Chapter Thirty One

Millie's P.O.V.

After I watch Hayes walk out my room, I stay on the floor, thinking about what I have done.

I still don't know why I did it. He was just so close to me and his warmth and his smell brought back memories. Memories I thought I would forget about but I didn't.

I sigh. What have I done?

I rub my temples. I'm so stupid. There's no telling what is running through Hayes's head. For all I know, he can be thinking there's a chance for us to be together again.

Is there? The voice asks.

I don't know...

I just got over him and moved on with..

Kyle! I'm still with Kyle and I just kissed my ex boyfriend. I smack my forehead with the palm of my hand.

Way to go Millie. I tell myself, bitterly.

Why did I have to kiss him? It was a short, brief kiss but there's no denying it. I felt something. Something that screamed run away!

As soon as I felt that little warning, I pulled away from Hayes. I knew from the very beginning Hayes was a player and could break my heart any time he wanted to but yet, I fell for his acts and I fell in love with him.

It doesn't matter who I'm with, Hayes will always hold his grip on me. No matter if it's a small one or a big one. And as much as I want to deny it, I can't.

Hayes takes me places I'm scared to be in. It's dangerous. But with Kyle I feel safe. I know he won't hurt me. That's why I choose to be with him. Everything will Kyle is easy and simple and not hard and complicated.

If I tell Kyle I kissed Hayes he will hate me. And call me selfish all you want but I don't want to lose him either. He's a good person.

If he is a good person, you need to tell him before he finds out. The voice says.

I shake my head as I bite my lower lip. I can't. I can't do it. I know it's wrong of me to keep Kyle and use him but I really do like him but...

You love Hayes. The voice finishes for me.

That might be true but I can't be Hayes. He used me and manipulated me. He doesn't love me. Not the way I love him and probably never will.

I decide not to tell him. What Kyle doesn't know won't kill him.

I get up off the floor and head to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes and step into the hot water. I let the water run down my body before washing off.

I cut the shower off and dry myself off with a towel before putting on a long t-shirt and baggy sweats. I put my hair up in a messy bun before laying in my bed.

I stare at the ceiling for a while before I let my eyes close.

That's when I hear a soft music playing.

Hayes' P.O.V.

"Just tell her." Reid says. "If you don't say anything soon, she really will lose feelings for you."

Reid makes it sound so easy to express your feelings but it isn't. Well not to me anyway. Hours past by since Millie last kissed me and I can't get it out my mind.

"I know but I don't know how to say it."

Reid gives me a are-you-kidding-me face. He holds up three fingers as he says. "Three words. I love you. It's that simple."

"Maybe for you." I argue.

I'm not the type of guy who goes around saying I love you everyday. Hell, I don't even remember saying it once in my life. That's just me. I never said it because I never been in love. I didn't plan on falling in love. Especially not with Millie.

"Okay I get it. You don't like expressing your feelings but for once do it. It might get you somewhere."

I cock an eyebrow. "Like what?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Millie loves music so play a love song for her or something."

"Do you really believe it might work?"

He nods his head. "Yeah I do. You might not notice it but I see the way she looks at you. She might be happy with Kyle but it isn't the same happy when she was with you."

I look at Reid. "I hope you're right about this." I say, standing to my feet.

"Where are you going?" He asks when I open the door.

"To do something I never done before." I tell him walking out the door.

I walk to my room and flick on the lights. I head to my closet and pull out a black case. No one knows I have this not even Abe. He knows about the piano because he's the one who gave me the room but the guitar is a secret.

Every now and then I would play it. Something about it made me feel closer to her. Years ago, I would never admit to playing an instrument to let out your feelings. I turned to fighting. It seemed to work. I let out all my frustration and anger by physical contact but Abe showed me another way.

It helped for the most part. I had a better understandment to why she turned to music for her escape place. When your playing or singing you somehow forgot the world around you and everything and everyone in it.

When she sings, it makes me happy. Especially when she is happy. She doesn't know it but when she sings I'm captivated by her. My eyes can't help but to look at her. And it has nothing to do with her being the siren. It's her. All her.

I pick up the guitar and I sigh. I really hope this will work.

I walk out my room and outside the guardian's building. It's dark outside and there's not a lot of guardians outside yet. This is the only chance I have if I didn't want to get caught.

I quickly make my way to her balcony and take in a deep breath.

Here goes nothing. She either forgives me or rejects me. I pray for the former.

I begin to the stroke the guitar lightly but loud enough for she can hear it. I see the French door open and then Millie's head peeks over the ledge.

She frowns. "Hayes? What are you doing?"

"Just listen, please." I beg her.

She doesn't say anything because I don't give her a chance to before I begin to sing.

Millie's P.O.V.

I didn't know what to expect when I walked outside onto my balcony but it sure wasn't Hayes playing a guitar or much less singing to to me.

God, he has a beautiful voice. My knees goes weak from it and I'm glad I'm holding onto the ledge or else I would've fell.

His eyes never leaves mine as he sings.

If I had the moment
I'd capture that moment
And you'd be right here next to me
If I had the secret
The secret to you love
I'd place the treasure beneath my heart
Lock it all up
And throw away the key
I would never give it up

I don't know what he's doing or why he's singing to me but I know if I don't leave right now, I'll be in trouble. Yet, I can't move. I'm compel to listen to him.

Cause I was just a fool
A fool for you
When I loved you so childishly
And I want it all back
I want it all
I want it all
Girl I want it all back
You never miss a good thing til it's gone
I want it all
Now I want it back

Hayes is singing to get me back. This is his way of saying sorry to me. I can see it in his eyes that he means every word that he is saying. My heart cheers for him but my head is saying no.

If there's a green light
And it's about to turn yellow
Pedal to the floor
Cause I know you're heart is turning red
If I had the minutes
I'd turn them into hours
And make love to your mind
Not your body instead

He's telling me he wants to start all over again and love me the right way and not use me but he knows he's running out of time. But by the looks of it, he has plenty of time.

Are you kidding me! My heart yells at me. He has all the time in the world. I mean are you listening to his voice.

I'll admit. Hayes has the voice of an angel. It'll melt your whole body with one note. And I swear if he was a song, I'll break the rewind button. I'd never get tired of listening to him.

Hayes finish the song. "Millie. Please give me another chance. I swear to you, I'm not using you."

Say yes. My heart urges. Do it!

Don't do it. My head argues. He's lying to you. He doesn't mean it.

I look at Hayes as I shake my head. Tears wells in my eyes and I will them back it. I can't do it.

"Don't cry." Hayes tells me. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."

"I-I can't do it Hayes." I whisper. "Not again."

I step back and he calls for me but I don't listen.

The following morning is awkward to say the least. The silence between Hayes and I is so thick a knife can cut through it and it would still be silent.

I keep my eyes focus on the ground as we walk to the school. Reid and Lily left way before we did because I woke up late. I made a mental note to wake up early so I won't have to go through this embarrassing walk with him again.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Hayes staring straight ahead of him. He gives no sign of being embarrassed or hurt that I denied him. In fact, he shows no emotions whatsoever.

Look at what you did? My heart scolds at me. You hurt him.

I shake my head. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt him. I just...I couldn't go through that pain again.

Don't listen to her. My mind warns me. She's the reason why you fell for him, a player, in the first place.

You should know better than anyone, that you were on the same level as me. We both fell him. My heart reminds my mind. Give him another chance.

Don't do it Millie. She's wants you to get hurt again. How many more times does your heart have to break before you realize you never will make him fall in love you with?

As my heart and mind have a battle, I can't think or feel anything. I want quiet but that obviously isn't going to happen with a battle going on within me. It feels like my mind is the devil and my heart is an angel.

The devil is strong and persuasive and the angel is brave and so sweet. The devil doesn't want me to be with Hayes kind of like Sophie, and he fills me head with negative thoughts while the angel, she, wants me to be with Hayes just like, Lily, and fills me heart with warm positive feelings.

I don't know who to side with. They both had strong points but neither one of them had a point more powerful than the other and that's what stopping me from being with Hayes.

I might not be with him but he's still part of my life. He's still my guardian, my protector.

And that's something I don't know if I want to change or not.

I'm pull out my thoughts when Kyle slings his arm over my shoulder. I glance at him and he gives me a full smile and I return a weak one.

Last night pours in my head. I kissed Hayes and then Hayes sung to be about his feelings for me. I try not to dwell on it but there is a sense of panic in me that Hayes will tell Kyle what happened.

But when I sneak a peek at Hayes, he is no where near us instead he is standing some feet away from us, staring blankly, lost in thoughts, at a sword showcased in the school. The sword is one of the weapons that fought for our planet years ago.

"Hey are you okay?"

Kyle brings me out my thoughts again. I look at him and give him a tiny nod. "Yeah. I'm fine just lost in my thoughts."

His brown eyes stares into my hazel ones. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head. "No. It's nothing, really."

"Okay..." He trails off. "But if you change your mind, let me know."

I nod.

"Millie"

My head turns in the direction my name was being called from. I spot Sophie, along with Lily and Reid, heading towards us.

"Yeah?" I say.

I can see Lily glance at Hayes, who's still staring at the sword, then back at me with a worried expression. I know she wanted to say something but she doesn't. Reid stares at me and something flickered through his eyes before it vanished. He leaves the group and goes to stand by Hayes.

"I thought you weren't suppose to be in school until next week?" Sophie asks.

"I know but I feel better." I tell her.

"If you say so" She shrugs. "Well I guess I should tell you about what Mr. Dean told us yesterday."

"What is it?"

"He's gonna be picking people randomly each day to perform but the assignment is gonna be different each time." She informs me.

"Okay that's not bad."

"Yes it is!" She exclaims. "How are we suppose to practice for it when we don't know what to practice for."

"Sophie calm down." I tell her. "Mr. Dean knows what he's doing."

She's about to say something but the bell, signalling school has started, rings.

Kyle presses a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see ya later, alright?"

"Alright" I tell him.

Kyle walks away from me and heads to his class on the other side of the school with Sophie while Lily and I head down the hall to our class.

Lily drops her voice, so I'm the only one who can hear her. "You have some explaining to do. And don't you dare say you don't wanna talk about it or it's nothing because I know something happened and you're telling me."

Rather than saying something, I nod my head as I take my seat.

For some unknown reason, time seems to move quickly, too quick, for my liking but it's because of the upcoming question I dread. I know Lily wanted to know why Hayes fell in an emotionless stage but I didn't want to tell her the reason behind it. Sure, Lily is perfectly fine with me being with Kyle. Granted, she didn't like him at first because of her vision but Kyle proved himself worthy when he stood up for me against Steve in front of the whole school some weeks ago but she likes the idea of Hayes and I together even more.

She might not have been there to witness us fall in love, well me fall in love, but she isn't blind nor does she had to be the seer to see how much I loved him and how much he cared for me or so she says he cares for me.

Right now, I don't know if he really did love me or even like me but he feels something for me that's obvious.

"Millie start explaining" Lily's voice pulls me out my thoughts.

I blink before I realize where we are. We are standing in the locker room alone. Muffled voices can be heard through the thick door but you can't hear what they are saying.

I glance at my sister and she has her arms cross over her chest and an eyebrow raise, waiting for me explain.

I sigh, heavily. "I don't even know where to start." I admit. Too many things happened to get an exactly pinpoint of how all this complication happened.

"Well start from the beginning." She suggests. "Start with the moment after I left"

I chew on my bottom lip, trying to get a grip on my thoughts. "Well...it just kind of happened." I shrug. "Right after you left my room, I was scared and Hayes was there to comfort me and I don't know..." I shrug again. "It just brought back memories I guess and I just kissed him."

Her eyes widen."You kissed him?"

I nod. "Yes."

"What- what did you feel?"

"I felt everything. I felt happy, warm, blissful...scared." I say. "Then I felt this tiny doubt and a warning telling me to run and I pulled away him."

"What happened after that?

"I told him, I don't know why I did that and he said it's okay before leaving me alone in my room."

"Well apparantly it wasn't okay." She points out. "He's obviously hurt by your words. If you love him, you need to tell him."

I shake my head, ignoring her last sentence. "That's not why he's hurt."

"Then why is he hurt?"

"Around midnight or so, I heard a guitar playing outside my window so I went on my balcony to see what is was and that when I saw him playing a guitar." I tell her. "I was surprised and shocked."

"Aww he played a love song for you." Lily gushes.

"More like, he sang to me."

Lily eyes widen again. "No way! He sung to you! Millie what the hell is with you?!"

I place my head in my hands as I shake my head. "I don't know...I just couldn't bear going through be unloved again."

"Oh my poor sister." Lily voice drowns in disappointment. "How can you not know or feel his love for you. Hayes could never hurt you that way you have been before."

"You don't know that."

She nods. "I do and so do you. You're just afraid to admit it. I bet if you gave him a chance to explain everything, you'd understand."

A knock on the door, breaks our conversation.

"Are you guys okay?" Reid asks.

"Yeah." Lily tells him. "We're coming out." She looks at me. "At least let him explain himself before you end up regretting it."

I don't know, if I can let him explain his reason behind this but I owe it to Hayes to hear him out without interrupting him. We walk out the locker room and everyone is either playing a game or sitting around talking. Guardian Lynn has yet to arrive so this is a good of a time to talk to Hayes.

But when I scan my eyes for him, he's no where in sight.

Hayes' P.O.V.

"Are you sure about this man?" Reid asks me for the hundreth times.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"It'll get better." He promises. "She'll realize she loves you as much as you do. Just wait it out."

I shake my head. "Not here. Not when she's with him."

I can't do it. I can't watch her be with him while my heart breaks. I had to leave and hope for the best.

Reid gives me a sad look. His eyes aren't bright and mischievous as usual but dim and sad for me. He's about to say something but I beat him.

"There's nothing you can say to change my mind, Reid."

"I know." He says. "I was just gonna tell you I'm here for."

I nod my head at him before walking out the gym and head outside the cold to make one life changing phone call. One that would possible make my heart shatter but keep me from going insane from watching her.

He picks up on the second ring.

"Hayden what is it?" Abe's voice is laced with concern as it fills my ear.

I suck in a breath before I respond. I made an oath years ago to protect her with everything and from all cost and right now I'm about to break it.