Another week had come and gone. I stood in frustration on Friday as I stared up at the whiteboard in the guards' training room. I was still number eight out of ten, but Tuesday was when the sparring started. If I could win at least one spar, then my name would probably move up a little bit.

Surprisingly, no one had quit yet. Murphy was even still there, but he didn't bother me. After my rage fit last week, he barely even made eye contact with me. It seemed like he actually felt bad for what he said, but it was hard to picture Murphy with actual human emotions, so I figured that maybe he was just learning to leave me alone. 

Wells and I's relationship actually seemed to be getting better. He wasn't as judgmental, and I was more open with him. We hung out more, and I actually had begun to enjoy spending time with him again. However, I was still unable to say those three stupid words to him. I love you. I probably never would be able to say them, because if I did it would just be a lie.

Also, my dad kept bringing up the Annual Star Festival which was happening in approximately six days. He would tell me that I needed to go since I would be finishing my classes soon, and how he went to the one the year he graduated and actually had fun.

But, I couldn't picture myself having fun at that festival full of ass clowns. Even if everybody was going, I would blow it off to actually do something that didn't make me want to jump out in space and die.

Basically, I had so many situations stressing me out, and I needed to blow off some steam. My usual tactic would be to head down to The Loft and see what Jasper and Monty had cooked up down there, but I wasn't in the mood to get drunk. I was in the mood to hit something. Preferably Murphy's face, but he wasn't around.

So I found myself in the back of the training room hitting a punching bag over and over. I was alone in the room. All of the guards were out for their shifts. It was also past curfew, but I honestly didn't even care at that point.

My hair was up in a tight ponytail as sweat rolled down my face. I had pulled off my blue sweater and was left in my simple black tank top. Anger and frustration fueled my every punch or kick, and I was too caught up with beating up the punching bag (Which I pretended was Murphy's face) to notice someone stepping into the dim-lit room.

"You're out past curfew," A familiar and deep voice stated. A voice that made my heart jump in my chest and excitement fill my body, "and you have terrible form."

I continued punching without turning around, "I appreciate the confidence boost."

I heard Bellamy coming closer, and before I knew it his hands were on my waist as he fixed my stance. My breathing hitched, and his touch sent electric shocks through my veins.

"There. That's better," But, he didn't step away. Instead, he grabbed my wrists and pulled them higher in front of my face. "And keep your fists high, so you can protect your face easier."

In an attempt to hide Bellamy's effect on me, I turned to my rudeness, "Don't you have a job to do? Halls to patrol? People to arrest?"

"I'm on my break, but you seem really eager to get rid of me," Bellamy answered with his lips turning up slightly.

"Well, maybe I just don't like your company," I spit out as I threw another punch. He still hadn't moved away. His chest was almost pressed against my back. "Is personal space a foreign concept to you or something?"

Bellamy only moved closer to me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, and the action sent chills running down my spine, "Usually, girls like it when I invade their personal space."

I clenched my jaw. His words made my heart do backflips in my chest, but when the thought of Wells crossed my mind I made myself speak up, "Well, I'm not like most girls, so back the hell up before I make you."

His lips lingered by my ear a little longer, "Oh, I'd love to see you try, Princess." Before I could retort with a snappy comeback, I felt the heat of his body disappear, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "You know, I passed guard's training with flying colors, so if you wanted I could help you get that number one spot."

I turned around with raised eyebrows, "And why the hell would you want to help me?"

Bellamy shrugged, "Maybe I'm just curious about you."

I let out a laugh, "Bullshit."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What-"

I walked closer to him, "I said that's a bunch of bullshit because I know guys like you, Bellamy. You act all flirty and mysterious to lure girls in just so you can get in their pants," With narrowed eyes, I pressed my finger against his chest and pushed him backwards a little. "Well, I'm not some conquest. I'm not just another trophy for you to win. So, don't waste your time."

I expected him to respond with some snarky or cocky comment that would make me want to slap him, but instead, he kept his eyes locked onto mine. I could feel the electricity between us as he grabbed my finger. I let out a gasp as Bellamy pulled me close to him, right against his chest.

He looked down at me as my heart hammered in my chest, "Princess, has anyone ever told you that you overthink things too much?" His voice was barely above a whisper. I wanted to back away, but I couldn't will myself to move. I was locked in his consuming gaze. "I want to help you because you remind me of someone I care about."

"Who is she?" I still couldn't look away from him.

Bellamy clenched his jaw, "She's gone."

Then something weird happened to me. Something that had never happened to me before. My heart fluttered in my chest. I actually felt my heart flutter in my chest like the times I read about in some cliché romance novel.

At that moment I saw a side to Bellamy many people never got the chance to see. His eyes were full of pain and his voice was vulnerable. He was...real.

"I... I'm sorry," I managed to say.

He took a deep breath as he released me and backed up a little bit, "Me too."

I gave him a weird look. Why was he sorry? "But you don't have anything to be sorry for."

A small smile tugged at the edge of his lips. Not a happy smile. It was a smile he forced because the alternative was falling apart; a smile I knew all too well.

"You'd be surprised, Princess."

And as he stood there, his eyes giving away words he wasn't ready to say, I realized that maybe I did want him helping me pass my guard's training because he understood. Bellamy understood what it was like to hide pain so far away that everyone began to think there was no pain inside you when in reality it was the only thing inside you.

I picked up my bag, which was lying on the floor by the punching bag, "I really should go. Like you said, it is past curfew and all." Bellamy nodded. "You aren't going to rat me out are you?"

"I don't know. You haven't exactly been very nice to me lately," he answered with a playful grin.

I rolled my eyes as I began to walk away, "I'll see you tomorrow, Bellamy."

"Tomorrow?"

With a smirk on my lips, I turned around, "I need help with my 'bad form'."

"Yes, a lot of help."

I ignored his annoying insight, "We meet here right after dinner, and no one can know about this ok?"

Bellamy quirked an eyebrow, "Why not? Afraid your boyfriend will find out that you're spending time with an older, much hotter man than he is?"

That was true, but of course, I wasn't going to admit it, "No, I'm not. Just be here on time, and don't you make me regret this, Bellamy Blake."

Bellamy had to get in one last annoying smirk, "Alright Princess. It'll be our little secret"

I shook my head, "You are so pathetic." 

And after seeing one last aggravating smirk, I walked out of the training room. I felt all weird and happy and almost like I was drunk. Wait, did that mean I was...giddy?

Oh my God, I was giddy. Bellamy freaking Blake made me giddy. The world must have been ending...Again.

~_~_~_~_~

The next day, I woke up with a smile. Which was weird and new. I tried to keep Bellamy out of my head as I walked to class, but that was impossible. No matter how many times I tried to dismiss the thought of him, it kept snaking back around, ready to catch me whenever it could.

Then, when I walked into class and saw Wells sitting in his usual seat and saving one for me, my heart clenched. Somehow, I felt like I had betrayed him, and guilt rushed into my heart as I sat down and he greeted me with a delicate kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," he said with a welcoming smile. "Everything ok?"

I nodded as I faked a smile, "Yeah, I'm just tired. I went to bed late last night."

"Oh, girl don't even get me started," I heard Archie speak up from behind me. "I haven't gotten a decent's night rest in... well I can't even remember."

"That's probably the sleep deprivation talking," Clarke replied.

"Thank you Miss 'I know everything because I'm training to be a doctor'," Archie gave her a sarcastic smile, and Clarke rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Garcia quieted everyone down as she began her lesson, but I wasn't paying attention. My gaze was trained on Wells, and how horrible I was feeling. It was really starting to hit me that I would never be able to give him what he wanted. I would never be able to tell him I loved him honestly. I would never be able to feel giddy or happy because of him.

And the thought of breaking his heart nearly crushed my own.