[ xxxv. only one way to go ]

july 2nd, 2012

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ASTRID LANCASTER WAS GOING home.

Her fingertips grazed the concealed, sharpened set of scissors within her shirt sleeve. She and Beth Greene followed in the wake of Dawn Lerner and her solid brigade of police officers, a procession heading toward the exchange point located on the ground floor of Grady Memorial Hospital.

As they soon came to a sudden halt in one of many barren hallways, Astrid's eyes squinted, peering through the small, square windows carved at the top of the looming double doors ahead. Her heart quickened when she recognized the unmistakable figure leading the group beyond the threshold—none other than Rick Grimes, and closely behind, the love of her life, Daryl Dixon.

Silently, both sides carefully holstered their weapons, over a dozen heartbeats standing at the precipice of an uneasy truce. Amongst the ranks of Rick and Daryl, were Tyreese, Sasha, Carol, and Noah. In Rick and Daryl's iron grasps were the officers to be traded.

Upon Dawn's signal, Astrid passed through the double doors. The corridor ahead acted as a no man's land, separating the two groups by a mere ten feet now. Several officers cleared a path, allowing Astrid and Beth to step closer, finding their places behind the policewoman. Astrid's hand intertwined tightly with Beth's.

Of the many faces at the opposite end of the darkened hall, the Lancaster woman's stare remained steadfast on Daryl. She decided then that she would never lose sight of him again, after this day. In the depths of her heart, she knew that he held the same, as she observed the subtle tremors coursing through his body, his hands practically itching to hold her.

Rick's clear, cautious voice soon wrenched Astrid from her contemplation. "They haven't been harmed," He assured Dawn, gesturing towards the bound hostages at his side.

Yet, in complete dismissal, the woman in charge wore a mask of concern, her stare focused elsewhere. "Where's Lamson?" She questioned.

Had Dawn been expecting three officers instead of two? Astrid's assumption that something had gone awry was almost instantly answered as the female hostage at Rick's side provided an explanation. "Rotters got him," She disclosed quietly.

"We saw it go down," The male hostage confirmed.

Dawn swallowed uneasily. "Oh," She murmured. "I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys." Then, with a sharp shift in focus, Dawn turned her attention back to Astrid and captured her arm. "One of yours for one of mine," She addressed to Rick.

"All right," The former sheriff concurred with a decisive nod. Then he turned to his right-hand man. "Go," He commanded.

Daryl reacted swiftly and set forward, dragging the male hostage with him, as Dawn began guiding Astrid to meet him in the middle. Daryl hastily pushed the man towards his designated side of the hall, while Dawn presented Astrid to the hunter's care. Endless words reflected in both of their eyes. Daryl's strong arm immediately encircled her waist, pulling her urgently to his side, and he ushered her back to the protective circle of their group.

As they rejoined the others, Rick briefly enveloped Astrid in a tight embrace all his own. She accepted his touch easily now, in an unspoken reassurance that, despite all that had happened between them, their bond remained unshaken. What had occurred in the past seemed so miniscule, when on the edge of such dangerous times. After all, he would always be her friend, in the end.

Once released from Rick's hold, Daryl claimed Astrid's full attention. In a heartbeat, she was pulled into his solid chest, and her own arms wrapped securely around his neck. Her body trembled with both relief and longing, and her lips pressed against his neck, inhaling deeply, her breath intermingling with his scent. With his strong, clinging hands resting at the small of her back, he held her close, front-to-front. As his head nuzzled hers, his lips whispered in her ear, "I love you, too."

Pulling back slightly, Astrid stared into her hunter's eyes. Her hands cupped his face, caressing his cheeks, tracing the cuts and bruises that had torn his features in the course of only a few days. Her surprise was evident in her expression, but Daryl only nodded, a silent pledge to her in a thousand different ways. They were not done. They were as strong as ever. They had always been that way.

Before Astrid could utter another response, more sets of footsteps interrupted the intimate moment. She turned in Daryl's arms, his hands anchoring her at the hips, to witness Rick's encounter with Dawn once more. Meeting in the middle, Rick passed the female hostage over in exchange for Beth. Now, he clutched the teenage girl close, squeezing her with a fatherly affection, and allowed her to cross back to their side.

As the exchange neared its conclusion, the young blonde joined Astrid's side, and their hands intertwined once more. Rick, too, began walking back towards them. There would be no final words. They were done with Grady Memorial Hospital. Astrid and her group prepared to move backward and out the exit's double doors when a familiar, icy drone of a voice pierced the air, halting them in their tracks. "Glad we could work things out," Dawn called, yet her words sounded less than sincere.

"Yeah," Rick responded with a terse nod, acknowledging the hollowness of the sentiment.

With Beth still held securely in one hand and Daryl still glued at her hip, Astrid turned to leave, only to be arrested by Dawn once more. "Now, I just need Noah," She interjected casually. "And then you can leave."

Frozen in place, Astrid's head snapped towards Noah, who stood near the wall with Tyreese. In fact, the collective stares of everyone present in the corridor converged on the young boy, who had unwittingly become the center of a power struggle. It was clear that Dawn's demand was motivated not by necessity but by a desire to assert dominance.

Rick spun to face Dawn with a cold glare. "That wasn't part of the deal," He snapped.

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place, and I'm losing her, so I need him back," She explained. "Unless . . . You would prefer to give up Astrid instead."

Daryl's grip on Astrid tightened protectively as he loudly growled, "Like hell."

Meanwhile, a cautious step forward was taken by the female hostage at Dawn's side, her voice quivering as she attempted to de-escalate the situation. "Dawn, please," She implored. "We don't need them. It's not—"

"Shut up!" The harsh interruption left no room for dissent. "My officers put their lives on the line to find Noah. One of them died."

Daryl shook his head. "No, he ain't stayin'," He declared.

Dawn clung to her stance, insisting, "He's one of mine. You have no claim on him."

Rick frowned darkly. "The boy wants to go home," He countered. "So you have no claim on him."

"Well, then, I guess we don't have a deal."

"The deal is done."

Meanwhile, Noah took a step forward to stand beside Rick. The young man's eyes were filled with courage. "It's okay," He reassured.

"No!" Rick exclaimed sharply as he placed a restraining hand on Noah's chest, preventing him from crossing the invisible threshold, where he would be on Dawn's side again.

Rather than arguing, Noah reached into his waistband and slowly produced a firearm, which he then pressed firmly into Rick's palm. "I've got to do it," He insisted. With one last glance at the group, he turned and began to limp toward his former captor.

Astrid, her eyes still tearfully fixed on Noah's retreating figure, was abruptly seized by the awful remembrance that the boy was injured. His wounds were likely inflicted here in Grady. If Beth had endured such brutality, a teenage girl, she could only imagine the suffering they would thrust upon Noah, now that he had managed to escape, only to be forcibly returned. He would surely be punished severely. Maybe even killed.

The Lancaster woman could not stand idly by while such an injustice unfolded. Noah was just a boy who deserved to go home to his own family. He had escaped, tasted freedom, and yet risked his life again to save Beth, who, in turn, had played a crucial role in the Lancaster woman's own survival.

If a debt was truly owed, she would repay it.

Astrid clenched her teeth, her eyes narrowing. "This is not okay," She snarled. Without hesitation, she wrested herself free from the holds of Daryl and Beth, who both immediately lunged forward, attempting to pull her back again.

"Astrid, what're you doing?" The young girl demanded.

Astrid stopped briefly and turned. She gently cupped Beth's cheek, her touch tender and maternal. "I have to save him," She murmured.

Beth began to part her lips, likely to voice her protest, but Daryl intervened, side-stepping her path. "No," He growled in her face. "Stay here. Rick will think of somethin'."

There was no time to think. Astrid merely shook her head as she squeezed Daryl's hand tightly in her own, one last time. Her other hand then rose to his face, gently sweeping aside the ever-present fringe that obscured his vision. With his bright, beautiful blue eyes now visible, she smiled warmly. "I'll be right back," She promised.

Without waiting for any further arguments, she pulled away, turned on her heel, and strode purposefully in pursuit of Noah. She pushed easily past Rick's attempt to hold her back. "Noah, wait!" She ordered.

The boy halted in his tracks, and Astrid pulled him into her own chest. But he knew instantly that something was wrong. "What are you doing?" Noah whispered into her ear.

Astrid squeezed him tightly and then pulled back. Her soft, forest-green eyes met his. "You're going home," She affirmed.

Yet their moment of hope was cruelly shattered by Dawn, who had silently approached, standing just a few feet behind them. "No, he's not," She stated, her voice dripping with sinister confidence. "They always come back."

Astrid's blood ran cold. Now, she could feel her own resolve stiffening in the face of the ultimate challenge. Breaking free from Noah's last embrace, she moved with measured steps and approached Dawn solely with a glare. The smug smirk on Dawn's face dared her to defy. In fact, multiple pairs of eyes were on Astrid now, but she refused to flinch under the searing spotlight. She was right where she needed to be.

Speaking through gritted teeth, it would physically pain the Lancaster woman to talk as she looked upon the cruel policewoman with such hatred. She had never despised anyone so intensely in such a brief span. Even the likes of the Governor or Gareth had not ignited this level of fury within her. Dawn was a breed apart. From the moment their paths had crossed, Astrid had known that the survival of both women was an impossibility. There was only one way left to go.

With sheer willpower, Astrid finally forced her lips to part, her voice emerging taut and cold. "Who the hell do you think you are?" She demanded, closing the distance.

Dawn's malicious smirk persisted, and it proved unbearable. Blistering rage coursed hotly through Astrid's veins, and within the frigid depths of Dawn's snake-like eyes, she glimpsed her own reflection. There was no mistaking the truth she saw there. And it no longer scared her anymore.

This was who she was and would always be.

Her decision now solidified, Astrid allowed the almost-forgotten scissors to slide down her sleeve and into her palm. She seized the cold steel between her fingers and offered no hesitation as she raised her hand and thrust the scissors into Dawn's exposed throat. The sudden, and loud, and downright horrified cries of onlookers—both friend and foe—reverberated dangerously around her, but Astrid's focus remained only on Dawn. She watched within the depths of such blackened irises as they registered shock, and then undoubtedly clouded over with the realization of the gushing wound.

Astrid had stabbed her, and there was no remorse in her heart. Her own pulse raced proudly within her chest, and she could not suppress a delighted grin. The scissors remained embedded deeply in the policewoman's blood-slicked neck, where her startled gasps of pain had turned to gargles of drowned life.

Dawn Lerner would inflict harm on others no more. Astrid Lancaster had done it.

And then, for a single moment, she felt infinite.

Before it all faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~