30. Scores

"Sorry, Kanzaki-san," Nao had to apologize anyways. "My hands were tied. Metaphorically, I mean. I really didn't mean to do that."

Finals were over, and despite her best efforts, Kanzaki lost against Asano Gakushuu in the Modern Lit battle.

(Korosensei found out about him tutoring Gakushuu the day after the final paper. Needless to say, Nao was greeted the next morning by a row of Koro-clones protesting about favouritism and spies masquerading as bears, whatever that means.)

(Nao promptly retaliated by monopolizing his classes with a long lecture about the perks of finding and exploiting loopholes in predetermined rules. Exams were over and results were pending-- plus, Karasuma had to admit that this knowledge was useful in assassination.)

Kanzaki shook her head, "no, I don't blame you at all, Kuma-sensei," she bowed. "I am more frustrated at myself, for the few mistakes I made."

"No no, you did amazing!"

"But Asano-kun did better," she said. "I am still in awe, to be honest--" she looked at the chart again, a hand laid on the ranking for Modern Lit results. "--I didn't know it was possible to gain a perfect score in Literature. And yet, here it is."

To be honest, Nao was still speechless too.

Kanzaki and Asano were his proudest students to date, so he was expecting both of them to do pretty damn well-- but Asano just blew expectations right out of the water.

He looked again and surely enough, the glaring 100% sat right above Kanzaki's 96%.

"Seriously, even I never got that high of a grade," Nao sighed, mourning his golden bragging rights for 'highest score ever on Japanese Literature in Kunugigaoka History' in the school records. "And to think I held it for more than a decade, too."

"...huh? Kuma-sensei, you were a Kunugigaoka alumni?"

Nao blinked. "Did I never tell you guys? I was one of the first batch of students, so it probably wasn't as great of an achievement back then," he muttered. "But I held the record for the highest score, ninety-eight. To think the one that would break my record would be my own student-- I don't know if I should cry or laugh here."

Kanzaki was still staring blankly at him.

"What?"

"Kuma-sensei," Kanzaki repeated, like she needed to ask it twice, "you were a Kunugigaoka alumni?"

Nao groaned, "why is that a surprise? I teach here!"

-

"Kuma-sensei! Look, I did well in my Japanese!" Kurahashi showed her paper excitedly. "It's the highest I've ever gotten. I love you!"

"Yes yes, I love you too," Nao said nonchalantly, patting her on the head while looking at the other scores on the list. He was too focused on the ranks to notice how Kurahashi sparkled at the response, like she'd been given heaven itself.

He frowned when he reached Karma and Sugaya's ranks, but was pleasantly surprised by NiseRitsu's.

Karma had always been weakest in Japanese, but this was lower than Karma would usually let himself go. He'll need to have a conversation with that boy later...

But NiseRitsu scored astoundingly high-- higher than something Ritsu herself may have been able to achieve... well, robots and humans differ, after all. Maybe NiseRitsu had a passion for language.

"Kuma-sensei, marry me!"

"Sure, not until you're eighteen though."

"Kuma-sensei, I want head pats too!"

"Right, right."

"Kuma-sensei, Kataoka did really well this semester, so can you give her a princess carry? It's been her childhood dream or something."

"Yeah, just stand there, I'll come over in a bit."

"He said yes! Go get her everyone!"

One of the most undeniably effective ways to encourage education was bribery. Even Asano would approve of that.

It's ironic, but it is what it is. So Nao had a sort of semesterly tradition, where as long as you Aced your Literature, Kuma-sensei was yours for a day.

He usually just treated his whole class to a meal, but Kurahashi had meekly asked for a head pat two years ago and the trend continued in similar levels of miniature affection. Nao had no idea why they were so happy about it, but well, he agreed to anything. He had to serve.

"Woah," Irina muttered outside, "someone's popular."

"He's stealing my popularity..." Korosensei seethed, chewing on a pencil. It's heatless, but he was very whiny about it. "Unforgivable!"

"Well, he has known the kids longer than we," Irina shrugged. "He's like everyone's favourite uncle that has come to play."

Karasuma sighed. "He's such an enabler," he muttered. Because seriously, some of those things would be absolutely scandalous if taken seriously.

The next moment has Nao lifting Kataoka in a princess carry, and the entire class squealed in amazement. The class vice-president herself was blushing madly, face buried in her hands.

"Woah! Kuma-sensei, are you actually strong?!"

"...Are you calling Kataoka-san fat?"

"NO! I know she's as light as a feather!"

"Uhm, that would also be exaggerating. She's Ikemegu after all."

"But you know what I mean! I thought you couldn't lift a table to save your life!"

Nao scrunched his face unpleasantly, offended. "I do exercise, you know," he said. "My heart is weak, not my arms or legs. I can't run or climb like you guys, but I can do this much, at least."

Everyone looked like they were trying to reassess their perception of the teacher.

"Speaking of which, those that fell more than ten spots, bring you and your depression to my office after this," Nao said, gently letting the girl down.

In the distance, Sugaya and Muramatsu whined in despair. Terasaka and Yoshida groaned, but Nao made a point to look at Karma.

"That includes you, Senioritis."

Karma rolled his eyes.

Nao looked over everyone again, because apparently the spoiling session wasn't over. "So, what else... huh. A lap pillow? Seriously?"

"Pleeeease!"

"Alright, alright."

"Kuma-sensei, can I steal one of your jackets from the staff room?"

"Only for one day, okay?"

"YES! I got a one-day boyfriend shirt!"

Nao frowned at that. "Don't call it that, I'm gonna get accused of pedophilia."

"Raid the staff closet everyone!"

"Now wait, all of you!" Karasuma snapped as a good chunk of the mischief-makers filed out of the room in excitement, "my stuff's in there too!"

"Oh sweet, BONUS!"

"All of you, no!"

-

The first semester comes to an almost too pleasing end.

Class 3-E showed their stuff, and A class was soundly defeated for the most part. The closing ceremony, which Nao promptly showed up for as their homeroom teacher, was surprisingly awkward for the main campus students.

"What's that, Terasaka?" Sugino asked, noticing the pink bear keychain hanging at the edge of the delinquent's phone. It was small and cute, and once Kurahashi noted it, she found it on Muramatsu's phone as well.

Karma had one too, and he let Kayano inspect it.

"Huh? Oh," Terasaka looked at him, and turned away with a scoff. "Kuma-sensei's punishment for this semester."

Sugaya lifted his phone, which had the same keychain on it. "Since it's mostly the Terasaka lineup, we have to put it on our phones for the whole summer break."

"What? What sort of public shaming is this?" Isogai had to retort. "It's cute, but for you guys, that's just mean."

"It's cute," Kataoka said, "leave it to Kuma-sensei to indirectly teach the delinquents a lesson on toxic masculinity, for some reason."

"I wouldn't want one either," Hazama muttered, "thank god my grades stayed."

"He changes it up every year," Nagisa blanched, "in my first year I had to carry a teddy bear around school and leave it on my desk during class. It was... surprisingly okay with the other students."

"...Did the gender confusion get worse from there?"

"Oh. You think?"

"After midterms last year I had to wear a bear-eared headband," Okuda said, shrivelling in her trauma, "I mean, it was nice no one laughed at me."

"Yeah, they just somehow know it's Kuma-sensei's walk of shame and they look at you with empathy instead."

"Maybe it's the bear motif."

"It is definitely the bear motif."

Nakamura burst straight up into hysterics. "Seriously? You're gonna have an adorable little bear on the edge of your phone for the whole summer break? Oh god I'm never gonna stop calling you."

"Don't you dare, Nakamura!" Terasaka snapped.

"Same here," Yada giggled, looking at Yoshida.

"Spare me already," Yoshida groaned at his childhood friend. "My dad will never let me hear the end of this, haven't I suffered enough?"

"If it really was a problem, you guys would've removed it already," Kimura said, making a very fairy point. "I never understood why all of you just let him enforce it."

"I don't know Kimura," Muramatsu said, "every time I try to remove it, this intense sense of crushing guilt just eats me alive. I'm not brave enough to face his disappointed look either."

"Let's just say Kuma-sensei has startling convincing skills that he only shows behind closed doors," Karma muttered, actually looking pale at the memory.

And if someone managed to scare the delinquent gang plus Karma with just words, that's gotta be something impressive. As expected of the teacher that makes plenty of backdoor deals with Asano Gakuho.

"Guess you five are the pink teddy gang now," Nakamura teased.

"Oh shut up," a few of them muttered back.

Kayano handed Karma's phone back to him. "It's cute. I don't think this punishment would work well on the girls, though."

Nakamura chuckled. "The girls are usually a little different, like Okuda's bear ears or Nagisa's tabletop plushie."

"I'm a boy."

"Special case."

"There was a time I had to attend every class for the next month with a very gaudy bear-tipped pencil," Okano said. "I mean, it's cute, but the amount of times the teacher looked at me! I was gonna die."

"Do you guys get to keep the bear after everything though?"

"Yes we do."

"HEY! I'm not keeping it! I'm removing it once the time limit is up!"

"Oh really, Terasaka?"

-

Nao made his way to the Board Chairman's office, ready for another miserable conversation full of stress.

Well, just submit the end of term report and he could go. That was it, it shouldn't be as stressful as it always is.

He had his door on the knob when it twisted open loudly, and Gakushuu came storming out, fuming to his fingertips. Upon spotting the teacher, the boy froze, the angry expression actually faltering for a second.

Nao managed a smile.

"Hi there, Gakushuu-kun," he greeted him, like the boy hadn't just obviously been humiliated or something. "Congrats on the Modern Lit results. I know you lost in the big picture, but it's still amazing. I'm really proud of you."

He noted the way Gakushuu actually stopped there, eyes wide and jaw slightly open.

(Like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.)

He brought a hand up to rest on the boy's head.

"I might not be teaching your class, but I did tutor you for the most part. So don't forget you have the Kuma-sensei privilege, too," he reminded the boy. "Once you decide what you want from me, just ring me up, okay?"

Gakushuu looked over, like he was shocked to hear that.

Nao chuckled at that. He'd never seen Gakushuu be so at a loss for words. Regardless, he entered the principal's office and closed the door behind him.