Time still hadn't gone back to normal.

Tick.

Tock.

It was like it was trying to exaggerate each moment of pain.

Lin didn't know it was possible for your heart to hurt this much.

He was lying on his bed.

His mind empty.

And over flowing.

All at once.

How did he even get here?

Tick.

Tick.

He remembered you.

Dying in his arms.

Tick.

Tock.

Others died too.

Tick. 

Tock.

But he was still alive.

He didn't want to be.

He only wanted you.

Tick.

Tock.

But he couldn't seem to die.

Tick.

Tock.

3 hours ago:

Someone called the police.

Tick.

Tock.

They came, sirens blaring.

They shot the man in the dark blue jacket.

The man died.

They didn't shoot Lin.

Tick.

Tock.

They should've.

It was his fault you were dead.

Tick. 

Tock.

If you had gone to school.

You would've been safe.

Tick.

Tock.

The doctors came.

In their white trucks.

Ambulances.

"Save y/n." Lin heard a voice scream.

The voice, he realized, was his own.

They said there was nothing they could do.

You had already died.

"No!" Lin yelled.

No.

No. 

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No...

They told Lin to get in the ambulance.

He wouldn't let go of you.

They had to pry his fingers of yours.

They but her in a black bag.

Took you away.

You were gone.

"You're in shock." They told him.

They covered him in blankets.

Tick.

Tock.

But time still hadn't gone back to normal.

He felt like mud was seeping through his brain.

Tick.

Tock.

He saw your parents.

They screamed too.

Tick. 

Tock.

Was time like this for them too?

They probably hated him.

They should.

He hated himself.

Tick.

Tock.

"It's not your fault." The doctors told him.

Tick.

Tock.

His parents came.

Tick.

Tock.

They were crying too.

They hugged your parents.

Then him.

Tick.

Tock.

He didn't react.

Just stared.

At the white wall.

The doctors talked to his parents.

They told him to see a therapist.

For "the grief."

Tick.

Tock.

But this was more than grief.

And for once in his life.

He couldn't push away the unimaginable.

Because it followed him.

Everywhere.

Tick.

Tock.

His parents drove him home.

They told him to change into more comfortable clothes.

But he needed to feel close to her.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ten dollar bill.

He stared at it for a long time.

Thinking.

Who was this man?

Had he felt pain like this?

Lin shook his head.

"Nobody has." He whispered.

He went up to his bedroom.

And now he was here.

Was he?

Maybe he wasn't anywhere.

After all, how could you be?

Without your everything.

So he was nothing.

He was nowhere.

Tick.

Tock.

Your funeral is on Saturday.

Tick.

Tock.

He's supposed to write a speech.

But for who?

Not for you.

You're gone.

Tick.

Tock.

But he writes anyway.

He writes.

Writes.

Writes.

Writes.

Writes.

Writes.

He doesn't know what he wrote, though.

Only the last eight words.

You are my everything.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

You will always be.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Tick.

Tock.

The days pass.

Slowly.

He doesn't go to school.

Tick.

Tock.

He doesn't sleep.

His parents make him eat.

But he can only taste cotton candy.

Tick. 

Tock.

Saturday,  December 30th, 1996:

Her funeral is today.

He dresses up in black.

This tux looked like the one he was planning on wearing next week.

Her birthday.

He had it all planned.

Not anymore.

Tick.

Tock.

It looked like the one he would wear one day.

When they got married.

Tick.

Tock.

Not anymore.

The cars are black too.

So is the mood

Even Phillip knows something is wrong.

He's only four.

He just wants his big sister.

He wanted her to swing him up into his arms.

Like she did everyday before school.

But she won't.

Not anymore.

She's gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Phillip doesn't know why.

Tick.

Tock.

Lin stands up.

He says his speech.

Tick.

Tock.

He sits back down.

Only sobs break the silence.

Something clicks in his brain.

And then he is crying too.

Sobbing, Breaking, Falling apart, and suddenly  time is speeding up again.

Heunderstoodthewordshehadsaidnowtheyallfloodedhisbrainhecouldntbreatheohmygodtherealityofeverythingwascrashingontohimwithnowarningandeverypartofhimwasscreamingticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockitcktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock.

And that's when Lin-Manuel Miranda realized he could not throw away his shot.

A/N: I know these past couple chapters have been crappy. I'm sorry, i promise they'll get better. Thanks for reading though! Comment ,vote and follow❤ Ily all

ok so I know i said i would update every monday and friday but like im not good enough at life to do that so ima update every sunday instead, more often if i can. sorryyyyyy