WARNING: suicide attempt and explicit words ahead! If you're not comfortable reading this part, skip it. Don't read at your own risk. You have been warned.

"Every word's a new regret if you say it right, every word can be forgotten in the right light, oh nostalgia, I don't need you anymore..."

Broken glasses, frames, and bottle of beers were scattered on the floor. Alcohol smell filled the house.

  "ARRRGGGH! FVCK!"
Patrick threw the last piece of bottle of beer in the wall.

After Allie left him, his life became miserable. He cried for quite long time. He doesn't even know when is the last time he took a bath, change his clothes, or sleep decently.

He smash everything he helds.
He collapse on the floor and found himself crying again. He had never been devastated like this.

  "Allie comeback."
He said between the sobs.
He picked out from his pocket, Allie's ring.

  "ALLIE!!"
He screamed her name.
The pain, guilt, and sadness is killing him.

He touched the ring on his finger, he's now wearing it.
But like what Allie said, 'it's too late'. He saw from the floor their broken family picture frame.
It was taken after Allie gave birth to Declan.

  "Dec, daddy misses you so much. I sorry son ifI hurt your mom."
He whispered as he sobs, tears dropped on the picture.

  "But I love you so much, you and your mom. You are my world. I'm sorry if daddy got messed up."
His tears kept falling from his flushed eyes.

Allie's last word before she left him was 'It's too late now Trick.'
Too late to say sorry, too late to to feel the guilt, to late to forgive, too late to fix everything.

Too late now Patrick!

You ruined your own family

He deserves to be lonely. He deserves to be left. He deserves all the pain. He's the reason why his marriage ruined. It was all his fault.
He let the temptation consume him.
He doesn't deserve it to live.

  "It's me. It was all me."
He stood up and went to the bathroom.

He get his Prozac pills from the cabinet. A cheater like him deserves to die.
He opened the lid of bottle.

  "I love you Allie, Declan. I'm sorry."
He kissed the photograph and took a deep breath.

Without any hesitation, Patrick swallowed all the pills inside the bottle.
His vision went blurred, his head starts to spin, he feel dizzy, his stomach starts to grumble like he's gonna throw up.

Allie's smile and Declan's eyes is the only thing inside his head before everything went black.

If this gonna be the death of him, this is how he wanna go.

******

Due to smashing that Mrs. Avery heard from Patrick's house, she called 911 for help.
In a minute, cops and ambulance arrived. He told the cops about the smashing noice, because the door was locked, they forcely opened it. There a lot of broken things on the floor. They search around the house, then they found Patrick's body in the bathrpom, a bottle of Prozac on his left hand, while a family photograph on the right.
Mrs. Avery gasped.

  "Oh my god!"

The police called the medic, they went inside and checked Patrick.

  "He still have pulse. We need to take out all the drugs in his body."
The medic said. They put his body on the stretcher and bring him to the hospital.
As they reached the hospital, they didn't waste time, he was brought to the emergency room to take out all the drugs inside him.
There is only 50-50 chance that he will live, because the drugs spread out in his body.
His pulse was getting slower and slower, until his heartbeat stops, the cardiograph shows flat line. The doctors decided to use defibrillators to revive him.

******

Allie had bruises again on her arms. She and her asshole ex-boyfriend of hers faught again because they broke up. He gripped her hands tightly so she got bruises. She tried to cover it using a spike bracelet, but Patrick held her hands.

  "He did again, didn't he?"
Patrick said in a concern but angry tone. Allie removed her hands from his.

  "No, I just want to use this bracelet. It's cool."
She lied. But he get her hands again and removed the bracelet.

  "Jeez Trick!"
She hid her hands.

  "Let me put somw ice on it."
He said, she just shook her head.

  "No need Trick."

"Give me your hands Allie. Please."
He said softly. She had no choice but to give her hands to him. Patrick put some cube ice on it.

  "You're really masochist, are ya?"
Patrick mocked. She smirked.

  "Yeah, I think so."

  "But seriously Alli, I hate seeing you like this."
Patrick said shyly.

  "You're adorable Trick when you're shy."
Allie teased him. His cheeks went ruby red.

  "I am serious here Allie."
He said seriously. She looked down.

  "I broke up with him."
Allie said, Patrick looked at her.

  "Really?"
He said with a hint of hopeful voice. She nodded.

  "Yes. Good thing I didn't gave myself to that douche bag."
She chuckled a bit and wiped her tears.

  "You're still? Uhm, sorry I didn't--"

  "Why are you stuttering Trick? Yes I am still you know? That v flag?"
She said the laughed. Patrick blushed.

  "You know for a guy like you, blushing is very rare."
Allie joked.
From that moment,Patrick didn't waste time. He wanted to show Allie how she meant a lot to him.

******
Patrick was glared by bright light, he can't see anything, but all white.

  "Where am I?"
He said. He continued walking, when he saw a man from afar. He jog towards that man.

  "Uhm, excuse me."
Patrick tapped his shoulder, he turned around to him.

  "What is it son?"
The man smiled on him.

  "Uhm, do you know this place? Where am I?"
Patrick asked the man.

  "You don't know where you are?"
The man said, Patrick shook his head.

  "No. I will not asked you if I know where I am."
He said, the man chuckled on him.

  "You're right son."

  "Who are you?"
Patrick asked him. The man smiled again and it gives him a creepy feeling.

  "We can walk and talk."
The man suggested.

  "Okay."
Patrick agreed. So they started walking not knowing where they're going.

  "Wait. Is this heaven?"
Patrick confusedly asked.

  "What do you think?"
The man said.

  "But why am I here?"
Patrick asked himself.

  "Why? Are you thinking that you don't deserves to be here?"
The man asked him.

  "I am terrible person. I cheated on my wife, and I lied."
He confessed.

  "And?"
The man said.

  "I killed myself. I wasn't supposed to be here."
He told the man.

  "Why did you cheated on your wife? Don't you love her? And why did you ended your life?"
The man asked him as they continued walking.

  "I love Allie so much, and my son Declan. They're meant a world to me. But I let the temptation and lust consume me. I wasn't thinking right. So I decided to end my life, because I don't deserve to life. I'm a sinner."
Patrock said as tears falls from his eyes. The man rubbed his back.

  "We are all a sinners son, but the problem sometimes, we don't admit that we are."
The man told him.

  "But it's too late."
Patrick said.

  "How can you say that it's too late?"

  "I'm already dead."

  "You think so?"
The man smiled meaningfully.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Patrick, we always said that it's too late, but it's not. As long as you're breathing, there is hope and chances. Don't waste it. You love your family, and it's not to late. There are things that we cannot change, the only thing we can do is to learn from that mistakes, and it will make us a better version of ourselves. Commiting mistakes is not bad, it's just part of our learning, but be sure that you've learned from it."

The man told him. Then a blink of an eye, he disappeared in front of him.

  "Wait!"
Patrick shut his eyes because he was blinded be a bright light. Familiar voices started to ring his ears.

******

  "50 hertz. Clear!"
The doctor pumped again using the defibrillators.

  "Doc, the patient gain his pulse again."
The nurse said. They all feel relieved. They continued sucking out the drugs from his body.

A/N: I'm sorry about that part, too depressing, but I tell you this, if you feel depressed or sad, don't you ever hurt yourself, instead, seek for a help, think twice before you hurt yourself, life is too short, and it's too precious to end it. I also suffer depression and anxiety, but I seek for a help. I always think positive things (like meeting Fall Out Boy someday), and don't forget to pray to God. He will help you.

And just a piece of advice from a Psychology student(yes, I'm taking up Psychology) depression and anxiety cannot be cure by anti-depressant pills, it will only  worsen your situation, it has side effects, the best medice for this kind of illness is love from his/her own family/friends, etc, a lot of understanding and guidance. Trust me, it will help you, just like what it did to me. :))

Stay Classy!! ;)
-AetherMae(Hurley)

Ps. That heaven scene, I get that idea from the music video of Save Rock and Roll. The man that Patrick was talking too is Elton John. Haha!