Jin Narumi's POV:

It'd been nine months since the day the prettiest girl at Hoshizaki Private Academy summoned me to the school rooftop.

I found a letter in my shoe locker about meeting her that sent my heart into overdrive. Though, when I arrived and found other familiar faces with identical letters, that delight disappeared. Worry gnawed through me. I feared I'd gotten ahead of myself. That she was going to reject me, in front of all of those boys that were far cooler and more amazing than me.

Yet, she did the exact opposite.

She always did the opposite.

Fate constantly threw me a curveball. It was nothing new.

A comment I didn't think much of at the time sent her over the edge. I fed into the rumours, insulted her as everyone else did, without stopping to think for a second about how she would feel. I had no idea what she was going through. The sight of her racing out of the classroom in a heap of tears would forever eat at me.

The guilt threw me for a loop. Even after I apologized, I didn't know how to approach her. I didn't think I could. So, I avoided her.

But, as if she couldn't take it, she confronted me. Forced me to look at her. And when we chatted and made amends, she got indescribably happy.

Being handcuffed and forced to overcome fate together seemed like a fair trade after how much I hurt her.

The feelings that bloomed because of it—I assumed they were because I viewed her as a friend. I convinced myself it was that. But, the more I convinced myself, the wronger I realized I was.

I couldn't get her out of my head. When my eyes were open and when they were closed, she was all I thought about. I fantasized hundreds of millions of scenarios, all because I had fallen in love with her.

That day on the rooftop was jarring. Like I dreamed her confession up. Concocted a world where she loved me. Where it was okay to love her.

If it was a dream, if I really was stuck in some lovestruck daze for these last nine months, I never wanted to wake up.

Except maybe now.

"Naru, it's okay. I've got you. Take it slow."

My skates slipped from underneath me. I grappled the ledge for dear life, clinging to it with my glove. Shiina held my other.

"Pfft. He can't even skate."

"Look at him shaking."

Whispers. Ridicule. I bit back my embarrassment as children half my age and adults twice my age skated around the open ice rink with ease. Among them, only I was shaky on my feet, and only I needed to hold the outer wall for balance.

I'd read all the manuals. Watched all the videos. Visualized it to memory. It shouldn't be this difficult.

"Bend your knees more." Shiina's laughter wasn't mocking. Rather, gentle. "You're going to fall."

The white beanie holding back her long hair fit snugly on her head. Her brown coat extended down to her thighs, and her gloves, thinner than mine, fit cozily around mine. Fairy lights lined the rink, a testament that Christmas was just around the corner. All the streets and stores were in the mood. I'd dressed warmly but possibly due to my fear, the temperature had significantly dropped from a few minutes ago.

"I. . . forgot how to skate, that's all," I informed her. "I'm getting used to it again. It's not like this is my first time ever skating, okay?"

"Of course," she agreed, obviously to soothe my tattered ego. "I haven't skated in a long time either. Around. . . five years?"

"Five—"

"The last time I went, my mom deserted me in the middle of the rink. She got distracted and didn't come back. I had to figure out how to get to the other side. Then, these scary old men surrounded me and offered to teach me instead. . ." She cleared her throat and smiled. "Anyway. We aren't repeating that nightmare. I'll be with you the whole time."

The more I learned about Shiina's mom, the harder it became to picture her. Some stories were touching while others left me with tons of questions.

"I wouldn't have guessed this is your second time."

"It's muscle memory," she reassured me. "Sort of like riding a bike. You don't forget once you've learned. In my case, I might have been too traumatized to forget."

Clearing her throat, she glided in front of me.

"We can start by going along the wall." She tapped it for emphasis. "I'll demonstrate how to stop and the safe way to fall. You'll be skating like a pro in no time."

I planned it to be the opposite.

For Shiina to shake with fear and cling to me while I did all the teaching. It was presumptuous considering this was my first time ice skating and Shiina was good at all sports. But, I assumed it wasn't too difficult. I walked over ice puddles all the time and rarely fell.

Dammit. She was so cool.

Cooler than me.

"Aah!"

My lungs collapsed. Shiina fumbled her balance and flailed her arms. She catapulted forward. By pure luck alone, I caught her without falling. Her arms squeezed around me, face burrowed in my chest. She heaved in relief, all the while my cheeks caught on fire. With her complexion equally as red, she craned her neck back. Her blue eyes cutely sparkled.

"S-sorry, Naru!"

And sometimes, just sometimes, she was just as clumsy as me.

"So, you're supposed to fall forward?"

"No!" she cried. "That's the last thing you should do. Don't copy what I just did—ever."

She bit her bottom lip. Her subsequent laugh squeezed my heart.

"At this rate, I'll just get us both hurt. Let's figure it out together, okay?"

All in all, she was super cute.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

With Shiina's prior experience, my knowledge, and watching others, we got the hang of it in no time. Between occasional heart attacks and awkward falls, we picked ourselves back up, laughed about it, and kept trying. Whatever bystanders muttered to themselves, or their blatant stares, had become the least of my worries. In the past, I wanted to never mess up in front of Shiina. Be a cool, knightly boyfriend. But, during moments like these, I was glad I wasn't.

I was glad I wasn't.

When the sun set behind the grey clouds, the fairy lights brightened the whole block. Reds, greens, blues, yellows. The huge Christmas tree on display outside and the animated city streets and vibrant colours were sights to behold. The city never looked more beautiful.

"My feet hurt," Shiina declared, rubbing her ankles. We returned the skates we'd rented and after grabbing some hot chocolate, found a bench in the park nearby to rest. "Is your butt okay? You fell on it a lot."

"I'm all right."

Which was a total lie. I'd never been more sore.

"Well, mine's aching," she admitted, tilting her head back and admiring our surroundings. The bright lights. The gently falling snow. "This cold bench is doing wonders."

It really was. I didn't want to get up.

"Well, at least I managed to out-skate you in the end."

"You pushed me."

"Accidentally bumped your shoulder," she corrected, grinning. "I beat you fair and square, Naru. Admit it. I'm better than you."

I squared my jaw. "You aren't."

"Sore loser," she taunted, knowing full well it'd get under my skin.

"I'm not a—"

"Next time, we'll settle it then. You should come up with excuses while you still can."

One thing about Shiina and I: we both hated to lose.

I wasn't gifted at a lot. Shiina, on the other hand, was. At sports, at cooking, at singing, playing instruments. . . ice skating. The only thing I could confidently say I had the upper hand at was academics.

That was it.

Ordinarily, losing frustrated me. I aimed for the pinnacle of success because I hated knowing there were people in this world I couldn't beat no matter how hard I worked.

Somehow, though, when it came to losing to her. . . I kind of liked it.

That sounded weird. Let me rephrase that.

If anybody had to trample me, I'd prefer it to be Shiina.

As in, Shiina could step on me and/or absolutely degrade me and I'd wholeheartedly welcome it.

Okay, I'm not helping my case.

Steam poured out of my ears at the realization. I cleared my throat, doing my best to suppress the heat creeping up my neck and ears, much to no avail.

In a hurry, I reached for my scarf. I unfurled it around my neck and wrapped it around hers. Her eyelids peeled apart.

"Naru?" she sputtered. "What are you—"

"Wear it," I cut her off—praying it'd derail my absurd thoughts. "It's—cold."

"I'm okay," she said. "Besides, aren't you—"

"Fine! Couldn't be hotter!"

Which wasn't a lie. It felt like I was broiling in a furnace, essentially melting the snow around me.

"Forget about me. You're still not feeling your best, right?" I added, desperate to switch the topic.

"That was weeks ago." Snorting, she unwrapped the scarf. "I'm perfectly healthy now. I have been. Because of you."

"Me?"

"You took care of me." Distracted as I was, I hardly noticed her swing it back around my shoulders. "When I needed you most, you were there for me. If you hadn't been there, I can't even imagine what would've happened."

"Y-you're exaggerating."

She laughed at my dumbstruck reaction.

"I'm not," she insisted. "Also, you need this more than I do." Her bare hands met my cheeks. "You're freezing."

Even the tiniest of things she did left me speechless. She always destroyed my composure.

"Today really was worth it." Her smile grew. "Look at me. I get to hold the whole world in my hands."

My eyebrows furrowed together. What was she talking about?

"That's impossible."

Dumb as it was, it took me several seconds before I interpreted the true meaning behind her words.

When it finally did settle in, my entire face went up in flames. She was holding me. I was the whole world.

Shiina's loving smile made suppressing my maddening blush even harder.

"Th-that was—cheap," I stuttered.

She squealed. "You're so cute."

My heart betrayed me by throbbing. "I-I know somebody a lot cuter."

Whether or not she heard my discreet whisper was beyond me. Because, as the coolness of her palms and our proximity registered anew, I lost my train of thought. My pulse strayed offbeat. Suddenly I couldn't break away from Shiina's mesmerizing eyes. Snowflakes continued to trickle around us. Some landed on her hair, perched on her nose, and melted straightaway.

I'd heard that no two snowflakes were ever the same. Considering how many fell around the world, it was amazing. Even if they initially started off side by side, they'd float through different clouds, different temperatures, different levels of moisture, and eventually end up a unique shape and size. In that sense, their distinctive journeys to the ground was a depiction life while the snowflakes themselves represented human beings. By the time they reached the ground, or discovered the warmth of a living creature, they disappeared entirely.

What am I thinking about at a time like this?

"I'm trying to figure out what's going through your mind right now." Shiina's words zapped me back to the present. Fighting a grin, she creased her eyebrows. "Why do you suddenly look so serious?"

Exhaling heavily, I slumped into the bench.

"Snowflakes are ephemeral."

"Oh so we're using big words now?"

My lips peeled upwards. "They're temporary." On the rink, under the backup lights illuminating the ice, people skated back and forth. Families. Couples. "They go down their own paths. Some fall faster. Some, slower. Some meet along the way. Then, in the blink of an eye, their journeys are over. They melt and disappear. They're easily forgotten since there are so many to take their place. But, in reality, no two snowflakes are identical. They're all unique because of their individual journeys. They can't be replaced. But they're gone before you get to appreciate any of that."

Evidently, Shiina was still trying to wrap her head around whatever I rambled.

"I thought the concept of "love" was superficial until we met—in that kind of way," I explained, to give her short-circuiting brain a chance to catch up. "I got it lucky at the orphanage I was left at. The current director is nice, as you know. The other kids aren't bad either. But, so many people have come and gone in my life. Some of us get lucky enough to be adopted or go to foster homes. Some of us don't. The directors change, too. From an early age, I learned not to get too attached. To anyone or anything. It goes without saying I didn't get to experience a lot of things either—things people usually take for granted. Like, being loved."

She squeezed my hand. "Naru."

"I didn't think anybody would ever love me," I admitted, the crack of my voice reaching my ears. "The constant kind. Like how families are supposed to. For years I wanted to give my biological family the benefit of the doubt. Tried to convince myself that they threw me away for a good reason. But that isn't true. They didn't love me. When you say it, and even when you don't say it, it's completely different. It's so different I can cry. It's like, after all these years, it finally makes sense. That this is what it is. It's so precious. Something I never want to let go of."

I couldn't be more pathetic. Whimpering the way I was. Ruining a lighthearted moment with an unnecessary sob story.

"I always wondered why you chose me."

"There—"

"—And exactly like that, you'll tell me there isn't a reason. That you love me because I'm me. I hated being me. It was because I was me my mom yelled what she did and threw me away. It was because I was me people would take pity on me or push me around. It was because I was me I'd feel so alone. I doubt you can understand how hard it is to love yourself when the universe desperately tries to give you thousands of reasons not to."

Shiina, who'd been quietly listening up until that point, shook her head.

"I'm not saying I get where you're coming from," she started, gently. "Of course I don't. Our circumstances are totally different. But, I do know that it's hard. I felt so alone when I started high school. Things at home were rocky. My mom was gone and there was somebody that was trying to take her place. On top of that, I hated coming to school. Because, while I sat alone, and ate lunch alone, I'd see people hanging out with their friends while I had none at all. I'd just be made fun of, actually, just for being me. It hurt a lot. I looked down and cried a lot. At some point, I started believing the horrible things they said. I convinced myself that I was meant to be alone. Dumb as that sounds now."

I had to be one of the reasons behind that.

"I was doing myself a disservice by thinking that way," she added, flashing that dazzling smile of hers. "I didn't realize it until somebody, quite literally, knocked some sense into me. If I didn't love myself and my flaws, how could I expect other people to? How could I expect anyone to accept me when I couldn't even accept myself? Although it was hard, I decided to stop being afraid to be myself. I decided to properly face the things around me head-on. From there. . . things kind of fell into place? I got to know so many amazing people. And the more I learned about them, the funner school came to be, and the more I looked forward to seeing them every day. The world became much more colourful and vibrant. It was fate how all of it tumbled into place. It was also fate how close the two of us got."

She stared deeply into my eyes.

"Like we promised, for whatever each of us is lacking in, we'll be there for each other to make up for it. None of this is temporary, okay, Naru? I'll literally love you until you get sick of me."

Her exasperation set off all the warning signals in my brain.

"Um. Are you angry with me?"

"Very," she answered. "That was super insensitive of you, thinking I'd mercilessly ditch you someday. Now, and in the future, you have me. You will have me."

"I understand. I'm sorry."

Looking as if she didn't believe me, she buried her frustration behind a groan. Clenching my scarf, and successfully dragging me forward, she leaned in. Like the gentle snowfall, her soft lips melted into mine. Tingles shot up my spine.

"I love you, Naru."

She pursed her mouth, clearly anticipating my response. However, seconds from succumbing to cardiac arrest, I averted my gaze, scrambling for a breath.

"I-I," I murmured, complexion bleeding red, "l-love you too."

"Again."

"I l-love y-you t-too."

"Is that really how you feel?"

Cheeks hot, I squeezed my eyelids shut, nodding. "P-plus, a-all the endorphins and serotonin and dopamine—"

"What?"

Before I could translate the drunken high of my feelings as a result of her surprise kiss, she burst into laughter.

The empty part of me that never got to experience any of this. My current reality which was full of it. I thought I'd be alone forever. Going through life with negative sentiments and regrets. Never loving or being loved.

With her, I experienced a lot of firsts.

There was a lot more we had yet to experience together.

"Yuck," spat a random lady, watching this all unfold from a distance. "Just hurry up and get married and put me out of my misery."

THE END