The year is 2023.  I am celebrating my seventeenth birthday.  There was a dusting a year and a bit after Rumlow's suicide bombing, and then a blip five years later, as the world says.  I got dusted, so did Matt, but Trish and Tobias did not.  Society had changed, but not a lot; whole government systems didn't function for five years because too many vital officials had gotten dusted.  Luckily, Crimson Night was spared- I still had my family, and they remembered me.

With a quick motion, I slammed my finished shot glass on the bar counter and grabbed another.  The bitterness of alcohol washed down my throat, I smiled.  Matt joked, "Let's see how long it takes for you to get wasted,"

"Honey, you know that's never gonna happen." 

I cracked open a capsule of Criz and poured its fine, white powder into my drink.  Matt followed my lead, and we clinked glasses.  Then, a hand flashing sparkling red nails rested upon my shoulder.  "Trish," I said, hugging her.  But, something was different about her.  Instead of her long dark hair, she sported a pixie cut dyed a whitish blonde.  "Your hair-" I started.

"Let's just say I like the colour of yours," she teased, "Copying's the highest form of flattery."

In her tight-fitted, blood red high-necked dress, Trish stepped onto the the nightclub's stage.  She grabbed the microphone from the band's singer and half-shouted, "Someone very important to me turns seventeen today.  You know what they say, 'Dancing queen, young and sweet... Only seventeen!'  Happy birthday, Sarah!  You're the fucking princess of Crimson Night!"  No one ever used my real name any more, even when I wasn't wearing my disguise.  

It was three in the morning when we left the bar, I decided to walk home.  By then I had gained enough respect on the streets that no one would try anything with me- not when I carried my infamous Hydra knife everywhere I went.  The walk was uncomfortable in the high heels I was wearing, so I took off my shoes and walked barefoot.  It had just rained, so the wet on my feet felt soothing after being stuck in a crowded and hot nightclub.  The silver moon was clear and full, everything was almost perfect in this moment.  Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D. had completely fell apart in the dusting, and as far as I know the Winter Soldier was gone.  No one was hunting me, I was respected and had a home.  Almost perfect.

"Ich liebe dich, Papa," I whispered to the starlit black sky.  "Ich liebe dich, Ollie,"  I was seventeen and my own father and brother should've been able to see it happen.  That's right, Oliver became my brother.

Whenever I felt sad, I would take a dosage of Criz- the buzz it gave would keep me adequately content.  I swallowed another pill and continued walking.  And all of a sudden, I heard soft footsteps from behind.  Someone was following me.  My pace increased, My knife came to my side in a fist ready to attack.  When I turned around rapidly, I saw a woman.  She was under a burnt out light, and even the glow of the moon couldn't make out her features.  I only saw that she was medium height with shoulder-length hair.  In her hands she was holding something- it was small and rectangular.  "She's fucking filming me," I muttered to myself.  Who the hell was she?  But, whoever it was I needed to stop.  I couldn't have her following me home and sharing clips of me to the world, just in case there's that small possibility that someone's watching.  My heels fell to the sidewalk, and I raised my knife in front of my chest.  Running towards her did no benefit, when I got there she had seemed to disappear.  I looked down the nearest alleyways, but this woman had vanished.

Trish and Tobias were making out on her bed when I got back to our apartment.  During the five years where I was a faint particle of dust, Trish and Tobias had developed a romantic relationship.  Not surprising, they talked for hours on end together when they thought no one was listening.  They're arguing grew less and less.  Then, Tobias moved into Trish's grand apartment, and it only escalated from there.  Shockingly, they had a daughter, an heir to Crimson Night.  God, she was gorgeous and adorable.  I saw so much innocence in her, like how when I lived with Papa.  In her golden brown eyes I saw myself, and when we first met I vowed to take care of her like my own.

She toddled up to me when I entered the house.  "Sarah's home!" she called cheerily to her mother.

"What's Jasmine still doing up?" I asked, holding her hand as she brought me into the living room.

"Waiting for the birthday girl to return home," replied Trish.  "Toby, can you put Jazzy to bed now?"

Tobias lifted Jasmine up and took her to her bedroom.  I sat down on the couch and massaged my sore feet.  Staring out the window, I said dully, "You should really put her to bed earlier- it's not good for her to be up this late."

"Telling me how to parent my kid now, Sarah?  Something must be wrong." replied my friend.

"Somebody's following me," I said quickly, emotionless.

Trish questioned, "Who?"

"Dunno yet, but I have to be more careful.  Maybe wear " I told her.  Sighing, I explained, "I don't think it's S.H.I.E.L.D. or Hydra.  They collapsed in the dusting, right?"

Trish said nothing, but Tobias returned and said sharply, "Wrong."

"Huh?"

He sat down on the couch across from Trish and I.  "S.H.I.E.L.D. is slowly up and running again, they have a new Captain America."

"Dear lord!" moaned Trish, "Not another dingbat with no brains."

"How could they be looking for me?" I asked, trying not to sound worried, "I destroyed their file years ago."

Tobias merely shrugged and answered, "Computer system.  How the fuck would I know?"

Trish put her arm around me and said, "Well, we can't have one of our top persons being hunted down by an organization, even if it's shit.  How about you and Matt go down to their headquarters and figure out what's going on?  I'll tell my father that it was part of some important mission benefitting Crimson Night, some kind of that bullshit.  Okay, Sarah?"

"Okay,"

I walked to my room, which was once Trish's office.  Jasmine got my old room when I was gone, but now that I had returned Trish desperately wanted me to live with her again.  Tobias was not keen on it, but he is still not at the same authority as Trish, so he can't say boo.  My room included a Queen-sized bed with maroon coloured sheets and cover, a black rug with a red rose in its centre, and a small desk and vanity in the corner.  I decorated the walls with many dart boards, to practice knife throwing.  One large window looked down below onto the streets of Manhattan, but I kept the black curtains up most of the time for protection.  After changing into my soft red hoodie and black sweatpants, I swallowed two Criz pills and promptly fell asleep.  With Matt and I, the threat of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be neutralized and I could get on with my almost perfect life.

Matt was eager to help me with this trip.  It was a six hour trip from here to Washington D.C., where the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters were located- Tobias said that information about me would be there.  Three days later, Matt and I ventured out.  I hugged Trish and she said, "Have fun, Sarah.  You're gonna do good."

"Bye-bye, Sarah," said Jasmine.  Her beautiful, innocent face smiled up at me.  She thought Matt and I were going on a vacation, it was so pure.  I knelt down and embraced her, simply because I craved the innocence she had.  Matt shook hands with Tobias, their way of bidding farewell, and we drove off in the car.  I drove, I loved driving.  We took a regular-looking car, not one of our sports cars, as not to attract attention.  The sky was crystal clear of clouds and a brilliant blue, people were bustling about, it was serene.  Then, I saw her again.  A woman was filming me, I saw her and her phone on the street, pointed at our car.  I couldn't see her face, she had dark sunglasses on, but I had a feeling it was her.  Who else could it be?

I jerked the car to the right, turning down a mostly empty road.  All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe.  "What are you doing?" asked Matt fearfully.  My heart thudded against my chest, I was shaking from head to toe.  I was terrified, all I could think was:  Why the fuck am I being followed?  What did S.H.I.E.L.D. want from me, I accepted that they were trying to do good, but they went about it all wrong.  I was certain that they wanted to lock me in some prison like Stacey, and some freak "accident" would kill me.  The way they took Anastasia from her home- a child- in a way makes them no different from Hydra.  "Breathe, Sarah.  You're hyperventilating." Matt said gently.

From my pocket I withdrew the pill box of Criz- I took two pills.  "I'm fine," I said.  "Just saw the same woman who has been following me.  Needed to take a detour."

"Do you want me to drive?"

"No,"

"Are you sure?"

"Matt, I'm fucking fine!"

The rest of the drive was a stony silence.  We arrived at a motel on the outskirts of Virginia, in a city called Alexandria.  From our view of the Potomac River, I saw a faint tall building glittering like a Christmas tree; it was the Triskelion.  I stared out the window from my bed, trying to think of a plan of attack, but nothing came to mind.  Matt entered the room and said, "I bought pizza,"  I smiled.

We sat on the edge of the bed and ate our dinner, watching the news on our room's television.  Ever since the dusting, the world has been in a state of crazed peace.  Now news stations are broadcasting literally everything, even if it was miniscule.  Apparently everyone was getting along, but I didn't believe that.  If it were true, S.H.I.E.L.D. would have no purpose in looking for me.  "Y'know," Matt began, "You've come a long way from that girl in Russia."

I looked at him and replied uncertainly, "Thanks?"

"I always thought you were so pretty," he said, stroking my hair.  

Shutting my eyes in peace at the touch, I asked, "Even with my face?"

"Especially with your face."

I shifted over and gazed into his hazel eyes.  Slowly, I said, "I thought you were so kind to me.  You still are, you were the first person who showed me kindness since Oliver passed."  Yes, I mentioned briefly to Matt that I had a deceased friend named Oliver.  Only that much.  "Oh, I wish you would forget about Oliver sometimes!" replied Matt.

I stammered, "Forget?  How could I?"

"He may have helped you in the past, but he's holding you back now.  I see you, you are lost and listless.  Everywhere you go you are being weighed down by him.  You still wear that thing around your neck..."

I clutched Ollie's pendant protectively.

Matt looked me in the face and told me, "He's your past.  Don't let it stop your future."

And then he kissed me.