Over again
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(A/N: just letting yall know its kinda like a journal entry of both sides. there will be actuall pov but im not really that good at those but i am trying)

Alyssa 4/2/2018-
Ive loved him forever. People might say "you dont know him" but i do. Ive learned that what you give some people wont give back. I love him. He doesnt. Atleast....i dont think he does.

Johnnie 4/2/2018-
I think I love her. I think i have ever since i layed eyes on her. Shes gorgeous. I know i dont know her but i still love her. People say loves a strong word. Really its not, people are just scared to love.

Alyssa 4/3/2018-
Why is everything so difficult? Do you like me or not? Do you love me or not? Do you want to be with me or not? I love him so much i cant let go. I dont want to let go. Does he? I cant ask him. What if i ask him and he laughs or he just looks at me like im dumb. I cant have that. So ill wait as long as i have to.

Johnnie 4/3/2018-
Does she like me? I dont know. I want to ask her. I want to hold her and kiss her and have her be mine. I know some people think its dumb for guys to have a journal. Not for me. Its the only place I can talk about her. Nobody to judge me. The paper wont judge.Im going to ask her out tomorrow. Hopefully she says yes.

Alyssa 4/4/2018-
HE ASKED ME OUT!!! Im so exited i cant wait. We have a date tomorrow so i better get sleep.

Johnnie 4/4/2018-
She said yes! Im so exited for our date tomorrow. I know we are only 17 but ive liked her since bryan introduced us. I better get sleep.

Alyssa 5/7/2015-
Me and johnnie have been dating for about a month now.we got into a fight. Our real first fight. I forgot what it was about. Hes mad at me. I think i messed up. I cant even remember what it was about. Just he was mad for some reason. Why am i such a mess up?

Johnnie 5/7/2015-
We had our first real fight. I was mad. How could she keep this from me? I cant write it in here. I probably overreacted but it was something huge. I dont know what to do........

Alyssa 5/9/2015-
He broke up with me. Im crying so hard i might pass out. I cant believe it. Im moving out tonight and going to LA. and leaving everyone behind. I know i shouldn't but i have to. I have friends there. Colby,sam, and jake they said i could stay with them for a while. Thats what im going to do.

Johnnie 5/9/2015-
I broke up with her. It was hard but i had too. I miss her already. Bryan told me shes moving. He didnt tell me where though. Saying she didnt want me to know. And i get that. I broke up with her......

Alyssa 7/10/2016
Its been a year now. I miss him so much. My finger has hovered over his contact wanting to call or text him. My friends tell me not to. That its bad for me. I need to move on. I know i do. But i cant. I just miss him so much.

Johnnie 7/11/2016
I miss her so fucking much. Its only been a year. I know i broke up with her. I just cant stop thinking about her. I want her. I need her. I miss her smile, her laugh, her kisses, just her in general. Ive thought about calling her, But I dont have the courage to. What if shes mad at me? What if she hates me now? Will she even still love me? Does she still like me? I miss her........

Alyssa 7/28/2016
I cant anymore. I have to call him. I need to call him. Ive tried ignoring my feeling but i cant anymore. There eatting at me. I miss everything about him. His laugh, his smile, his touch, his hugs, the way he smelt. I still have it all in my mind. I know i shoudnt but i cant stop. Im going to call him.....

Johnnie 7/28/2016
She called me! I answered so fast i thought i was going to hang up. Her voice was so soothing. It calmed me down. She sounded sad when she told me. She told me that she did it. She told me it died. I was sad but i tryed cheering her up, but it was no use through the phone. I wanted to hold her. When she told me it died i almost cried. She still loved me. She told me. She said she missed me.....Ive missed her too. Thats what i told her.

Alyssa 7/29/2016
I called him. He answered and i was glad. I had told him. Finally. I was scared he would get mad again. He didnt. He tried comforting me. It worked a little. I had also told him i missed him. He missed me too. Hes not mad at me anymore which is good. I think he didnt care that It had died. I wouldnt either if i was him, but he seemed sincere........

Johnnie 1/24/2017
Its been almost two years. Were back together. Im so happy. Shes still sad that it had died. I am too. Kinda. I wish i had stayed with her when it died. But i didnt. It wasnt her fault though. It was his. Not hers, not mine, nobodys but his. Im so angry at him, Im glad i left. Im not with them anymore.........

Alyssa 1/24/2017
2 years. Wow i didnt think we would ever get back together. I love him so much. Hes been so supportive about everything. Im better now. Im still sad that it died but im kinda happy that it did. I deserved it though. I was being "too" much. According to him. Im glad im away form all that. Im never going back. Nobody knows anything. Only johnnie. Im grateful for johnnie.

Johnnie 10/17/2018
I think its time to write this in the journal. The big argument. Now looking back. I did overreact. It wasnt her fault. She was raped. Im crying while writing this. Its horrable. She was raped by him, She had gotten pregnate. Thats why i was mad. I shouldnt have been mad. I should oh helped her. I should have been there. The baby had died. It was his baby though. I still would of helped her take care of it. But i left. I messed up. She keeps telling me its fine but i feel so shitty. I want to make it up to her so much. She said i already did. It doesnt feel like it.

Alyssa 10/18/2018
3 years of me and johnnie being together. I never thought we would make it this far. Im glad we did. Johnnie feels guilty. For leaving me. I tell him its fine he agrees but i can tell he doesntg believe me. We talked about it a couple of times. I hate talking about it. It makes me feel sick. I feel disgusting ev ery time i talk about it. He said i deserved it. I still believe Him after all these years..............................................................................................................................................

(edited)
pls vote

To be continued.