FOURTEEN
Eddie stretched, his long limbs cracking and complaining. He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck which was beginning to ache unpleasantly. The sun beat down upon them through the cracks of the trees, its light splayed across the apparently deserted court. He flinched at the sudden pain that coursed through his bad arm, he winced and tried to ignore if.
"Jay" he said, but Jay didn't hear him. "Jay!" He rose his voice and Jay lifted his head, concern flooding his features.
The same afternoon sun cast the outside courts in a golden glow, the red court appeared as a burnt orange beneath the bright white of Eddie's new trainers. Jay was seemingly distracted by it. A pleasant breeze filtered through the branches of one of the trees that lined the court. Jay winced as the breeze hit him in the face, a small smile filled Eddie's face at the sight.
"Yeah?" He finally responded, he too rose his voice a few octaves to be heard clearly, then he strode over to where Eddie held his good arm to his forehead. "You alright mate? I was just about to load up the machine again". Eddie was filled an urgent panic at the thought, yet he kept his face stoic. Something he had trained himself to do so that others wouldn't worry.
"I think I've had enough" he said, looking to the side at him. Eddie's eyes drifted from Jay's slowly developing expression of realisation. Jay could always see right through him. "I think I'm going to go take a break in the rest room and-"
Concern suddenly flashed over Jay's normally quite calm face, Eddie winced, hating it when people worried about him. When Eddie forced himself to look up against his better judgement, his coach and friend had stepped closer instantly, folding his arms and staring at Eddie emphatetically, his steely eyes searching Eddie's blank expression.
"It's your arm isn't it?"
"No" he lied, too quickly, as the previous wound began to silently throb. He grit his teeth slightly; hoping for it to go unnoticed if he was sly about it ,and shook his head, not meeting Jay's watching look as he spoke, face flushing. "N-no, I'm just tired is all. You're always saying I need to take more b-breaks".
"Very true..." Jay agreed, yet his tone sounded uncertain and unconvinced. "Okay, you go...clean yourself up in the break room, I've got some paperwork waiting for me on my desk. I'll take the rackets and balls back first though".
Eddie nodded and Jay followed him into the tennis centre. He kept his aching arm close to his body as he managed to manoeuvre his way through the awaiting door. He waved at Jay with his good arm, and wondered down to the supply/rest room where he knew he could find medical equipment.
When he was sure Jay was gone, he began to hoist up the long sleeves that he wore to conceal the cluster of burn shaped scars, the harsh shiny red skin, the everlasting blisters that ran up his arms and disappeared at his collarbone, and the greying bandages that were wrapped around by him in the hopes of concealing what he had started to hate looking at.
His hands began to shake, fingers quivering uselessly as the pain coursed through him, the sight making him feel weak and hopeless. Footsteps echoed down the corridor, quick and hurried, but he didn't notice, too wrapped up in his actions.
"JESSIE!" Peter yelled somewhere nearby. Eddie, grown so used to the antics of Jessie's twin brother, merely even stopped what he was doing to acknowledge the panic that Peter always possessed. He could then hear Jay talking somewhere and heard his voice growing distant. He took this as an opportunity to grip at the worn material that he had woven haphazardly across the harshly blushed and raised skin.
He gasped at the action. Grtting his teeth. His honeying hair fell in front of his face as he catapulted his torso forward from the spikes of pain that enlightened his nerve endings, stabbing his spine and tingiling his back unpleasantly. Eddie shivered.
"Jesus" he said between gritted teeth. A thin layer of agitated sweat forming on his brow from both his frustration at the situation and his body's natural reaction to trying to rid itself of something.
Oblivion was sweet. And he didn't even hear the one thing that would cause him more pain than ever approaching so scarily close to the door frame.
Eddie gasped as his harsh fingertips skimmed the tender skin when he misplaced his touch. The floorboards creaked and the used bandage in his hand slipped slightly in his fingers as he looked up, eyes widening.
Jessie stepped into the room, dressed in a short denim skirt and the usual tennis uniform shirt, she was quick in closing the door behind her. Eddie watched her actions with tensed-up shoulders, eyebrows raising as she let go of the handle. His gaze lifted back to where she was watching him and he felt himself freeze, this was the first time they'd looked at each other properly in months.
"J-Jessie?" He stuttered over his words, blinking uncertainly. "Oh-oh my god, I-" he scrambled with his bandages, trying to hide the scars, marks and healing wounds that littered his flesh. She watched him with curious dark eyes, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
"Eddie" she said, her voice not sounding liked her own as it squeaked his name out. "Eddie, please!".
He paused in his actions, turning to look at her through the gaps in his hair from where he had lowered his head again. She noted that he looked confused and torn as for what to do and what to say.
She took a deep breath, but felt nothing but numb as she stepped forward, eyes loitering over the half hidden rough scarlet skin. Eddie watched her painfully, he felt everything that he always had for her but all at once which was almost overwhelming. He still felt awful for making her this way and remained unsure of what to do or why she was here. Her presence graced the room with petrichor, brought on by the morning's period of rain, with a slight hint of tobacco.
"Let me" she said, stopping not too far in front of him. She looked up from the collection of partially contained wounds and met his eyes again, his brows furrowed and he appeared aghast at the request.
"What?! No!"
"Why?"
"W-what do you mean why? D-don't be r-ridiculous Jess, you know god damn well why" his voice broke at the end and he wrapped his fingers around the harsher wounds to hide them from her prying eyes. He was physically and metaphorically an Egyptian mummy, half hidden by aged bandages, but also hiding himself from her, trying to appear detached and unattached.
"Look Eddie, I saw you come in here and...it's been so long. I wanted to see you. I...I miss you" she looked from his arms to his eyes, the blueness swimming with concern and misunderstanding. His breath however, hitched slightly from her close proximity and the words spoken, but still he shook his head.
"This is bad. This is really, really bad. I'm not...I'm not good for you. You know that"
"It's not you, it's my head. And right now I seem fine. Please just let me help you" she stretched her hands out and he flinched, leaning away from her and cradling his arm, still throbbing with pain, to his chest.
"Please Eddie" she whispered, words thick with emotion. "I promise I'll be okay. I just want to help you".
He looked at her uncertainly. Eyes searching her pleading ones. He was suddenly reminded of how beautiful she was; missing out the finer details from where he spent the last few months watching her from afar. Like the dusting of brown-sugar freckles on her nose; or the loose tight ringlets that framed her face, the faint scar at the base of her chin, the many many shades to her deep and never ending eyes. He gulped but she said nothing.
"You won't tell Peter?"
"When do I tell Peter anything?" A small ghost of a smile graced her mocha lips and he too found his lips wanting to twitch at the thought. It was true.
"As long as you're sure, Jessie"
She nodded and took the new bandages from where they lay in unrolled heaps around him. She lowered her head, offering her hand out, he bit his lip and slowly lifted his arm up for her to caress tenderly.
"The ointment's in my bag"
She nodded wordlessly, briefly releasing his brandished skin to fish the shiny white tube from his bag, she placed it on the counter beside him.
Retaking his arm and, once she had finished studying it intensely, she began to remove the greying bandages, gradually and carefully. Eddie scrunched up his eyes and she looked up momentarily, feeling her heart ache for the boy sat in front of her, she focused back in on the task and cautiously removed the long strip of bandage from his bad arm.
His eyes opened and he breathed out, the cold air hitting the exposed rawness of the whole wound. She couldn't look away if she tried, transfixed on the way the skin looked in trying to heal itself yet being so undeniably broken, a fresh layer of skin curling around the wound yet being unsuccessful and cracking in places, the rough damaged skin peeling and shining through the lines of fresh skin like a warning light.
Jessie brought her head up slowly to find Eddie already watching her intently. He was close enough that she could feel his heavy breathing misting on her cheek. She pressed her lips together in a line and felt herself unconsciously leaning forward towards him so that there was only centimetres between them.
She could detect, from his body language, that he was insecure and conscious about the marks, always covering them up or suffocating them in miles and miles of flimsy fabric bandages. Only to cause more strain and more pain as a result. She kept their proximity closer still as she unwrapped the fabric of the other arm, being more swift about it as it was his better arm, but gentle none the less.
Curious and deep clouded eyes looked at her like she was the greatest thing in the world as she smiled gently.
"They're beautiful" .
He frowned. Breaking the intensity of their shared look.
"What are?" He glanced around the room and she chuckled, shaking her head.
"Your..." she paused, the next words shaky. "Your b-burns" she looked down then felt the need to clarify more. "Your skin is fighting with itself to heal".
Eddie laughed softly, the sound making her smile but causing her heart break at the same time. It sounded like the sort of laugh where you have disbelief in yourself but someone points out the good in you, like for example, how when Peter pointed out that the small mole that she hated and was not noticeable on her chin, looked like half a smiley face when put with her scar. Her heart broke because this was something Eddie did a lot.
"I've never thought about them like that before"
She fought with herself to say "I know" feeling the moisture creep into the corner of her eyes. How could he not see himself for what he was? She blinked them away.
Her soft fingers rubbed in the cream, letting it sink into the shiny stretch of where the fire had skimmed him. Eddie gasped, biting his lip as she worked on his bad arm, she shushed him comfortingly, encouraging him through it. She always hated seeing him in pain, even when he just used to catch himself on the door to the office, she always went to his aid.
However, Eddie did reopen his eyes when the throbbing subsided, feeling the pain begin to drift as she switched to his better arm. He watched her and was reminded of all the times she would make him climb up to the roof with her and how one time he scrapped his leg on the wall and she fussed over it.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked, voice soft, barely above a whisper and light as he watched her work with the bandages, winding them carefully around his arms. Looser than he did, he notes.
"I told you Ed, I miss you. I saw an opportunity and I took it"
"That's not the meds talking?" He asked, having noted the slight increased size of her pupils when she had gotten closer to him. She shook her head in response.
"No. I just...I was going to talk to you but it's funny...I can't think of anything to say"
"I seem to have that affect on people" she stopped what she was doing after securing the end of one strip of bandage and frowned at him. "People always look at me and think 'wow, the greatest tennis player this centre has to offer' then they meet me and it's like 'oh'". He smiled sadly into his lap, his cheeks tingling pink.
"No one has ever met you and said 'oh'" she smiled and he glanced up from his lap. "I know you can win this Eddie, burns or no burns, you're made of strong stuff". She was confident in her words. Jessie resumed her winding of fabric around the other arm, switching back and forth as she layered them up.
"I missed you too" he mumbled suddenly, cutting the silence that settled after her little moment of encouragement.
"I'm sorry?"
"I missed you too.." he repeated, louder this time. "A whole lot actually" he looked up at her again, she dropped her hands, finished. "What's tennis without my cheerleader?" He said and she felt her chest tighten as a smile graced his lips.
Hey, maybe it was the meds; maybe it was taking the situation and placing it in a different scenario, maybe it was the talk of good times and the promising future of it all. But something pushed her to lean even closer until she could admire the dusting of faint brown freckles around his eyes.
Their lips brushed delicately, like a shy, yet broken work of art. Ready to be put to work properly on canvas and explore it's true potential.
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