Samuel Winchester had thought that he was alone for the longest time. Yes, there had been people around him but they never knew him. Always moving on to quickly to make proper friends only those ones you meet at the park. Smiling as they run off to their parents never to see them again.

   Watching them leave from the play structure as the sun starts to go down. Forgetting about the time of day as you hear an ice cream truck in the distance with the cheerful tune that follows it. Never really understanding why but knowing that it's just how it was. That's what little sam had equated the day Dean disappeared with and sam had moved on.

     At least he thought the did moving around, seemingly running away, while his dad was filled with sorrow and vengeance. But now, here he was, standing in front of his brother who hadn't aged a day since he was taken. Sitting with his legs up next to him as he was on top of the bookshelf a book older than anybody in the house in his hands. It was oddly normal. Not that sitting on top of a bookshelf taller than sam was normal but just dean being there almost as if nothing had changed in the world.

"You have questions, Sammy. I'll answer them, don't worry."

"Why"

"Why what Sammy" A sigh with an exasperated look just as if they had been together for their entire lives and not split apart for a decade.

"I don't know why did you just go with that that thing? Why did you leave me alone? Why did anything that night go down the way it did?"

      If you look closely little Dean slowly mouths out a few of the phrases his isolated ears had caught fitting them with familiar words to utilize later but for now, its all he can do to not break down again.

    How could he explain it all in a way that would make sense that works for him to not feel utterly guilty?

"You know how dad is. I guess I was just tired. Shadow had been there for a few months he would point out things I missed help you fall asleep and dad had been especially bad that day, stupid adults so I mean I just kinda took the deal it said it could get me out of that and well he did..."

"still not even a proper goodbye couldn't have pushed to stay a little longer tell me or dad that some demon"

"the shadow is not a demon"

"what! c'mon that's-"

"I said the shadow is not a demon"

"Why are you acting like an absolute child"

"wow I thought you had been sent to Stanford don't you have to be smart for that"

"I find I guess ill leave you be message received you don't wanna talk"

"Wait. No, Sam, I'm sorry please don't. I'm sorry. So sorry, I'm sorry for running being a coward. Not being able to fly you out of there. All of it I'm so sorry please don't walk out. I don't want you getting hurt not like them, not like the boys, please"

        Rambling and rambling. Sam couldn't even get a word in apologies and eventually, sam and his giant frame had wrapped around the teen. His older brother that had been locked in time. Nobody disturbed them hearing a faint rumble in the background of a truck engine starting but otherwise left to themselves in a conversation that was long overdue.

Thank you so much for reading and guess what this is the first chapter of any of my works that was actually beta tested (thanks sin) so if you hadn't noticed Sam is a bit Ooc that's for a reason this was mostly a filler chapter anyways.