Well, the world is a cruel mistress sometimes...

"Oh Laurence! How long has it been since I've seen your stupid, STUPID face?! It's been so long since I've last seen you!" Her trick for today is forcing me to know of the Chicken Shaman's existence and plausible immortality.

"Cadenza? Cadenza, wait!"

"NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!" Cadenza has jumped the ship, leaving the three of us to deal with... All of this.

"Cadenza is... Well, WHATEVER! Laurence, my best friend! It has been TOO LONG since I've seen your stupid face! Let's see, how long has it been? Probably 1... 2... 3... or chicken..." He mutters off, extremely close to Laurence to an uncomfortable degree. It almost hurts to bare witness to, hurts to once again be in the presence of the Chicken Shaman and his herd of chicken people.

"Uhh... I'm pretty sure 4 comes after 3-" Aphmau interrupts, insensitively. Even I know not to correct the counting of the chicken people. Time and numbers work differently for them than us, it's just common sense.

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY PEOPLE'S COUNTING SYSTEM, YOU AWFUL, UN-" His attention turns away from Laurence, seething agitation going to Aphmau as he makes his way into her personal bubble. I shield my face from view, moving away from my spot beside her and hiding behind Laurence instead. Aph's on her own, even if things are a little tense with me and Laurence right now, "You! You're that TERRIBLE Chicken House Builder!"

"Ughhhhhh, I was hoping to Irene you forgot about that..." How can anyone just forget that? It was one of the highlights of last season?

"How could I FORGET? You are the one who saved my peoples after all," The Chicken Shaman continues in a matter-of-fact tone. The feathers of his attire flow in the wind as he speaks, somehow majestic. Or, it would be if I weren't so distracted by his chickens. They were circling me like I was some sacrifice for their Chicken Divine Warrior and I was more than concerned for my well-being.

"W-WAT?!"

"You see, Terrible Chicken House Builder, it turns out your ugly, gross, garishly designed and ugly, horrible houses-" He was really getting on her ass about how much he hated those houses, "-were miraculously (insert joke about Miraculous Ladybug for ✨reference to the original version of the chapter✨ 😋 cause content) and unexpectedly able to save some of my peoples from that onslaught of guards who attacked this area 15 years ago. YOU are a HERO, Terrible Chicken House Builder! We have even planned on building a STATUE for you; To Terrible Chicken House Builder!"

"Uhhh"

"It probably will be made of... feathers!" He's proud as he walks around us, head high and shoulders aligned. The chickens have dispersed from their circle and are now in a crowd off to the side, appearing like they're talking amongst themselves and planning the demise of something.

"You... You've gotta be kidding me..." Aphmau's exasperation is evident not just from the tone of her voice, but from the way her body slumps and her posture worsens. She perks up as a thought very obviously comes to mind, her body bouncing back to her original confusion, "Then... Then-Then WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME TERRIBLE CHICKEN HOUSE BUILDER?! SHOULDN'T I BE LIKE... TH-The Chicken Savior?! O-OR SOMETHING more dignified and not TERRIBLE?!"

"...Your name isn't Terrible Chicken House Builder?" And that's when I start tuning them out. Their conversation is reminiscent of the last time we saw the Chicken Shaman, which was 15 years ago for him, but only a little less than a month ago for us. It's weird to think about, that we've been gone for so long when it didn't even feel like that to us.

Some people have aged and matured, like Dante. He was only a recently graduated guard from the academy, young and with a sparkle in his eyes that only young adults ready to make their own mark on their own, and now he's Head Guard of Phoenix Drop, married with a beautiful cat girl for a wife and their blue-haired cat girl daughter. He's older, has eye bags and crow's feet littering his face, and his voice is deeper and raspier than I could ever hope to hear so soon.

Then there are those who haven't changed at all, like the Chicken Shaman. He's still exactly the same as I last saw him, beard scraggly and shaggy with messy brown hair. His eyes hold that same amount of insanity as before, simultaneously delusion and serious as all hell. The only difference between now and then is that he went from wearing a chicken mask and an outfit covered in feathers to wearing a full on chicken suit made of actual chicken feathers. He hasn't aged a bit these last 15 years and seems to transcend time and space.

It brings me back to someone who's been on my mind all this time, someone I've still yet to see. How is Vylad these last few years? Has he aged? Changed completely from the man I fell in love with and traveled with for so long?

I doubt it, but it's also been 15 years. The aging of Shadow Knights is complicated, really. There are those like Zenix, who died young and aged extremely slowly. The last time I saw him, he still looked like a teenager or a young adult with a baby face. It wasn't completely out of place, since he was still a young adult, but he had only recently started to appear to age beyond when he died as a teenager.

Vylad was still pretty young after he was stabbed in the back, both literally and metaphorically, and he hadn't aged much those few years we were on the run. Of course, that was only a few years, and even during our time apart while I was traveling with Aphmau, he didn't age an extremely noticeable amount. So, the plausibility of him aging as much as many of the residents of Phoenix Drop wasn't too high. Hell, even Cadenza aged, but not nearly as noticeably as many of the others I'd seen so far. Oh my god...

WHAT IF CADENZA IS ACTUALLY IMMORTAL?
Will definitely look into that theory later...

"I... Think I need to find a cliff to jump from now..." I'm shaken back to reality at that statement, a bewildered look probably on my face as I quickly glance to Aphmau. She's totally done with the whole situation and The Chicken Shaman is consulting his head chicken on why it didn't tell him that Aphmau's name wasn't Terrible Chicken House Builder...

"WELL, it was great to see you anyway-"

"DON'T YOU EVEN WANNA KNOW MY NAME?!"

"Uh... Not really..." He turns away from her to Laurance and I's direction, making it more than obvious he doesn't want to continue that conversation. At his turning, I ensure to set myself behind Laurance as a meat shield, "OH LAURANCE! GREAT TO SEE YOUR STUPID FACE!"

"It's great to see you too, Castor. Say... Why are you in the ruins of Old Meteli?" Laurance steps in to move the plot further along, much to my relief and enjoyment.

"AHHHH funny you should ask that Laurance. Well, you see, I decided to come back to this village because once it was in ruins, I planned to take it back as the Chicken Village and then become LORD OF IT, which I am!" Castor is excited as he explains, some of the feathers on his costume falling off as he jumps and walks around while talking of his plan, "Didn't you see this outfit my people made for me? With their molded feathers? It is quite comfy if I do say so myself"

There's a silence that follows that whole... exposition dump. It explains his new attire, at least, but now he looks even more like a creepy dude dressed in a chicken suit, except now the chicken suit is an actual chicken suit made of actual chicken feathers...

"Heh, it looks... greeeeeat..." Laurance lies through his teeth with his charming grin, leading Aphmau and me to deadpan at his 'compliment'.

"Laurance, don't humor himmm"

"YES INDEED. Now, you are free to stay in my village. As you can see, we have some AMAZING landmarks," The Chicken Shaman states as he begins to lead us around the village,

He stops in front of a very much abandoned and broken down building "Here, we have a grocery store. We are still working on getting groceries, so it's more of a store store... And ANYWAY... Over here," he begins leading us to another abandoned building only to stop at the sight at the top of a stair pathway, "There is a- Woah! What the- UP THERE! There are two horses! THE HORSE SHAMAN IS ATTACKING! WE MUST TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY!"

Looking up to where he's very aggressively and nervously pointing, there are two horses there, but they're our horses that we brought for the journey. The three of us turn to give the Chicken Shaman a look of utter confusion, but he's deathly serious.

"What...?"

"Yeah, no, he's lost it. Can we leave now?" I ask the other two in a whisper, glancing between the horses and The Chicken Shaman in worry he may actually attack our travel companions.

"No, no, no. Those-Those horses belong to us. T-They actually are our horses, they don't belong to anybody else," Aphmau shakes her head as she speaks, to get it through that there is no Horse Shaman coming to attack.

"Oh. Oh, good!" And somehow, it's enough for Castor, "I wAs worried for a moment... You see, me and my people are at war with the Horse Shaman. He and his STUPID people moved into my old place. And he is the STUPIDEST and UGLIEST Shaman ever. Such a stupid and ugly shaman, taking my old place and taking it for the horses-"

His ramblings only caused me to realize that there's another whack job out there like the Chicken Shaman and he calls himself... the Horse Shaman. Yeah, I need to go lay down. No more mission, no more Meteli. I just want to lay down...

"So... you've been fighting with this Horse Shaman?" Laurance asks to hopefully get the Chicken Shaman out of his mumbling. And somehow, it's enough?

"What? No! We just go over there and throw eggs at his house every so often," He explains rather nonchalantly, a big contrast between his worked-up state.

"Wait, so... Wait, so, how are you at war with him exactly?" Aphmau asks, beginning to crack a grin and voice wavering.

"WE JUST ARE! AND- Wait, what are you doing here in my Chicken Village?"

"Ummm"

"We definitely didn't plan on finding you, that's for damn sure..."

"We're setting out to reform the Phoenix Alliance," Laurance answers honestly, somehow still able to play into all of... this.

"Laurance... Oh Irene-"

"OH THAT BIG BIRD! The one which BURSTS into flames when dying and then rises from said FLAME DEATH! ...Right? Like a chicken?"

Oh my sweet, sweet Irene...

"...Yes! Yes, yes... yes..."

"OH, I see... Then I would like to join this alliance," Castor proclaims rather proudly, fist resting on his chest and his head nodding like he really gets a full say. It causes me to outwardly grimace.

"Uh, w-wha- WAIT-"

"Uh..."

"A-Are you sure that you're... uh... people... uh... are okay with that decision? I think you should council them..." Nice to know Aphmau was also thinking the food route when he suggested joining our alliance. There's not much else they can really provide for us.

Holy shit, that's kind of dark... WAIT, DOES HE EAT HIS OWN PEOPLES?!

"Ohhh uhhh... lWhat do you guys think? Timberly?" He turns to his group of chicken people and they all begin clucking. It's hard to tell if he actually understands them or not, given he's mostly just nodding his head at their clucking and muttering with them.

"Aphmau, I don't think he's actually talking to them..."

"I don't either, (Y/n), but we just have to let it play out..."

After a while of that, a very uncomfortably long while of it, he reconvenes with us, "They say yes"

"Oh no..."

"This feels like sideways murder..." I mumble, turning away from... all that... to block it out just a little.

"Ohhhhh.... Oh no... ohhh... L-Laurance, (Y-Y/n)... May I have a word in private?" Aphmau nervously calls, tugging me and Laurence until the three of us are in a huddle, "If you don't mind, we're going to pardon ourselves for just one moment, i-if you don't mind. J-Just wait right here, mister Chicken Shaman..."

"Oh, that's fine. I have to discipline my chickens anyway," He huddles in with his chickens as we convene closer, the whole thing managing to weird me out just a little more... somehow.

Aphmau nervously laughs as we shuffle our huddle to behind some bushes, "Hahaha, yes, this is a good spot away from him..."

"...Well?" Laurance asks expectantly, moving aside to make more room inside of the bush.

"Laurance, why did you say anything about the alliance?"

"Yeah, actually. I thought the plan was let him ramble about whatever and ease the fuck out of there"

"Sorry, it just slipped!" He apologizes bashfully, but he's still struggling to hold back a laugh, "... I um... I think we should let him join. I'm sorry, but look at him..." He aggressively gestures towards Castor, who is having a full on conversation with his chickens still, clucking along with them now, "He needs help... He's all smelly-" which isn't wrong, but he's always been smelly, "-and... Honestly, I just feel bad that he's living in the ruins of Meteli and his house has been taken from him."

"Laurance does have a point. Dude needs a bath. He smells like a chicken coop, but in the worst way. Plus, Aphmau, he wants us to eat his people. I see no issue here!"

"(Y/n)!" Laurance calls, giving my shoulder a light shove, leading to me shrugging.

"Say it for what it is"

Aphmau nervously laughs after that, trying to get her thoughts together before groaning, "... You're right. We did set out to help people and... I guess we set out to help, even if they're people who are in... terrible conditions, yes... sooo... yeah..."

Her statement trails after her roundabout way of admitting that it's only right to let him in. Even if she didn't eventually cave, I wouldn't have seen a problem. It's the frickin' Chicken Shaman and he isn't really... Much of a team player?

"Well, think of it this way... he's a Shaman. He has helped us in the past. He could be useful," Laurance reassures.

Aphmau takes a deep breath, nodding her head in a bit of a strained manner, "You know what, Laurance? You're right! You're absolutely right! And... if he's not useful... We'll just- if we ever suffer famine- We'll just eat his chickens, right?"

"Exaaactly! You get it!" I give Aphmau a proud smile, ignoring the look Laurance gives us both. He sighs once he realizes we're too far into the idea.

"We can do that. We can just eat the chicken..."

Laurance stares at us, a deadpan look on his face and his eyes very obviously dead after the resolution of this conversation. He sighs again, rubbing the area between eyes on the bridge of his nose before glancing up to us again, "Deal."

I whip out my sword from its hilt, happily make a slicing motion with it in their direction, causing Aphmau to laugh. Laurance joins in too, his a lot funnier due to the jagged shape of the sharp edge.

In the end, Aphmau accepted Castor and his... Chicken Village into the Phoenix Alliance. She made explicit that he had to address her by her name, but gave up on that really quickly after his first attempt at trying to pronounce it.

I've never been happier to quickly get out of a situation before in my life. Literally, the whole being trapped in the Irene Dimension with my abusive ex-fiancé is like a walk in the ballpark compared to... all this. I need a nap and it's not even noon yet...

As we prepare to load up and head out, the Chicken Shaman warns us of the Horse Shaman and to be careful because he's possibly out and about. I'm more concerned with having to deal with another one of these situations without the proper mental preparation ahead of time, but the world is a very cruel mistress.

"Goodbye Aphdemafmeow! And you too STUPID Laurance. Stupid Laurance- OH AND SPOOFY SPOOF JR., YOU TOO. I almost missed saying something to you and your spoofiness," Dammit, I was so close to not hearing that horrible nickname. Sad part is that I know he knows my name, he just refuses to call me it, for some odd reason.

"Ah, yesss. Spoofy spoofy Jr., it's been soooo long, but here you are," The weird guy dressed up in a chicken suit keeps getting weirder and weirder, "You really need to get some new friends. Ones that can build chicken houses, unlike Terrible Chicken House Builder, here."

"You know him, (Y/n)?" Aphmau leans in close to ask, giving him another once over. I'm quick to shake my head, no instance of ever meeting this very strange man coming to my remembrance at all.

"I've met some strange people, but he definitely wasn't any of them"

He says that's what I've alway been, named after the original Spoofy Spoof, whoever the hell that is.

It only makes me want to leave sooner.

It's a short walk before we find the others, luckily. They're all huddled together under a tree, chilled out and not feeling any queasy frustration from dealing with a man in a chicken suit made of actual chicken feathers.

"Cadenza!" Aphmau calls as we come up to the group, stepping in front of us to talk to her. Cadenza turns in our direction, an apologetic look on her face, "How could you leave us like that?"

While Aphmau and Cadenza talk about that, Laurance pulls me over to the side. His eyes are sincere before he even starts talking and I immediately know what it's about, "Laurance..."

"It wasn't right of me to accuse you of causing all that stuff with Aphmau. You were obviously just as concerned and confused as the rest of us and even went out of your way to make sure she would be okay," He starts, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. I avert my eyes a few times out of slight discomfort, seeing as this wasn't fully expected, "I'm sorry, things have just been-

"Yeah, we talked about this before and I told you that I'm on your side, even when you're confused and I'm not fully telling you things," I reassure him, giving his arm a light pat, "And you're right, things would be easier if I just told you guys. It was wrong of me to hide information about Zane and my relationship with him, but I assure you that I'll tell you guys everything once I feel comfortable and that the time is right. I promise."

I muster the most reassuring and fond smile I again, especially after being socially drained from the social situations I've already experienced. It's enough for Laurance to reciprocate it and that's enough for me.

Unfortunately, adventurers never rest and that's something adventure never lets me forget, especially while traveling around with Aphmau for so long. So after Laurance and I made out and after Aphmau and Cadenza had their little talk, Aphmau decided we needed to get some horses. A talk with Katelyn leads us to going to find the Horse Shaman. And by us, I mean our usual trio of Aphmau, Laurance, and me.

Aphmau leads the way to Castor's old place and we pass a very angry looking pig on the way. We come across a girl not too soon after, with platinum blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a bright red bow holding her hair back.

"Is that the Horse Shaman? Uh..." As we get closer, a man steps out of the small cottage set up on their little settlement. He has dark brown hair, a familiar set a green eyes, and a smile so friendly that anyone would feel welcomed just seeing it, "B-Brendan?!"

And there he stood, in all his farmer glory. And his shirt was unbuttoned, showing off all his upper body aside from his arms, shoulders, and back. Giving off real himbo energy.

"LORD APHMAU! MY GOSH! IS IT REALLY YOU?! LOOK AT YOU, YOU HAVEN'T AGED A DAY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"BRENDAN?! ARE YOU THE HORSE SHAMAN?!" Yeah, no, I'm unable to keep a straight face after that one. I double over with laughter, Laurance patting my back while I struggle to breathe from my laughter.

"Horse Shaman...? Oh, you mean... No, no, no! I'm not the Horse Shaman," Brendan reassures, sweating a little as he thinks about it, "But I am a horse breeder now. I live here with my wife."

"WIFE?!" Aphmau and I both exclaim, leading to my laughter being more hysterical. I find myself somewhat rolling on the ground in laughter, struggling to collect my self as he continues to talk.

"Yes! She's that lovely lady over there, her name is Issa. She's really shy, but she's amazing," He happily talks about her, the most love struck daze in his eyes. He glances back to her as he talks, a soft flush coming to his cheeks. It's enough to make me stop laughing, the sight so adorable that I had to calm down, "You should go meet her! Oh, but be careful what you say around her... She's very sensitive about everything since she's pregnant."

All initial rolling on the ground stops at that, my body practically forgetting how to function. I would shriek if it didn't give me extra unwanted attention. Hell, even Laurance somewhat freezes at that news, all of our attention moving to stare at Brendan and then his wife. Our eyes flick between the two, widening in shock little by little each time before finally settling to stare at Brendan.

"Holy shit..." At least that explains the dad bod. Himbo dad Brendan ftw I guess?

Brendan begins to explain why he's no longer in Phoenix Drop and why he's now known as the "Horse Shaman", which is actually pretty respectable in its own right. I, too, would use the craziness of the Chicken Shaman to my advantage if it meant being protected from bandits.

Brendan is very relieved to hear about us trying to build and fortify the wall of Phoenix Drop, even saying he'll consider moving back. For now, however, his concern is his horses and his very real and very pregnant wife. Oh my fucking Irene, he's really got a wife and a kid on the way (;ﾞ°'ω°'). BRENDAN FUCKS?!

He eventually excuses himself to go hunt Issa some food, leaving us to pick out horses from his "Training Horses" stable. He whips out a meat cleaver, running off into the woods and swinging it around like a mad lad. Peak Brendan, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to use a meat cleaver to hunt. Either way, it's not my business.

"Well then... That was a pleasant surprise!" Laurance states when Aphmau turns to us. He's obviously just as mentally taxed and exhausted as I am, and it's still barely noon, "Now go pick out a few horses. We'll be sure to bring them back"

"Yeah, I'd hate to be at the end of his hunting weapon..." I tease, glancing back to where Brendan exited into the forest from. He's long gone, but I can hear something along the lines of barbaric screams coming from that way... Hope he's having fun.

Aphmau makes acquaintance with Issa while I start looking at some of the training horses. Her accent is very thick and very country, which fits pretty well with Brendan's type. Guess it's not completely left field.

Oh my fucking Irene... Brendan really fucking fucks...

Eventually, we get a couple picked out and saddled up, bringing them back to the group. Everyone gets loaded up on a horse and we head out to New Meteli.

We've got a bit of a journey ahead of us...

A/n: Updating and releasing chapters in a short period of time? What year is it, 2017?

I was rereading the original chapter about the Chicken Shaman before rewriting it and a young MCI really thought 1000 words was "getting too long"? Smh wait till she realizes that's barely scratching the surface.
Anyway, a flashback chapter will becoming soon to explain why Castor calls the reader Spoofy Spoof Jr, since it was never made explicit in the original version. Anyway, catch ya later

MCI Out, Peace 😋