"Why would you think that?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko kay Chae Soo.

"Because you look like you did! Look at your face. You look like you had grown horns and rode a man-"

"Chae Soo!"

She laughed. Baka nga mamaya ay magising na ang mga kasama namin dito sa sobrang lakas ng tawa niya! It's still midnight, if she's not informed!

"Well, look at that." She pointed me. "You have such beautifully disheveled hair, you're sweating bullets, you're panting, and you're holding on to your chest like someone touched it!"

I glared at her. "Will you stop that?"

Ano ba namang isip mayroon ang babaeng 'to?! Dahil ba sa magulo ang buhok ko ay nakipag-makeout na agad ako? Hindi ba pwedeng hindi lang nakapagsuklay? Dahil din ba namamawis at humihingal ako ay ganoon na rin? Hindi ba pwedeng nagmamadali lang sa paglalakad? At talagang pati ang paghawak ko sa dibdib ay napuna niya! Jusko naman!

"You see, you can just tell me what happened. I won't tell anyone, promise." She seemed excited and even raised her right hand.

"Nothing happened, okay? I was just in a hurry because..." I thought of a good reason... "...because I heard noises at the end of the hallway. I was thinking if maybe there's a ghost here?" But I ended up saying a stupid one.

Tumaas ang kilay niya, hindi naniniwala.

"I'm telling the truth," kinakabahang dagdag ko.

"I didn't say anything!" She laughed like as if she caught me lying.

I cleared my throat. "Right."

Tumawa ulit siya at sinundot-sundot pa ang gilid ko.

"Chae Soo!" Saway ko.

"Alright!" She raised both her hands, still laughing. "I believe you," she added but she kept on wiggling her brow so I found out that she don't.

Umirap ako sa kaniya at humiga na sa kama. Isang malutong na tawa ang pinakawalan niya bago ako kiniliti.

"Sleep, Chae Soo!"

She laughed. "Alright. Good morning, honey! But I recommend you take a cold shower first so you'll stop the hotness," she teased and I rolled my eyes beneath the sheets.

Pinakiramdaman ko ang paligid sa loob ng ilang sandali at nang wala nang marinig na kahit anong ingay ay inilabas ang ulo sa kumot.

I looked around and saw them on their beds. Nagtagal nga lang ang tingin ko kay Chae Soo nang iniba niya ang posisyon. I even saw her shoulders shaking a bit like she's stifling a laugh.

I rolled my eyes and turned my back at her direction. Nakaharap ko tuloy ang maliwanag na paligid sa labas. Ang matataas na building na kita mula sa crystal na dingding ay kitang-kita mula sa kinaroroonan ko.

It looks beautiful, like a fairytale. Para silang nagniningning na mga bituin sa malayo, nakatingin at nakabantay sa bawat tao.

Sinubukan kong matulog ulit pero hindi na ako dinalaw ng antok. Halos ilang paraan na ata ang sinubukan kong gawin pero wala pa rin akong nahita. I tried closing my eyes but my mind kept on wandering to that scene beside the vending machine. I tried counting sheeps but I ended up losing count of it upon remembering Jungkook's flushed cheeks. Kaya naman nang dumating ang umaga ay para akong pinigilan sa pagtulog dahil sa eyebags ko. Hindi nga iyon masyadong malaki pero mahahalata pa rin kung pagmamasdan ako.

Nauna na akong maligo at mag-ayos sa mga kasama ko dahil hindi na rin naman ako makatulog. Madilim pa ay nagpapatuyo na ako ng buhok at nagpupumilit na takpan ng concealer ang ilalim ng mga mata para hindi gaanong mahalata ang pamamaga nito. Pagkatapos ay lumabas ako sa kwarto para bumaba at maghanap ng cafe. Sa una ay plano ko sanang bumili na lang ng canned coffee sa vending machine pero nang maalala ang nangyari doon kagabi ay mas piniling maghanap na lang ng ibang pagbibilhan. Isa pa, hindi naman ganoon kaganda ang mga kape sa vending machine.

Dahil maaga pa nga ako ay wala pang bukas na cafe sa baba. Napilitan tuloy akong lumabas sa building at maghanap ng malapit na cafe.

May mga tao na na naglalakad sa paligid nang lumabas ako. Lahat sila ay may mga suot na coat o 'di kaya'y sweater dahil malamig nga naman talaga. Katulad sa karamihan, ipinasok ko rin ang mga kamay sa loob ng bulsa ng coat bago sinimulang maglakad.

It took me time to finally find a good cafe. Paano ba naman kasi ay mababagal ang mga hakbang ko dahil natutuwa sa panonood sa mga iba't ibang palamuti sa paligid. Even just the mere building lights mesmerized me. I just can't help it, I find it so beautiful.

I ordered a cappuccino, just making sure that I won't feel sleepy later. Sinamahan ko na rin iyon ng cinnamon roll at tahimik na naghintay.

Naabutan ako ng pagsikat ng araw bago nakabalik sa hotel na tinutuluyan. Nag-iwan naman ako ng note no'ng umalis ako kanina para hindi sila magtaka kaya alam kong hindi na nila ako hahanapin kung gising na rin sila ngayon.

I went back to our room and found them all, still sleeping. Bumalik na lang din ako sa pagkakahiga at sinubukang matulog ngunit hindi talaga ako dinadalaw ng antok.

I sighed but nevertheless, still stayed on the bed and closed my eyes, drowning myself into thoughts.

Sa pag-iisip ko, doon lang ata tuluyang rumihestro sa isipan ko na talang apat na buwan na ako na nagtatrabaho sa BigHit. Sa loob ng apat na buwan na iyon, marami na ang nangyari at marami na rin akong nalaman. Nagkaroon ako ng mga bagong kaibigan, bagong tinutuluyan, at bagong kinahihiligan. I also found out a lot of additional traits of BTS. And that includes that they are capable of loving someone, too.

Noon kasi, pakiramdam ko ay sobrang busy lang sila sa career nila at wala nang tiyempo pa sa mga bagay na ganoon. I was very confident that it was the situation that time. Not until the world brought us closer to each other. I found out things that were disregarded and unnoticed.

Years ago, I really thought that my feelings for Jungkook wasn't something too deep to the point that I would hung myself if ever he gets married to someone else. Noon pa man, tanggap ko na na walang pag-asang ako ang pakakasalan niya. I even had the thought that they'll dispart without me seeing them in person. And when I took the job, everything went fucked up.

I found out that my feelings for him was not just a mere infatuation. I love him dearly that when I found out that he's in love with someone else, I got hurt. But I don't remember myself crying even once. Well, that's maybe because I was good at handling my feelings.

I also found out that he's nothing close to what he was in front of the camera. He rarely smiles but he's nice, and he always have that serious stares that always gets me immobile. It was the kind of stares that would immediately send my heart flying through the clouds.

He has a mature thinking and attitude, completely different from the other guys who take things easily and take everything lightly. He's caring, too. Well, all of them are. It's just that... I took my time watching him that everything he does was a known thing for me.

Huminga ako nang malalim at bumangon na lang. Umepekto na nga talaga yata ang kape dahil kahit anong gawin ko, kahit saang banda ako humarap, hindi pa rin ako dalawin ng antok.

For the next two remaining days, we went out separate with the guys. We went to museums which I loved the most from all the places we went. We had gone shopping things and accessories. We watched a lot of plays. And we took a lot of pictures that'll serve as a memory.

It was an amazing experience. That moment that won't be easily forgotten. That moment that would certainly last. I think it was mainly because it was my first time in New York. I was deeply mesmerized and delightful from all the experiences.

When we flew back to Seoul, we were back to our normal and usual days. We had a rest for three days. Most of the time, I would spend the day with Kevin and Natasha, the woman he likes.

She was a model too but in different agency. She's pretty tall and fair, but not as tall as Kevin. She has chinky eyes and an attractive dimples. That's no wonder why Kevin likes her.

It was actually weird and awkward to be with them. Nagmumukha akong thirdwheel at ganoon naman talaga. Minsan pa nga ay tumanggi na akong sumama sa lakad nilang dalawa but Natasha seemed to be so fond of me that she wanted me to be with them all the time. Natatawa na nga ako kay Kevin sa tuwing nagtatampo siya dahil pakiramdam niya raw ay ako ang gusto ni Natasha. So to ease his stupid and useless conclusion, I decided to make up a lot of reasons just so I could be reasonable for not going with them. And take note, I really did a long list for that.

I got myself busy doing video calls with my family. I also frequent the bar, now on my own, and without Chae Soo and Sae Young. Kung minsan pa, nakaupo lang ako roon sa bench na kung saan kita ang Namsan Tower.

When I was back to work, it was the same usual routine. I would woke up early to take a thirty-minute jog. After that, I would get ready for work. After work, I would either go directly home or I would find something entertaining to do.

It was near Jungkook's birthday. I was treating him and Yeri the same way— elusive but not entirely avoiding them.

Pumasok ako sa conference room. Nagpatawag ng meeting ngayon dahil nga nalalapit nang mag resign si Yeir. Until now, hindi ko pa rin talaga alam ang totoong dahilan kung bakit siya titigil sa trabaho niya rito. Pero kahit hindi ko man aminin, alam kong may pakiramdam na ako sa totoong dahilan niya.

It is a considerable possibility that she'll resign because she wants to stay away from Jungkook because as what I know, it is an unrequited and one-sided love. Maybe she doesn't want Jungkook to bug her anymore or maybe she just wants Jungkook to be free and to move on. She would be nice if her reason was the latter.

However, I cannot prohibit her the benefit of the doubt. Baka naman kasi hindi talaga iyon ang dahilan niya. Maybe she has another more important reason for resigning. Well, whatever it is, I don't really care. So why am I thinking about it like it's a big deal, anyway?

Nang makapasok ako sa conference room, kakaunti pa lang kaming naroon. It's understandable since it's still early. May sampung minuto pa bago ang nakatakdang oras ng meeting. However, minutes have passed until it surpassed the supposed time, Yeri hasn't showed herself. Parang wala lang naman iyon noong una dahil ilang minuto pa lang naman ang nakalipas ngunit nang umabot na iyon sa dalawampung minuto, napagpasyahan ko nang lumabas na muna para pumunta sa banyo. Baka may inaasikaso pa siya kaya natagalan.

I retouched my simple makeup in front of the vanity mirror. When I was done, I washed my hands and searched for my mom's number and dialled it.

"Hello, Ma?"

"Oh?" So cold as ever.

I heaved a silent sigh.

"Kumusta po kayo?"

"Mabuti. Ikaw riyan?"

"Okay lang din naman po. Si Papa po, kumusta?"

"Okay lang din sila. Sige na, Tryza, may gagawin pa ako," she said and I felt down immediately.

"Ma, galit pa rin ba kayo sa 'kin?"

Hindi siya sumagot.

"Mama..." I was close to crying. I'm really not used to this, and I don't think I will ever be!

I heard her sigh on the line.

"Mama, sorry na po," I talked again.

"Mag-usap tayo mamaya pagkatapos ng trabaho mo, Tryza. Sa ngayon, may gagawin pa ako kaya kailangan ko nang ibaba 'to," she dismissed me but I already sensed an emotion to her voice.

"Sige po, Ma. I love you."

Nang matapos ang tawag, napabuntong hininga na lang ako bago itinago sa bag ang cellphone.

When I was about to turn the knob, I heard a bang on it like something hit it. Kinabahan ako bigla dahil baka kung ano ang nasa labas ng pintuan o baka nai-lock ako sa loob kaya mabilis ko iyong binuksan para lang mapanlakihan ng mga mata at mapaawang ang labi sa naabutan.

It was Jungkook and Yeri kissing behind the door!