Zander

I stood at the bathroom counter watching as the scalding water ran over my hands. My palms turn an ever darkening shade of red while I fidget with the smooth ring. The sound of her key turning in the front door lock pulls me from my thoughts. "Zan, are you almost ready?" I hear her call out as I quickly remove the ring, securing it in the wooden box tucked away in the drawer.

"I'll be out in two seconds," I shout as I turn off the water and run my still dripping fingers through my hair. I seriously need to decide if I want to stick with the topknot, I think to myself as I tuck back the few loose strands.

As I step into my living room, I am greeted by Hannah and her wife Alex, the two people consistently here for me. My thoughts immediately second guess my outfit choice as I see how dressed up they got, making my dark jeans, gray t-shirt, and open front flannel look out of place. I shake off the idea, knowing I wouldn't change even if we were going somewhere nicer than our usual hangout.

"Pre-game Shots?" Alex asks, pulling my attention to her. She is holding up a bottle of my favorite tequila. Damn, these girls really have learned how to keep me from backing out of a night out. I grab the bottle and walk towards the bar cart in my dining room.

"Remind me again where we are going tonight," I ask as I pour three shots. I know where we are going, to the same place we have gone nearly every weekend, but I ask to avoid any silence, my mind can't handle the silence right now.

"TJ's place, he is throwing a graduation party for his dog," Hannah says as Alex stifles a laugh.

"Apparently a 4 week obedience school completion is as good of a reason to party as any," Alex adds as we clink our glasses together.

As Alex and Hannah tuck their bags into my guest room, I down another two shots from the bottle before filling the slim black flask and tucking it into my pocket. Tonight is going to require a lot more than just the beer TJ stocks if I'm gonna last more than an hour or two. I slide on my all black vans and grab my keys, removing my single door key before returning my car keys to their hook.

TJ's house is the regular party spot these days, a fact I love as it is just around the corner from my place. This has become a regular ritual for us, Alex and Hanna bring me something harder than any of TJ's friends like to drink, turn a blind eye on the fact the bottle always ends up empty, and walk to TJ's. I stay a few hours at best before stumbling home, followed by them a few hours later. It works for us.

"You are staying later this time right," Hannah presses as we make our way to the sidewalk. I clench my fist as I look at her. She made me promise to stay until midnight tonight, thinking I shouldn't be alone until the date changes. She thinks that I will magically be better once the anniversary passes. "You promised." She adds firmly.

I sigh, slightly more exasperated than intended, "Yeah, I will stay, but I won't promise to actually talk to people," I add before she expresses too much excitement.

She smiles at Alex. "Deal," she says, not pressing my boundaries. I can't help but get the feeling that the two of them have something up their sleeves for tonight. I shake off the idea they could be up to something and let my mind wander as we turn the corner towards TJ's.

The air is shockingly cold for late May, a slight breeze pulling the temperature down despite the heat of the day. The sound of soft music slowly grows louder as we walk up the front steps. My senses are assaulted with the smell of artificial pine as the door opens. The Cardboard Swords plays over the speakers indicating which playlist TJ chose for the night. I reach for my back pocket, feeling the smooth surface of my flask, ready to drink enough to drown out the thoughts tonight's music are bound to bring up. Four hours, that is all I have to get through, only four hours till midnight, I think as I glance down at my watch.

I search the room, recognizing most of the faces, but remembering next to no names. We had been coming here every few weekends for nearly a year and half, yet I have barely spoken to half the people here. As I make my way to the kitchen to get a beer, the sweet smell of smoky birchwood drifts to my nostrils and my footsteps falter. I glance around, searching for the source of the smell that is a stark contrast to the candles TJ has scattered throughout his house. Resuming my walk to the kitchen, my thoughts more distracted than ever, I try to focus on the task at hand, grab a beer and get outside, away from the music, from the crowd, and most importantly, away from prying eyes so I can pull out my flask.

Turning the corner towards the kitchen, I run into what feels like a brick wall. "Fuck," I say under my breather, realizing I ran directly into someone who was making their way into the livingroom. "Um sorry, I didn't see you..." I am cut off by his large hand resting gently on my arm.

"No, don't apologize, I should have been more aware of my surroundings." he says softly, slowly removing his hand from my arm. "I'm Jake, TJ's cousin," he adds before reaching out for a handshake.

"Zander," I say, grasping his hand, lingering longer than I should have as the sweet smell of a birchwood campfire radiates from Jake.

"Zander, you have to come meet Alex's new coworker," Hannah says as she quickly pulls past the specimen holding eye contact with me. I shake the unfamiliar feeling from my head as Alex shoves a beer in my hand.

"Zander this is Sasha, Sasha this is Hannah's best friend, Zander." Before I can process what is happening, Sasha pulls me into a hug.

"OMG, it is so good to meet you, Alex has had nothing but good things to say!" Sasha says as she releases me. Apparently she didn't get the memo about not touching me, hugs are not something I enjoy these days.

"It's good to meet you as well," I say, trying to keep my voice as genuine as possible, my eyes bore into a Hannah, a look she is oh too familiar with. So much for them not being up to something. Hannah has been getting increasingly worried about my lack of dating life over the last year. She has tried to get me to talk to people here every weekend, but this was a new low. I guess I should have expected something like this eventually. Sasha starts going into some story about work. I catch enough of the conversation to know she is talking about how Alex took her in. I pull out my phone and send Hannah a text. I know what you are trying to do. I'm still not ready, or interested. I hit send just as Alex suggests we head to the living room so that we don't block the beer. "I'll meet you guys out there," I say as I start to chug the beer in my hand. I watch them make their way back towards the front of the house as I finish my drink, grabbing a fresh one before I follow. So much for escaping to the backyard right now.

As I walk out into the living room, I find them sitting on the fireplace hearth. I am glad to see they haven't joined one of the other groups in the room. I take my seat between Hannah and Sasha, my mind wandering, taking in the people present. Every weekend here is the same, low emotional music playing while everyone sips on beer and engages in fake intellectual conversation. In a few hours time, everyone here will have enough alcohol in their systems that they will slowly retreat to the garage, swapping intellect for debauchery, conversations for make-out sessions, and casual beers for frat party drinking games. I groan internally at the idea of having to stay for that tonight. I consider going home early as usual, but I can't do that, not to Hannah, I promised her I would stay tonight. And while I may not be interested in her obvious attempt at a setup, I am not going to back out of my word.

Jake

It's 7:30. I've only been here for an hour and I've already been introduced to too many overdressed 'intellectuals' that my cousin calls his friends. I pull the bottle out of my bag and take two large swings. "Fuck TJ, this many fake people and only beer on hand to melt their words from my mind," I say to myself as the place the tequila bottle back in my suitcase, thankful to his sister for warning me about his no liquor in his home rule. I make a mental note to come up with a few excuses for tonight that will allow for me to sneak back in here for a few more drinks.

My flight landed less than two hours ago and I have had nothing but regret around agreeing to stay with TJ. I am supposed to be out here for six weeks, co-teaching a course at the university before deciding if I want to accept the full time position with their philosophy department. I planned on staying in an Airbnb, but TJ insisted I stay here. He said it would be quieter than being next to campus and that I would have a great time meeting his friends and coworkers. If the dozen architects and environmentalists I had met thus far were any indication, TJ was so very wrong. What did he say was the reason for this party anyways? Something about having to celebrate the achievements of all species, not just humans, so of course a graduation party for his dog was a necessity.

I had spent the last 30 minutes in the kitchen, avoiding any more introductions to TJ's friends. The smell of his god awful nature candles heavy in the air making me wish I could retreat outside already. Never have I wanted to be away from a party more than now. I was pulled from my thoughts when someone ran into me, causing a few drops of beer to slosh out of the neck of my recently opened bottle.

"Fuck." I hear him say under his breath. He is short but carries himself with confidence. He is sporting long deep brown hair pulled back into a topknot, swirls of blue hair visible throughout the braided bun. "Um sorry, I didn't see you..." he started.

"No, don't apologize, I should have been more aware of my surroundings." I cut him off. He is the only person I have heard curse at this party. I suddenly realize my hand is resting on his arm. I slowly withdraw it, hoping not to draw attention to my rapid heart rate. "I'm Jake, TJ's cousin," I say far too quickly as I offer my hand to him.

"Zander," he says as he grasps my hand, holding on to it longer than expected as my eyes lock onto his deep brown, nearly black orbs. Before I can say anything else, a petite girl pulls him away. I watch as another girl draws him into a hug. Of course he isn't here alone, I think as I watch the interaction. I am not sure how long I am watching them when the girls walk away. As I debate approaching Zander to inquire more about who he is, I see him down a beer I didn't even register him having, and before I know it, he is heading to the living room with a new beer in hand. I make a mental note to ask TJ how they know each other. He doesn't seem to fit with this crowd, for more reasons than just the sweet smell of tequila that was on his breath when he spoke. His clothes are much more casual than those around us, and his language much less forced, no way he was one of TJ's coworkers. I sneak out the back door for a few minutes of fresh air. Just a quick 10 minute reprieve before I search for TJ, I think to myself.