:January 14th, XX47; Tuesday.

:LOSE EVERYTHING.

•~~~~•

Logan awoke at six in the morning to his alarm, soft breathing on his neck coming from his sleeping husband, and the feeling of complete existential dread.

He inhaled slowly and gripped the blankets, Patton stirring next to him. He reached over to the alarm and turned it off, before nuzzling his head back into the crook of Logan's neck. The latter just stared at the ceiling, breathing slowly.

"Mmm... it's to early," Patton mumbled.

It was too early. It was far too early for Logan to be thinking about how his murder body count would be rising to six in a matter of hours. And the fact was, if Patton hadn't of come home when he did the day before... Logan wouldn't be doing this.

He had been looking for a reason- a sign, almost- to not do this for days now. But it had never come. Everything had been perfect, from the security cameras breaking at the store to the sudden rain to the timing of making the smoothie being somehow perfect.

There was still time to not do it, though. The bottle with the cyanide was in his work bag, there was a chance Patton could see it or he wouldn't be able to get it out of his bag in time to give it to Miss What's-Her-Name or he won't be able to get his gloves on or he won't even see her at all. So many things could go wrong.

And yet a part of him was sure it would work out... much to his dismay. He didn't want to be doing this. Yet he just had to. At least he wouldn't have to witness the death this time.

"...Logan, dear? Are you okay?"

Logan blinked and glanced down at his husband, who was now staring up at him. He picked at Logan's t-shirt, and the latter sighed.

"I'm fine. Just... shaken up. As usual."

Logan moved closer to his husband and hugged him, Patton frowning and hugging him back. He carded a hand through his hair.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

"Alright."

If he wouldn't have made the smoothie he wouldn't have to go through with this.

But just like his mother... this teacher was a monster.

•~~~~•

"Alright- next class we're going to be talking a bit about our class's final project, which won't be due until May but we'll be talking about it tomorrow. No homework tonight. You all may pack up, I'll see you next class."

Logan sighed as his students began to pack up, and he glanced over to his work bag, which was sitting idly underneath his desk. Something told him to put on the gloves inside of them, and he gulped, but he went ahead and did it, praying wearing gloves wouldn't make the action seem too suspicious.

It was lunch, then. Someone was likely going to come into the room soon. It would either be Patton, as they had began having lunch in his room again... or it would be Susan.

And right as he sat down at his desk, the door began to open.

"Lo-Bear~!"

Oh, good lord, it was time to commit a murder.

"Oh. I- hello, Susan."

Miss Kelchen swung her hips on her way over to Logan's desk, and she leaned her hands against it, staring at him almost lustfully. "So... how's my favorite man been?"

"I..."

He had to think. How could he do this?

"...I have been alright. But- uhm, I've realized I haven't been very nice to you lately and quite frankly it's been bothering me so I thought I would make you something."

Susan's eyes lit up. "Something? For me? Oh, Logan, that's so sweet! What is it?"

He reached under his desk with a gulp, hands shaking as he unzipped his bag, getting the bottle out and looking back to her. "It's just a smoothie. I'm not very good at cooking or anything."

That last part was a lie, but it didn't matter much. Susan stared at the secretly poisoned water bottle in awe, and then she grinned, reaching out to take it. A shiver went down Logan's spine as she popped open the cap and took a swig. He stood silently.

"...It's- mm. It's an... interesting flavor."

Logan sighed. It was time to find out if he was a good actor or not. "I'm sorry, I know it likely doesn't taste good, but I- ...really want us to be on good terms. I put a lot of effort into it."

"Oh?"

"A lot of... l-love."

Logan felt like he was going to throw up in his mouth. Susan blushed bright red, but then the lustful look in her eyes returned, and with a grin she wrapped her arms around Logan in a very, very tight embrace. Logan froze up, but he patted her on the back, hoping and praying she would just pull away, leave, and drink the goddamn cyanide.

She pulled back. "Oh, Logan... that is so sweet of you. I'll definitely make sure to start visiting you a bit more often. And I'll drink every last drop of this wonderful gift, don't you even worry."

She winked at him and squeezed his hand before leaving the room, a grin plastered on her face, and that was the last Logan ever saw of Susan Kelchen.

•~~~~•

"You ready to get going home, then?"

Logan stood up from his desk with a huff and a nod, Patton taking his hand as they began to walk out of the college building.

"I'm glad to be going home."

"Yeah. I'm sorry Susan hugged you earlier... what was that even about?"

With a grumble, Logan shuffled closer to his husband as they walked, not wanting to fully explain what he had done- at least not yet. "...I'm not sure."

"We can cuddle when we get home to make up for it."

"That sounds very nice."

The two got to the car, and once again Logan took a seat in the passenger's side of the car, letting out a deep breath as Patton began to drive.

The car ride wouldn't be a long one... and Joe would be home perhaps an hour after they arrived. So how long did he have to tell Patton, today? Perhaps the twenty minutes they'd be in the car now, plus an hour later on? But they'd be taking a nap or something when they got home- he shouldn't do it then. Yet he really didn't want to do it in that current moment. Or at all, truly.

"Logan? You okay, honey?"

Ah. And apparently it was obvious whenever Logan was distressed, so... he'd have to just go through with the confession.

"...I'm sorry." An apology was all he could muster out, very quietly, a breathy whisper. Patton seemed to hesitate, his foot nearing the break, but he just reached over to grab his hand.

"It's not your fault she hugged you. You didn't- like, go against our marriage, or anything, if that's what you think."

Logan hated the fact he said he made that smoothie with love. He wished he would've never said it. Perhaps all of that was best left unsaid... it wouldn't anger Patton, no- it was just so highly embarrassing and flat-out horrible, Logan couldn't bear to say it aloud.

"I'm... not apologizing for that. I understand it wasn't entirely my fault."

"Entirely?"

Logan stared down into his lap. He heard Patton let out a breath of realization.

"Oh... Oh, Logan, what- I- hold on."

The car jerked swiftly over to the side of the road, a place Logan seemed to be familiar with now, all the way back from when he was leaving Olive Garden after having dinner with his now-deceased mother.

"I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

"I... God-" Logan looked up at him. "The apples, Patton. It was all so perfect. We were at the store and the security camera shut off practically as soon as I looked at it. I wish that never happened. I wish I would've gone with you to pick up Joe, I- this is all my fault."

"Take a deep breath," Patton put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Keep looking at me. It's okay."

"It's not."

"Well, what did you do?"

"...I made a smoothie out of apple seeds and gave it to her. There's enough cyanide in it so that if she drinks the entire thing she'll either die or end up in a coma by tomorrow. And she definitely will drink it all."

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry, Patton."

The obvious response to that question should've been then why did you do it?, but Logan didn't have an answer for that. He wasn't sure why he did it- he never wanted to. He just had to. But it was too late anyways. And Patton didn't ask that.

Patton didn't ask anything. Logan's face almost broke when a look of shock came over his husband's own face, and it seemed like Patton was finally realizing all that was happening. As if he hadn't fully processed it yet and only now it had dawned on him that his husband had just killed two people in a relatively short time frame. His husband was murdering- again. Again.

"...Oh."

He looked like he was about to cry. No- both of them looked like they were about to cry.

"And... tomorrow is your birthday, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Ah."

Neither said a word, until Patton let out a pained sigh.

"Can we just... not think about this until after my birthday, maybe? I- I think we both just need a day to chill. And pretend like none of this is going on... y'know?"

Repression was taunting them once more.

"You're absolutely right."

•~~~~•
💃i🕺live💃and🕺breathe💃spite🕺

see you soon, babes.🎂
~remy(kiss my ass but also not rlly i'm married💅)