(No alien probes, goddammit. XD Not in mah book. SICK! XD And I'm spicing things up a bit. By that I mean the hobo playing the video recorder is someone else. XP)

I was strapped to some kind of bed? What the hell happened... wait... where's Butters?! I tried to struggle out. Aliens stared at me. "Where the hell is my.... AAAAH! BUTTERS! WHERE'S BUTTERS?!" They stared at me, still. "Blonde kid?" "..." "Blue clothing?" "..." "Are you idiots?" "Moo." "Genius." "Moo." "If I found out you bastards hurt him, I will murder you..." The aliens grabbed a syringe. "The fuck are you doing?!" They shoved it down my throat. I chocked as they injected some kind of device inside of me. They took it out and left the room. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" I struggled. Randy Marsh was in the room with me. "What the fuck.... what are you doing here?! AND WHERE THE FUCK IS BUTTERS?!" "Is this your first time?" I raised in eyebrow. "No shit." "Yeah, it's a pain, but this is the kind of stuff you put up with living in a remote little mountain town." "I don't care, it's not like I would ever want to leave. I've dealt with worse... god knows what they're doing to Butters, though." "At least we don't have to deal with traffic." "IIIIII Dooooon't giiiiiiive aaaaaa fuuuuuck..... WHERE'S BUTTERS, DAMMIT!" Some kind of mechanic robot popped it's head out of my mouth. My eyes went wide. This is quite disturbing... "You can control that thing, now." "How do you know all of this?" He just stared at me. "Uh.... okay.... fine, stare at me." I teleported out of the force field "I'm surrounded by some kind of force field. Go find a way and shut it off. When you break me free I can show you how to get off the ship!" I walked out and an alien spotted me. "Aw shit." It went over and put up blue lazers. "WHERE'S BUTTERS GODDAMMIT?!" "Moo." "Oh yeah... WELL FUCK YOU!!!" There was a tape recorder. I played it. Butters voice played on it...

"Uh, hello... is this recording? If you're hearing this, I've been taken hostage on some kind of alien ship. The aliens did - unspeakable things down my throat. But I've broken free. I'm so scared and alone. I must find a way off this ship. Oh, god, they're coming! Why am I standing here making an audiolog? I don't have time for this! Leave me alone!" It stopped. "So he's here, too and has broken free... poor Butters... wait... they've taken him away! I gotta find him! Who knows what the hell they'll do!" I ran out. I teleported into the room the aliens are at and challenged me to a fight.

Three of them. They chose Refractor Shield on two of them. "Doesn't matter." I chose my Mongorian Bow and the one in the back took 191 damage, defeated. One of them chose Space Medicine and healed the other one. I chose my Mongorian Bow and shot it at them both. They both took 191. Defeated. "That was a waste of my time. T_T" Randy's face showed up on a television. "Oh hey, there you are! Oh, yeah. Yep. That's the lambda containment block. Take that elevator next to you. It SHOULD interface with your thing in your throat." The robot head stuck out and the elevator opened. "Great, you're in! You're looking for a security console. Should be one above you and another below you in the Atmospheric Processor. Yeah, I know this stuff." "Uh, okay, then." "Can't remember which one you want, though. Been awhile since I did this." I teleported down and played a recorder. Butters. "... So hungry... I've searched for food but the only thing I found are other people's annoying useless audiologs. Why did they bother when they clearly were in terrible danger? Each audio I find is more irrelevant and boring than the last. I must keep looking for a way to survive." That was the end. "Uh.... those are your audiologs, Butterscotch." I sighed. "I'm gonna have to give him food when I find him." I turned back around and teleported all the way upstairs. I played another one. Jesus Christ. Butters again.

"I've looked everywhere but I can't find anything to eat... or a clue to get me off of this ship. Just more audiologs. They're everywhere! For some reason, I listened to every minute of every one of them thinking there'd be some useful information: but it's like they're just FILLER! USELESS FILLER... THEY'RE FILLER THAT'S DRIVING ME TO MADNESS!" It stopped. I couldn't help but to burst out laughing. Poor fucking Butters. I pressed a button, because I'm fucking stupid, and a teleporting device opened up.  Randy's face showed up on another televison. "Great, you're there. See if you can't free me from that console. Probably not though, it's incredibly advanced alien technology... no way some kid could work it." I glared at him. "I guess you don't want to be freed then." I flipped off the screen and started walking away. "Okay okay! I take back what I said!" I smirked and came back "Now let's see here..." There was a blue, green, red, and yellow button. The red and green flashed. I pressed them both. Red, green, green. I pressed them. A door opened. "Uh... I'm still stuck. Better try the other console." I sighed. The shit I do for this world. I teleported down. "Okay, let's try the other console. God, I hope this works. I teleported down to the red tube.