth as I chewed on them out of nervousness. I had to buy a backpack to hide the file and evade everyone to get on the train; my heart was about to leap out of my chest as I debated whether to return or not. I surprise myself every time I try to be stealthy; I had managed to leave Dauntless and enter Amity without anyone knowing, I'm elusive, and once again I confirmed it. I was going to see the man who raised me again, this time because I want to, and I don't know if it's the best idea. I was sitting in his favorite chair, facing the door through which he would enter once he had harvested and eaten while scripting in my mind.

The file was in front of the table, exposed for him to see and know why I came. The imposing footsteps on the porch of the house became present; I lowered my hand, stopping biting my nails as I heard him grasp the doorknob and open it. There he was, I saw him again; he looked tired with drops of sweat dripping down his forehead and chest. He stopped in the doorframe as he looked at me, waiting for it to be a hallucination; then he closed the door with a sigh of fatigue, leaving the cloth backpack hanging and returning his gaze to me and then to the table where the file was, closing his eyes and lowering his gaze.

"Eric only thinks about himself but is loyal to Dauntless above all factions. He didn't tell Joanna about the classification. You know that because you were in Dauntless." I spoke, trying to remain calm.

His gaze sent shivers down my spine, and I startled, feeling like I was on the edge of a precipice as I watched him smile ironically—a slight smile I had never seen before, a smile that I only saw in Dauntless.

"So, did they punish you?" His voice was still rough but this time with a hint of amusement. "What did you do to have to clear a room?" He crossed his arms.

"I got into a fight with a girl." I murmured.

He chuckled, shook his head, and walked to the kitchen to grab a glass and fill it with water. "What are you doing here? You can't be in another faction in the middle of your initiation." he said, placing the empty glass on the kitchen island. "And get off my couch." he ordered, warningly.

I got up from it, took the file, and placed it on the island, lifting my gaze to challenge the man who forced me not to look him in the eyes. "How is it possible? You were from Erudite, your aptitude test was Dauntless, you were the leader of the intelligence center, and you ended up in Amity with—"

He slammed his hand on the kitchen island and then pointed at me again. "Don't talk to me like that, Grace." he spoke through clenched teeth, containing his anger.

"No, I've had enough. I'm tired of lies and betrayals; I hate two-faced people. I demand the truth." I slammed my hands on the kitchen island, now annoyed.

I could see surprise in his eyes; I had never challenged him before. I just needed to be in Dauntless to know that there are limits.

"Do you want the truth?" he asked, leaning in, showing displeasure. "I took care of burying it a long time ago, and I won't allow an innocent girl to unearth it."

"You said I was in danger, why?" I pressed.

"Get out of my house. You don't know anything, and for your own good, burn that thing and forget everything," he pointed to the exit. "I made it very clear to you; forget about me, it's your problem."

"No," I countered.

He circled the kitchen island, approaching me, and just as he was about to turn to face him, he grabbed me forcefully by the neck from behind, pulling me towards the exit. I spun around, hitting his abdomen and bending his arm so I could break free. As the sweat on his body revealed a dark design beneath his shoulder, I seized the collar of his shirt, pulling it down to reveal his arm and inadvertently tearing his garment.

The Dauntless logo was marked on his shoulder. I let out a breath, verifying once again what the file said. "They always wore dark jackets or shirts to hide it..."

His palm collided with my cheek, completely turning my face, and the physical sting of his blow, along with the emotional impact of the moment, brought forth an inevitable sob.

Furious, I shoved him with both hands, repeatedly striking his chest. He seized my hands with his own, looking at me with concern as tears welled in my eyes. I managed to break free, and without hesitation, my fist struck his jaw.

I might just die today from the punches I throw without thinking.

Swallowing hard, he made circular motions with his jaw and turned around to sit on his sofa, rubbing his forehead.

I could sense his exhaustion, his weariness of continuing this father-daughter relationship; he no longer wanted to continue, but I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. He needed to know what happened.

"You owe me that." I murmured.

"I owe you nothing," he smirked cynically as he continued to massage his temples.

"Yes, you do. I need to know what happened," I insisted.

"These are my problems, not yours," he growled.

"You're Divergent, aren't you?" I dared to ask, my throat tight with emotion. "It's very clear. You were discovered in Dauntless and ran to the only place where you'd be given asylum." I laughed bitterly, wiping away my tears. "You're causing me a conflict, I'm starting to think you're not even my dad."

He chuckled, lowering his hand and meeting my gaze. His eyes were dark and menacing, even more so than Raphael's or Eric's.

"Just because you didn't have that paternal affection doesn't mean there's no kinship between us. I'm your father, whether we like it or not." he sighed irritably. "And no, I'm not Divergent. You are."

My spine tingled, feeling like I'd been doused with cold water. "I'm not." I murmured.

"Of course, you are. It's very clear. Just like your mother." he shook his head with disappointment.

"Who is my mother?" I asked again.

He shook his head once more, while my desperation grew and my lower lip trembled. "I just want the truth, I promise. I promise to leave and never come back," I sobbed, covering my mouth with my left hand to stifle the next outburst.

He leaned his head back against the sofa's backrest, letting out a deep, loud sigh. "Yes, Grace. I was from Dauntless, third on the list, and became the leader of the intelligence center. I met your mother, born in Dauntless, a clumsy girl who confessed to being Divergent and feared being discovered." he shrugged.

"Why did you come here? At what point did Dauntless stop being safe?" I wiped my tears again.

"It was never safe. You never have your life assured; my mistake was falling in love. Years later, we found out you were coming, and things got complicated. The current leader of Dauntless, Max, was pursuing your mother, but she refused. With that bastard's influence, we felt cornered. He was willing to kill us, so we waited for you to be born to fake your death and flee to Amity." his gaze showed pain, his jaw clenched. "I arrived here with you in my arms. Your mother promised to arrive the following week, but she never came."

"Did she die?" I asked.

"I hope so. I never went back to check," he looked away at the wall.

"What is her name?" I asked again.

His gaze pierced my soul once more, looking at me intensely as he debated whether to give me that kind of information.

"Don't look for her. Finding my file was a mistake; you should have thrown it away. Searching for your mother will only make you a threat in Dauntless; I assure you they already know you have that in your hands," he pointed to his file. "Throw it away, stay under the radar, and keep your guard up. Avoid Max if he tries to talk to you," he instructed.

I bit my lower lip, avoiding his gaze and fiddling with my fingers.

"Grace, what ranking do you have now?" he asked.

"I'm number 1... And I already talked to him."

His face hardened with anger.

"I had no idea; I want to be a leader, and I already have that position secured. Everything would have been different if you had just told me the truth."

He ran his hands over his face, desperate and annoyed by my way of handling my stay in Dauntless. "It's your problem now," he released his anger, shaking his head in disappointment at my behavior. "If they ask, you'll be. Dauntless enough to resist and say that I died. I'm too old for this."

"Who is my mother?" I asked again.

"Are you going to look for her?" he asked.

"No, I promise," I nodded. "I just want to know," I smiled, a small smile calming his demeanor.

He sighed with a grimace. "Freya Person."

I dropped the corners of my lips, the smile fading completely from my face and my expression turning to a frown, waiting for a reaction from him, hoping he might retract.

"Freya?" I whispered.

He nodded slowly, also furrowing his brow slightly at my reaction. He could see my feet freezing three meters away from him, causing me to fall to the ground as my lower lip trembled.

"Do you know her?" he asked calmly.

From having my gaze lost, I searched for his, swallowing confusion and nodding.

"Freya, is that Freya with brown eyes, at least 35 years old, and brown hair?"

"She's your mother, Grace. You look a lot like her," he said with a grimace. "So she's still alive, right?" he smiled ironically, devoid of any humor.

"She's Max's wife, she's the leader of the faction," I swallowed hard. "Now everything makes sense," I smiled in the same way.

"What makes sense?" he inquired.

"She knows who I am," a lump formed in my throat. "She supports the initiates a lot, she shelters us in a maternal way. Norman, I'm the first Amity to go to Dauntless in almost five years; that caught her attention."

"Tell me you didn't tell her my name," he demanded.

"I did tell her, that's why she acted that way from the moment I told her my name. She went very pale when I mentioned the surname Cyprian."

My father stood up, surprised and angry, sighing with a "it can't be" in between. He paced around the room.

I was disoriented, embarrassed, and scared, so much so that I couldn't foresee his hands grabbing me by the shoulders, lifting me up, and slamming me against the door.

"Who else asked you about me?" he gritted through his teeth.

My heart pounded hard; I blinked several times, trying to analyze his question and his behavior.

"Only her." I replied.

"What did you talk to Max about?"

"I entered a simulation, and a bullet went through my shoulder. He got me a medication for quick healing, and he told me that if I continued like this, the benefits would come with it. He wants me to be a leader so that the son of a born doesn't become one."

He let go abruptly, spun on his heel still angry as he paced around the house. My pulse was still racing, trying to understand everything that had just happened. I couldn't even begin to comprehend the fact that Freya was my mother or that Norman had truly been in Dauntless.

"Don't go near her, avoid talking about me at all costs, never tell her what you know," he warned.

"But..."

"But nothing, Grace. Don't you see it yet? She married the man who tried to kill her, she got rid of you and me to become a leader. She knows you're her daughter from the moment you told her your name because she chose it, and even knowing that you're alive, she prefers to ignore it. Making yourself more evident will only make you a threat to her and Max, they'll kill us both."

A tear ran down my cheek as the overwhelming emotional shock formed a lump in my throat, along with the feeling of suffocation and tightness in my heart.