A soulmate AU. 

This chapter is very specifically AsaNao. Like, I've written them as genfic readable in the entire main story, but you can't do that here. They're very much in love in this chapter. And no, there's no happy ending here either. 

Sorry. Not sorry. I really liked writing this chapter. It's very self-indulgent. The inspiration for this chapter is this song I've put up there ^ Listen to it after reading this chapter if you would like to cry. 

Nao didn't come from a world of soulmates, but when he learned what they were, he wondered why he had any at all.

Everyone had a soulmate, or two, or three.

"Half of them are usually platonic, a few of them would give you a bond that transcends anything else, but only one of them is the one you'll love forever," Ms Sakurai told him, "that's how it's usually said. Of course, that's just the blanket explanation— every human connection varies."

Soulmates existed, not for romantic reciprocation, but to ensure you always have people by your side to lead you onward. Nao was accustomed to being alone. He was living on borrowed time, surviving for no real reason— so truthfully, he didn't need any soulmates.

He felt sorry for the ones that were stuck with him.

He didn't know how to live for someone else.

(No one had ever lived for him.)

Nao's bonds were something he treasured— the kanji for Liberty closed directly over his already inordinate heart, promising something eternal— and yet, Kazane threw him aside for a man whose red string connected to hers.

You're not supposed to tear it apart like that, people always assured him, as he grew up with an ache in his heart that made him too sick to lift his head some days. Consent is important when parting your circle. Your sister was a terrible, inconsiderate woman.

But Nao longed to be her.

Nao longed to be full of dreams and life, capable of selfishly running forward without regard for anyone around her— she surged onward, never looking back, and she continued to live, free as the wind. She is the main character of her own story, while Nao was fated to always be an outsider to someone else's.

To him, she is liberty.

The liberty to love, the liberty to live, the liberty to pursue grander, unimaginable dreams, destined for a grand story of epic proportions.

She is the Liberty he was born without the right to have.

(The lightning scars at his chest reach desperately toward his heart, longing for the promise that was no longer there.)

-

Soulmarks vary.

Ms Sakurai had timers, one stopped at zero, the other still inching toward a day in the far future, nearly eight years to go on the clock.

As for Nao— he had tattoos entwined around each of his arms, haunting centipedes on the right and orchids on the left. They bound so fully over his wrists from his elbow, heading toward his hands, yet they stop just before it.

He wondered if they were desperately reaching toward him, fated to never reach.

(And well, Nao was Kazane's younger brother.)

(He hated her, with all of his broken heart, but in the end, he's just the same.)

-

Nao wasn't sure when he had a guess, honestly.

He always had his sleeves down. Garishly portraying your soulmarks was frowned upon as socially inappropriate. Much more so for Nao, who hadn't found his soulmates yet, he really didn't want to show off the striking tattoos to just anyone on the streets.

Rarely anyone had soulmarks as prominent as his. It's usually around the wrist as well, but most commonly as words or numbers. Sometimes it would be a list of names, other times, sentences.

It drew a lot of attention, so Nao hid.

Nao wanted to be normal, despite the fact that very little about him set him up for anything normal at all. He was a walking cliche of a creature, fated to be thrown into shenanigans for entertainment. He's not sure if he's mad about it.

Alas, he realized he's living in Ansatsu Kyoushitsu, and from there, a lot of things begin to feel odd and confusing. It filled him with dread on a good day, with misery on a bad day. Either way was terrible.

In a world as vivid with its metaphors of tension and fears as this one, there was only one man that came to mind when one thought of myriapods.

"I'm just trying to be the man you were when you were up on that mountain, sir."

"You're trying to be an idiot, that's all it is," Asano Gakuho sneered at him, his eyes firm with a state of mind that nothing could change.

Nao wondered if this was worth it. But nothing ever was.

But if his guess was right— then he knew that he was in more danger connecting with his soulmate than anything else. This was straight down the route of even more red flags, and Nao wanted nothing to do with it.

Soulmates were supposed to support and walk alongside you when you're down.

Asano Gakuho was not a man that would extend that sort of kindness without mutual benefit, and Nao was not someone that could grant him anything. He didn't wish to, either.

(Asano Gakuho wore gloves, thick and full. What is he hiding, what is he ashamed of?)

If anything, even in the worst, most dramatic twists of a romance otome, Asano Gakuho seemed more fitting of the staple bloodbath bad ending.

Nah, hard pass on that.

It was fine.

Nao survived just fine without soulmates in his last life. He sure as hell wasn't going to start needing a god-designated babysitter, and he sure as hell wasn't prepared to become one, either.

"I am only a feeble little outsider," he said.

I am nothing significant.

"I cannot be anything, and I cannot be anything's replacement or representative," he insisted, trying to deny himself, trying to convince himself. "I don't have long, so if you want to fire me, go ahead."

Please let me remain someone that means nothing to anyone.

Nao did not want to be loved.

(A soulmate is someone that loves unconditionally, whether platonic or romantic, and Nao has known far more than anyone else how agonizing the rupture of a bond could be.)

Nao was afraid of love, because he'd learned, far too early, what it meant to lose it.

Nao was afraid to be loved again.

And thus, he did all he could to make sure Asano Gakuho never caught on.

(That's what he told himself, over and over. That he was antagonizing the Board Chairman to keep him away.)

(But he only managed to pull him closer, garnering his interest instead. In the end, perhaps Nao was never really trying to create distance at all. Perhaps, from the start, his actions had always been a cry for help.)

-

Onto more important things.

"You kids have way too many soulmarks! What is all this, a harem?"

Karma had the cheek to look smug. "They all dread having me around. You'll never see a cooler harem king than me."

"I'm not even going to retort to any of that," Nao sighed, inspecting the names around Karma's wrist, neatly lined up on his right. There were six.

Usually, four soulmarks was considered a large number. Five was unusual but not unheard of, and anything above that was considered outstanding. Why would anyone even need that many soulmates?

A problem child like Karma, that's who.

"Usually people have more soulmates because they're popular, but seriously," Nao hummed, "huh? I don't recognize the first name on the list..."

"It's Nagisa-kun," Karma said, grinning.

Nao blinked in surprise.

Karma's marks came in a list of last names, penned in each person's handwriting. And the first name had not been 'Shiota', but a different last name that belonged to his father, which he had to discard after his parents' divorce.

"Soulmarks are like that. They stay the same and don't really reflect what you really are," Karma said, looking away. "Luckily for me, Nagisa-kun's the only one that has my dumb name on his arm, too."

The initials on Nagisa's arm did not spell Akabane (K)arma.

Nao decided he didn't want to know the reason.

It was good enough that they found each other, accepted each other, and lived on proud and strong together.

Nao's envious. And relieved.

"But there's something real strange, you know..." Karma sipped on his strawberry milk with a hum. "I could swear I had another name on my list, but it disappeared."

Nao jerked to attention immediately.

There's only one reason why names would disappear– if the bond were released.

But Karma didn't have any chronic affections for the missing bond. He didn't remember consenting to a bond's release, and yet, he's completely fine.

Nao's envious. The ache of losing a part of yourself— it's something determination couldn't shake, and Nao continues to live with the chronic ache Kazane left behind, despite long moving past her disappearance.

For Karma, one of his names had disappeared, as if the person was prematurely erased from the board, and fate just made corrections and moved on.

"What was the name?"

It's still unusual, though. But if that name was meant to be Karma's soulmate in some way, they may have plot relevance. What if something went wrong?

"Ah... it was Yukimura," Karma said, dismissively. "I'd be looking around, but it's a pretty common surname, so I guess we're out of luck. On Nagisa's it was 'Y-A'."

Nao froze.

Yukimura... Yukimura?

"But it's no biggie," Karma chuckled, "don't worry about it, Kuma-sensei. Terasaka's circle lost one a while back too, they made a huge fuss. We didn't get any rejection reactions."

"Wh– wait. When did it happen?" Nao couldn't shake off the horrible unease in his chest.

Circles didn't always share all their bonds. It's not unusual to have different soulmates even within a circle— Karma and Nagisa were soulmates, but Karma was bonded to Okuda too, and Nagisa was not.

But this meant that there were at least two people connected to this classroom who were suddenly erased from the privilege of having soulmates.

(Not even death could do something that cruel.)

"When... hmm, for me, Nagisa, Isogai, and Maehara... we lost ours when the moon exploded, I guess?" Karma said. "Terasaka's group, a month or so out? You'll have to ask them. Do you think the moon's connected to this? That'd be crazy."

That would be crazy indeed.

"I..." Nao stood up from his desk. "I need a moment."

Two people have been erased from their connections to this world. If it's centered upon Nagisa, and another centered upon Terasaka... then they must be Kayano and Itona. There's only one thing those two have in common.

Tentacles. That must be it.

Kayano didn't show her soul marks to anyone, but she was the only one in class that apparently wasn't soulmates with anyone else.

What if it was because she lost all of them?

(She was never allowed to meet her soulmates, because she threw them all aside for her sister. And she'll probably never be able to reconnect ever again, because a lost bond can never be rejoined, even if it was released by mistake.)

(How lonely is that, in this world of soulmates?)

(But then again, Nao didn't want any soulmates either.)

(But at least he was choosing this as a adult that could make his own decisions.)

-

Nao stared upon the damp blood in his hands, staining his gloves unpleasantly, drying into flakes he didn't quite find enamouring. The world's spinning far too much to try standing up, and trying to clean his mouth would only smudge the substance further over his face to look worse.

He'll just ride it out on the side of the road like this, he supposed it didn't matter.

"It wouldn't bode well for the reputation of the school for you to sleep here. Have some consideration for whose property you're loitering upon, Kunomasu-sensei."

Loitering? Hardly. And this is school. And he can't exactly help the fact he's—

—ah, nevermind, Nao sighed. He had so many responses in his head but if he spoke, he'd probably throw up instead. He didn't have the strength for it anymore, might as well use what's left to breathe.

"...how did you find me?" he asked instead.

His voice was a little above a croak, but he hoped it wasn't too obvious. He wanted to just close his eyes and lie down and hopefully get some damn rest.

"I wonder, myself," Asano said. "I just did. Will you stay there the rest of the night? It would be inconvenient if you died here, I would have to call the hospital to make a death report, and there are far more urgent duties at hand."

Nao would have laughed.

(Death has always been just around the corner for him. He's not afraid of it. He'd prefer it, his chest throbbing with ache each time he curses his weaknesses.)

It's long stopped being Kazane's fault he's so weak, and yet, he hated her anyways. He didn't come from a world with soulmates, and yet, he craved them. He hated that he desired them, because in a world where soulmates shroud your destiny, Nao was cursed too early to never be a single fulfilling entity.

He didn't understand. Karasuma hid his connection with Irina. Kayano threw away her bonds without a second thought.

(They're so lucky, they get to do that and not have the impending sense of brokenness crush them deep inside with every waking hour.)

"If I died here, that'd be nice," Nao said.

It's sincere. So sincere, his heart ached, his head pounded, his ears rang, and his eyes trembled and brought a tear forth only to waste what little energy he had left.

The blood in his hands dried. He's happy he's wearing gloves. He didn't want the soulmarks on his hands to get too close. He didn't want them to reach his heart.

He didn't want them to touch him, lest they be dragged into what an utter mess of a human being he is. Unlike this fragile excuse of a broken marionette that didn't even belong here, they deserved to live as themselves, as independent and strong individuals that can survive, all on their own.

(He can't even breathe properly enough to walk himself home on a day that wasn't even particularly strenuous. No one deserves to be burdened with whatever this is. Not him, not a soulmate, not a passerby, no one.)

(Nao suffers from a hole in his heart both physical and psychological, and he wants to do all he can to ensure he never subjects this same pain to anyone else.)

"You deserve to live, you know," Nao said. "Happily."

He felt Asano's gaze on him, but his eyes fluttered close and he leaned against the wall, cold and crusty and just slightly damp, and he allowed the weight of his head to give in to sleep that finally, mercifully, took him.

-

Asano Gakushuu lounged on the sofa with a book in his lap— until his father walked in with Kunomasu Naomasa in his arms.

The Asanos locked gazes for an uncomfortably social, incomprehensible moment.

His father had his bag hastily hooked over his arm, his tie slightly crooked, and his suit was crumpled where he'd clearly tried his best to keep the figure in his arms close as his condition worsened. He even hedged the door close with his heel and toed off his shoes.

Asano Gakushuu did the very reasonable thing and reached for his phone.

"Gakushuu, do not," his father warned. "If you're calling the police—"

"I'm not helping you bury the body," Gakushuu responded immediately.

"Of course you're not. If I had a body to bury you wouldn't ever know about it."

Gakushuu hesitated. His father was very likely not joking or even speaking allegorically and he didn't want to think about it.

"Then why are you holding one?" he asked, instead, almost dumbly.

Gakuho didn't entertain him with an answer. Instead, he approached, and Gakushuu quickly vacated the couch to allow the figure to be laid upon it.

"What the— Kuma-sensei?!" Gakushuu gawked.

"Kuma-sensei?" Gakuho asked.

Gakushuu balked. He didn't want his father to know he also called the teacher by the nickname— so he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Did you try to kill him or something? I didn't think you would do that to a legally disabled man."

Gakuho sighed longsufferingly.

"Oftentimes, I wonder what exactly is your perception of me, my son."

Gakushuu made a disgusted noise as he stepped away. "When you call me that you are never up to anything good. What did you do?"

"You think so horribly of me."

"Do you blame me, though?"

"Honestly? No," Gakuho admitted. "Now, would you believe me if a sudden whimsy brought me to where he just happened to be?"

Gakushuu squinted skeptically. "And since when were you a whimsical sort?"

"I don't know. I suppose since today."

Gakushuu sighs, leaning on the back of the couch, watching as Nao's breaths evened out and he slept, a little effortfully, his breaths coming in a slightly worrying wheeze.

And Gakushuu looked back up, to see his father, too, staring at Nao with a worry weighing upon his brows.

He's confused.

He, too, doesn't understand. He doesn't understand how he found him, why he brought him back. It's not like him.

"Ah, I get it now," Gakushuu murmurs to himself.

Sometimes, soulmates could be drawn to each other, like a homing instinct, inseparable and always aware. Gakushuu was drawn this way, too, to someone up on the E-class building against his will. But they weren't the intimate sort, Gakushuu would rather die than openly admit he and that bastard were soulmates– so they got their fill competing for first place on the leaderboard instead.

How silly. Asano Gakuho was such a smart man, and yet, he's utterly stumped by a concept so simple, even a kid could piece together.

"What did you get?" Gakuho asked.

Gakushuu sighed. "That I hate you."

-

The Five Virtuosos had a study session at the Asano mansion once, and that's when they accidentally catch a sight of Asano Gakuho in something other than his full suit.

It had been a hot day out. No one would blame even the Board Chairman for wearing something with short sleeves. It's unusual, but this guy could make a T-shirt look intimidating, he'll find a way. It's a collared polo this time, though.

Sakakibara Ren had stepped into the kitchen and immediately jumped back in surprise. Araki catches him and shoves him back in, and that's when they both recoil.

But not because Asano Gakuho is sitting in his own kitchen drinking coffee, no, that wasn't the most surprising thing— it's his soul mark, on the inner side of his upper arms.

Four jagged streaks like a beasts' claw marks, going toward his hand, just barely cutting up the wrist, stopping somewhere in the middle of his palm. It's hardly romantic, symbolically morbid, and most of all... kind of suited him, in a way.

(As expected of the terrifying Board Chairman. His soulmate must be just as terrifying as he is.)

Ren, abruptly realizing he was staring and Asano is staring back knowing exactly what he's looking at, averts his eyes immediately.

"You know, when encountering a Beast in the wild, it is most wise to maintain eye contact before backing away slowly," Asano said.

Ren meeped.

"W- We apologize," Araki stuttered out. "We didn't mean to be rude. We will leave right away."

Asano simply smiled at them. "Don't be. I know it draws attention. We all have marks, it is hardly something I'm ashamed of."

And honestly, that had been the most surprising part of that encounter.

Asano Gakuho was sentimental about soulmates, too.

Like. Like a teenager.

(Ren spat his drink out unceremoniously, all over Seo Tomoya who shrieked indignantly.)

("Your dad's soulmate is WHO?")

(Gakushuu sipped on his tea, elegantly. "I didn't stutter. And no, neither of them know. I'm actually very much hoping they never find out")

-

Asano Gakuho starts driving Nao on checkup days.

"He was done with his work and nothing was stopping him from going," Gakushuu says, stepping into the now empty Board Chairman office. "So I'm going to set fire to all this paper so he'll be forced to redo it."

"Asano, that's a crime!" Ren reacts very quickly, snatching up his hands before the unhinged boy strikes the lighter against the fountain firework, "calm down!"

"You're right," Gakushuu says. "Fire would be too obvious. I must use something less obvious. Make it look like an accident. Let's make the coffee machine explode."

"ASANO!"

-

"So, Mister Board Chairman..."

Nao started this conversation over a warm White Mocha Frappuccino with extra shots of espresso and hazelnut, whipped cream and caramel drizzle with a dusting of cocoa powder, blended with chocolate flakes and pumpkin spice, with extra foam.

He deserved this. It cost a staggering amount on the hilariously long receipt, but the medication he was given in the checkup made him drowsy and he hated everything right now.

"Why is there a set of paperwork in the back seats of your car? I assume they're all photocopies of whatever was on your desk, I recognize some of them."

"Just in case," Asano buckles in his seatbelt and starts the engine. "You never know, Kunomasu-sensei. One day while I'm out of office, someone may pick the lock of my office. There might be a power outage, which may cause my coffee machine to malfunction. If it does not explode, there may be coffee in the carpet and flooring. Then it would then only take a bit of wind to ruin all the work."

Nao blew on his coffee.

"Alternatively," Asano says, "one could take a bag of fireworks alight and set it loose into my office. But that's just a possibility. I wouldn't know anyone that would do that, would I?"

He says, with a smile that meant someone would.

"Ah, what a tragedy that could be," Nao deemed, very dryly. "Your career must be... very interesting, if that occurs frequently. Please give Shuu-kun my regards."

"Not anymore interesting than your career, apparently," Asano responded.

There's a moment of silence.

"You refer to my son as—" Asano began, but didn't finish. He started again, but his sentence almost seemed a little hasty. "You do not refer to any of your other students in this manner— I did not realize you two were close."

Nao sipped on his drink, feeling the warmth emanating through his very being. He wasn't in the mood to answer this question. The nickname slipped out in a haze.

So Asano pushed harder. "It's not professional."

"Okay," Nao simply said. He really wasn't in the mood. "But, neither is my white mocha frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso, whipped cream and—"

-

Nao honestly didn't remember this man until he found the florists' van.

And suddenly, his other soul mark made sense. And didn't, at the same time. The spiral of orchids so elegant... the only other suspect he had was his foster mother Ms Sakurai, but she was very sure she wasn't Nao's soulmate. She would know.

So, it only left this guy.

But why?

And oh, destiny, what's with my lineup of soulmates? Did you mistake my list with the casting of some ultimate villain battle royale? Soulmate AUs are supposed to be silly romcoms, so why must I be subjected to this death game genre in the making?

"Ah... those flowers," quick. Don't look suspicious. Don't give anything away, "the orchids. They're beautiful. I haven't seen them so gorgeous before."

The prettiest, most innocent smile Nao's ever seen blooms onto the florist's face.

Nao has never been so gobsmacked before. That smile's not genuine, right... No wait, it's about flowers, so it might be! No wonder it's so blindingly bright!

"Are you a fan of flowers?" He's so cheerful, he's like a samoyed. "I've raised these myself! Would you like one for the road?"

Don't fall for it. Don't fall for it.

Also, he'll kill you if you say no! He's giving you pure white orchids. He's telling you to die!

"They're beautiful," Nao admitted. It wasn't a lie, these orchids really were breathtaking, pristine, and the most pure shade of white he's ever seen— and softer, just to himself— "I can tell they've been cared for, really well, by only the kindest hands."

Why, oh why, did someone who can grow such beautiful flowers have to be a criminal? His heart's full of passion and care for something as fragile as flowers.

And the soul mark he's left on Nao's body is beautiful, too. A harsh contrast to the centipedes snaking down his other side. It's so ironic, isn't it?

And, to Nao's surprise— he saw it.

The Reaper's sleeve ran up slightly as he trimmed some flowers and bundled them up for him to go. And there was a mark there, on his forearm, of a bear's claws scraping through his skin.

Nao knew, instinctively, that those marks were him.

(Ah. What a shame, for something so ugly to disfigure such wonderful, beautiful hands.)

Nao couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. The Reaper asked after the laughter, but he didn't answer. He simply dismissed it, and went on.

"I'll be late for work! If you'll excuse me, then."

They'll forget about each other soon.

-

"Did someone mistake you for a zombie on the way here? Because that's what these flowers seem like to me."

"Ms Jelavic, you're so mean to me..."

Nao was fine this morning, but now he's sick again. It's coming from that one spot on his chest, which isn't a good sign because a care package came from her this morning, and that's already made him upset. This better not mean she's thinking of him.

At least the kids were enjoying themselves with a bunch of the sports events happening with the main campus recently, but he feels so sluggish he could die. He just wants to lie down, close his eyes, and honestly he doesn't even want to sleep. He just wants to lay there, motionless, listening to the world for the rest of the day.

"Does your heart hurt? If you're about to have a heart attack, I'd rather call the emergency services right now," Karasuma stepped over, checking his pulse. "It's normal to me, but this could change soon. I'll call just in case—"

"Ah, no, no, don't—" Nao shoved himself back up to a sitting position. "It's nothing. Just soulmate pangs, I'm sure. I know the difference."

"Soulmate—" Karasuma began, but is interrupted by an indignant:

"—you got rejected?!?" yelp from Irina.

Nao paused.

"Oh, I guess only the people of this town know the story," he said. "Weird. I thought everyone knew that I'm only so sick because of a soulmate bond rupture."

"You're what—"

"WHAT?"

Korosensei leapt in from god knows where to exclaim like a boundless screech.

"YOU'RE WHAT?"

"I'm sick of a broken heart!" Nao beamed. Once upon a time he hated the implications of that but nowadays humour was a very nice coping mechanism, you see. "Or at least, that's what everyone says. My heart was already weak before that, but it got infinitely worse afterward and never quite changed from there. It's part of why no one knows how to cure this at all."

There's a wave of grimaces from Karasuma and Irina.

Korosensei's sobbing. "I didn't knoooooowww!! I know your pain, Kunomasu-sensei! We're comrades now! You must receive the love of the world!"

"What do you mean you know— get off him, octocreep! Do not touch!" Irina snarls, when Korosensei starts draping himself over Nao, hugging him like a new doll he wants to offer the world.

"You're so mean! I might look like this, but I had soulmates before, too!"

"You're joking!"

"Of course I'm not! It still hurts every day!"

"What??"

"Enough! Let go of the sick man, octopus!" Karasuma joined in, trying to wrench them apart. "You're stressing him out further!"

"This is bullying!"

Nao, on the other hand, is endeared. He enjoys himself on his weird octopus throne for the day and allows himself to be comforted by the presence of people that actually mean something to his life.

-

Getting kidnapped by your estranged sister because your stalker soulmate is the on-the-run murderer your sister is targeting... is like, some sort of ridiculous light novel nonsense.

" I can picture it," Nao murmured into his chamomile tea, "the title of this story is 'that time I reincarnated but my soulmates are all elite mafiosi', dramatic murder mystery, coming out this Spring—"

"You can't do that," Kazane interrupted, "releasing another reincarnation murder mystery in Spring? Do you want to flop? Oshi no Ko comes out then, you know."

"Fuck, you can break the fourth wall, too??" he was honestly so baffled by that, but he composed himself. "I mean— why are you even here? What do you want from me? Let's get it over with so you can leave already!"

-

That brush with death wasn't pleasant, but at the very least, it was over quickly. Kazane left, and the ache in his chest finally eased.

He buried his head into his arms, and he didn't understand why he cried.

He hated her. So much.

Because he so dearly prayed for her to be gone from his life forever, and yet, this stupid instinct inside him always mourned so deeply when she was gone.

She had no right to care for him any more.

To hell with the chamomile tea that felt so warm and so dear in his hands. To hell with the smile that brimmed so sadly, so bittersweet.

To hell with the warmth in her hands as she healed his wounds and promised to be gone for real this time, because they definitely had no time for another meeting ever again.

To hell with her.

(Soulmates will always be necessary.)

(It's not about love or belonging.)

(It's just the fact that your souls are connected and eternally shaped by each others' existences, and it is only with the advance of one that the other proceeds.)

(Nao lives, fueled by spite. He soldiers on a broken man, because his incompletion allows him to understand others much more vividly.)

(Nao will stay here, so Kazane may continue to run far and free as the lady of liberty forevermore. Nao will stay here, cursed by her decision to lock him down, and she will impart a legacy for him that she can never create on her own.)

To hell with this all.

-

"I adore beautiful, fragile things," the Reaper said, tenderly arranging the orchids into the vase on the table. "There's just something about such an existence. It only has worth in being beautiful, and yet, if they're not well tended to, they can't even do that much."

When in his apron, he's so unsuspecting in a classroom.

A jarring contrast. This Samoyed-looking brat.

"Most things are like that, you know," Nao said. "Some things— people, anything... they never reach their full potential unless they find someone with the hands to make them bloom."

Even Karma continues to rise, spurred by his rivalry with Gakushuu. They continue to strive for greater heights in their own passion for education, and despite vehemently hating each others' guts, this is a bond they treasure very, very much.

Karsuma has begun to acknowledge his bond with Irina. And it's making Irina take a confident step in a direction she's never allowed herself to be in before— a position of true, wholehearted vulnerability and trust— and it's hard not to know how much she's enjoying herself now.

Even Korosensei began to see his own flaws by meeting Yukimura Aguri, a woman who watched her own soulmate become an experimental subject, destroying the bond between them that barely connected at all. And yet, they continued to find ways to resonate, until the bitter end.

Soulmates were important.

It's just the idea of being a piece in someone else's life.

Because no one's born to be alone. Not even the Reaper, whose teacher never looked his way; not even Nao, who's been abandoned by the only people he ever had.

"Isn't it enough that I like watching the flowers you tender?" Nao asked him. "I don't need anything else. Do you?"

And the Reaper thought this through.

"Why do you choose to look at me, and yet, you refuse to be seen?"

Nao felt the glance toward his arms. Toward his soulmarks, that they've both felt. That they both know about, and yet, didn't dare acknowledge.

There's nothing to be gained from revealing a connection between them now. This is a normal teacher in a school, and that is a criminal about to be locked down in prison for the rest of his life.

Nao didn't know, either.

He didn't hate this guy. If they're soulmates, then there must be a reason.

His company makes Nao feel at ease, and honestly, that's enough. He just wants comforting silence, without a stressful conversation, overprotective pampering, and definitely not confusing tea.

He just wants to watch the Reaper tend to some flowers. That's enough.

"You tore off your face," Nao said. "But you didn't tear off me. Why?"

It didn't make sense that a man who tore off his face would keep around something as prominent as an ugly soul mark somewhere so visibly. He clearly wasn't hiding it, either.

"You're way past the age. You could have released it, too," Nao said.

It would have hurt for Nao, to have a second one unwillingly released, it would have been agonizing, he might have died, but why would the Reaper care about that?

"So, why did you keep it?"

The Reaper pulled down his sleeve. To the soul marks of a bear's claw, gouging into his forearm— for someone whose greatest skill is his mastery of disguise, a distinctive, recognizable feature like this must have been a great risk to go parading around. He would have been much better releasing this bond the minute he could, or surgically removing it with some cosmetic fixing.

Soulmarks must only be burdensome, to an assassin like him. Kazane was a hitman, and it's clear where her priorities lay.

And yet, he kept it. The Reaper wore his soul mark that connected him to Nao, and he wore it with pride.

Why?

The Reaper didn't have an answer.

So, Nao gave him one.

"It's because it's yours."

He glanced up, confused.

"Your face is from your parents. Your skills in assassination is from your teacher, who never looked your way. Your legacy is from him, too. And your prominence is owed to the underworld," Nao said. "But that soul mark... is something only you have. You neither inherited it, nor learned it, it was yours, from the very beginning."

Nao folded his arms together, smiling softly at the strange mixture between the centipedes and flowers.

He never tires of watching them intertwine.

"And these flowers, they're yours too," he said. "They're you. And they're beautiful."

(Because you wished, from the bottom of your heart, that one day, you would be seen, not as the Grim Reaper, but simply as another soul in this world of destiny, who is simply struggling to meander through the fabric of life. You are simply another child in this wheel of fate, who's waiting for his soulmate to take his hand and lead him onward on the pathway of life.)

(Together.)

When Nao lifted his head to face him, the Reaper hastily looked away.

"Naomasa-san," his words almost seemed a little tight. "Just... nevermind."

He heaved a breath. And looked back toward Nao with a smile almost endearingly bashful.

"Mister centipede's got it tough."

"Huh?" Nao didn't know why that was being brought up now, so he hid his arm, absolutely flustered. "Don't think of that guy, you don't even know him, so he's a completely different matter! All that matters is this arm, okay? Look how pretty it is! And all I give you is an ugly scar-looking thing!"

The Reaper chuckled, fond. "I think it looks cool, though."

"Don't lie! It's the last thing you want on your arm when you're trying to look harmless, you know!" Nao groaned, embarrassed now. Geez, his mark's ugly, but just his luck that it ended up on people that wear it well. "Don't you have other marks? They've got to look better than this. More subtle, too."

To that, the Reaper instinctively reached up to his neck, "well.... That one's not in a space easy to see. So it's never been a problem."

"What?"

Now Nao's interested.

The Reaper had another? Who could it be? It was weird enough he had one at all, but two? Now that's interesting. Who else would the Reaper eventually tangle with?

"It's a timer," the Reaper said. Keeping his hand there and refusing to show Nao, "I know who it belongs to, but... they're civilian, just like you. So I shouldn't meet with them. They're better off without someone like me hovering around them... don't you agree?"

He smiled.

And Nao's flustered. What a hypocrite! He wants to bash a pillow in his face. Oh, to hell with self-preservation. He never subscribed to its existence, anyways.

"Don't leave your soulmate alone, you prick!" Nao groaned.

The bewildered expression that rose to the Reaper's face was a sight to behold.

"They've probably been waiting their entire lives for you! Timers are special, you know! It means you'll definitely meet one day!" Nao snapped. "You can't just leave them hanging, come on don't be like that! At least apologize to their faces if you're going to never acknowledge they exist!"

Ah, Nao's a hypocrite too. But maybe that's why they're soulmates.

(But don't be like me! Don't be like me!)

"But... even if I formally meet them, what would I say?" the Reaper showed a strange amount of hesitation in his question, "hey, I'm a former assassin. I've been in prison. Nice to meet you?"

Master of disguise and oscar-worthy actor here, everyone.

"Start with your name!"

"I don't have one..."

Nao paused.

What a wreck. Take the assassin of this guy and he's just a boy. Maybe he's just messing with Nao, but he can't help but go along with it anyway.

"I've worn so many names in my life," he said. "None has ever felt right. I know how to name characters I need to use, but I don't know how to name myself. If the idea of a name is to give an honest impression, then I would rather not give one that isn't real."

He's lived so long being an assassin, he no longer knew how to live as a person.

"Geez, you idiotic samoyed! Fine!"

Nao understood what he wanted. He just wanted attention. There's no way this idiot was actually troubled by something so silly, right? This is the story's almost-main antagonist, here, killer of thousands, legendary assassin called the grim reaper, executioner of the underworld!

"...a samoyed?"

Now Nao wanted to just crawl into a hole and die. How could he have said that out loud? He leapt for the Reapers arm, and pulled him back toward the desk, so his attention would turn back to the flowers.

"Look, I'll give you a name! Like, right now!"

Nao was so desperate to change the topic, he didn't realize the Reaper was staring shocked at where his hand connected with his forearm, right where the soulmark was.

"And you are to never use a fake name ever again!"

"Wha— ah... thank you. Very much... I would really, really appreciate that... But honestly, Naomasa-san, why am I a samoyed?"

"Please just forget that part!"

-

When Itona regained his humanity, his soulmates began to return to him as well.

It all began with the quest to make his tentacles go away, initiated by the Terasaka gang of course— but how it happened was still a surprise to everyone.

Terasaka had seized the little bitch the second they got him netted down and growled at everyone else that protested his decision.

"This little fucker's ours!"

He declared that in front of the whole class, and honestly, how do you go against that?

Yoshida is grabbing at Itona's shoulders and shaking him desperately. "I knew I'd heard his voice somewhere before, and for fuck's sake! I finally remember! You losers, I fucken told you he wasn't a voice in my head! He's not my imaginary friend!"

He's shoving Itona back and forth in the direction of Terasaka and Muramatsu and Hazama.

"I literally had a telepathic soul bond with him until he GHOSTED me for years! IT'S HIM, OKAY??" He's chokeholding him now. Tentacles be damned. "Do you have any idea how much teasing I had to endure from these losers because you started ignoring me?? Who else am I going to rant about bike parts to? HUH?"

And then Hazama has a permanent marker in her hand.

She draws whiskers on Itona's cheeks while he's still restrained by Yoshida, and the same marks appeared on her face.

"Yeah," she said. "That checks out."

"Uhhh," Muramatsu looks away, "I have no ideas for mine. I guess we'll figure out the soul connection later...." then he raises a hand at the class, "sorry about Terasaka! He's just grumpy because he's the packleader of the bond! You know how cranky he gets when one of us goes against the grind! Ignore him!"

"Muramatsu SHUT UP! And we're dealing with his stupid bloodlust bullcrap right the fuck now so we can figure out how to get him back under my goddamn web!"

"Yep, what he said," Muramatsu said, "bye guys, we'll figure out when this gets settled. See ya tomorrow!"

And that was that.

Itona came back with a new bandanna and a bit sassier than before, but, honestly, his shoulders were also infinitely lighter.

Things were alright. Once the tentacles were gone, his heart started connecting to his soulmates again, and almost like the world was doing a little proofreading to iron out its mistakes, they came back easily.

Eventually, it was like they were never separated.

"Missing my bonds hurt a lot," Itona said, at some point, to Korosensei. "But when I had the tentacles, it was like I'd forgotten how it felt to have them at all. And then, I didn't realize how much I missed them until they dragged me back to them. And now I think I'd rather die than lose any of it again."

"I see," Korosensei had said, and patted him on the head.

"Does it feel like that for you, too?"

Korosensei took a long moment to answer.

"Maybe," he admitted. "But it's a dead bond, regardless, so it will hurt regardless."

(And that, if anything, gave Nao some hope for Kayano.)

-

Nao was a hypocrite, he understood that.

But he wasn't doing anything about it, because he was a coward. That was why he threw himself before Gakushuu, and took the hit for him.

So Gakushuu may go on stronger with his soulmates by his side, no longer chained down by his father who never had anyone to compete with, never had anyone to hold his hand and stand by his side through his ups and downs.

It must be nice to have so many soulmates. Gakushuu will be fine in his life, with the virtuosos by his side and Karma always in step with him.

"Why do you keep getting in my way?"

Asano Gakusho's teeth grind.

"Why do you insist on defying me? You're such a frail creature and yet, you fear nothing. I can't defeat you in any way that matters, and you are using that against me."

Nao knew that he didn't have any right.

Just as Kazane had no right to put herself in his life, and Ran no longer had the opportunity to— how could he come into Asano's life now, only to irresponsibility, inevitably, leave him all alone again?

This is a broken man that has gone his entire life alone, was crushed by his naivete, and continued to strive on alone.

Even rarer than those with six soulmates, some people only had one.

Korosensei met his 'one' too late.

Asano met his 'one' a fair while ago, but Nao refused to become anything to him. He had never experienced a soulmate in his life. How would he even know it was Nao, unless he were told? This was a man who had difficulty understanding humanity at all.

How irresponsible. How hypocritical.

"I'm doing this because I'm your soulmate. If I don't stand in your way, who else is going to do it?"

And maybe he would regret this later, he can't even look at the Board Chairman as he said this. His head rang and his mouth was filled with blood and everything hurt. He's got a concussion.

Nao laughed, when he finally glanced up and found an absolutely flummoxed expression from the Board Chairman from the revelation.

"You're so stupid sometimes, you know?"

In this world where Nao is fated to be an outsider, he's allowed to be something important to only three people. And that understanding, beyond anything, filled his shorn, dysfunctional heart with boundless warmth.

-

Nao found himself in the Asano house again, and this time, Shuu is very angry because he just knows his father finally found out who his soulmate was.

"Kuma-sensei, I am literally begging you at this point, don't worry about that homicidal man. Take care of yourself."

Nao simply patted him dearly on the head, "I'm always happy to hear how worried you are for me, Shuu-kun, but—"

"AND WHEN DID YOU START CALLING ME THAT??"

"—I kind of have a lot of experience in dealing with homicidal soulmates, so don't worry about me," he said. "I'll be fine. If god wants to kill me he'd better do it himself."

"Kuma-sensei, please explain that! Kuma-sensei?!"

"Now, now, rather than me, I want to hear about what happened with Class A after all that," Nao said. "I heard you guys started a study club to go on even after you guys get into high school?"

"That... was Ren's idea," Gakushuu murmurs. "We're probably going to get group therapy, or something. Honestly, I talked to Isogai the other day and we were talking about how E-class might have to go, too. Especially after the alien got revealed. People scream at the sight of us in towns, can you believe that?"

Nao chuckled warmly, leading them to the sofa as they continued to chat. They had little to do, now that Korosensei was quarantined on the mountain, classes were shut, and everyone was confined to their homes while the media went all out on the coverage of the alien apparently having been teaching a class.

There was nothing to do but pretend everything was fine, because it wasn't as if there was much else they could do.

-

Nao didn't know when he fell asleep in that conversation, but the sun was setting over the warm window when he woke, and Gakushuu lay right at his side, head on his shoulder, asleep as well.

There was a blanket around his waist.

And Asano Gakuho, setting down his bag at the kitchen before making his way over, looking over both of them with his hands set on the backrest.

"You two must not have any worries in the world, to sleep right here in the middle of the day," he sighed, though there was a fondness in his throat that Nao almost mistook for some feigned disappointment. "If you must catch a cold, please do not do it in my house. I can pay the hospital bills, but your doctor is a rather confrontational man."

Nao wanted to laugh, but he feared the movement may wake Gakushuu, so he settled on simply snickering into his fist.

A hand landed on his head, a gentle touch that made him pause.

Gakuho's tie was loosened. He stepped around the sofa, and carefully, picked up Gakushuu in his arms.

The boy slept soundly, clearly exhausted from the entire behemoth of a year and finally, finally having a day to unwind took its toll— it was almost impressive. Almost jarring, how tenderly Asano Gakuho held the boy.

They are, in the end, father and son.

On any other person, it would be natural, but on the Asanos, there was just something so enchanting about the sight. Nao couldn't tear his eyes away from the mythical occurrence. Not even for a second.

And Asano Gakuho sighed.

"I guess there's nothing to do but put him to bed before he realizes I've seen him asleep," Gakushuu said. "I don't know why, but his extension of 'being on guard' around me apparently includes being wide awake every night I'm actually home."

Nao huffed, amused. "You really don't know why?"

"It baffles me to this day."

"You're messing with me. You're not that unaware."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Nao continued to stare at them as Asano brought his son upstairs, until they were out of sight— and he really couldn't help the smile that was on his face the entire time.

He closed his eyes.

And simply indulged.

-

Nao dearly wished time could simply stop. Nothing hurt right now, and the inevitable hadn't happened yet. Graduation was almost here, but it wasn't, not yet.

He wished things could just stay like this forever, so nothing had to happen, ever again.

It's cathartic, almost. Nao found himself with his head in the lap of the most terrifying man in the world, and Asano didn't even look like he minded.

"Kunomasu-sensei, do you still wish to die?"

The silence. The snow. It brought back memories.

"Do you still believe I deserve to live happily?" Asano asked, and Nao honestly didn't know the answer anymore. "Even after all I've done?"

Of course you do.

But do I?

Back then, Nao had been afraid of love. Afraid to receive any sort of happiness in his life, because he knew that accepting it would make the departure more agonizing, not for him, but for the one he'll eventually leave behind.

Kazane left in his heart a scar that nothing can ever heal.

He's so scared.

So scared of leaving something like that in anyone else.

If he can die and be truthfully forgotten forevermore, he would be happy— that was what he'd thought. But the soulmate system made it impossible.

Even when the tentacles erased Kayano and Itona, their soulmates never stopped chasing. Kayano was finally reunited with her circle the other day and she'd cried so much, everyone honestly thought Karma would never let her go home alone ever again.

Soulmates are such wonderful things.

Soulmates are such a terrifying curse.

How could Nao ever do that to him?

Why must Nao become a curse to this man? Can't he just stay a broken obstacle whose purpose was only to make this man's mission a little harder?

Why must Nao die, only to leave yet another incurable scar in this man's heart? Hasn't Asano Gakuho suffered enough?

Nao hated the soulmate system.

And yet, he was born into the one world that had them.

"You think so deeply, and yet, you never say a thing," Asano said. "It's quite unfair, don't you think? You're deciphering my life little by little, and yet, I'm never allowed to even hear a single line of all the prose in your head."

When Asano's hands curl around Nao's hair, Nao couldn't help but turn, toward him, deeper, hoping to hide, but only managing to prompt a comfortable weight around his shoulder.

Nao reached up, a hand obscuring his face, chewing down on his bottom lip, unable to say a word.

He had no words.

("Kunomasu-sensei, do you still wish to die?")

Don't hope.

You can't have this. No matter how much you want this, no matter how much he can give, you can't have this.

You're not allowed to have this.

The hand that brushed against his cheek took a tear away, too.

Nao rested his arm over his face, and Asano moved a hand to take it, lifting it just a little, allowing their fingers to intertwine.

The centipedes lay against the bear's claw. And yet, they could only connect briefly. Obstructed by physical limits, they could never spur through each others' skin to become the one full design they can create.

Asano said nothing. Maybe he's already gotten his answer.

Nao didn't want to acknowledge anything. Not even the brief, longing warmth on the back of his palm, nothing.

Nao is afraid of being loved, but maybe he's afraid of loving even more.

(And yet, he just didn't want to go like this.)

(He didn't want to go like this. He's trying so hard, but it's here. He's trying so hard, but he can't stop anything. He can't do anything. He can't even die quietly, meaninglessly, like he's always wanted in his life. No matter what, he's going to be a curse.)

(No matter what, Nao is going to curse Asano Gakuho for the rest of his life.)

(How is that fair?)

So Nao pushes himself up, and he refuses to think any of this through.

(—if he's going to be a curse no matter what he does, then he wants to be a curse so painful, so agonizing, Asano Gakuho will never be able to live normally again. If he cannot be beloved, then maybe, he can be detested. He wants Asano to remember him. He wants Asano to be haunted by the mere idea of him, because that would mean Nao mattered in this world.)

Their intertwined hands closed tight.

And for the rest of the night, nothing else mattered in the world.

-

Nao soldiers on.

Even when he nearly dies on the mountain, even after, when his students leave the nest one by one, to their new paths onward— he soldiers on, step by step.

He does all he can to lead them onward onto the path that's right for them. He watches them all as they set off, excited for what's to come, and he can't help but feel so, so envious.

He sees Itona dive into the company of his soulmates. He watches as Karma keeps a hand on Nagisa's back, making sure not a single one is left behind. Fuwa stays by Okajima's side, because they'll be together, eccentric as they both are in a world where they'll never be more than a bunch of otaku.

One day, they'll become old enough to handle their bonds, one after another. Maybe some of them will release their bonds in a mature and understanding way. And they'll be able to wish each other on in their own journeys ahead.

They'll be able to hold each others' hands without the soul bond obliging them to, and they'll never mean any less to each other.

Maybe they can be a blessing to each other.

Nao, however, is going to be a curse. A curse so vivid, so crippling, he will be a part of the lives of everyone he has ever loved, forevermore. He will gather all this love he has been given in his life, so much love it's spilling out of his hands, and he will curse them so terribly, they will never forget him, and their hearts will always ache for him, never healing.

And maybe that's okay.

(In this world, there are people that will happily take on the worst curses you can ever bestow, because they, too, love you much too dearly to do for you any less.)

The ones that live, simply have to live on.

Nao, however, rests now.