Les I'm Miserable
Alexander's palms were sweaty. Not from sickness, or heat, or anything like that. His nerves were acting up. He had something planned for Eliza, but he didn't know if she'd be okay with it. After all, she was a reincarnate. She had been married and had children with a man. Yet, he thought that they might have a chance to be together. This was a stupid idea, but Alex didn't know if he could live without at least trying.
With a deep breath, he opened his phone and clicked on Eliza's contact, labeled Smoliza.
help.me:
Hey, Eliza?
Smoliza:
Yes?
help.me:
I had the thought, actually I've been wondering for some time now, if you'd like to go out on a date with me?
He knew this was a terrible way to ask a girl on a date, but he couldn't muster up the courage to ask her to her face. There was something about confessing to her that made him feel like something important was about to happen. Under normal circumstances he would be excited, but for some reason he felt extremely anxious about it.
Smoliza:
I'd love that! Where do you want to go?
Alexander pumped a fist in the air in excitement.
help.me:
I was thinking that we could just go to a coffee shop, or something?
Smoliza:
Sounds like the perfect first date.
A bright smile came to Alex's face. This was probably the easiest date he'd ever been on, in terms of asking the girl out. Emotionally, this was way harder than it needed to be.
Hopeful, he finished making plans with Eliza, and promptly began writing.
For as long as he could remember, Alexander loved writing, and he did it constantly. It had been like a coping mechanism for him. A way to get out all his emotions. Ever since falling down that staircase, it was how he kept himself sane.
As weird as it seemed, his life had changed since that fall. In more ways than one. His dreams had been odd since then. Ranging from fighting in war to quiet, familial moments to debating fiercely against a man who had no idea what he was talking about. All of the dreams felt connected, and most of them seemed to have people who had been in other dreams. Strangely everything seemed coated in clouds in the dreams. He could barely see, and while he could tell people were talking, he could never tell what they were saying. Whenever he woke up from one of those dreams, he would have a headache.
These dreams interested him to no end. People around him were revealing themselves as reincarnates. Angelica had always joked about him being a reincarnate. What if she was right? What were the odds of that?
Every single time he had one of those dreams, he'd write about it in his journal. He didn't want to forget whatever it was that was happening in them. Maybe, one day, he could figure out who he was.
Other than the dreams, he wrote about his life. He complained about teachers like Franklin and students like Johnson, rambled about his brother and parents, and wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs about Eliza.
All of a sudden, a wave of fatigue came over Alexander. It made sense, he had terrible sleeping habits, but it caught him off guard. He kept writing, but his head hit the table in a matter of minutes.
Everything was foggy. Another one of his memory-dreams then. This one was set in a place that was warm and bright. He was standing in something that was probably a building.
The warm atmosphere left almost immediately, and everything turned cold and dark. People were yelling, and Alexander was panicking.
Wind was howling and things were being thrown around him. The sky-when had he gone outside?-was yellow and dark. Water was rushing around him and he had half a mind to run from it.
It was no use, for the water kept rushing and throwing itself around him. He was fighting to stay afloat but then came the debris, falling around him.
He was trying to swim, but he just couldn't do it. The water was rising and filling his body. His eyes stung and he felt like someone was shaking him and he couldn't breathe, why couldn't he breathe-
"Alexander!" Someone was holding him by his shoulders, but Alex couldn't see them. Everything was so blurry and he felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest with how much it was pounding.
The person was speaking, but Alex couldn't hear them through the sounds of heart beating and his blood rushing. His head ached as it didn't every single time he experienced one of these dreams. But then someone was taking his hand and putting it on something that was moving, like it was breathing. He tried to follow it.
After some time, the blurriness left, and Alexander was looking up at Lafayette.
"Laf?" He whispered. The older brother smiled and wiped the tears from Alexander's eyes. He hadn't even realized he was crying.
Lafayette pulled away, but not before Alexander saw Eliza standing in the doorway to his room. "Are you okay? What were you dreaming about?"
"The hurricane." Alexander whispered. Technically, it was true. It just didn't seem like it was his hurricane. Laf gave Alex a look of pity.
"Hurricane?" Eliza asked, looking both innocent and way too interested at the same time. Lafayette and Alexander cringed, but the latter still wanted to tell her. He trusted her, even if he wished that this wasn't how she'd find out. Something inside him just trusted her so deeply, you'd think they'd been married for 200 years.
Alex took a deep breath. "When I was a kid, there was a hurricane where I lived. I've been getting nightmares ever since." Eliza gasped softly, and she exchanged a meaningful glance with Lafayette. Alexander supposed that was a reincarnate thing, but he didn't know what the hurricane had to do with it.
It suddenly occurred to him that Eliza wasn't supposed to be at their dorm. "Wait. Eliza, why are you here?" Sure, Lafayette could've come into the dorm room and seen Alexander having that nightmare, but that didn't explain why Eliza was there. They had planned on meeting at the coffee shop.
"Alexander, it's currently 7:32." Alex's eyes widened. He was asleep for 3 hours? "I was waiting at the shop for 17 minutes. I called you, and when you didn't wake up I called Laf. He picked me up and brought me here." Eliza looked him up and down worriedly, most likely still worried about the nightmare. He looked down sadly. His stupid sleep schedule ruined their date. He didn't know if she was really looking forward to the date, but maybe she would've at least liked it.
"You didn't do anything wrong." Eliza said, as if she had read his mind. She grabbed one of his hands. "We can still have a date, we could just stay here instead. We could watch a movie." Alexander almost objected, wanting to tell her that they could still go ahead with the original plan, but he felt his eyes droop and decided she was right.
Eliza led the half-asleep man to the couch and threw on a Disney film. He couldn't tell what movie it was, as his eyes were already closed, and his head was lolling onto her shoulder. That night, Alexander dreamed of nothing but a comfortable warmth and the knowledge that everything could be okay.
------
Peggy wasn't as smart as her sisters or her friends, but she wasn't dumb. Max and Kate had been acting weird for a while. They were constantly gone, but when they were with her, they walked on eggshells. Sometimes she would catch Max staring at her, like the red haired girl was trying to figure her out. It was unsettling, to say the least.
Now was one of those times, except Kate was also staring. Part of Peggy didn't want to say anything, but she still found them annoying. She didn't want to say anything, though. If she said something, she didn't know if she'd be able to keep herself from saying something rude. People got offended so easily these days, it was almost laughable.
So, she continued to eat her breakfast, hyperaware of Max looking over the top of her book and Kate glancing over from the couch. The tension in the room only grew, though. It was as thick as butter. Until, it finally broke.
Peggy slammed her almost empty cup into the table. "Why do you guys keep staring at me like that?!" Kate waved her hands in front of her face rapidly.
"We aren't doing anything like that!" A bead of sweat fell down the blonde girl's face. "W-what do you mean?"
Kate was a terrible lier. "I mean," Peggy growled. "You're staring at me like your analyzing me and i'm about to explode! Why?" Usually, the Schuyler sister didn't have much of a temper. However, recent events had left her more vulnerable and emotional. Katelyn looked as if she was going to try (and fail) to lie again.
Max held her hand up, effectively shutting Kate up. "I'm observing you because I think you're a reincarnate. I roped Katelyn into my investigation as well." Peggy paused for a moment, only a squeak coming from her. She really hadn't expected that. Still, she couldn't help but realize that she hadn't tried to keep her reincarnate status that much of a secret, especially as of late.
"Judging from the look on your face, i'm right." Max dropped the confident and calm mask, letting a bright grin decorate her face. "So, spill! You have got to tell me everything! What's it like being a reincarnate? Who are you a reincarnate of? Do you know any other reincarnates? What was your revelation like? How-"
The red haired girl was quickly cut off by Kate, who slapped her shoulder. "Max! Let her talk!"
"Sorry." Max adopted a sheepish look, but it took a mere 3 seconds for the two new souls to redirect their attention back to Peggy. The reincarnate didn't know exactly what to do. She took a deep breath, knowing that she couldn't really keep anything from either of them, as tempting as it may be.
"It's like having extra memories. I'm the reincarnation of Peggy Schuyler, as in the girl from Hamilton. I do know some other reincarnates. All of my memories came at once." Peggy sucked in a deep breath, feeling rather out of breath.
Despite the answers the reincarnate offered, Max's curiosity was not quenched. "Who are the reincarnates you know?" Then, she added as an afterthought: "You don't have to tell us who they were, but I want to know who they are now."
Peggy cursed under her breath. She didn't want to tell Max or Kate to know that stuff, but she wasn't sure that she had a choice. Reincarnation was a serious and personal thing. But...maybe she could act more respectful while giving out their identities.
"Alright, listen. I'll tell you who they currently are, but you cannot corner them and ask them questions. They'll tell you who they are if they want you to know. Understand?" Both Kate and Max nodded.
Peggy smiled sadly. "Good. The reincarnates, that I know of, are Gilbert Lafayette, Angelica Skylar, Elizabeth Small, Audrey Nielson, Martha Carter, and Harry Mason."
For a moment, she thought that they'd leave her alone, but Kate just had to open her mouth and ask yet another question. "What about John Larson?" It was an innocent question, but it brought forth so much for Peggy.
"He…" Peggy gulped and shuttered. "He is a reincarnate, but he hasn't had his revelation." The new souls across from her nodded.
Kate seemed to realize her question had struck a nerve, but Max was not deterred. "How do you know he's-"
"I would appreciate it if we changed the subject."
Max pouted. "But there's so much-"
"Drop it." Peggy growled.
"Peggy-"
"I said drop it! Leave me alone!" She jumped out of her seat and walked to her room. She shared it with Max, but she couldn't care less about that at the moment.
Peggy knew that it wasn't healthy for her to avoid this, and that she shouldn't be hung up over John, but she couldn't help it. Seeing Lafayette and Adrienne reunite like that had made her ache for her boyfriend to return to her.
Still, she needed to get over this. Or, if she couldn't do that, she would work to come to terms with it. Anything to be able to act like herself again.
Until then, however, she would wallow in her own self-pity.
The Hamilfilm? Amazing. There's just so much about it that amazed me. Ever since I watched it, my inspiration for Hamilton fics has been nonstop. Im going to try to update more, but I am going to try and continue updating my other fics as well. So, if you like this fic, you should check out my other works!
Yes, this is shameless self promotion.
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