Chapter Fourteen

I sit cross-legged on my bed, thinking about what I can write about for the bash. I still had weeks before it arrived but the way my schedule is set up, I need to start on early or I'll be behind.

Mr. Dean told me to pick an emotion and start with that but I'm feeling hurt and betrayed. I can't write about that. I could but this is a bash not a pour your heart out party. I don't want anyone to know what happened to me, either. Who knows what Ava would spread about me. I don't need her constantly reminding me of how hurt I am every second she sees me.

I need to find a common ground everyone could relate to or could try to relate to.

As I begin to write, I noticed how everything relates to him. No matter how many times I mark out a verse, and write another one it goes back to him. I close my eyes and exhale.

I open my eyes and look at the five marked out lines. Maybe I should just write a song about him. He doesn't know how I feel and he deserve to.

I can make it into a hate song but still make it say everything I've been wanting to say.

But the only problem is, once I write it, I can't go back on my words. He needs to know that I'm getting over him. Slowly but surely. I think back to our joyful time and how it felt to be with him and how happy I use to be. It didn't seem like he was capable of doing something like this but I was wrong. And every moment I spent with him hurt. I think back to the day he took me to the beach and how he told me how he felt about me.

It was the day, I felt like I shouldn't fall deeper for him if we were just a fling. He told me he loved everything about me and how what he felt was real. I had more to offer than most girls and how lucky he was to have me.

I should've known it was all a lie. How stupid can I be? He never loved me or liked for all that matter. I should've knew when we made that dumb bet, it was just a game to him.

There's a light knock on the door. I look up, expecting my twin sister but instead it's the guy who stabbed my heart.

I narrow my eyes. "What do you want?" My voice goes cold.

He flinches from my cold tone but he quickly hides his emotions. "You've been in here for half the day and Abe wanted me to check up on you."

I roll my eyes. Of course Abe would sent Hayes to check on me. "I'm fine. No thanks to you." I mutter the last part but he hears it.

"If you would let me explain-"

I put my hand up, stopping him. "I don't want to hear your pathetic excuse." I say. "You knew my heart was aleady broken and yet you had no problem crushing it. I hate you."

I'm not sure if I meant it or not but he seem to be effected by it.

"No you don't." He calmly states.

I look away from him, not trusting myself to not give anything away. "Just leave me alone."

"Millie-" He tries again.

"Leave" I say with much hate as I could mustered.

It was one word but that one word was filled with venom and ice. I hear Hayes' footsteps retreat.

It isn't long until, Lou walks into the room smiling big.

"I just finished your costume for the bash." She squeals, gripping the bag that my costume is in. "Do you want to see it?"

I don't. I really just want to be alone but I'm not going to ruin her happy mood because of my horrible one. So instead, I plastered a big smile on my face and nod my head.

"Sure."

I'm looking at the costume but I'm not noticing it. I nod my head every now and then to let her know I'm listening even though I'm not.

Soon Lou leaves, after hanging my costume up in the closet. I'm not sure how long I've been sitting on my bed but it's long enough that my stomach rumbles.

I get up and head to the dining room when most of everyone is at. I sit beside Lily and she smiles.

"Look who decided to emerge from the dead."She jokes.

I roll my eyes as I fill my plate. "I've been working on my song."

She nods her head. "I know. I walked by your room and saw you lost in your thoughts."

Reid and Hayes sits across from us and I push my chair back. I can't be in the same room as him.

"I'm done." I inform Lily.

She glances down at my barely touched food. "You didn't-"

"I'm not hungry." I lie.

Why couldn't he sit somewhere else. I look around the table and realized those were the only seats available.

"You know you don't have to leave." Hayes says.

"Actually I do."

"Come on, Mil. "Reid says. "I won't take your food this time."

Instead of responding back I get up and walk out the huge dining room only to have Abe follow me.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

He doesn't believe me. "What's going on between you and Hayden?"

"Hay-" I correct myself. "Guardian Cipriano and I are fine."

He's about to say something but I beat him. "I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

I walk away and head to my room. I take a shower before crawling into bed.

As hard as I tried to fall asleep, I couldn't. My mind kept wondering and I kept tossing and turning. Finally I couldn't handle it anymore, I throw the cover off me and get up.

I'm not sure where I'm going but I walk around the huge headquarter. There's a side I haven't been on and I started to explore.

I try to be as quiet as I can, without waking anyone up. There's a lot of rooms and I couldn't open them because, I didn't know if someone is sleeping in there.

I keep walking down the long hallway until I see a double door. I grab the knob and twist it open. I search for the lights once I step inside. I find it and the bright light blinds me for a moment before my eyes adjusts to it.

I close the door slightly before noticing the grand panio sitting in the middle of the room. This must be Abe's room. The panio looks similar to the one he played on at Allison's funeral.

I sit down on the wooden bench and immediately my hands fly up to the white and black keys.

I'm singing before I realize what I'm singing about.

Hayes' P.O.V.

I can't sleep even though my body protest. I open my eyes and stare at utter darkness. I know the reason why I couldn't sleep but I don't want to admit it to myself. I couldn't admit it.

She hates me. I know she was stubborn back on Arysn but now she's ten times worse on Earth. Why couldn't I have just been a friend? That's right. I'm a jackass. The day I told her I was just using her, I was trying to tell her how I felt about her. But now thinking back to that day, I sounded like a complete jerk. It's no wonder why she wouldn't let me finish explaining.

Her words from earlier hurts me. I never thought her voice could hold so much hatred. She resents me.

Lucas. He isn't helping either. She likes him. Of course she does. He makes her smile. That thought alone makes me mad. I should be the one making her smile and laugh. Not him.

I get out of my bed and walk out the cold room. I don't know where I'm going but I know I can't be in there, thinking about her.

I'm about to head to the kitchen when I hear a light noise. I turn my head and see light shining through the dark. I head down the hall. Who the hell is in my room?

I knew I should've locked it after I left. As soon as I'm about to open the door, the piano begins to play. Seconds later she begins to sing. I didn't have to see her to know it was Millie. Her soft voice, carries to me.

Numb me down to the core
Cause love don't live here anymore
Yeah oh yeah

She's hurt and I feel horrible. She shouldn't feel this way because of my mistake.

We fought hard but we lost the war
Without you what am I living for
Yeah oh yeah

And I know that I can't take back all the things are dead
But if I had one wish
I would wish for one more chance
Some where fear took all control
And that when I turned cold
Would you give me one more chance

She's not asking for me to give her another chance. She's asking love to stop bringing her down and give her another chance. Everytime she keeps giving love a chance it stabs her in the back. First her ex boyfriend, Jason, cheated on her and then I had to rip her heart out.

She doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve none of this. I hate myself for making her feel this way. I couldn't help her and it's all my fault.