# HAVING TOO MUCH FUN WITH THESE PHOTOS

Have another funny picture:

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Eren Jaeger had what some would call an ego -- and a rather big one at that. Therefore, it wasn't hard for him to believe that someone would like him than more than just a friend. In fact, he already had a sneaking suspicion a few people did. Like Armin. Why else would he hang around him a lot? Of course, he rationalized, because Armin liked him like that. (Look kids! Eren's super smart!)

Now, one day after he'd spent several hours memorizing Commander Erwin's plans for the upcoming 57th expedition, he reported to Captain Levi for his daily chores along with the other members of the Levi Squad. They stood in a line awaiting instructions as Levi looked at each one of them except Eren whom he glared at with vehemence that could kill all the titans if passion alone could. To be honest, Eren found Levi pretty scary with his grumpy yet apathetic-looking face he wore all the time. Like, where was the dude's emotions? But whatever. He should stop questioning that when he's being told orders.

"Did you hear me, Jaeger?" Levi snapped at him. Geez, Eren thought, who pissed in his cheerios . . .

"U-Uh, yessir!"

"Then what'd I just say?"

"To um . . . to uh . . . "

"Clean the kitchen, you brat." Levi walked over to him and got right up in his face before giving a disapproving grunt. "Listen next time. If you don't listen outside the walls, you'll die. Got that?"

Eren nodded his head frantically as sweat came down the side of his head in small beads.

"Good. Now get to work."

Get to work he did; this was his dream job after all and he was gonna work hard at it. He was about half-way done with the kitchen when he ran out of cleaning supplies. He'd worked extra hard on this because Levi's standards were so very high, so he wasn't very surprised that he'd run out. He'd kinda gotten in the zone by that time; he'd begun to see why Levi liked this so much. The work was so monotonous that it allowed your mind to wander. He spent the whole time thinking of the day he, Armin, and Mikasa would finally see the ocean.

He held a happily stupefied expression as he walked lazily down the stone-floored hallways of the abandoned Scouting Regiment headquarters. It was finally sinking in: he was in the regiment he'd always wanted to be in and finally had a chance to kill some titans. How awesome was this? Amazingly awesome.

He could tell something was different the moment he heard movement from within the supplies' closet.

"Levi what do you . . . "

Was that Mikasa's voice?

Then came another deeper voice. Was that Levi?! No . . . he sounded too . . . what's the word? . . . nice. Yeah, that person sounded way too gentle or nice or anything.

Eren wasn't sure if he should intrude on anything that might've been happening, but he was curious by nature and couldn't resist looking at least for a little bit. Besides, if worst came to worst, he could simply say he needed supplies from the closet as an excuse. It wasn't lying.

Eren whistled in an attempt to seem nonchalant as he swiftly grabbed the doorknob to the closet and hurriedly opened the door to be greeted with a sight he thought he'd never ever see.

It was dark inside the closet and Eren could tell neither Levi nor Mikasa had planned on being seen. Levi held onto Mikasa's scarf like it was his damn lifeline and kept her close to his face. This was pretty appalling to Eren and he didn't really know why, but it also felt immensely awkward; he felt like he shouldn't be seeing this -- like the moment was intimate somehow. Eren couldn't tell what their expressions had been before he'd opened the door, but right then, they both looked angry and ticked -- at him.

It wasn't very smart on their part since it was the closest and most supplied supply closet that held all the cleaning stuff. Where else was Eren supposed to get more Windex? Kroger? He's kind of 2000 years too early. Eren blamed them. I regret nothingggggg!

"Jaeger?!"

"Eren?!"

He was surprised to find that they both sounded equally distressed about the situation. Ah. So this was something a bit more intimate. Whoops.

Oh lord he was going to have dirty thoughts whenever he looked at either of them for days. Welp, time to wash his mouth out with soap and burn his eyeballs to get rid of the disgusting images. Thanks, body. I really appreciate puberty.

"U-Uh, sorry! I'll just . . . leave you two . . . to-- whatever you were doing. Bye!" He slammed the door on their protesting voices. Oh wait, shit. He forgot the Windex. He opened back up the door and grabbed the plastic bottle filled with blue liquid silently as all three of them just stared into each others' narrowed eyes. "Ha-ha," he laughed dryly, "forgot this."

He scrubbed those windows so hard as he tried to get rid of the dirty images of what Mikasa and his Captain had been doing in that closet. Wasn't it against the rules for a subordinate to be involved with their Captain? Oh well. Levi knew what he was doing, right? Best not to question him lest he get assigned even more chores.

That night, the incident was still fresh in his mind. He turned to his best friend Armin to get a diagnosis for his disease he thought he might be contracting.

"Alright, Eren, I want you to lie down on that couch for me and just relax." Armin took a seat on the couch adjacent to the one Eren lay down on. "Now, tell me why you called me out here today."

"Well," Eren began as he gently breathed in and out, "I saw something today that I need to get off my chest. I think the other two people involved were trying to keep it a secret but you're a trustworthy person, right?"

"I would hope so anyways. But now, continue with your story." Armin tapped the clipboard that had magically appeared in his hands (or so it would seem MWAHAHAHAHA).

"I was cleaning the kitchen like Captain Levi asked me to, but I ran out of cleaning supplies so I went down the hall to the supplies closet. It was the closest and y'know I didn't want to walk upstairs to that supply closet but anyways, when I opened it up, I saw Mikasa,"--Armin's curiosity had been piqued--"and Captain Levi in the closet huddled up with the brooms."

"I see. So, what does this have to do with the 'condition' you think you might have?"

Eren twiddled his thumbs as he released a huge sigh and stared up at the ceiling. He wondered vaguely how one would go about installing a similar ceiling in their own home when Armin tapped his pen that he borrowed from a dude who works at Kroger impatiently on the clipboard to draw him out of his thoughts.

"Oh, right, yes, well the thing is this: their faces were too close for comfort, Armin. I think there's something going on between the Captain and Mikasa -- something romantic, bro. How is it that she got to him before I could?! I've been with him longer . . . but she's hot too so I suppose two hot people is the combination for true love a lot of the time . . ."

Before Armin could whack Eren upside the head for both ever thinking he had a chance with Levi, not understanding how love works, and shouting, "Notice me, Senpai!" he pushed it to the back of his mind for later review and focused on the matter at hand.

Armin interrupted Eren's wandering thoughts. "Get back on track. What does it have to do with your condition?"

"Welp, ever since then I've been having these weird images of what they would be doing in the closet so close together and--"

"Okay let me stop you right there. I don't think anyone wants to hear that. Eren, I diagnose you with puberty. Get over it."

"Wait what--"

"You heard me. It's normal for a 15-year-old boy to have perverted thoughts about women or men or both depending on your sexuality; it doesn't really matter. The only advice I'd give to you is this: get over it quickly because I'm positive Levi and/or Mikasa will kill you if they ever find out. Also, it might help to talk about it, so . . . spill the juicy details, buddy."

Eren -- of course -- trusted his friend/therapist wholeheartedly and was totally like, "Yeah this is a good idea."

Eren spilled all the juicy details while Armin memorized and stored away all of them for later gossip. The best thing about being the quiet one, Armin thought, was that no one suspects you'll spread rumors and they just spill all their secrets to you.

Later that night, Eren had almost completely forgotten about the earlier incident having gotten sidetracked by his hatred for the titans again, but Armin certainly hadn't. If there's one thing Armin loved to do, it was to talk. Unfortunately, there weren't many people who would sit down and listen to him besides Eren and Mikasa but both of those people weren't options at this point.

The next best option: Jean Kirstein.

Armin rather liked Jean and it may or may not be because he was basically a taller version of Eren, but that's besides the point; Jean didn't mind hearing Armin's gossip. Now, Armin knew it probably wasn't the best idea to spread rumors, but he wasn't technically; he was just talking about other people behind their backs. What Armin didn't pay much attention to was that Jean liked to talk too and didn't hesitate to talk about what Armin had talked about to him.

It was like that game Telephone where you whisper a word into another's ear until eventually in the end it comes out distorted and inaccurate.

So, this rumor turned into that Levi and Mikasa had actually been doing the do in the closet and Eren had walked in on them. (There might've also been a version where Eren joined and they had a threesome but yeah it didn't become very popular for some reason.)

Eventually, Hanji was spying on the cadets (read: hiding under their beds while they slept to map the average cadets' sleeping pattern), and heard two girls talking about the rumors. How could she not pass up the opportunity to freak Levi and Mikasa out about this? Therefore, that night, she scooted out from underneath the cadets' bed and slipped underneath Levi's covers. When he awoke that morning, he found a wild Hanji lying in the bed beside him.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

"WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT GET OUT OF MY BED, SHITTY FOUR EYES."

"OoOoooo you just combined two insults into one. Nice."

Levi pushed her onto the floor and then used his nearby 3DMG blades to push her out of the room until he could sufficiently throw a punch and she could swiftly dodge it -- y'know, the normal wake up routine.

"Waiiiiiiiit! Levi!" Hanji yelled through the wooden door separating them. "I have something weird to tell you!"

"I'm not listening! It's probably something weird about titans anyways!"

"BUT JUST LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING!"

"If it gets you to shut up, ask away." You could practically see the sarcasm from his voice coagulating in the air.

"Did you actually fuck Mikasa in a closet?"

"What the fuck?! NO! What the hell kind of question is that?!"

"An honest one. There's a rumor going around. See, a couple of days ago, you ordered Eren to clean the kitchen and then he went to the closet to get some more cleaning supplies. That's when he walked in on your and Mikasa doing the do."

There was a muffled thumping noise as Levi's Faith in Humanity levels dropped close to zero for the second time in his life (the first being when he walked in on Erwin stroking his eyebrows and giving himself a pep talk with the words, "Your name is ErWIN not ErLOSE!").

"I'm--going--to--kill--Jaeger. I can easily just say he went rogue and drastic measures had to be taken! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Five seconds later . . .

"AHH I swear, sir, I didn't spread that rumor! PLZDON'TKILLMEISTILLWANNASEETHEOCEAN!"

"What do you mean?! You were the only one there! You had to have spread the rumor! Who did you tell?!"

"Well, I-- I-- I told Armin!"

"ARLERT."

"Ah oh no here comes the Levi monster," Armin drawled as he randomly appeared with a sudden boost of confidence and self esteem.

Levi glared at him.

"HEARD YOU WAS TALKING SHIT, ARMIN. THAT TRUE?" (#having way too much fun with these photos)

"Is this about that rumor of you and Mikasa doing it in the closet?"

"What if it is?"

"All I can tell is that I told Jean and he most likely told everyone in the Scouting Regiment so whoopsies looks like I have to choose my gossip partner better next time, sir."

"When did you become such a dick Armin?"

"What do you mean 'become'? HA-HA!"

Levi made a face that basically said, "I don't get paid enough for this," before turning around to see Kirstein looking pale-faced and ashen as he stood on the threshold of the room.

"Uh, heh. Hello, sir?" he greeted uncertainly.

"It was nice knowing you, Jean," Armin remarked.

"ARMIN SOLD YOU OUT, NOT ME, SO DON'T HAUNT ME WHEN YOU DIE!"

"Eren, wtf bro why'd you throw me under the bus like that?!"

"I believe more in ghosts than our friendship."

"Wow I'm so touched."

"Okay well you two can go work out your friendship problems later," Levi cut in, "but for right now, KIRSTEIN, GO PLAY DRESS UP FOR THE NEXT WEEK."

"WTF WAIT LEVI PLEASE HAVE MERCY."

One week later . . .

While Jean revealed his true colors, Erwin decided to talk to Levi about the rumors even though they'd at this point been pretty much forgotten.

"Hey, Levi," Erwin began.

"Hm?"

"What were you doing with Mikasa in that supply closet anyways?"

"Well, see, that's kind of a long story."

Erwin raised his perfectly plucked, caterpillar eyebrows. "Well, I've got time and the need for entertainment."

"I was putting the Mr. Clean back on the top shelf when Mikasa bumped into me which caused me to fall into the closet. I grabbed onto the closest thing which just so happened to be Mikasa's scarf and she fell down on top of me. Her hand was still on the doorknob as she fell so she managed to close the door behind her. In the dark, I grabbed her scarf and brought her closet to my face so I could affectively scare the shit out of her and started to lecture her to look where she's going. She said back to me, 'Sorry, you're so short that I didn't see you there.'"

"OH, BUURRRRNNNN."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Erwin. That was completely necessary."

"I know, right."

"I'm face-palming right now, but you probably can't see it because your eyebrows are so bushy they cover you sight."

"Ha-ha. I think I might need some Aloe for that burn, actually."

Hanji bursts onto the scene. "REALLY BECAUSE I HAVE THE ALOE READY."

"Okay, Hanji, calm down," Erwin reprimanded.

"NO WAIT I HAVE ANOTHER RUMOR TO TELL YOU GUYS."

"Oh shit what is it?" Levi sighed.

Hanji cleared her throat. "So, Erwin called you into his office for some 'papers' and ended up fucking you!"

Erwin and Levi both face-palmed.

"That's it. I have given up. Fuck these cadets. I hate them."