The drive to the new apartment was kind of nerve wracking. I haven't been back in the city for two years but it seems not much has changed, the city is still gorgeous, busy and a bit overwhelming. It looks exactly how it did when we left but at the same time it doesn't.

As Namjoon drove, his face remained neutral. I could never tell what was going on in his head during times like these. Times when I myself are anxious. Ignoring the anxiety, I turn the radio up, turning to look up at the night sky.

Arriving at the apartment, I stir myself to the bedroom I had claimed mine when Namjoon had first showed me the place via online tour. Jumping on the bed almost instantly, I disregard the idea of unpacking right now and slowly start to drift to sleep.

Not even two second later, there's knock at my door.

"Who is it and what do you want?" I mumbled not moving an inch.

"Who else would it be?" My brother said from the other side of the door. "Come on out, let's talk."

With a grunt I say, "Alright. Give me a second."

Slowly rolling out of bed, I dramatically fall onto the floor, my body exhausted from the flight. Sooner or later I got up and changed into pajamas because as soon as the talk was over I would crawl back into bed and knock out for the next 2-4 business days.

Walking out of my room, I see Namjoon sitting on the couch.

"What did you want to talk about, Joon?"

"Listen. I know us moving back was kind of sudden." He started. "The sudden change must be making you anxious."

"Anxious? I'm not anxious."

I'm a liar.

"Y/N. You're a pretty readable person. It's written all over your face." He sighed. "I just know you never put how you feel first and think of others."

He wasn't wrong unfortunately.

"I just want to know if YOU are okay. That YOU wanted to come back too and not just me."

"Joon. I never wanted to leave in the first place... but I know that after the disbandment...." My words trail off his face visibly tensing. Putting a hand on my brother's shoulder, I give him a reassuring smile. "I'm happy to be back. Really. We can't keep running forever, Joon. The first step was coming back and look where we are now."

He returned my smile with one of him own, his dimples showing for just a moment. "You're right. When did you start to sound so wise?" He joked. "Oh wait. I'm your brother."

Rolling my eyes, I teasingly shove him. "Sure. That's the reason."

"Are you hungry?" He asked, standing up and walking to our small kitchen.

"If you're offering to cook, I politely decline."

"Hey! Last time I cooked it was pretty good."

"Last time you cooked, everything was burnt and our smoke alarms went off." I said remembering the taste of the burnt pancakes Namjoon insisted on not wasting.

"Anyways." He moved on. "We haven't gone shopping but we do have some instant ramen I snagged before we boarded."

He ruffled through his backpack and pulled out two containers of ramen.

"As long as I get to cook my own."

"If you insist." He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the night had went well. My brother and I laughed over little nothings as we ate our ramen and simply enjoying each others company.

But I couldn't help but feel some sort of emptiness. And it wasn't like the house was empty. Thankfully, our parents helped furnish the place while we were gone so it wasn't like the apartment itself was empty. There was this part of my heart that felt like an empty space.

Even though I truly was happy to be back, there was this sort of loneliness.

My mind soon began to wander before Namjoon called out to me.

"Y/N?"

"Huh? Yes?" I said immediately snapping myself back into reality.

"What's wrong? You're more spacey than usual." He asked, finishing the dishes before drying his hands.

"Don't you feel... like something is missing?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like doesn't it feel... off?"

He tilted his head to the side, confused.

Shaking my head, I gave him a smile. "Never
mind. I think I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Getting up, I walk over to him and give him a hug. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night. I'll see you in the morning."

"Oh. Okay, goodnight then." He said, clearly confused but brushed it off to plop down onto the couch.

Closing the door of my room behind me, I sigh before belly flopping right back into my bed. Hurrying my head in the pillow, I begin to drift off. Letting sleep take over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night might have been the best nights sleep I have had in a very long time. Besides feeling completely rested, my mind decided to entertain me in my sleep. A dream that was filled with fun, laughter and just utter joy.

The dream was a fond memory I had of when BTS had received their first ever award. The utter joy that could be felt by anyone who was there to experience that momentous occasion.

If only we could go back. To the time where we were all happy. All together.

But as soon as I woke up, that joy disappeared as quickly as it had come. I was left laying there staring at my ceiling, completely empty.

Which is weird. What is missing? I'm back home. It's not like I'm alone either. Namjoon is here with me. But... Why do I feel so empty and alone?

Taking a deep breath, I sit up and run a hand over my face.

"Maybe I just need some fresh Seoul air."

Gently smacking my cheeks, I nod to myself, hopping out of bed to go brush my teeth and do some simple skincare. Throwing on my favorite oversized hoodie, some yoga pants and brushing my hair up into a ponytail, I walk out of my room.

Walking into the living room, there's no sign of Namjoon. I wonder where he ran off to.

"Okay, so first we grab ourself some coffee, head over to the grocery store, and be back home in time to start prepping dinner." I said aloud to myself.

Grabbing my purse, keys and phone, I slip into my sneakers and head out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking down at my phone as I navigated down the streets, looking for this one cafe I had seen multiple times across the internet.

My head swiveled from left to right. But I couldn't find it?

Am I blind? Or...

Deciding to double check that the map had the correct address, I can confirm, that this is where it is said to be.

Where is this stinking cafe? I just want a coffee.

Annoyance and lack of caffeine were making me more frustrated than necessary. Shoving my phone into my pocket, I take yet another look around and see a sign with a silly cartoon cup of coffee on it with an arrow.

"Is that..."

Walking into the direction the sign had pointed, I am lead to a cute little building. Two tables were settled outside the entrance, fairy lights decorating the door frame, and the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans flooded my senses.

Bingo.

Waking in and approaching the counter, I look down at the menu that was displayed in front of the register.

There were.. so many choices. How in the world was someone as indecisive as myself supposed to decide?

"How can I help you?" The person behind the register chimed, their voice a little more cheery than I was used to.

"Can I just have an iced strawberry matcha with two shot of espresso, please?" I quickly decided, my eyes moving from the menu to the cashier, immediately widening.

Pressing a couple buttons on the screen in front of them before starting to speak. "Of course. Anything el-"

Their words caught on their tongue as soon as their eyes met my own, their own eyes widening as well.

"What the..." I barely managed to say.

"Y/N?" The cashier asked.

"Jin?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count : 1389