Everyone has their happy place. For me, any place could be a happy place if there was water, but there was nothing like coming home to the water I was raised on. After all, the cure to anything was salt water.

I dipped my board below another small rolling wave, then paddled further out to the break. A little ways down the shoreline, a teenage couple laughed their way into the water with their boards tucked under their arms, throwing themselves to the waves with carefree, reckless abandon. Way too much energy for this early in the morning. I groaned to myself and turned away, diving under another wave.

To say that I had hit self-destruct on my "relationship" with Atlas was an understatement. There was no sugar coating it - it fucking hurt, but what hurt even more was knowing he felt the same way. There was no talking each other out of the reality of our situation, even if there was the smallest part of me that wanted it. No matter how connected we felt in the lustful haze of our late nights, when the morning came, the light seemed to sever it all.

The only relationship either of us were in was the one we had with our careers, and we were faithful partners to them. It was a bitter truth that I could taste on my tongue, no matter how hard I tried to swallow it down. The only thing I could do now was minimize the blast radius, which meant keeping our night in Miami to myself and trying to move forward.

The teenagers' laughter carried on the quiet morning air, snapping my head in their direction again. I ducked under another rolling wave. When I realized no wave would be good enough for me this morning, I knew my focus had been completely derailed and I wouldn't be getting anything productive done on the water. I paddled myself back to the beach and gathered my things, stomping back along the sand to the walkway.

I was making grilled cheese when my phone buzzed on my kitchen countertop. I almost hesitated to check it at first, not because I was afraid of who it would be, but rather knowing and understanding who it wouldn't be and inevitably being disappointed. Sam whined at my feet for a piece of cheese, and after succumbing to puppy eyes I finally checked my phone.

ERIKA SALDUTTI: NEW BABY!! Come see!! I'll be at the conservatory until 4.

My heart lifted in my chest. Out of all the people it could have been, seeing Erika Saldutti's name on my phone washed a wave of relief over me, even though I hadn't spoken to her in months. Hearing from Erika only meant good news, and I was in desperate need of some.

I gave half of my sandwich to Sam, scarfing down the other half as I bolted outside to my Jeep. It was only noon, so I stopped for another latte at Island Provisions before getting on the highway and driving the half hour up to San Clemente.

I'd done my physical therapy up there at a clinic specializing in sports injuries, and my doctor at the time mentioned in passing that the Briggs Institute, a local oceanic conservatory, was looking for summer volunteers, and after wandering into their facility one day after a particularly grueling session, Erika found me near tears sitting in front of the shark exhibit. She pointed out Gus, who was a young lemon shark that the conservatory rescued after being beached with plastic wrapped around his snout. He had a disfigured jaw and had trouble regrowing lost teeth, which explained why he was alone and didn't belong to a school. The conservatory didn't feel comfortable releasing him back into the wild knowing he would have a hard time hunting and feeding, as well as finding a mate. But as Erika was quick to point out, Gus recovered given the right kind of care. The irony wasn't lost on me.

I'd gone back after my next therapy session and volunteered for the summer, with Erika as my supervisor. Now, she mostly just kept me updated on the animals, including still-thriving Gus.

He was the first shark I saw in the tank after walking into the shark exhibit, and every time I went there it was like I had stepped into another dimension. All the noise of the world was sucked into a vacuum, and ripples of water and fish threw shadows to the walls, casting a blue-ish glow on everything. A happy place was anywhere with water, but the Briggs Institute was like injecting serotonin directly into my veins.

Gus did another loop around the tank, and I felt myself smile as I waved to him. I lowered myself down onto one of the benches in front of the tank and just...watched. A manta ray glided along the sandy bottom floor of the tank, and other smaller colorful fish darted in and out of the reef habitat that lined most of the tank. Lemon sharks grew to be about ten feet long, but normally in controlled environments where they're fed regularly, they get used to a schedule so they don't typically prey on other animals in the tank. With Gus's crooked little smile, it almost seemed like he wasn't even capable of it.

"Hey girl!"

Erika appeared from a doorway by the tank and swooped me into a hug. The smell of fish and salt water rose above her flowery perfume, but it was a welcome familiar scent.

"It's so great to see you, it's been a while," I said, returning her squeeze.

"Yeah, well we can't all be off chasing world championships," Erika grinned as she pulled away. She paused and kept her hands on my shoulders. "You look good, Sav. Really, I mean it."

"Thanks," I shrugged sheepishly. I nodded up towards the tank. "Gus looks good, too."

Erika squealed in delight. "Oh, Gus has been very busy. Come see, come see!"

Before I knew it, Erika was pulling on my hand and bringing me into the hallways behind the tanks, where there were more private tanks and places for the conservatory to keep animals that were still hurt, healing, or needed their own space. All the way at the back of the hallway was a room for the sharks. Erika and I had done some serious soul bearing over these tanks, and even though there were animals here that were made to feel dangerous, it was a place I'd felt the safest.

"This is Coco," Erika gestured to the tank at a smaller lemon shark, only identifiable from the yellow hue of the skin down her back. "Coco came to us about right after you left that summer. As soon as we put her in the same tank as Gus, he was obsessed with her. Well, fast forward two years and Coco had a baby. Gus's baby."

"No way," I chuckled, peering further into the tank, where Coco glided slowly along the surface. The tank was sectioned in half by a glass wall, and on the other side of the wall was another much smaller shark, who swam around earnestly.

"Yep," Erika continued with a proud grin. "Coco loved him for all his fucked-up-ness. And look at him now. With the right kind of love and care, he's thriving. That applies to mostly all living creatures."

The irony wasn't lost on me...again. I scoffed. "Thank you, wise shark mother."

"Are you sure you're doing okay?" Erika raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I'm fine. I mean...I mean I could be doing better I guess, but...." I let out a heavy sigh, reminding myself how safe I truly felt in that room, listening to the tanks hum and sharks glide across the water. "Actually, I did need to hear that."

"What's bothering you?"

"I just...I'm nervous that I'm never going to get back to the way I was. Like..." I swallowed hard. "What if I've hit my ceiling? What if I can't do the things I used to anymore?"

Erika walked over to me and slung her arm around my shoulder, gently leading us out of the tank room and to the back hallways. "I think you're gonna be just fine, Sav."

She walked us back out to the shark exhibit, where Gus was still swimming back and forth just above the reef. A little school of tiny yellow fish mirrored his movements.

"Gus survived despite his physical problems." Erika smiled up at him. "His teeth aren't regenerating the way they should be, but it doesn't stop him from using his other teeth, and using them well."

I nodded with a sigh.

"And just because you might not be able to do some things you used to, that doesn't mean you're not good at the things you can do."

I turned my attention back to Gus. "You know, I always knew me and Gus had a bond."

Erika laughed. "Sure, Sav. Sure you did."

We spent a little bit more time in the shark exhibit, and Erika caught me up on some of the other animals that had come into the conservatory lately. I caught her up on some of my recent surf events and current standings, taking care to avoid any mention of my extracurriculars at said events.

When I was getting ready to leave, I took one last look back at Gus, who I swore was grinning.

i'm at home, i'm waitin' on ya
drove all the way from california
i'm at home, i'm waitin' on ya
i knew i couldn't live without ya

california / the band camino

hi yes this was a random ✨filler✨ chapter that came to me in a vision yesterday because why the hell wouldn't sav have a relationship with a shark at a conservatory??? sharks are very misunderstood, be nicer to the ocean & all its creatures! this was also half-inspired by my first trip to the georgia aquarium a few years ago - i was having a pretty tough time, and i just sat in the one room with all the giant whale sharks, and calm music was playing, and i instantly felt more at ease just watching them.

anyway gus x coco is a valid ship okay.

also if you dropped 'baby shark dodododo' comments, here is where you put your apologies. i forgive you. sort of.