And here we go oh boy. Relationship drama. This is what initally pushed me away from Wattpad. I was using Wattpad to write stories then I convinced my buoyfrond to get a Wattpad so we could text (long distance relationships, we already know how it's gonna end) We had and on/off relationship, but we didn't really do anything. A couple texts here, another dew there, yada yada yada... then it started seriously stressing me out. It was affecting my life along with failing some classes because of a horrible teacher (lookin at you, Mrs. E!!!) And I fell into a deep depression that led to me not wanting to eat after already having finished a few years growth spurt. So I almost stopped eating altogether because I became anorexic. Now before everyone starts going "OMG NO DON'T DO THAT THAT'S BAD!!!" Anorexia and Anorexia Nervosa are two totally seperate things. Anorexia is a general loss of appetite (like of you finished a growth spurt and don't eat as much as your family is used to you eating) and Anorexia Nervosa is deliberate and a very serious mental and physical disease. Anorexia Nervosa is being afraid to eat because you don't want to get fat or other psychological issues involving insecurities. So there you go. So yeah, anorexia hit me and I started in this weird unhealthy mix of Anorexia and Anorexia Nervosa of me already not being very hungry and me not wanting to eat when I was. (Don't worry, I'm better now c:) I obviously didn't tell him. We tried to keep the relationship going after reverting back to email. We stopped talking for a bunch of weeks and finally the email came: the breakup. I was really upset, but I was hoping that at least this would be the final goodbye and he wouldn't tease me anymore. Alas, I don't get what I want or what might be healthiest for me. He still tried to email me saying he's sorry, but he doesn't realize what low, generic, emo lows I went to. I listened to "I Don't Love You" on loop for days. Then just after Christmas I bought "May Death Never Stop You" and the top 3 songs that have been telling me that everything will be alright are "Cancer", "Skylines and Turnstiles", and finally, "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison". I've been listening to May Death Never Stop You and the 3 Songs EP by 21 Pilots. Yep. I have reached my new All Time Low (pun 503% intended) a few days ago when I was watching Dan and Phil, I realized the situation: I was watching Dan and Phil in a Pikachu hat with pokéball pom-poms while eating month-old gingerbread and deinking milk out of a Butterbeer mug. I had become a wreck of trash. I'm just a wreck. Or in the words of Kevin Ghost, "I'm a disaster, I'm a fuckin mess..." It's been a bunch of months and I'm still hurting, but my big bro's (Gerard Way) voice is keeping me feeling strong.