***WARNING*** IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER

YOU WERE WARNED . . .

I DON'T WANT ANY IRATE COMMENTS OR MESSAGES!

CHAPTER 26:

CATALINA'S POV:

Jaden and I are in his car, at the top level of his parking garage, surrounded by ten vampires.

Well, this sucks.

"Um, Jaden?" I ask nervously.

He is tense, his whole body wound tight. "Yes, angel?" He answers with a calm voice that contradicts is fierce facial expression.

"Remember when I asked you how many vampires you could take at one time and you said the most you'd ever tested yourself against was five young vampires?"

"Yes."

"Ever want to try your ancient vampire skills on ten at one time?" I joke.

"Not particularly," he answers, then adds, "and 300 years is not ancient, Catalina."

I ignore his annoyance. "Oh, and Jaden?"

"Yes, angel?" He finally takes his eyes off our unwelcome guests to look at me.

"Please tell me that theses aren't old vampires." Otherwise we may be more screwed than I already think we are. I've only taken on one young vampire by myself and Jaden has taken on five. One plus five equals six. Not ten.

The corner of his mouth quirks up in an almost smile, "They are young. The oldest one isn't even twenty years a vampire yet. The youngest is probably just out of the schoolroom."

Hmm, he's old enough to use the term, 'just out of the schoolroom'. I wisely keep my mouth shut on that one. Barely. There are more important things to focus on right now.

One of the vampires in front of us pounds his fist on the hood, denting it. I flip him off. Jaden rolls his eyes, then rolls down the window one inch and says, "The same is going to happen to your face."

The vampire, who is obviously the leader, smirks. "We want her." He points to me. I'm the only 'her' in the car. Was there a question as to Jaden's gender? I glance at him. He is awfully pretty . . .

I roll down my window an inch and shout out, "Everybody does!" Okay, I probably don't need to shout. They're vampires. Even baby vamps have muy excellente hearing.

Jaden uses the driver's controls to roll up my window along with his. I try to roll it down an inch again. It doesn't work. I shoot him a dirty look, "You set the child locks?"

"Not the time for this," he says in a condescending voice. Then he places a hand on my arm, as if about to restrain me. Didn't know that I needed it. "Catalina, you are staying in the car."

I slouch back against the seat, crossing my arms, "No shit, senior citizen. I didn't even bring any weapons with me. It's not like I can punch a vampire to death."

Jaden clears his throat, "Actually . . . " Instead of finishing his sentence, he reaches into the back of the car and unhooks a latch to lift up the backseat. Underneath is a vampire hunter's wet dream.

Weapons. Lots of beautiful weapons.

"All right!" I say excitedly and snatch out a crossbow and silver-pointed stakes. Setting them on my lap, I reach back again for a set of silver sais. "You didn't tell me that you had James Bond's car."

"Yeah, if James Bond plans to stake some vampires." Jaden rolls down his window a crack, "I'm coming out."

The leader guy points at Jaden, "You stay," then points at me, "Her out."

I laugh, "Jaden, can vampires be mentally retarded?"

"Obviously," he mumbles. I laugh again, but Jaden has a serious look on his face. "Catalina."

"What?"

"He literally is mentally retarded."

I lean towards the windshield to take a closer look at the vamp in question. "Holy shit! Who the hell would turn a retard into a vampire?"

"Someone very sick," Jaden says sadly.

I laugh, "Or someone with a sense of humor." I cock the first stake into the crossbow. "This is going to be a piece of cake. Oh my god. I might actually feel bad for killing these vamps. If he's their leader, then that's saying something about the rest of them."

Jaden sighs impatiently, "Catalina, take a closer look at the rest of them."

I do. And laugh again.

This is a vampire gang of people who were mentally retarded in life, and if their leader is any indication, not much brighter in death.

"Catalina," Jaden says sternly. "This isn't funny."

I work hard to hold in my laughter. Really, I do. Some things just can't be helped. "Jaden, I would just like to say that I have the utmost respect for the mentally or physically disabled. They overcome obstacles nowadays that would have been unheard of a century ago." I glance sideways at Jaden, "You would know. However-"

He cuts me off, "Please don't finish that sentence."

"However," I continue, "I'm about to kick some retard vamp ass."

Jaden groans, "You're staying in the car."

"You're not the boss of me," I say sternly.

"I forget how young you still are," he says like the old man vamp that he is. Okay, so old man vamp in a hot young body. But still . . .

"You suck . ."

He smiles, fangs extended and gleaming, "You know it baby."

With that, he opens the sunroof, then jumps out, too fast for my human eyes to follow. I am so jealous. I try opening the door and find that he has set the child locks on both the windows and doors. I reach over to turn off the child locks.

And find a busted control panel. Crap! He is so dead. Not undead, but D-E-A-D. Stupid cocky vampire. Taking all the retarded-vamp-killing glory for himself.

I watch through the windshield as Jaden twists the head off one of the vampires. Poor guy. There goes his Special Olympics career. He would have won at every event, too. With his heightened vampire senses, strength and speed.

Okay, my own thoughts are getting a little retarded.

I would never make fun of human retards, but when vampire retards are trying to either kidnap or kill you, then that gives you some leeway that you wouldn't normally have. They're fair game.

What's Jaden's problem anyways? It's okay to kill them, but not make fun of them? Makes no sense to me.

There goes another head . . . . rolling to a stop twenty feet away. I start singing "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Great song.

"Angel?" Jaden calls out.

"Yeah, baby?" I call back.

"You're not a good singer."

"Yeah, well, you . . . Suck!"

He laughs and rips off another head. I couldn't have found a better man for me. Human or vampire.

Three retard vamps dead, seven to go. And me stuck here out of the action.

Just then, a vamp jumps on the hood. I lift my crossbow, ready to fire as soon as he breaks through. He bares his fangs at me. Fangs on the mentally handicapped. Not a good look.

I sigh sadly. I'm like an angel of mercy. Putting retarded vamps out of their misery everywhere.

He breaks through the windshield. Another jumps on it next to him. I stake one with the crossbow and reach out to manually stake the other. Soldier of God, that's what I am.

Five vamps down, make that six. Jaden just ripped off another head. Four to go.

My man may be efficient, but he's not very creative.

I crawl out of the car, through the windshield. I'm trying not to get cut up on the glass, mostly succeeding. Someone grabs me from behind. Dammit, one of the retards was on the top of the car. He pulls me up, so that I'm standing on the top of the car next to him.

He spins me around. Okay, it's not a he, but a she. A mentally handicapped, fully fanged, she. This is just wrong. I'd like to smack the vampire that car-jacked a short bus and turned all these vamps.

"You're coming with us," she says and I can't tell if it's her being mentally handicapped or the fangs that are causing the slight lisp.

I palm the handle to one of the sais and reach behind her back to stake her heart. Yup. I'm a backstabber.

Three to go.

Still standing on top of the car, I turn around to take advantage of the scenic view of the action. I see Jaden surrounded by the three remaining vampires. They are taking him on as group, instead of one-on-one like before.

So, they're not so dumb after all. I gotta give them props for learning and adapting to the situation. Too bad they didn't figure this out when there was still ten of them.

Too bad for them.

Jaden swings his arm out, backhanding one and sending him flying against a concrete column. The vampire immediately jumps up, coming back at Jaden. In those few seconds, Jaden has taken out another vamp.

Two to go.

Ten seconds later, one to go.

The leader.

"Time out!" I shout. My heart wrenching at the inevitability of the situation and the whole unfairness of what was forced upon this man.

They both stop and turn to me. Probably not the wisest thing to do during a fight. Jaden grabs him around the neck from behind, "What, angel?"

"Do we have to kill him?" Then I whisper as if Jaden is the only one that can hear me, "I mean, he's mentally handicapped. Can't we just question him and send him on his way?"

Jaden raises his eyebrows in a skeptical look, "You want me to send him on his merry way?"

"Maybe," I say, unsure. Then I turn my attention to the enemy vampire. "Who sent you?"

His eyes dart around, as if looking for a way out of this, "Don't know." Same as with the humans, anonymous. Great.

"Who made all of you?" I ask, curious to know the bastard's name.

"Ralph made me," he answers. "I made the others. They are dead. I will make more."

That surprises me. This guy is determined to have his little retarded vampire gang, isn't he? The special needs deserve better than this. "Guess he'll have to die, Jaden."

Snap. Rip. Toss. Off with his head.

I jump down to the hood, then to the ground. I walk survey the carnage. "This is really fucked up, Jaden. If a gang of midget vampires show up, I think I'll lose it."

Jaden steps around a body towards me, "Little people vampires, Catalina. Try to be politically correct, would you?"

I wave my hand in the air at his scolding, "Whatever. In a hundred years, the term 'little people' will be politically incorrect too and we'll be calling them something else."

"When in Rome . . ." he trails off, kicking a head out of his way.

As he gets closer, I look him up and down. Gross. Really freaking gross. I hold up a hand to halt him, "Don't come any closer, you're covered in blood. Couldn't you have been a little neater with your kills?"

"Catalina," he says impatiently, "I just killed seven vampires in a matter of minutes. To save you, I might add. I won't apologize for the mess."

I grin, "So, you can take seven at one time, huh? Beat your own record."

He lets out an exasperated sound to match his exasperated facial expression, "You are impossible. And I don't think they count. It was too easy. Besides, you beat your own record with three." He holds out a hand, palm up, "Toss me a stake."

I toss one and he proceeds to move around to each of the ten bodies. Staking them and causing them to disintegrate into fire and ash. Well, that takes care of some of the mess.

Once Jaden is finished, he smiles evilly and me and starts to walk towards me again, bloody clothes and all. "Jaden, I love you, but you're so gross right now. Can't you go take a shower first?"

He is still smiling, still walking, "I think I deserve a kiss for being your knight in shining armor."

I put my hands on my hips, "I killed three vampires. Obviously I'm a little bit of a badass myself."

He nods, an indulgent look on his face, "You are, angel." He is treating me like a little kid who just accomplished a goal.

"And what's up with the enabling the child locks? I am not a child, Jaden."

He shrugs, "It was better than using mind control on you to keep you put."

I stomp my foot, "Neither is acceptable!"

He nods indulgently again, only a few feet separates us now. "I'm sorry, angel. I won't do it again. You're a big vampire hunter girl. I realize my mistake."

I glare at him, "I don't think you really mean that."

"Oh, but I do," he has an innocent expression on his face.

I back up towards the concrete half wall of the parking garage. I glance down at the street below. We are five stories up, I'm trapped. "Just for the child lock stunt, you don't get a kiss," I tease him.

He ignores me and takes a few steps forward. I look down at his clothing again. Gross.

Then, just as he is about to close the final distance, I hear a sound to the right of me. My head whirls in its direction. A man is standing on the ledge. He smiles, a big toothy fang grin. A vampire.

Another sound to the left and another vampire. Jaden's eyes dart back and forth between the vampires on either side of me. As he makes a move towards me, I hear a sound directly behind me. Shit. Arms grab me from behind and pull me up onto the ledge.

Right before the vampire holding me jumps, I see the other two vampires jumping on top of Jaden.

Then I am falling five stories below, in the arms of an unknown vampire, screaming Jaden's name.

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