The schedule went busy and hectic for the next week. We were in New York for their show guesting and it was such a bad timing to have a jet lag.

For the past days, I have been elusive to Jungkook and Yeri. Well, I am not completely avoiding them but I just feel that I should put space in between the three of us.

I realized Jungkook loves Yeri truly. And with the intensity of his feelings, I don't think he would ever find a way out. He's not willing to get out of it. He's trapped himself and he's fine with it. And I don't like that. I don't want to associate myself with a man who only looks for one woman. It will break me.

Kasalukuyan akong nagkahiga sa nakalaang kwarto sa amin sa isang kilalang hotel. Nasa show na ang BTS kaya nabigyan ako ng pagkakataong magpahinga.

They plan to stay here for three days so they can roam around and shop for things. Sa tingin ko naman ay makakabawi na ako sa jet lag sa loob ng tatlong araw na iyon.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look fine," Kevin asked when we were facetiming.

Wala siyang trabaho sa araw na iyon at magde-date raw sila noong nililigawan niya. That was actually the reason why he waited for me the last time. Remember when he told me that he needed my opinion about something? It was about picking up a nice clothes for his date.

I remember laughing at him that night. Inis na inis siya sa 'kin dahil pinagtatawanan ko siya. Paano ba naman kasi, first time ko siyang makitang ma-concious sa sinusuot niya.

To be honest, he looks good in everything he wears. Wala naman atang damit na hindi babagay sa kaniya dahil kahit gaano pa ata kapangit ang damit niya, bawing-bawi pa rin sa katawan at mukha. Kaya tuloy natatawa ako dahil pakiramdam niya kailangan niya pang mag-ayos para maging presentable at attractive sa mata ng kikitain niya. I don't know why he's like that when he's actually normally handsome and attractive without even trying.

"Hey, are you even listening?" He blurted out. "You know what, you should take a nap so you'll regain strength." He didn't sound worried but sarcastic.

I rolled my eyes. "Salamat sa pag-aalala, ha," I sarcastically answered him, too.

He laughed. "You're welcome. But really, take a nap now. I have to go."

I smirked. "Alright. Good luck sa date! Ma-busted ka sana."

He glared at me so I laughed and quickly turned the call off. Napailing na lang ako nang maibaba ang cellphone.

I really did took a nap. Actually not just a nap but a long sleep. It was around seven p.m. when I woke up. That only means that I haven't eaten my lunch so I decided to go out and grab some food.

Wala ang mga kasama ko sa kwarto at nag-email lang sa akin na umalis sila para mamasyal. Sa labas na lang din daw sila magdi-dinner kaya ako lang mag-isa.

Hindi pa rin maayos ang pakiramdam ko bagaman nabawasan na nang kaunti ang pagkakahilo.

I went down the lobby and tried to find some restaurant. I was on my skinny jeans, double breasted trench coat, and ankle strap. When I found an Italian restaurant, I immediately went inside and ordered food.

Naghahanap ako ng mauupuan nang biglang may tumawag sa akin. Nagulat ako nang paglingon ay nakita ang BTS sa isang malapad na lamesa. Kompleto silang pito sa lamesang iyon ngunit may tatlo pang bakanteng upuan.

"Hey, come join us!" Jin invited me.

"Ah, I'll just find another-" Hindi ko na naipagpatuloy ang dapat na pagtanggi nang tumayo na si Jimin at hinatak ako papunta sa lamesa nila.

Wala akong nagawa kun'di ang umupo kasama sila. Jimin was on my right side and RM on my left. Jungkook was on the center of the table, looking powerful and dominant.

I consciously looked around, afraid that people may recognize them. Baka ma-issue pa sila dahil nandito ako nakaupo sa lamesa nila.

"Don't worry. No one will see us," RM assured me when he saw me looking around.

Napatango na lang ako kahit hindi masyadong kumbinsido.

Their foods were already served while I'm still waiting for mine. Nakakahiya pa dahil pinili pa nilang hintayin ang order ko kahit na sinabihan ko silang mauna na sa pagkain.

This will be the first time I'll be having dinner with all of them, alone. And I can't help but to feel special again.

Nang magsimula na kami sa pagkain ay hindi na naman matigil ang pagku-kwentuhan nila. They seemed happy about the show they guested. Ako naman ay tahimik lang na nakikinig. They sometimes include me to their conversation too, but I was not very responsive because I still don't feel good.

"Tryza..." I heard Suga's voice.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at naabutang lahat sila ay nakatingin na sa akin. My heart skipped a beat. Did I miss something?

"Sorry. Uh, did you call me?"

"I said, you don't seem to look fine. Are you okay?"

"Oh..." My mouth formed an O. I was a bit uncomfortable because all their eyes were focused on me. "I'm just having jet lag."

"Then, shouldn't you be sleeping?" Jimin barged in.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya ngunit bago iyon, nadaanan pa muna ng mata ko si Jungkook. As usual, he has another serious stare.

"I did. I just went down to eat," I politely said.

"I see. But still, you should get more sleep."

"Yeah, that's my plan," I answered while smiling.

Ilang sandali ay nawala na sa akin ang usapan. Naibaling na sa ibang topiko ang pinag-uusapan nila kaya muli akong tumahimik. However, I cannot seem to enjoy my peace because I can feel three pairs of eyes constantly watching me. It was the maknae line's.

Minadali ko ang pagkain para maunang umalis sa kanila. I don't want to stay longer because Jungkook's stares seem to burn my soul. Hindi ko pa rin naman kasi nakakalimutang may mahal siyang iba. Ayaw ko namang isawsaw ang sarili ko. Ayaw ko ring ipagpilitan ang sarili sa lalaking hindi naman ako ang gusto.

Well, yes, I may have adored and loved him for years, but I have long accepted that fact that I may not be the one he'll marry. Sa dami ba naman naming nagugustuhan siya, he can just pick one and marry her. And I'm not stupid to think that it'll be me, because it won't be. Mas maraming mas maganda sa akin at mas maraming mas sexy at mas sophisticated.

Nagpaalam ako sa kanila na mauuna na ako. Hinayaan naman nila ako nang sinabi kong magpapahinga na ako para makabawi ng lakas.

I went out the restaurant and made my way into the elevator. Medyo malayo pa iyon dahil maraming paliko-liko rito kaya natagalan pa bago ako nakaliko sa daang papunta sa elevator. However, when I was about to turn, someone held my wrist and pulled me into a different direction.

Sa gulat ko ay hindi ako nakapagsalita. Nakaawang ang labi ko nang tingnan kung sino ang humila sa akin. It was Jungkook!

"Where are we going?" Nagmamadaling tanong ko, pilit sinasabayan ang mabilis na paglalakad niya.

Hindi siya sumagot kaya hinayaan ko na lang kahit pa naguguluhan. Nanatili ang mga mata ko sa kamay niyang nasa papulsuhan ko. It wasn't tight but it wasn't loose, as well.

Huminto kami sa isang drug store. Nagulat ako nang walang hinto-hinto siyang pumasok sa loob at dumiretso sa counter. It's a good thing he's wearing shades or people might recognize him.

He mentioned a name of a medicine and a bottled water. After he paid it, he dragged me out of the drug store and went to a nearby secluded bench. He handed me the bottled water and the medicine. I almost raised my brow if only I hadn't stopped myself.

"What's this for?" Halos hindi ko maitago ang katarayan sa boses nang magsalita.

"Drink it. It's a medicine for jet lag," he urged me.

I cleared my throat and nodded. Binuksan ko ang gamot at ang bottled water, slightly remembering a scene, and drank the medicine. Pagkatapos ay tumingin ako sa kaniya at naabutan siyang nakatingin din sa 'kin. Ilang sandali kaming nagtitigan, walang ni isang nangahas na magsalita, hanggang sa ako na mismo ang bumawi ng mga mata.

"Thank you," I told him while looking away.

"You're welcome," he answered and silence took over us again.

"You-"

"I'll go ahead. Thank you for the med." Matipid akong ngumiti at umalis na.

I bit my lower lip when I went inside the elevator. I feel bad for leaving him there. But I can't do anything about it. He makes things that make me fall for him even more deeper and I'm afraid that I may not pull myself up from it.

Isinaksak ko ulit sa isip ko na may mahal siyang iba. Na hindi na dapat ako umaasa dahil hindi naman mangyayaring ako ang mamahalin niya dahil may ibang nagmamay-ari sa puso niya. And well, of course, it hurts.

Pagdating ko sa kwarto namin ay wala pa rin ang mga kasama ko. I showered and changed into my pajamas and went to sleep again.

It was near midnight when I woke up. Nandoon na sina Sae Young at tulog na tulog na sa mga kani-kanilang kama.

I went out to find some drink because I can't sleep again. Malamang ay dahil iyon sa mahabang tulog ko kanina kaya hindi na ako makatulog. Sa natatandaan ko, may vending machine sa receiving area ng floor na ito kaya doon ako nagtungo.

Tahimik na at walang katao-tao sa paligid. Sinuyod ng mga mata ko ang laman ng vending machine at nang makakita ng soda ay kumuha na ng pera at isinuksok sa loob. I tapped the soda's button and when I was about to pick it from below, I saw a man's silhouette behind me.

Lumingon ako at nagulat nang makita si Jungkook na nakatingin din sa vending machine.

What the hell? Why do fate seems to enjoy torturing me?

"Banana milk?" I asked him. My voice echoed.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin sa akin at tumitig.

"Yeah," he huskily said. His eye's tender and soft. It looks like he just woke up, too.

Tumango ako at tumalikod sa kaniya para kuhanin ang soda sa ilalim. Pagkatapos ay muli akong naglagay ng barya sa machine at pinindot ang button para sa banana milk. Ako rin ang kumuha noon nang malaglag na sa ilalim at binigay sa kaniya.

He looked away with flushed cheeks after receiving the banana milk from me. My forehead creased. Nahihiya ba siyang binilhan ko siya ng banana milk?

"G-Gomawo," he stuttered.

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Are you okay? You look sick," puna ko nang mapansing namumula siya.

I tried to reach for his forehead but he pushed my hand away. Bahagya akong natigilan at napakurap.

"M-Mianhae... It's just..." He looked my way but immediately looked away.

Anong problema ng lalaking 'to?

"Your chest is showing."

My jaw dropped and my eyes quickly darted to my chest. Napatakip ako roon nang makitang tatlong butones pala ng damit ko ang nakabukas at malaking bahagi ng cleavage ko pati ang bra ang kita. Jesus!

Dali-dali kong ibinutones iyon at muling tinakpan kahit wala na namang nakikita. Namula ang pisngi ko nang magbalik ng tingin sa kaniya at naabutan siyang lumunok habang nag-iiwas ng tingin.

"E-Excuse me," I excused myself out of embarrassment and strode my way back my room.

I held into my chest after closing the door. I closed my eyes and felt my heart beating violently against my rib cage.

"Tryza, you're up-"

Naputol ang pagsasalita ni Chae Soo nang sumigaw ako dahil sa gulat.

"You startled me!" Gulat na sabi ko sa kaniya.

"You look like you've ran a hundred miles." She pointed me and laughed at my face.

"I'm... uh..." I looked at her, feeling guilty like I was caught doing something forbidden, and shook my head. "It's nothing."

Nilampasan ko siya at dumeretso sa kama ko. Umupo ako roon, wala pa rin sa sarili, at muling napahawak sa dibdib. Sumunod naman si Chae Soo at umupo sa harap ko. Nanunukso ang tingin niya sa akin at may nakakalukong ngisi sa labi.

"Did you make out with a man?"

"What?!"