36. Gladiolus

(of integrity, faith, and strength.)

When Takebayashi shattered the glass trophy on stage, denying the propaganda of Asano's regime and boldly declaring his external fuck-you to the crowd-- Nao couldn't help but chuckle dryly.

The conversation with Asano after this was going to be scary.

(But well... it's worth it.)

-

Probably.

"My life flashed before my eyes like three separate times," Nao buried his face into his hands the moment he reached the E-class building and entered the staffroom. "And we only spoke for about five minutes."

Without prompting, Karasuma stood up to make him a cup of coffee.

"Kuma-sensei's alive!" Okajima, with the ever-masterful peripheral vision, spots him by the shadows and immediately stuck his head out the classroom door to locate him.

"Oh, thank god!"

"Someone, get a fluffy, huggable object!"

"Here you go."

"No Karma, Nagisa doesn't count!"

"And don't grab Kayano either!"

(I swear I seriously was gonna cry, Nao doesn't say. He lets me mess around when texting and doing reports, but in person he really freaks me out.)

He's pushed into the couch, and suddenly Korosensei is there-- "I went to England to get you some cake! Thanks for all your efforts, really!"

The squishy shoulder massage, the obnoxious pampering, and the extra shawl really wasn't necessary, but when everyone crowded around him, telling him stories about their day thus far-- it just made him feel so warm inside.

Takebayashi sat there, on his knees.

"I'm really sorry, Kuma-sensei," he said, "I really wanted to cause as little trouble as I could to anyone but myself, but I couldn't come up with a way to spare you the trouble."

Nao simply chuckled warmly at that, "of course it's fine, Takebayashi. After all-- there's not much of a point to me being up here if I don't at least divert a little of Principal Asano's ire from you guys, right?"

Nao is weak, and he's not the smartest guy on the block either.

But if he's able to become even a fragile paper wall between Class E and Asano Gakuho-- he would be more than happy to do it, over and over again.

"Enough about me," he quickly changed the subject, moving the ice pack away from his head. "Wasn't that trophy made of Lucite? It's crazy that you could break it with a wooden dagger."

"Yeah, that!"

"Right. Takebayashi, that was mad. No seriously, how??"

"That's simple," Karma suggested nonchalantly, "just take the thing, imagine Terasaka's face, and--"

"Are you picking a fight, Karma?!"

-

Ms Sakurai left a vase of flowers by his window.

That wasn't uncommon at all-- as late as Nao's hours sometimes dragged on, this was how Ms Sakurai cheerfully kept her foster son updated about her day.

"A purple gladiolus, huh," Nao considered it.

There was strength, violence and perseverance. The flower of gladiators, after all, was something wonderfully powerful to be in the presence of. Then, the colour. Purple was a mark of nobility and mystique across the board-- did Ms Sakurai find a strange visitor today, he wonders.

"An elegant warrior... yeah, that sounds nice," it's poetic, too.

A lover of literature as he was, he couldn't simply leave the flower to sit and wilt. He appreciated it very much-- the flowers were always something that warmed him, distracted him, and calmed him.

He sat down, and watched it in the moonlight.

An indication of strength and perseverance... beautiful, yet fleeting and fragile.

"You're kinda like me," he snorted at his own words as soon as they left his lips. "Nah, that was cringy." So he's not going to say it again.

He can't make the flowers stay beautiful forever, but he can at least pen down a cadence of their subtle grace on a piece of paper, immortalizing it as a work of prose.

Flowers are incredible living things.

No matter where they come from or where they end up in their growth-- they always make the most of what little time they have, blooming beautifully if only to make someone or something smile.

("Are you going to fight until the end, too?")

"I'm trying, I promise."

-

"You spent the night in school again, Kuma-sensei?"

Nao woke up to Isogai and Kataoka, both in their jerseys. He's on the staffroom couch, a shawl around his stomach, probably left by Korosensei.

Honestly, he wasn't quite sure what he had been doing yesterday, after his class ended. He's not quite sure when he decided to sleep.

(Did he have his class? He's not quite sure anymore.)

"Well, I didn't feel like heading down the mountain" he yawned, not quite getting up yet. He laid a hand over his eyes, "you guys are early."

Ugh, he didn't feel like working today.

Not in a joking, I'm-lazy sort of way-- but honest, bone-sagging exhaustion took his shoulders, and his limbs dragged against his joints, protesting every movement.

He leaned against the side of the couch, looking over the window to see the rest of the students gathered in the courtyard. Korosensei wore something that oddly resembled a police uniform, but one couldn't be too sure in the distance.

"Korosensei said we're playing cops and robbers, apparently," Kataoka explained.

Nao hummed. If they moved Physical Education up to homeroom, then that would mean... he didn't feel like thinking. But either way, it's probably late into the morning at this point. "Looks like I overslept, huh?"

Isogai chuckled warmly at that. "That's perfectly fine, sensei. We don't mind."

You really should.

"Go out there and have fun," he told them.

He just wanted to go back to sleep. He wasn't particularly tired-- he just didn't feel up to doing anything today?

(Strange. Is he getting sick? But his forehead's cold, it's not a fever.)

Isogai and Kataoka leave, the former brewing up the coffee machine for him as a reminder to get up-- and Nao laid himself back down.

He reached toward his own elbows, covered by the long sleeves of his button-up. Pressing into his arms made the hidden scars hurt just a little, but it distracts him enough to forget the cacophony outside.

Out there, the children were having fun. They were getting better at their free-running lessons, improving each day.

Nao leaned into the couch and sighed.

He stayed there for a long time, lost in his thoughts. The sounds outside faded in and out of his ears, never truly registering.

He stayed there, and simply existed for a moment that lasted an eternity.

He managed to get up and function after that, but his coffee was cold and he couldn't quite get into the flow of the day anymore.

"Your class is next, Kunomasu," Karasuma said as he walked in, a towel around his next form the long run of the unnecessarily extensive game of cops and robbers. "Were you still asleep?"

Immediately, expertly-- Nao brought a perfect smile onto his face.

"I'm awake, I'm awake,."

Holding the mug of coffee in his palms, letting the cold rim of the mug remind him of how much time he's wasted-- Nao took one step after another.

He shouldn't have to remind himself of how to breathe, how to walk, how to proceed.

(He had to function.)

(That was the bare minimum that was required of him, as a teacher and a working member of society as a whole.)

He's got enough physical issues to worry about. No time for mental health breaks, too.

-

"So you guys hid out in the pool for the last minute, huh..."

Nao listened intently as they spoke of their literal last-minute ingenuity in winning their game of cops and robbers.

"Oh, Kayano-san didn't enter the water?" Nao pointed out.

Kayano chuckled nervously, "well, I'm not good at swimming, or even holding my breath," she fumbled in a show of humility. "Plus, it'll be tough to get my clothes dry before school ends."

Nao simply nodded.

It was strange how obvious yet incredibly subtle these hints were once you knew what was hiding under her neck.

They were headed down the mountain now. Yada and Kurahashi had Karasuma by the arm, because according to Korosensei's unsolicited bet, he was now supposed to foot the bill to the next cake shop they found.

(Nao gave him a pitiful look, then signed an offer to foot half the bill.)

(Karasuma miserably signed back in gratitude.)

Having a little class field trip like this to a cafe wasn't uncommon, and Nao adored that. Where else would you find a scene like this, in a school as education-focused as this one? The impossibility was the most endearing part of it.

"Hey, Kuma-sensei, was that sign language?" Sugino pointed out, imitating part of the overhead conversation between the two teachers, "it kinda looks like the hand signs we use in training."

(They have secret code signs? And Karasuma didn't tell me, the language teacher?)

(Incredulous! I have a thesis regarding sign language, mister government agent!)

"Field signs are usually adapted from, or a mixture of sign language," Nao explained. Then, a moment. "I don't think any of you want me to get going on language lectures right now."

Horrified, Nakamura realized something. "Hold on, Kuma-sensei, how many languages are you fluent in?"

Pause.

"He's not answering us!" Nakamura gawked.

"You never did tell us your university qualifications," Kanzaki said, "I would like to know, as reference for what I might consider pursuing in the future."

"I mean, you guys will make a big deal out of it..." Nao mourned his barely-intact sense of humility that his students were going to tear apart today.

"That's fine, you are a big deal, Kuma-sensei!" Okano whined, latching onto his arm. Then in a show of endearing childishness that would draw a thumbs up from Irina, she made a fuss. "Tell us, tell us!"

"Yeah, tell us!"

"And tell us your credit card details while you're at it."

Nao sighed, "alright, alright-- wait, no!" he snapped, "Karma, you cheeky brat! Watch me make you wear bear ears for the whole next semester, I swear!"

"That's never happening, cause my grades are awesome."

"Karma, maybe you need a lesson in humility..."

"Oh, you made Kuma-sensei mad. Everyone, run!"

When he looked up, everyone was smiling. Laughter spilled through the classroom, in an ephemeral, deceptive sort of joy.

This classroom is flawed, and its doom is only a matter of time.

And yet, it was great.

It's inevitable that this classroom would end in tears-- and yet, Nao couldn't help but find himself forgetting every once in a while.

It feels like a waste of time, a needless use of an already-short lifetime.

That guilt will perhaps never stop crushing him, and one day, it will consume him completely. Maybe this darkness in his mind will swallow him first, or perhaps, he'll manage to trudge down the road long enough to hear his heart stop beating.

(For now, however... it isn't a crime to be here, wasting his time.)

For Nao and Korosensei both, they will one day have to look back upon their life, and wonder if the air they struggled so hard to breathe was worth the mark they left behind.

His mind drifted to the purple flower by his window. Neither Nao nor the gladiolus can do much in the entirety of their lives, but they're still blooming beautifully, doing something.

(We're both doing our best, huh?)

He took one step after the next, and walked forward.

There's no time to look back.