Shiina Kisaragi's POV:

"Ouch. His older sister walked in on you?"

"We weren't doing anything," I informed Kiharu for the umpteenth time. "Since I was modelling, he was taking pictures of me."

"Naked?"

"Fully clothed!"

She laughed all the while I glared.

"Sorry, sorry. Had to make sure." She nudged my arm. "C'mon. Stop acting like if things did escalate, you wouldn't be overjoyed. You two still haven't kissed, right?"

My blush must've been as plain as day because she doubled over in hysterics for the second time. Everyone in the school gymnasium could hear her, including the BB who were busy preparing for another one of their gigs. Tsumugi had gone home early, and Kiharu who'd wrapped up with soccer practice, stopped by to give me company while I waited for Banri to finish.

"Tsk, tsk. My bestie can't even get some basic action."

I slapped her to silence her guffaws.

"The guy declares his undying affection for you by the minute, buys you enormous flower bouquets, and smothers you with romantic gifts, so you'd think he'd be all over you out of the public's eye. Yet, ironically, he won't touch you. Not even to romantically hold your hand."

I pinned my focus in the distance where Banri alongside the other BB members were currently engaged in conversation with a slew of dolled up girls. They were models with legitimate experience, and they'd volunteered to promote Banri's designs for an upcoming show. Bigwigs in the fashion industry were making an appearance so they were ensuring nothing could go awry.

A hard at work Banri was a rare sight, seeing as how he typically discarded all responsibilities whenever I was in the vicinity. Those models' beauty was astounding as well. They were essentially naked, yet Banri stared at them so candidly. Spoke to them so nonchalantly.

Should I take it as a compliment? That I was a present too glamorous and tantalizing to unravel and ruin?

I'd buried and buried my frustration, but it was hard. We'd been 'dating' for two months, but not once in that time frame had we engaged in 'conventional' couple behaviour.

Once, he did allow me to kiss him on the cheek. . . and prior to going out, he held my hands frequently. Like Kiharu said, he proclaimed his undying love for me on an hourly basis, so it wasn't as if his emotions had dwindled. I'd argue they grew larger day-to-day. So, then, why?

Why won't he touch me?

"Man, the guy is dense. He has his priorities wrong. Does he consider himself your boyfriend or sugar daddy?"

"Kiharu."

Snorting, she hoisted herself to her feet. "Well, you are each other's first relationships, so there's bound to be ups and downs. Perk up, girl. His love for you is authentic. Ask anyone. Anyway, I hate to do this, but I've gotta run home before my brothers get back from practice and empty the fridge. See you tomorrow?"

"See you," I said.

She departed with a consoling squeeze to the shoulder.

I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

Ups and downs, huh?

Was this and that related?

I didn't doubt Banri's love. I loved him, too.

Was it a fundamental problem, then?

Was I not good-looking enough? He interacted with attractive people all the time. Individuals way out of my league—that a tomboy like me could never hope to compare to.

If Banri caught wind of these thoughts, he'd scold me vehemently. But, I wasn't a model. I didn't wear make-up, didn't get my hair or nails all done up, neglected skincare routines more times than I'd like to admit. Before interacting with Banri, my wardrobe consisted of dark colours and lazy alternatives. In that regard, Banri, a boy who engaged in all things 'beauty', was more feminine than me. He rocked the colour pink better than I ever could.

Should I put more effort into my appearance? If I did, would he be into me more? Enough to be all over me?

He was already into me a ton, yet I here I was, yearning for more. What a conceited girlfriend I was.

"Kisa!"

Banri's shout jolted me to the core. I jerked up in time to spot him dash across the room. Upon arriving, he clasped his palms together in apology.

"Sorry! I'm running behind schedule."

Stumbling to my feet, I said, "Is everything all right?"

"Nothing for my goddess to worry about." He flashed a heart-stopping smile. "We have to go over a few more things, then I'll be able to return to your side. Can you wait for me a while longer?"

When he said things like that—looked at me so affectionately—all these egocentric thoughts and uncertainties vanished.

The heat that blossomed in its stead burned my skin.

"O-okay," I replied, fidgeting. "But. . ."

Why was I waiting for him to make the first move? Continuously feeling uneasy, when my love for him threatened to burst every waking minute. It wasn't like me to be a coward. I could do it. Silence these foolish ideas here and now.

"What's the matter, Kisa?" I barely heard him over my hammering heartbeat. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything I can get you?"

I bumbled forward; promptly closed the distance between us. Clutching the lapel of his blazer, and irregardless of my obvious blush, I stared deeply into his vibrant pink eyes.

". . .A kiss."

Banri didn't move. He stared at me, unblinking, face flaring a cardinal red. His uneven breathing stirred the tiny hairs on my neck, sending shivers through every inch of my body. I said it. He couldn't play ignorant. I peeked at his flushed lips, a heat of desire burning within me. His fingers twitched at the base of my back, too close for comfort but not entirely grazing. I glanced upward one more time for good measure. I'd never been this close. Each contour of his charming face I memorized anew in this suspended moment. Pressing my eyelids shut, I pushed myself higher, onto my tippy-toes.

Inches short of our lips melting together, he shoved me back by the shoulders.

It took me a hot second to come to my senses. His hold on me trembled, and his gaze darted up, down, left, right—anywhere but me. His distress was glaring.

My heart broke into pieces.

"Banri, is there a specific way you wanted this?"

A girl—one of the models—interposed. By her sheepish demeanour, I'd wager she witnessed it all.

"U. . .uh!" he said, releasing me and rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. "Y-yes! One sec!"

He scampered off to join her.

It's because you're in public—were too forward, my subconscious reasoned, not that it lessened the heartbreak.

My throat thickened.

He couldn't have made it more obvious.

"Kisaragi. Were you here the whole time? Waiting on Banri?"

I pivoted to address the boy who'd entered the gym. "Upperclassman Miyake."

The manager of the BB sighed. "I'm no longer your 'upperclassman' since I graduated last year, remember? Drop the formalities." His eyebrows knitted together. "Are you. . ."

"Yeah. Yeah, fine," I said, praying my voice wasn't as choked as it felt. I scurried past him and outside. "Tell Banri to head home without me. I—I remembered, I have band stuff to get done."