Chapter 68: The Hole of Despair
As Jungkook sat in space, His eyes fixed over at the window where he finally met with the stars. Just the sight of it made Jungkook release all the pain he faced after seeing Jimin scream and cry loudly. They had a while to reach the B248 and so, it made Jungkook's travel to space, take forever. “Don't you worry, My Jimin. I'll be there soon…” Jungkook thought in his head and just then, Taehyung unstrapped himself from the chair. “Taehyung!”
“Woah! I'm floating…” Taehyung said to himself and began to float over to the window close by. “Look! I can see the beautiful stars! Jungkook, you just can't keep thinking of Jimin every second you're up here. Or else, you'll look back at this moment and feel like you couldn't enjoy it because of your worries. Get over here!” Nagged the older astronaut as Jungkook smiled to himself and remained seated.
“Later, okay?” Assured the young man and after that, Taehyung was roaming around freely and happily. “I just wonder what he's up to right now…”
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Back on earth, Namjoon set a bowl of Kimchi stew right in front of Jimin. The older man had to go out of his way to buy Jimin a meal with beef, rice, kimchi and scallions added onto the stew. However, Jimin had no appetite. It's been already ten minutes to an hour since Jungkook left. It made Jimin silent after the tears he cried. He set aside the fact that Jungkook did tell him he'd be in pain when he was to see the rocket launch, but Jimin only wanted to see Jungkook one last time. Even if he was late.
Jimin stared at the bowl of Kimchi Stew and had a blank face as if he was left unamused. He had bags under his swollen eyes, streams of tears dried over his cheeks, and his own hair as messy from before when he tugged on it and cried. His voice was silent and he was more than depressed. Of course, this was so tough to him because he spent a year with Jungkook. Jungkook was his best friend, partner, and soulmate. Having the man leave was as worse as anything else in this world. Jimin was left with the painful memory of watching the rocket take off.
“Come on, Jimin… Eat. I was always here for you and here I'll be. Jungkook wanted me to take care if you while he was gone and that's what I'm doing. Eat something. I know you didn't have anything at all… if you sit there and starve, your stomach will begin to eat itself and you'll have a hole in the center of your own stomach! Then there won't be any of you left to finally see Jungkook come back.” Namjoon mentioned. The man was worried about his friend's health and refused to leave Jimin like this.
“I remember cooking with Jungkook every day… I miss that…” Jimin whispered and let out a sigh. “I don't want this… Jungkook and I didn't make it.”
“If you want… I could cook with you. We haven't done that in years. I don't mind doing that with you now. Think of it as… Friends cooking together. Just like the old days.” Namjoon suggested the sad man, but Jimin grew silent. “You're driving me crazy, Jimin… He wanted you to be strong and all you're giving him is nothing. Imagine him up there, fighting everything for you. Fighting his tears, his deep thoughts and longings to quit. Stop crying over him and worrying over him… He's doing okay and it's not fair that you won't put up a fight against all wrong because of that.”
“Namjoon…”
“Jimin, seeing you like this reminds me of myself when you left. I missed cooking with you too, I missed hugging you close and hearing your giggles. It's such a shame we both faced that… But don't you want to save yourself from the misery? This is tough… I know it is. But I’m not going to let you go through this alone. I'll be the person I needed back then when you left me.”
“You're doing so much for me…” Jimin whispered as the older pulled up a seat next to Jimin and grabbed the bowl of Kimchi Stew. “I told you to be the shoulder I cried on… Yet, you're doing so much more…”
“Because it's my job. I care about you, Dr. Park.” With those words being said, Jimin finally smiled to himself while Namjoon began to feed the young man the stew he went out to get. Jimin needed someone to be there for him and he was forever grateful to have Kim Namjoon by his side. Even though Namjoon had no one at the time, it never stopped him from being there for Jimin once Jungkook left.
As Namjoon sat there with Jimin, he still carried Jungkook's credit card in his pocket. In the back of his own mind, he had was his doubts on picking a ring for Jimin. As Namjoon watched over Jimin the whole day, he held back from buying the ring only because it somehow hit too close to home. Back then when they were together, Namjoon could only ask to marry Park Jimin and picking a ring for him was something he couldn't wait for. Now, he had to choose a ring for Jimin; but only so Jungkook could propose to the man. Not Namjoon in any way. The man thought on it and sighed just knowing he was going to choose a ring for the man, but not for the two to get married as hoped for years back. The truth still seemed to take an orbit and hit him where it still hurts.
Jimin was finally eating and sitting up now. Namjoon didn't have to worry much about Jimin, but as soon as Jimin got home, he had no one to talk to. Namjoon went off to be with his wife for the night, so Jimin had to bear with the silence of his own home. He walked into the house and took a good look around in pitch darkness. No Jungkook and no gentle hand holds. There was no point in coming home and staying up to the sound of nothing new.
When the sun set, Jimin crawled into Jungkook's bed; hugging Jungkook's pillow close and letting out a big sigh. “Once you reach the B248, I'll be able to talk to you…” Jimin whimpered to himself and kept his face against Jungkook's pillow. “If I inhale and think deep enough, you'll be here too… It's almost like I'm laying on your pale chest and hugging you tightly. I hate how boring things are without you… How silent and sad. Please… Please come back soon, Jungkook.” Jimin whispered to himself. As the man tried to get some sleep through this sad and aching feeling within an endless hole of despair, he heard a thud coming from his own room right across the bathroom they shared.
Followed by that, there was another thud that caused Jimin to flinch once his head rose from Jungkook's pillows he piled up against the headboard to cry in. “W-What was that..?” Jimin whispered as he got up and walked towards the bathroom in order to reach his own room. By there, he opened the door to his own room and switched on the lights so hesitantly. The room had an eerie silence to it and the bed was still a mess from this morning. Once Jimin stepped into the room, he switched the lights on and the first thing that caught his gaze was the fact that the yellow Planet JM-95 and the small sculpture of the Rocket B248-C12, were on the ground.
Once Jimin's eyes locked onto the small sculptures against the ground; he couldn't keep it in anymore. Jimin gasped in his on tears and started to cry. He thought he needed to be strong about this, but all he held in was the fact that he was still so miserable once Jungkook left. “J-Jungkook… I-I'm not strong enough…” Jimin sobbed and picked up the small yellow planet and the B248. “H-Honey… I can't keep holding it in… How do you do this? I can't keep up.” Cried the older until he finally had an idea. “I-I… I can go back to the facility and talk to you right now! I want to hear your voice, Jungkook…” Jimin thought to himself. He never expected the first day to be easy and all he wanted was to stay strong enough for him as well. Yet, there were things he just couldn't keep up like this.
Jimin held the sculpted objects close as he placed on his shoes to walk to work. He didn't care that it was dark outside or even beyond his own hours. He just couldn't seem to function without the young man that used to be his caretaker. The one who built him through his broken pieces. However, at the same hour, some astronomers were already at the facility, trying to monitor Taehyung and Jungkook's travel so they could be safe every second in space.
As astronomers gathered by the big monitor to stream the earth's radar and keep an eye on the B248, Chief Wu walked in late and stepped into his office. Not even bothering to utter a word; just watching everyone bow before him as he took a trip to his own office. As shady as that looked, no other astronomers paid attention. The elder walked to his computer sitting within his own station as he turned it on and began to access a secured site within it. A flash of numbers and symbols filled the screen as he tilted his head and pushed his glasses up in silence. After a good while of getting around a confidential site, he got in and that's where he accessed controls to a rocket. Not just any other rocket like the B400; it was the B248. He had access to it from the very start.
“I couldn't get Dr. Park on this mission,so I might as well let the show go on with the one that boy is in love with...” The elder whispered to himself and by there, he moved the B248 slightly forward and quickly disconnected before the red alarms could sound from within the facility. “Jimin was stuck up there for a good earth year, I wonder how long could I keep you both up there? Originally, I wanted Dr. Park, but Mr. Jeon and his gay, little oblivious, friend, Taehyung could be a perfect candidate. Oh just imagine how much recognition the K.S.C.U would get?! We kept Jimin up there for a good year and that gave us all the attention and much more opportunities we needed, imagine if I keep these two in space for two years? They'll thank me with fame later.” Gushed the elder to himself and disconnected completely.
Chief Wu always had intentions of sending Jimin back to space; fooling everyone into thinking Jimin had all the answers. When in reality, the Chief actually hid the controls for the B248, just to have Jimin get sent up there for another year or so. All of this was made just so the K.S.C.U would gain media recognition, opportunities and sponsorships like the first year Jimin came back. Everything was well paved for the facility and it gave everyone a name, but now since that hype died down, Chief Wu longed to start another experiment and that was to send Jimin back for a longer time.
On the other hand, he wasn't given Jimin; but he was given Jungkook and Taehyung. The elder of course, knew how much of a great importance Jungkook was to Park Jimin, so he was more entertained when it came to hiding his acts behind every planet. Breaking through a new atmosphere when it came to setting records for each and every one of them under his own demand.
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