WHITE FLAG

Surrender – there will be none of that, just as there will be no mercy given or offered under any circumstance.

If life throws you lemons and nothing but lemons then you should go make lemonade, right? Easier said than done. When you travel into a dark tunnel and feel as if you may never make it to the light, why should you fight to go on rather than stop immediately, ending it all and taking the instant way out?

Who is anyone to ever tell anyone else what to do or even to intervene on their behalf? It is always easy to say that there are brighter days ahead and a way out of the darkness will be found, once you fight for it and never give up ... you will get there. No matter how alone you may ever feel, there is always someone somewhere willing to help, even so far as being willing to go on that trip out of the darkness with you.

1.

Ruth Healy experienced two miscarriages and resigned herself to the thought that she may never become a mother. She responded as well as she could whenever anyone told her that it is alright, or that it is was and is nature's way and so on but how she would love to scream a big FUCK YOU to the world as it is not alright, and nature is only being a bitch for what wrong did Ruth ever do to deserve this?

Sure, she could go out into the world and put one over on nature by going through adoption though she wants what she wants, and she wants a child, a child of her own. She wants to be a mother. Adoption could be like taking the easy road or easier road, still ...

Her husband William knew better than to tell her anything is alright or to discuss anything nature related. Their relationship is such that neither need to say anything to the other, things are naturally just understood. They can say anything to one another without actually speaking, perhaps at times it would have been better to have spoken the words than to say nothing at all. Such things are easy to say in hindsight but ...

A gift comes. It comes from friends and family with the want to share their love and affection and to bring some joy into a time of sadness. Would it have been given if a near disaster had been foreseen? If truth could have been seen or foretold, then opinion may still be dived on the means but not the outcome.

The gift ... a Mediterranean cruise ... luxurious with top class food, a choice of entertainment and wrapped up with a yellow ribbon of sun. At first, she tried ... she really did ... wearing a brave face, smiling more for her husband than herself. Then during the wee small hours coming into the firth day she slid out of bed, put on night clothing and slippers, nothing more and vacated the cabin she and her husband had been assigned to.

Of course, he knew her so well, despite not being able to foresee what was about to come. He knew something was wrong but this? He allowed her a brief moment. Follow, to begin with ... see where the moment leads.

She moves topside and then down along to the very back of the ship. She cannot be thinking this ... Seriously he is not going to wait and find out. If she were to go over ... well there would be no coming back ... he is not willing to even see her look over ... he moves quickly as she does too, grabs her right wrist with his left hand and she turns ... she should have known he would come, perhaps she had been counting on it ...

'Let me do it Will ... please ...'

'Like hell I will. Ruth, I love you. I'm never going to let you go.'

Tears are flowing freely, eyes welled even before this confrontation began. With the late hour the lighting here is weak, the quietness is such that the waters lapping against the hull sound far too gentle to take a life and that in itself is ever so deceiving for an ocean, especially this far out, ain't no swimming pool.

'I've been killing you slowly ... I've been gone for some time now. My mind has gone away ... let my body follow ...'

'No, if you are doing this now ... then I am coming with you.'

He reaches out with his free hand for her to take ...

'William, you still have your life ... you will be better without me ...'

'My life is your life ... you are my everything ... without you I am nothing ...'

He lets go of her wrist. She turns to look out at the darkness and the waters beneath it.

'Come back to the cabin with me ... please ... my love.'

Eyes are locked and in there is where the conversation ends. She takes his hand and once more takes a look out at the darkness before smiling, an actual smile. So much more had been said in eye contact that anything which could have been spoken. She knew his love and he always had hers and such would be discussed upon return to their cabin.

Three months pass, Ruth and William are once again pregnant. This pregnancy will see full term and a daughter would be born healthy as healthy can be. Her name is ... Emily.

That night on the cruise ship, once a moment had come and had passed, a shooting star made its way through the sky and would have been clearly visible to anyone still on deck. The night Emily Healy was born, another single shooting star graced the sky. Had something always meant to be? Or were those stars occurrences that happened just by chance ...