What's this? Another update not even a month after I updated AR? I'm on a roll here~! Also, Kariya is turning into the OoS version of AR!Minamisawa. He doesn't want to stick to my plans and just writes himself into the story, grr.

~'0'~

Monday morning brings the rain that did not fall the previous day, and Tenma does not mind one single bit.

He's in too good of a mood to be bothered by some water and seeing Sasuke playfully bite at the raindrops during their morning walk has got to be the highlight of his week, nevermind that that week only just started. It's just too cute. Sue him, he loves his dog.

He loves it a little less when Sasuke jumps into a muddy pool and gets dirt all over his paws, but that is something he'd half been expecting already, so he only sighs and ends their walk a few minutes early so he'll have some time to clean the worst of it before school.

At least Sasuke jumped in muddy water, not mud, and it's only his paws. It could've been worse.

Tenma is talking from experience.

By the time Sasuke is passably clean and Tenma leaves for school, the rain has turned into a light drizzle, so he grabs his umbrella on the way out and sets off. He's lucky, actually - Yuuichi has canceled morning practice in response to their match yesterday, telling them to get some rest that morning, so even with the morning's excitement Tenma still arrives as one of the earliest in his class.

When he steps into the classroom, the first thing he spots is Shinji's bright hair, and he grins. The other midfielder is rummaging through his bag and hasn't noticed him and Tenma makes use of the opportunity to sneak closer, until he's standing right behind him.

''Good morning!'' he chirps cheerfully.

Shinji startles horribly. ''Gah!'' he exclaims, nearly dropping his bag as he both flinches away and tries to turn around in his cramped seat at once.

At the comical sight, Tenma laughs, only made worse when Shinji stares at him in betrayal and indignation. ''Kaze!'' he whines.

''Sorry, sorry,'' Tenma chuckles, grinning at the redhead who, after a few more seconds, sighs and returns his smile with one of his own. ''I won't do it again.''

Shinji actually rolls his eyes at that and huffs, but doesn't stop smiling. ''Right,'' he says as Tenma leans against the desk next to his. ''Well, good morning to you too, you seem to be in a good mood.''

''We won our first match,'' Tenma says as if that's all there is to it, and to be honest, it is. He's still a soccer freak and proud of it. ''And it was fun too!''

At that, Shinji grins in agreement. ''True. And no morning practice either, and considering the weather...'' he shoots a look at the window, where there's still some light drizzling outside although the sky is beginning to lighten a bit. Tenma agrees whole-heartedly, thrown back to the many times coach Endou would have them practice outside whether rain or snow - figuratively, as long as they wouldn't get sick from it - claiming they'd never know what circumstances they'd have to play in eventually. The worst part was that he was right about it too.

He's pulled out of his memories when Shinji adds, ''I'm feeling a little sorry for the first team. I saw them practicing outside this morning.''

Tenma can't help the amused sound he makes, both at the irony because that's what he was literally just thinking about, and the fact that he might be getting some enjoyment out of the mental image. ''Really?''

''Yeah, seems that when it comes to soccer they're a bit...''

''Hardcore?'' Tenma suggests.

He'd know. He's just as bad as them.

Shinji shakes his head with a laugh, but before he can respond, the subjects of their talk come stumbling in.

At the very least they seem to have been provided with towels, Tenma can't help but think as he bites on his lip to keep from laughing, catching Shinji with a similar muffled grin from the corner of his eye. Kariya in particular seems grumpy, his usually unruly hair an even worse mess - possibly from trying to dry it with a towel - whereas Sakura simply looks tired and Hikaru just has a knowing smile on his face.

The forward catches sight of the two soccer players already in the room. ''Good morning,'' Hikaru tells them, making his way over to his desk as Kariya follows with a grumble that might pass for a greeting.

''Good morning,'' the two second team players echo, and although Tenma really, really tries, he's in too good of a mood to avoid the amused, ''Nice weather we're having, eh?'' from slipping out directly after. Shinji chokes on a gleeful laugh and immediately covers his mouth to try and muffle the sound, for better or for worse.

Hikaru's polite smile turns a little strained, but Kariya - having retreated to his desk and using it as a wooden pillow - guffaws loudly, turning his head from where it was previously hidden in his arms to share a wicked grin with Shinji and Tenma. ''Don't mind him, he's just pissed because he slipped and faceplanted. Twice.''

''Kariya!'' the boy protests, blushing. For a few seconds he seems to be scrambling for a different topic, something to get the attention off of him, and then his eyes settle on the two second team members. ''What about your practice...?'' he asks, narrowing in on how neither of them seems to be particularly affected by the rain.

''Coach Tsurugi gave us the morning off,'' Shinji tells them. ''We won our match yesterday.''

Hikaru brightens considerably. ''Congratulations!'' he chirps. ''Who did you play against?''

Shinji can't help his pleased smile and ducks his head in embarrassment, ''Aoba High,'' he mumbles. Then he looks up sharply. ''Oh! You played against Teikoku Academy yesterday, right? How did it go?''

As Hikaru lights up and begins to tell them animatedly about their match - they'd played to a draw, apparently - Tenma has to put in effort to seem interested. He hadn't realized that the first team also had a match, but he probably should've expected it. In any case, listening to his former teammate - with some input from Kariya and Sakura - is harder than he thought it would be.

The brunet tries not to let it get to him as, for the next few minutes, the three first team members boast about their first game of the year. Thankfully Shinji more than makes up for his lack of interest and their other classmates begin trickling in as well, giving the former captain an excuse to focus on something else.

As their teacher walks and calls the class to order, Tenma digs his books out of his bag with a quiet sigh, placing them on the table in front of him. When he straightens up, about to turn his focus to their teacher, he's caught off guard by Kariya's golden eyes staring at him.

It's just a split second, the tealhead averting his gaze nearly instantly, but it leaves Tenma feeling a little unsettled nonetheless.

~'0'~

By the time Tenma's free period rolls around, the rain clouds of the morning have dissipated, leaving a bright blue sky with some cotton clouds here and there. The brunet is joined by Shinji as they head towards the library, the redhead stating he wants to get some studying done.

When they get there, Tenma points his friend to an out-of-the-way aisle that he discovered during his time returning books. At this time of day there's some very nice sunny spots there, and it's far enough away from the library entrance to not be bothered by students coming and leaving.

The brunet himself slips behind the counter, greeting the senpai he worked with last week as well - Hirota - as he pins his badge to his uniform. ''Good morning, Matsukaze,'' the older student smiles. ''How's it going? Any questions on the library for now?''

''Nothing right now, senpai,'' Tenma responds, heading towards the coffee machine. ''Would you like some?''

''Yeah, that'd be great!'' As Tenma sets to preparing two mugs, Hirota logs into the computer and looks through their tasks for the hour. ''Nothing much, but some books need to be returned. Shouldn't take too long, think you've got the layout down enough to do it on your own?''

The brunet nods as the coffee machine beeps, the first mug done. ''I think so,'' he says, leaving the second mug beneath the machine and moving back to the counter to offer his senpai the first one. ''There you go.''

The third-year grins in thanks. ''Wonderful, thank you.''

They settle into a comfortable rhythm, only the typing of the computer keys and the soft drip of the coffee machine breaking the silence. A short minute later, Tenma takes the second seat behind the counter, logging into the computer as well and beginning to work. Like Hirota said there's really not much to be done this early in the week, so he mostly just enjoys his drink and chats a little with the older student.

Eventually Tenma sets to returning the books, steadily pushing the cart around the quiet library. There's few people at the moment, class being in session for most students, so when he passes by the aisle where Shinji is working, he takes a short break to say hi. His friend is engrossed in his homework, a library book open on the table in front of him, the sun setting his red hair ablaze - clearly his recommendation for study spots was appreciated.

''Hard at work, I see,'' he says in greeting.

The redhead looks up, a smile spreading over his face when he catches sight of the brunet. ''Kaze! Yes, thank you for letting me know about this area,'' he says, gesturing to the quiet space around him.

''No problem,'' Tenma says, grabbing a stack of the books on the nearly empty cart and heading over to the right bookshelf to return it to its rightful place.

A short, comfortable silence falls between them as Tenma carries out his task and Shinji returns to his homework. After he's placed the last book back onto its shelf, the brunet grabs the cart again. ''My shift covers the lunch break, so I'll see you in class!''

''See you!''

Tenma disappears into the next aisle, humming to himself as he loses himself in his task. This far back the library is near abandoned at this time.

When he catches sight of a collection of books haphazardly strewn across one of the tables, no student in sight, the brunet frowns. After a quick check to see if there's anyone around, he sighs. Seems like somebody - or rather a group of somebodies, if the number of books is any indication - left without cleaning up after themselves.

He sets to collecting the books, stacking them together and carrying them to his cart. Unfortunately the stickers on the back indicate that they're from a whole other part of the library, and the brunet rolls his eyes. Because of course. Some people, he swears.

By the time he finishes returning the books he was originally supposed to, the end of the hour is approaching. At least he's working during the break as well, he supposes, so he's got the time to return the new stack as well. He passes by the counter at the front to let Hirota know he'll be busy a bit longer and the third-year sends him off with an eye-roll at the rude people and a good luck wish. The bell rings not long after.

The library gets noticeably busier with the influx of more students. Obviously not a lot of people want to spend their entire lunch period here, so it's mostly people looking up or returning books, but at least the tables at the front are full now when Tenma passes them by. He heads towards the biology aisle, leaving the cart near the front and taking a stack of books with him.

As he heads further into the aisle, his attention is caught by the sound of muted voices, stemming from somewhere nearby although he can't tell exactly where.

"-won't even talk to me?"

"You're overreacting."

Tenma freezes where he stands.

One of the voices makes a sound of frustration. "You've been out of it since last week, don't think I haven't noticed." The next words are spoken a bit softer, gentler, and Tenma almost doesn't catch them. "I'm worried about you, Tsurugi."

The confirmation - which Tenma hadn't really needed - leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

"You don't need to be.''

At Tsurugi Kyousuke's flat response, the other person - whoever that might be, although to Tenma's growing dread the voice sounds distinctly familiar - falls silent for a handful of seconds and then asks, ''Did something happen?'' It's said gently, soft enough that Tenma needs to strain to hear it. ''I haven't seen you this frazzled in ages.''

''Nothing happened,'' Tsurugi says shortly. Then he amends, ''Nothing you can help with.''

Tenma recognizes that tone of finality, and so must whoever the striker is talking with, because it stays silent for a long moment before the other gives in hesitantly. ''Very well, if you're sure. But if there's ever anything you want to talk about, I'll listen.''

''I know,'' Tsurugi says, but it sounds half-hearted even to their unknown eavesdropper. ''Thank you. I've,'' he pauses for a moment, ''got to go, I promised Nii-san to drop by for lunch.''

''Wait, Tsurugi-!''

The shout goes unanswered and Tenma finally finds out where the two had been having their conversation when Tsurugi rounds the corner of the aisle in a hurry, passing by the brunet like he doesn't even see him. Tenma opens his mouth to- he doesn't know, call after him? But Tsurugi storms out of the aisle before he can make up his mind and he's left with a sinking feeling in his chest, alone in the now silent corridor.

Seared into his mind's eye is the devastated look Tsurugi had on his face, one that has occasionally been directed at him before.

Back when he was still stuck in a hospital bed, that is.

~'0'~

Tenma can't get Tsurugi out of his head for the rest of the day, no matter how he tries.

Not that he tries very hard, his attempts half-hearted at best, because while he might have no clue about what exactly it was that he overheard, he's got a sneaking suspicion that he knows at least part of what caused it.

The memory of their last conversation haunts him.

Classes don't form the distraction that he'd hoped. He ends up zoning out for most of them, in fact, and even gets a stern talking to from one of his teachers when he's too caught up in his thoughts to hear her call on him. And although he tries to focus more after that, the scene from before is playing in his head on repeat.

It doesn't surprise him that Shinji picks up on his mood change. He'd been pretty cheerful all morning after all, and the brunet will be the first to admit that he turned quiet after lunch. By the time they finally head to soccer practice Tenma can no longer share in his team's excitement after their victory yesterday.

At least Yuuichi shows no signs of having something on his mind, so if he did see his brother during the break, either Tsurugi let nothing slip, it got solved, or Yuuichi is very good at compartmentalizing.

Tenma doesn't want to make assumptions, but he's fairly certain he still knows both brothers well enough to guess which one it is.

It doesn't reassure him.

Despite having a match only yesterday, Yuuichi doesn't let up on their training beyond the morning off. In fact, he keeps up the pressure, getting them started with stamina exercises right off the bat. Once again Tenma recognizes Kidou's influence in the training regime that Yuuichi seems to be working towards, the man's style specific enough to stand out. It makes him wonder how integrated their coach may have become in the former Raimon Eleven, to have access to Kidou's training schedules.

The team itself doesn't disappoint. They're fired up after yesterday, and in good shape already.

It's contagious and Tenma lets himself get dragged along with the excitement enough to relax just a little.

Towards the end of their training, a bit earlier than usual, Yuuichi calls them to the bench and takes time to go over the details of their match yesterday. The overall discussion is positive, with several points of improvement noted that they'll be working on the next few days and weeks, and an interesting analysis of the hissatsu their team had used.

Iwasaki - the second-year forward and current ace of the team - made the first goal yesterday, which Yuuichi doesn't spend much time on. Tenma's got the feeling that the hissatsu he used is one of his trademark moves and therefore a topic they've discussed plenty of times before.

"It was executed very well," Yuuichi states simply. "I can't think of any improvements for now, so maybe it's best to see if there's a way to level up the shoot entirely."

The striker in question accepts their coach's suggestion immediately. "I was thinking that too. I've got some ideas that I'd like to run by you, coach.''

Yuuichi nods easily and makes a quick note on his clipboard. "Sure, I'll schedule some time for it this week. Then!" At the sudden voice raise, the team startles a little, "Yamaki Eriko."

The blonde holds up her hands immediately in the universal 'I surrender' sign.

Yuuichi levels her with a flat look, but the corner of his lip twitching gives him away to anyone looking closely. "What, exactly, have I said about using untested hissatsu during official games?"

For a few seconds, Yamaki looks ready to deny anything and everything, but then she pouts. "Not to."

"And what did you do?"

She droops more, if that's even possible. "I used an untested technique during the match..." she straightens up just as quickly, all of her previous gloom gone in a flash. "But coach! I was so so close, I swear-!"

Yuuichi raises both eyebrows and says, "I know, it was impressive. I think you might complete it this week." When Yamaki's mouth drops open, he smiles gently. "I don't disapprove of your hissatsu, I just want you to test it in practice first. Tell you what, after Iwasaki and I are done with Canine Crusher, I'll help you with your Espresso Shot, deal?"

It definitely is. Yamaki punches the air with a loud whoop and Yuuichi laughs at that.

And so it goes on. Raimon didn't use many hissatsu during the match, but neither did Aoba, and most of the techniques seem to be familiar to Yuuichi and the older students. In fact, Shinji's Hall of Mirrors gains the biggest reaction, with several senpai asking questions about its execution.

Tenma is curious too, but Shinji just turns red and ducks his head, telling them stubbornly, "I can't- I can't reveal all my cards yet, senpai."

Despite the initial disappointment, the team doesn't push him and Tenma, still keeping an eye on his friend, notices that he relaxes marginally when they move onto a different topic. The brunet smiles. With a bit more time, he thinks, Shinji might just be willing to open up a bit more.

When they've gone through the whole match, Yuuichi calls for their attention once more. "Alright, guys! I know you all want to go home-"

"And miss your riveting speeches?" the keeper jokes. "Never, coach."

Yuuichi snorts a laugh. "Thank you Adachi," he says, "Anyway! As you know, tournament season is coming up." Instantly, the team's attention sharpens. "If you agree to it," their coach continues, "I'll sign you up for this year's Kanto Regionals."

The older students don't seem surprised by the development. Yamaki grins brightly and high-fives Fukui, and Teruya nods in agreement and says, "Let's see if this year we can take the title."

There's more murmurs from the team - Maeyama seems nervous but excited, and Anami has a determined expression on her face - but Tenma keeps his face blank.

Regionals, huh?

It makes sense, when he thinks about it. There's likely some sort of regulation about only one school per tournament - not that he'd be familiar with it because the Raimon he played for only ever had one team, but it wouldn't surprise him - and Raimon I will no doubt go to Japanese Nationals, like every year.

For Raimon II to then go to Regionals, also relatively standard if the older players' reaction is anything to go off, is to be expected. Tenma wonders for a bit at the specifics of the Regional Tournament, and the differences between Regionals and Nationals. There must be some, at least, but maybe not as much as he expects.

He really wouldn't know. He's not nearly as familiar with the High School soccer world as he is with Junior High's, for obvious reasons, and just one match is not enough to catch him up to speed. He's vaguely aware that the protection that applies to Junior High players is not the same as in High School, though - Gouenji had told him once. In Junior High there's strict regulations and agreements on how exposed the players are to the media, young as they are at that time, but High School is free game.

So, who knows. Maybe it won't differ as much as the match yesterday suggested - slower buildup, less hissatsu, no Keshin whatsoever - or maybe it will.

Tenma resolves to be patient for now, and just wait and see.

Whatever may happen, the prospect of once again playing in a tournament is an exciting one at least, and he's not the only one to think so. Yuuichi dismisses them not long after and the brunet is instantly approached by Maeyama and Shinji, the three of them gravitating together as seems to be the new norm.

''A tournament!'' Maeyama begins the second he's popped up next to his friends. ''Can you believe it? This is gonna be so awesome!'' he punches the air excitedly.

Neither Tenma nor Shinji is surprised by his eager enthusiasm anymore, like a puppy faced with a new squeaky toy, and just grin indulgently at him. ''Tournaments are very exciting,'' Shinji agrees, picking up his water bottle from the bench. ''I'm really curious about what teams we'll face!''

Tenma hums curiously at that, suddenly wondering about something. ''Does Genei Academy have a team that will participate?'' he asks.

''Hm?'' the redhead blinks at the question, then shakes his head. ''Um, depends on how many students joined the club this year, but probably not. Genei has a very difficult entrance exam, or you'll need to get in on recommendation, so it's got less students than other high schools, so less people to join the soccer team. Their main team will undoubtedly join Nationals.''

That makes sense. Tenma doesn't know anything about the other school, it being located in the Chūbu region, so the topic is honestly quite interesting to him.

Maeyama joins in as the three of them start heading towards the soccer building. "How'd you end up at Raimon, then?"

"Oh, my parents moved here for work," Shinji explains, ducking his head and looking down at his feet at their interest in him. "I wanted to get a good education but also go to a school with a good soccer team, so... Raimon it was." He shrugs.

Maeyama makes a sound of understanding, listening attentively as their redheaded friend explains. As they climb the staircase to the rest of the school terrain, he turns his curious eyes towards Tenma. ''What about you, Kaze? You're not from around here, right?''

The brunet nearly stops in his tracks, shooting the other a bewildered look. ''Wha- how'd you know that?''

His attention is caught by Shinji when he laughs softly and says, ''You've got an accent.''

''I do?'' Tenma blinks.

Maeyema nods excitedly. ''Yeah! You didn't know?''

''I didn't realize it was so noticeable,'' the brunet admits, a little bemused by the sudden turn the conversation has taken. It's been ages since someone pointed out his accent - years of living in Tokyo did a good job of converting his speech to a more standard version of Japanese, only reverting back to his original dialect whenever he'd visit Okinawa. Moving back to his hometown for such a long time must've had a stronger impact than he'd realized. ''I've been trying not to talk that way here.''

''It's not bad!'' Shinji hurries to reassure him, and Tenma smiles at him gratefully. He doesn't mind, honestly, it had just surprised him, and he tells them as much.

His friends are understanding, but Maeyama is still curious. ''So?'' he asks. ''Where are you from, then?''

''Okinawa,'' Tenma answers, a soft smile gracing his lips at the memory of it. He hasn't been back in Inazuma Town for long, but he already misses it. ''We moved here not too long ago.''

''That's pretty far,'' Shinji comments, while Maeyama looks a little starry-eyed and says, ''Whoa, I've always wanted to go there!'' and begins chattering away with ever-growing excitement in the exact way that Tenma and Shinji are growing increasingly used to. The two share an amused look behind his back and leave him to it.

They're approaching the soccer building now, and Tenma tries not to grimace. As usual when he passes by this part of the grounds, he finds himself distracted for a moment when they pass by the main field. Every time he tries not to pay attention to it, but...

Well. It's still a work in progress.

For once the first team's practice has ended as well when they pass by, likely because their own ran a bit later with Yuuichi's announcements. Some of the yellow-clad teens are still gathered at the bench below while most others have already made their way off the field.

He recognizes Tsurugi among them.

Once again, he nearly stops in his tracks and ends up stumbling over his own feet as he reminds himself to keep walking.

(For just a moment, he's tempted to go down there.)

Tenma shakes his head and forces himself to look away.

It doesn't last.

~'0'~

Tenma tries to get a start on his homework after getting home, the keyword being tries. He doesn't even make it to the third question before his mind starts to wander. He taps his pen on his book like that will keep his attention on the task he's supposed to be doing.

It's been a month since he's returned to Inazuma Town, and the thought makes him pause. It feels like it's been both an eternity and yet no time at all. Funny how that works.

Two weeks ago he hadn't even known where to start. Two weeks ago, he'd been scared to go to school.

And now...

(''I'm worried about you, Tsurugi.''

''You don't need to be.'')

Tenma should've known better than to think he could ignore it.

No matter how much he tries to push it all away, it keeps taunting him. The conversation he overheard. The damn phone call.

The worst part of it all is that Tenma doesn't even remember most of what he'd said to Tsurugi. Just that it had been awful. He'd been so caught up in his own head, so ensnared in his fury and misery, spitting words of poison and fire designed to hurt because he-

Because he...

Because what?

Tenma has long since stopped tapping the pen, and now watches as it falls out of his limp fingers. It clatters against the desk and rolls away.

(''Nothing happened. Nothing you can help with.'')

He'd thought it wouldn't matter. Thought Tsurugi wouldn't care because he'd long since shown that he didn't.

No. That's not it either.

The truth is that he hadn't even considered Tsurugi's role in all of this, and maybe that's worse. He'd been upset and not thinking straight and he'd taken it out on someone he once called his best friend without second thought.

And then he'd ignored it ever happened, because that was the easy way out.

There's a heavy lump in the back of his throat when he again recalls Tsurugi's expression in the library. Devastated, pure and simple.

Tenma did that to him.

He can't help it; he lets out a wry laugh and buries his face in his hands.

Fuck, he really messed up, didn't he?

If someone would ask him how long he hides like that, Tenma wouldn't be able to answer. All he knows is that it's a while, at least; nothing but silence all around as he blocks out the world as if it can't reach him like this. If only it was that easy.

Again with taking the easy way out, he scoffs, because that worked out so well last time.

He slides his hands down his face as he raises his head, letting out a deep, slow breath. He doubts he can walk away from this yet again and he doesn't want to, not after today. He doesn't want to- doesn't want to be like that, spiteful and angry and bitter, not anymore. He doesn't, but it's hard, so hard, and where would he even begin with-?

Somehow his eyes land on the abandoned pen on his desk. It rolled away from his books when he dropped it, and now it's right next to his phone where he'd placed it aside.

Oh.

Could he...

Without conscious thought he reaches for it, typing the code to unlock it almost on autopilot and pulling up the phone app. The two most recent calls were to his father, but below that is an outgoing call to a number he still recognizes even after so long.

Tenma hesitates as his finger hovers over the call button. Last time... last time his panic had made him irrational. Somehow that had been easier. Now he can think of all the reasons why this is a bad idea, why he should put the phone down right this instant.

No, he tells himself firmly. I'm not going to keep running from this.

He steels himself and hits call.

It rings once, twice, and then, "Tenma."

Once again, hearing Tsurugi throws him off and he grips the phone tightly. Now that he's made it this far, Tenma finds himself at a loss for words.

He swallows, throat dry, and finally manages a mumbled, "hi."

He can sense Tsurugi's confusion even through the phone at the mild greeting, and he can't even blame him for it, considering their last conversation. But the forward doesn't mention that, and instead cautiously returns, after a handful of seconds, "Hey. I... I didn't expect you to call again."

Tenma can't help it; he cracks a tiny, wry smile. "Me neither."

But he did call, and he did so for a reason. One he doesn't think he'll ever get to if he doesn't say it now.

"I wanted to apologize," he says, forcing the words out before he can think about it. "For. For last time. I was out of line." He cringes at the words, heart hammering in his chest as he waits for Tsurugi to... to...

To what? Get mad? Forgive him? He shouldn't care about what Tsurugi will say, not after all this time.

(He does.)

What he doesn't expect is for Tsurugi to say, "But you were right."

Tenma's mouth drops open. "What?"

The other hesitates, hesitates, and then says slowly, "You were right in what you said. You... shouldn't apologize."

Tenma stares at the window in front of him incredulously, once again left at a loss for words because-

"What the hell?" he demands, the first stirrings of anger making his voice come out sharper than intended. He can't bring himself to care. "I said horrible things to you!"

He wants to believe Tsurugi is mocking him, but the way he phrased it makes him doubt that - if he was, he wouldn't sound so timid. Now there's a word he's rarely associated with the striker, only a handful of times when he spoke of his brother and his time with Fifth Sector, and even after all this time it still leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Tsurugi's breath, even through the phone, sounds shaky. "You shouldn't apologize," he says again, and Tenma's fury comes unbidden and untamed.

"Are you kidding me?" he demands sharply. "First of all, you don't have any right to tell me what I can or cannot do, and second, what is wrong with you? You're-"

Tenma abruptly breaks off what he was saying, and the sudden silence between them is heavy with tension.

He clenches his eyes shut.

This...

He doesn't want to do this. To say these things, just like last time, to let his anger rule him.

(He doesn't want to hurt anymore.)

Slowly, Tenma forces himself to take a deep breath, to calm his rapid heart.

On the other side of the line, it is silent as well.

The brunet grits his teeth, pushing down the frustration prickling just beneath the surface, and then tries again with forced calm. "Look. It's up to you whether you agree or not," and he has to bite his tongue to keep anything harsher than that from slipping out, "but I am of the opinion that I was out of line. So this is me. Apologizing, to you."

For several long, long moments, Tsurugi seems as stunned as Tenma was previously. The brunet has to fight off the urge to snap at him to say something.

He's already had one conversation with Tsurugi that had been ruled by his emotions, and the whole reason that they're having this conversation now is because of how much of a mess that had been.

Finally, there's a soft exhale from the other end of the line.

"It's fine," Tsurugi says, and as if he's aware that Tenma is about to open his mouth to refute that statement, he continues quickly. "You said some pretty heavy things," he amends, "that weren't great to hear. I can't say... I can't say it didn't bother me. But it's fine."

Tenma grips his phone so tightly that the edges of it cut painfully into his skin. "Why?" he demands, with a desperation he doesn't know the origin of.

Tsurugi hums, a thoughtful little sound, and Tenma hates that he's so much more composed than him. He always has been.

"Because I hurt you."

The breath gets knocked out of him.

Something, a gasp or a hitch in his breathing, must have slipped out because Tsurugi says "Tenma" in a sort of pained voice that only makes him double over, and then he's crying.

He sucks in a harsh breath and chokes on it, a sob caught in his throat that he knows Tsurugi will have heard, but he can't- he doesn't-

"Tenma," Tsurugi says his name again, sounding on the verge of tears himself. "I'm so fucking sorry."

And that-

Tenma breaks.

(It's all he's wanted to hear for a very, very long time now.)

~'0'~

Hearing Tenma cry is the worst fucking thing in the world.

The brunet clings to his composure for maybe a handful of seconds before letting out a harsh sob that becomes the first of many and Kyousuke has never hated himself as much as he does now.

Tenma doesn't cry.

Not when he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders, not when he's trying to hold a breaking team together, not when he's being told he won't walk again.

He wears his heart on his sleeve but only because it's made of iron and strong enough to take a hit.

Tenma doesn't cry.

Yet here he is, crying. Because Kyousuke finally apologized to him, three years late.

(It should never have been necessary for him to apologize in the first place.)

His fingers tighten around his phone and he swallows harshly. He wants to - desperately - say something to console the brunet but he's at a loss for words, he always is when it counts the most, and he doesn't know if it would be welcome regardless. Tenma hadn't wanted him to call, and for good reason.

Part of Kyousuke wants to apologize again.

He's quite certain that that would be a wrong move, though.

''I,'' he begins, and then stops. He's so fucking bad at this, why is he so bad? Why couldn't he be more like his brother, so easy to smile and comfort and simply talk?

But it seems to be enough for Tenma to gather himself, just a little, just enough to say, ''You're a jerk, Tsurugi Kyousuke,'' and it's so unexpected that it startles a hoarse laugh out of him.

He presses a hand to his eyes, grinning helplessly. ''Yeah, I am,'' he agrees, the words escaping him, and then he says, ''I'm the fucking worst,'' and oh, now he's crying.

Kyousuke tries to wipe the tears away to no avail because they just keep coming, and in the end he lets himself collapse into a desk chair. When he tries to take a deep breath, it gets stuck in his throat instead and all he can do is press the back of his hand to his eyes. As if that will help.

He's the worst.

''I'm sorry,'' he chokes out, ''I'm so fucking sorry.'' He probably sounds like a broken record at this point but he doesn't know what else to say, the weight of his own regret drowning him.

It'll never be enough. It has never been enough, because it seems that no matter how loud he tries to scream, the words fade before anyone can hear them, until it just got easier not to say them at all. Why should he, when no one would ever hear them? When it would never be enough?

When he's not enough?

He bites on his tongue before he lets out another sound.

Tenma still sounds too ragged, in that way that Kyousuke knows he's not stopped crying, but he's calmed down a bit. Their roles have reversed now, it seems.

Neither of them says anything for a long while, neither of them knows what to say, the distance between them heavy and painful and so, so far. Kyousuke has no idea how to bridge it. How to get out of this stalemate they've found themselves in.

And then Tenma lets out a heavy sigh and says plainly, "We're a mess."

Kyousuke can't help it. He laughs, and if maybe it sounds a little hysterical then neither of them brings that up.

"Sure, laugh it up," the brunet grumbles instead but Kyousuke can tell he doesn't mean it from the lack of heat in the words.

And somehow, impossibly, some of the ice between them has broken.

All of a sudden Kyousuke is scrambling for something to say, something, anything to keep Tenma from hanging up. He's no good at words, he's never been any good at words, and he half expects more apologies to come tumbling out of his mouth.

Instead he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "How's Sasuke?"

It's silent for a handful of seconds and then Tenma says, incredulously, "Seriously? All of this and you're asking about my dog?"

At that, Kyousuke winces. He can see how that might be insensitive. Still, though, if it keeps the brunet talking... "Um. Yes?"

"Oh my god," Tenma mumbles, but he doesn't hang up so Kyousuke will count it as a victory. "He's doing fine. Wouldn't get out of a puddle this morning, so, you know. The usual."

Kyousuke does know - Tenma was late for morning practice more than once when his dog's love for puddles delayed him on his morning walk, and Kyousuke even got to see it for himself once when he accompanied Tenma. The memory of it makes him smile. ''I'm glad he's doing well,'' he says honestly, and when there's no response from the other side of the line, he falters.

Then he steels himself, asks, ''How are you?'' and prays he didn't cross a line.

There's no immediate response, and Kyousuke swallows. He feels like he's stumbling on a road he can't see, never knowing whether the next step will be the one to send him over the edge. He hates it.

Slowly, though, Tenma breathes out like he's trying to steady himself. Kyousuke barely picks up on it and he might've thought he'd imagined it if Tenma didn't say, ''I'm fine.''

Though he tries to be convincing, it sounds too flat for it to be.

Not that Kyousuke would expect anything different, on second thought it was a stupid question after their other phone call not even a week ago, but... Tenma answered. That's more than he could've hoped for. ''I'm glad,'' he mumbles in response, once more wondering if that will be one step too far.

It might be, because his only answer is a stilted ''yeah'' before the brunet quickly changes the subject. ''So, um, I guess that's all. I'm sorry for how I talked to you.'' He takes a quick breath. ''I've, I've got some homework to do, so...''

Kyousuke swallows and nods, even though Tenma won't see it. He knows a dismissal when he hears one and his fingers tighten around his phone, as if that could somehow stop the brunet from hanging up. ''Okay,'' he mumbles, and even manages to make it sound steady somehow.

''Yeah,'' Tenma says after another beat, and then adds, like an afterthought, ''talk to you later.'' There's a soft click as he hangs up and Kyousuke is left staring at the wall. For a long while, that's all he does.

Talk to you later, he'd said. It could've just been a casual greeting, but...

Kyousuke leans back in his chair, letting his phone fall on his desk with a clatter, and tries not to overthink about the meaning of those deceptively simple words.

To be continued...

~'0'~

Y'all we're getting character development here. It's actually happening, can you believe it? Also, Tenma, please stop hating on yourself for not wanting to be hurt anymore. Second also, it's the return of Tsurugi's guilt complex from the anime! Because believe me, if you look at his interactions with Yuuichi, he has such a bad guilt complex like oh my god get this kid some therapy.

Scratch that, get ALL of them some therapy.

Third also, I find it hilarious how Tenma got mad when Tsurugi said he was right to be mad, like, Tenma honey, please pick a side? Either be mad or don't be mad?? This boy is so emotionally confused, I swear.

Fun fact, Japanese has 47 dialects and Okinawan Japanese is one of them. It's pretty different from standard Japanese and uses a lot of different words (for example, ''hai sai'' instead of ''konnichiwa''). It stems from the history of the Okinawan Islands - originally it was a different kingdom (the Ryukyu kingdom) that was formally annexed by Japan in 1879, so that's pretty recent all things considered. As such it had its own language(s) and the indigenous Okinawan language is considered endangered nowadays. Instead Okinawan Japanese (as the name implies, that's a Japanese dialect) is spoken which has loanwords from the Okinawan language and from American English (that's related to World War II) and words from standard Japanese that have a different meaning in Okinawan Japanese.

So yeah, I've been doing some research into that and although I only know the very basics of this whole history/dialect thing, I thought it was interesting and that it could be fun to mention it in my stories a little bit (I'm trying to develop Tenma's backstory a bit more). Though obviously, since Tenma moved to Tokyo when he was eight or nine and has lived there for years, and doesn't seem to speak very differently from the other characters, we can assume he's adapted to standard Japanese quite well (lots of people adapt the way they speak to how the people around them speak). Anyway, then I got to thinking, when would Tenma speak in dialect? And, well, obviously when he's on Okinawa, or he might revert to it when talking with someone who speaks the same dialect. In the case of Out of Sight, Tenma lived on Okinawa for two years and probably (gradually) switched back to Okinawan Japanese, plus now that he's back in Tokyo he's living with his father who also originally spoke that dialect, and although Tenma could've switched back to the standard words (''konnichiwa'' instead of ''hai sai''), if he's out of practice, more subtle tonal and other vocal sounds would need a bit of time to revert back to standard Japanese.

Again, I only scratched the surface of how this all works, and the whole 'Okinawan or Japanese' thing seems quite complex (especially since there's a limited amount of sources in English), but this is fanfiction and I'm doing this for fun without (hopefully) being disrespectful, so.

Whoops. Sorry for the rant?

Anyway, I think that's it for now, so hopefully until next time!

- Yara