:November 2nd, XX46; Saturday.

:HIGH-ACTION EVENT.

•~~~~•

"Heeey, besties!"

Remy barged into the Croft household at 10 AM, dragging Emile in with him by the hand, the door of course not moving at all since he and his husband could literally just walk right through it. He noticed Joe on the couch in the living room, who glanced up at him and smiled, but Remy's attention turned to the kid's parents in the kitchen. Patton was standing opening a jar of jam while Logan stood behind him, arms wrapped very tightly around his waist, head resting on top of the other's.

"Oh, right, isn't it their anniversary?" Emile commented. Remy let go of his hand and began slowly advancing towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, it is... totally excited to see how that plays out. What are they even doing?"

Emile followed up behind him. "Making breakfast, probably."

"Logan, honey-bear, I need to get the bread," Patton suddenly said, and Logan nodded, kissing the top of his head before stepping away a bit. Remy watched in mild confusion as they grabbed hands before Logan could fully let go of his waist. They shuffled together over to the cabinet that had the bread in it, and once Patton had the bread, Logan immediately returned to the position he had been holding Patton in before.

"...Are they trying to make it so they're always in contact with each other at all times, no matter what?"

"Rem, why do you sound so surprised? You did that with me for an entire month after you died."

"Oh, shut up, I know I did. But they're doing this every anniversary, I'm guessing? They need some therapy, that probably isn't healthy."

"You're right, it's not."

Remy glanced over at Joe- he, so far, wasn't phased by any of this.

"Happy anniversary," Logan then mumbled, making Remy look back to the two of them. He saw Patton smile and then begin to turn himself around in Logan's arms, abandoning whatever food he had been preparing. He wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders.

"You've said that to me maybe ten times already, hon," Patton giggled quietly.

"And you've said it the same amount, my love."

The two of them then smiled at each other, and they connected for a brief kiss, which was only as brief as it was because after a moment, Patton playfully pushed his husband back.

"Logan~... don't kiss me so forcefully, we're not alone yet," He whispered. Remy furrowed his eyebrows with a blink.

"We will be soon enough, my husband."

"Your husband," Remy barely heard Patton repeat underneath his breath in an enamored tone with a smile. It was then that Logan leaned forward a bit more, to Patton's ear, and began whispering something into it, and as Patton's face grew redder Remy tore his eyes away from the situation to make very concerned eye contact with Emile, who looked just as terrified as he did.

"Uhm- okay," Remy covered his mouth for a second before glancing at Joe, who was still sitting in the living room unphased, looking at his phone with a bored expression. Remy sighed. "In front of- what the actual fuck did I just witness?"

"Well... they're definitely in a very co-dependent relationship," Emile mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. "We should get Joe out of here right now."

"Shit- right, right. Joe!" Remy looked over to his nibbling, who glanced up. "Make an excuse to leave, it's time to go."

Joe nodded and looked over to his parents, who Remy refused to look back at and just hoped they weren't doing anything too weird at that moment.

"Hey, dads? I'm gonna get going to Sage's house now, I'll be back tomorrow around noon."

"Okay, have fun, Joe!" Patton said. Joe got up and walked past the kitchen to the front door, Remy and Emile hastily following behind him. They were soon on the sidewalk, and Remy let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay- Joe, gotta ask. What the fuck did I just witness?"

Joe furrowed his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"What do you mean, huh? Your parents, in the kitchen. Possessive as shit. What the hell was that?!"

Joe let out a small, confused breath of laughter. "What? You mean, like, how they're obsessed with each other a lot more than usual on their anniversary? Like most- if not all- married couples are? And they won't let go of each other for the entire day and their kids have to go leave the house. Doesn't... don't all couples- aren't they all like that?"

Remy gave Joe an expression that basically read oh god, he's worse than I thought, before sighing and removing his sunglasses from his face, setting them on top of his head. "Sweetheart, that's not normal, and this is coming from someone who is almost as equally obsessed with their significant other.

"Wait, really?"

"Uh-huh. Joe, honey, that is called trauma, yeah? Ever heard of it? I have it, Emile has it, your dad has it, your father has it. But most people don't, to that extent, okay? Mhm? Literally no mentally stable person is that obsessed and dependent over their significant other. See, all four of us have seen people die, yeah? And I'm pretty sure you haven't. And that's why they're like that. That's the trauma we all have. So go on to Sage's house, but don't think this is an everyday thing, because this shit ain't normal, alright? You got it?"

"...What?"

"You're probably only this obsessed with Oliver because that's the standard of romantic affection that has been set for you your entire life. For the love of... just- please don't murder anyone, mkay?"

"I'm not gonna murder someone! Why do you keep asking that?"

Remy pursed his lips and placed his sunglasses back where they were before. "Just gotta make sure..."

A few moments later the three arrived at Sage's house. Joe walked up to the front door and he knocked, and a few moments later one of Sage's parents opened the door, Remy guessing it to be Virgil, based on what he was pretty sure he looked like and the fact that his hair seemed to be somewhat damaged in some areas, probably from dying it so much as a teenager.

"Hey, Joseph," he greeted, before turning around a bit. "Hey, Sage, Joe's here!" he yelled back. Virgil stepped to the side and Joe walked inside, Remy and Emile following behind them. Pretty soon Sage entered the room, his other parent speed-walking into the foyer soon after him, grinning and starting towards Joe.

"Joseph Janus Croft!" He quickly captured him in a hug, and Joe chuckled, hugging him back. They pulled away after a second. "How's my favorite kid doing, huh?"

"I'm right here, pops," Sage said with an eyebrow raised. Roman laughed, looking over at him.

"Oh, I'm only joking, Sage. You know that," he pushed his shoulder a bit. "You two do whatever, there's food in the kitchen, make yourself at home, as usual. We're gonna order pizza around seven."

"Thank you," Joe smiled before him and Sage began walking to Sage's room, which was down a flight of stairs and seemed to encompass the entirety of their small basement. There were LED lights currently set to green and one of the walls was entirely filled with playbills hung on string, but otherwise, it was a decently bland room. What Remy mostly noticed was the ghost camera, set up in the center of it.

"Did you want to take more pictures of Remy and Emile?" Joe asked as they closed the door of his bedroom. "They are here, by the way, as we planned."

"Oh, right, I forgot to tell you-" Sage began walking towards the camera. "-I was playing around with it a bit last night and I think I got the screen to work. So if I turn it on right now I might just be able to see them, I don't know how good the quality will be but it might work."

"Well, shit, I gotta be on high alert now that everyone's gonna see me," Remy said, brushing off his leather jacket a bit as Joe walked over to the camera as well. Sage stared at it for a moment, the two ghosts standing in front of the lens, and then the former pressed a button on it, eyebrows soon raising. He glanced between the screen and where Remy was standing, grinning.

"Awe, sweet! It works! I can see them both, that's crazy!"

"Who would've thought," Remy said. He blinked as he heard his voice repeated back as he spoke through the camera. Sage's eyes widened.

"Woah, I didn't know it picked up sound, too," he mumbled.

"Shit- it does?" Remy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hi, Sage," Emile smiled and waved at the camera.

"I should've prepared a monologue or something. Uhm- yep, Remy something Picani, not sure if I ever had a middle name to be completely honest. Retired serial killer. Secretary. Flaming homosexual. Skills include ghosting people and knowing how to properly dispose a dead body using a wood chipper."

"...That's definitely him," Joe smiled, also looking between Remy and the camera's screen.

"Also, my birthday is tomorrow if that counts for anything. Can I sit down? Or- never mind, I don't have to ask, your parents said to make myself at home. Even though they weren't talking to me."

"...Wow," Sage blinked.

"You see what I have to deal with all day now?" Joe crossed his arms.

Remy laughed. "Oh, shut up, you love me." Joe then chuckled a bit himself. Remy glanced behind him and noticed a tall beanbag chair, so he tried to sit down, but ended up falling through it to the ground instead. He rolled his eyes.

"Guess I'm just supposed to sit here since your furniture isn't compatible with ghosts," he mumbled.

"Is there a way to make it that?" Sage asked.

"Yeah, it's not that hard, but I'm too lazy to do it. I'll just stay here."

Emile sighed. "Rem, stand up, I'll do it."

"Fine, fine."

A few moments passed of just trying to get everything in the room situated, and soon enough Emile and Remy both sat in the bean bag chair together, Joe and Sage on the latter's bed.

"Oh, yeah, your birthday is tomorrow, isn't it, Uncle Rem?" Joe asked after some moments.

"Sure is. Guessing you'll be stuck celebrating your father's, though."

"I could make an excuse to hang out with Sage to celebrate it."

"That's true. Wouldn't both your parents wanna get together, though?"

"They usually don't since it's the day after my parent's anniversary. My dad never wants to get out of bed, I always hear him complain about-"

"I think we should change the subject," Emile suddenly commented, smiling a bit uncomfortably. Remy nodded, pointing his finger at his husband a bit.

"Going with that. Okay, but, Sage, your... I don't know what you call him. Roman is eccentric. Seriously thought he'd be more chill by now, jeez."

"Hah, yeah, my pops is pretty loud sometimes. But you should be glad you haven't met my uncle, his brother, he's so much worse."

Joe hummed in agreement, nodding profusely. "Oh my god, I had to see him one time when my family came over here for Christmas a few years ago- didn't he, like, pour his drink into a toilet or something?"

"And then he drank it... yeah. All he ever talks about is weird, inappropriate stuff. Like, a popular one is how he was best friends with a serial killer in middle school or something. I'm not even sure if it's true at this point."

Remy pursed his lips. Inappropriate, loud, lack of basic common sense...

"...Hold up. Your uncle's name is..?"

"Uh, Remus. Why?"

Remy gawked, before beginning to smile. "Remus- Remus Williams. Holy shit, that fucker is still alive? He is still breathing?! What the hell!" He laughed a bit, while both the kid's eye's got a bit wider.

"Oh my god," Joe said.

"No way- were you the serial killer best friend?"

"Hell yeah I was. Damn, I forgot he had a twin brother- elementary through middle school, though. It was just myself, Emile, him, and our other two friends. A happy little gay group of five, we were. I always wondered what happened to him, after Emmy here died we all kinda grew apart. I never heard about him but I know the other two are working on some web series- ah, what were their names..." Remy looked up at you knowingly, "Joan and Talyn?"

"Huh..." Joe trailed off.

(yeah. that's right. don't question it, babes.)

"Well, thats-" Sage sighed. "-great, I guess? It's interesting. But that's not the reason Joe is here right now."

"Ah, right," Remy rolled his eyes, "it's because his parents are little co-dependent pieces of shit."

"What-?"

"No, no, I mean, we were gonna give him advice on asking out Oliver?"

"Oooh, right!" Remy sat up a bit. "Okay, kid, here's what you're gonna do-"

"Oh, no," Joe mumbled.

"Oh, yes. So- you go up to him on Monday, right? You say something that'll make him freeze in place- for his case all you probably gotta do is call him handsome, he seems pretty easy to fluster. You got that? Great. Then you just pin him up against a wall-"

"Uh, what?"

"-maybe stare down at his lips a bit, lean in like you're gonna kiss him but at the last moment pull away, and after all that you ask him out. On the spot."

Joe's face seemed to turn red at the thought of doing that, and he stared down into his lap, shaking his head a bit. Sage snorted.

"Is- is that what you did to get with my dad?" He asked.

"Pretty much. That's how I built up to it, at least."

"Remy, he wants it to last, y'know. Tell him to ask Oliver out how you asked me out," Emile grabbed his hand.

"I can't tell if you're trying to insult me or not, but no, there is no way he's gonna pull him aside in a crowded hallway and stumble over his words for five minutes before he can get anything out."

"...I thought it was pretty cute," Emile smiled.

"Well that just sounds awkward," Joe crossed his arms.

"I mean, maybe it wouldn't be if you just got rid of the stumbling-over-your-words bit," Sage added. "Like, just pull him aside when you get the chance Monday and tell him what you're feeling. Probably best to be honest, right?"

"It is much more fulfilling to pin someone against a wall, and I know that from experience," Remy mumbled, "but you do you, I guess."

"That would make both of us way too uncomfortable. Sage is right, I should probably just, y'know... say whatever it is that I'm feeling."

"You say that like you can't tell what you're feeling," Emile commented.

"Eh..? I mean I know I like him, obviously- like, a lot. But now I'm just questioning why I like him so much. Like- Remy pointed out that I might just be feeling so strongly because that's how my parents are."

"They are really weird with each other, aren't they?" Sage raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. What day is it today?" Remy asked.

"Uh... November second. Why?"

"Ah." He looked up at you. "Remember the November fourth thing from chapter twenty? Yeah, that's in, uh... two chapters. So..."

"Who are you talking to..?" Joe looked up at the ceiling.

"None of your business."

•~~~~•
really wasn't any of his business

see ya in the next chapter!👩‍👦
    ~Maxx(SanderShipper)