So this is the day repressed feelings are coming back to bite me in the ass... Oh gosh, I never learn, do I?

The audacity of some people, I swear to gosh... Inhales nervously.

I've been keeping this for a while. I don't really like to complain about these things, because people usually go to the conclusion that I'm weird. (They're not wrong, though xD)

I'm not a patient person, for starters. I'm fully aware and totally okay with that, that's who I am and I know I won't change, so I just learned to live with it.

I also have anger issues. I remember having serious crisis of anger ever since I was a little girl. And, again, I'm totally okay with that. It bothers me, yes, but I can't help it. And I have my ways of coping with it.

With that in mind, it's not really my fault that I tend to... blow up sometimes. I try my best to control my emotions, and I'm pretty good at it. When I'm alone, that is.

Unfortunately, I can't be alone all the time. I live in a world full of people, and I have to deal with them sometimes. And, I swear to gosh, the audacity of some people...

Yes, I'm about to enter victim mode and pretend there's nothing wrong with me and this is all people's fault. Let me have it xD

I'm not a fan of affection and emotions. If I see someone wanting to be affective towards me, to touch me, to be around me, or try to have any interaction with me, I run. That's probably why I don't have any friends irl... Anywhoooo xD

My mom tries to touch me and show me affection all the time. It's understandable, for reasons I don't feel comfortable sharing, but... no. Just... no, please.

Every time I see her approaching, I dodge it very quickly. But, apparently, mom doesn't understand boundaries; so she just touches me anyway. Now, that's not a nice thing, is it? If someone doesn't like being touched, just respect them and leave them alone.

Next... Oh gosh, this is going to cause some bullsh*t, I can see it...

Since I'm trying to save myself here... This isn't directed at anyone, and I mean that. If the shoe fits, though... That's all I'm saying ‪( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)‬

I said I'm not a fan of affection and emotions, right? Well, I'm not a fan of clinginess either. If I see someone clinging onto me, I run.

Thing is: I'm a very cold person. Feelings and sh*t aren't for me. Relationships are a big no no to me, since I feel like they're either clinging onto me or suffocating me. Romantic or not, I feel the same way.

I'm not sorry or ashamed to admit that I like being alone. I like spending time with myself than with anyone else. Whenever I'm with people, I feel suffocated. And some people understand, but the people I'm talking about really don't. That bothers me a lot. It makes me feel like I don't matter, like I'm here for that person. I'm sorry, but I'm not. I don't spin around you. And me wanting to be alone doesn't mean I like you any less, jeez.

Phew, I feel like I'm not carrying a lot of weight anymore. These things were bothering me for a while. Since November, I don't feel like I'm a human anymore. I feel like I'm being controlled, or like I'm an animal, and heaven knows I hate that. I thought I was about to explode from holding my feelings, but not anymore.

Now, do I regret saying some things I said here? Maybe. Do I give a flying f*ck? No xD

Anyway, thanks for reading this. I know it's awful to see someone complaining, but I really had to. I hope it wasn't too harsh or confusing xD

Until next time, peeps. Luv, Angel