Morty grinned proudly, setting up a child's birthday party on his final day off. He should be celebrating his own, but AJ's took priority, obviously. Kyle wound up calling the morning after they'd met, and they were currently becoming friends. Morty was definitely interested in the man, but he was almost boring. He was almost more afraid of adventure than Morty had been once upon a time. Sure, he had seemed interesting in the club, but he was actually... really boring. But he had been kind enough to help Morty set up in Sam's place. 
       Gary was taking care of wrangling those that could arrive. Everybody wanted to be there for Morty's birthday, though no wives or boyfriends would be present. The men were bringing their kids and giving their significant others time off, which Morty was fine with. 
       When Gary was the first to show up, Morty could not have been happier. He had somebody to save him from the incessant droning Kyle provided, always talking about how bad it was at the office, how annoying and fat Richard was. The last one always made Morty laugh, but he didn't want to hear it all the time. 
       "Where's the kid?" Gary questioned. "I wanna make sure Rick ain't the only one that can steal him all the time anymore." Morty laughed, nodding in understanding before he opened the door. "AJ, come outside!" he called. He stared in adoration as AJ rose from the couch with his hand half in his mouth, eating a piece of licorice from Sam. Morty rolled his eyes, scooping the toddler up and finding Gary grinning. "I'll take that, and you can take these. The black bag's your gift, the blue one is his." Morty nodded, setting the bags on separate tables. One was decorated for AJ, covered in Spongebob, while the other simply had a while tablecloth weighed down on it. He set the bags on their respective tables and found Gary chatting with Kyle. Good, Morty thought, inspecting the bouncy house he had rented out specifically because AJ had seen it on tv in an ad and babbled nonstop about it as the ad ran. 
       Morty double checked the kid's snacks and the adult drinks, ensuring they were separated properly. He didn't doubt he'd be the one staying sober to keep an eye on things as he went over everything, nodding in approval. 

       It had taken roughly an hour for everybody to assemble, but the children were already screaming in the bouncy house. Gary, surprisingly enough, happened to take a liking to Kyle, talking to the man constantly. Morty had been right in assuming he would be the one to not touch any of the alcohol as all of the men seemed glad it was there. The brunet glanced occasionally towards the two tables with quite a few gifts on them, glad his friends were so kind but wishing they realized they didn't have to bring him anything.
       The men were all in a large group, laughing and sharing stories while Morty ran over to check on the kids. They had fallen oddly quiet, and he laughed when he saw them all laying in the bouncy house, having bounced themselves to sleep. Even AJ had passed out, laying his head on Connor's stomach and his feet on Sal's legs. Morty made his way over to the group with a short, quiet laugh, grabbing his Cola. "Morty," Don called over. "How old are you today?" Morty laughed, "28." 
       "Al!" Don called, grabbing Al from the other side of the group. "You owe me $10!" Morty watched Al nod and glanced to Don curiously. "I was the only one that thought you were older than 24. You look 18, kid, honestly." Morty laughed, almost having Cola fly from his nose as he watched Al grumble and hand a ten to Don. "Am I ever gonna look older?" he questioned aloud, stealing a pack of gummies from the kids table. The others laughed, Gary patting Morty's shoulder as he drank from what had to be his third beer. "Never get old, baby-face," he called. Many nodded in agreement, each of the men nodding to Morty before taking a drink. 
       Kyle was hanging out with Gary, the men Morty would forever know as his bouncers were gathered in a group, and Rick was at his car, lighting another cigarette. He seemed to be avoiding everybody, though he had told a few stories and drank a bit. The toddlers were still sleeping in the bouncy house and Morty couldn't wait to see how they woke up, praying they weren't a mass of crank. 
       "You keep running away," Morty announced, walking over to Rick. The man hummed in acknowledgement, still leaning against his vehicle and releasing a cloud in a short exhale. "Not really that into socializing. Those guys ain't the same as the old ones. Gary's gabbing to your friend over there, so that's about all I got."
       Morty shrugged, standing upwind so as to avoid any smoke blown in his face. "It's nice that they all get along, though. I've seen places where the bouncers are often getting into fights of their own. These guys are great friends. And I'm glad Gary likes him because I was about ready to hit him somethin' awful. All he talks about is the office and his job and how fat Richard got." Rick laughed, nodding as he stepped on the remainder of his cigarette. "Yea, I saw that bastard the other day. You could roll him down a hill like that, I'm tellin' ya. He let himself go."
       "I guess he deserved it," Morty chuckled, checking his phone. "I'm surprised Jo never showed up. Usually he's my go-to for these things." 
        Morty heard a commotion and looked over, giving a groan of disapproval. "Oh no," he mumbled. "The kids woke up." 
       "Shit," Rick grumbled, following Morty back to the group of drunk dads. The brunet sighed, wandering over to check on the kids while Rick went around and started talking to the others. 
       "You guys all awake?" Morty asked, met with many cranky nods. "You think you want some cake?"
        Trust sweets to keep a massive tantrum at bay. The kids paraded from the bouncy house, awkwardly slipping into their shoes and crowding around Morty. The man laughed, stepping through the crowd. "Okay," he announced, laughing as they stared expectantly up at him. "First things first, as your new God," he laughed, trying to find his own kid, "you guys stay here, and I'll be right back."
        Morty stepped through the herd of hungry animals and made his way through the house, grabbing AJ's cake from the counter. There was a single candle, in the shape of a 5, in the middle. "Happy Birthday, AJ" was scrawled on white frosting in green lettering, a few shapes from Spongebob sitting prettily. 
       "Any limitations?" Morty called over to the group of parents, holding the cake up and watching them all shake their heads. "Feed the masses!" Don called over, leaving the circle to help Morty. The brunet laughed, setting the cake down as he grabbed AJ. "Alright," he mumbled, lighting the candle. "You guys wanna sing to him so we can get the cake?"
       Morty listened to the awkward herd sing 'Happy Birthday' to AJ, holding the kid up to see his cake. AJ laughed, squirming in his arms, and Morty lowered him once they finished singing. "Make a wish!" he called out, grinning when AJ finally managed to blow the candle out. 
       Don laughed, helping Morty dish out the plates and send the children to eat in the grass. The brunet wandered towards the drunken group again, sighing. 
       "You should do your gifts while the hoard is distracted," Al suggested, motioning to Morty's table. The brunet shrugged, "I guess, yea. I feel like that's a bad sign, but whatever." The men around Morty laughed, each issuing some form of a warning as the brunet wandered towards his table. "I swear to God, it better not be anywhere near as bad as I'm thinking."

       It was. It was actually somewhat worse than Morty had thought. He had a new phone case, some normal things, and a small pile of sex toys. He hadn't been able to stop laughing long enough to see every single one of them, but he didn't pull them completely from their bags. When he'd finished, he'd taken a minute to catch his breath, trying to stop laughing. He was thrown into more giggle fits every time he looked at the bags, hearing the laughter of the men around him slowly begin to die down. 
       "Alright," Morty cleared his throat, giggling slightly and reigning it in. "I wa-wanna know who's i-idea that was." 
       "I have no shame. You're living a single life, I figured you should be prepared." Al stood proudly and everybody pointed at him with big grins. "You know what," Morty laughed, "I don't know why I expected anything less from you guys." 
       The brunet found Don still laughing, holding up one final bag to Morty. "You left one," he announced. "If it's as bad as that, I don't want that," Morty laughed, pointing to the pile. 
       "Aw, no, it's not that bad. I promise." Don held the bag to Morty and the brunet took it hesitantly, staring at Don before he looked in the bag. "Don!" he shouted, pulling a bear out for everybody to see. The man was laughing behind the group and Morty couldn't help it as he laughed harder than he'd expected. "It's the BDSM teddy bear!" Don shouted. "There're cuffs in the bag that work on the bear, too," he spoke between laughter. Morty peered in the bag and, sure enough, there were fuzzy pink cuffs.
       "Alright," Morty laughed, drawing the objects up. Al was having a field day, bent over and trying to catch his breath as Morty looked between the objects in his hands. "It's not complete until I do it," Morty laughed, pulling the bear's arms behind it and using the small plastic cuffs on it. "The official dream crusher, the BDSM teddy bear," Morty announced triumphantly. Al and Don fell over, their faces bright red as they tried to breathe. Gary and Rick were laughing in the back, Kyle looking like he didn't know what to do while the other men pointed at the bear and laughed. Morty quickly put it back in the bag and set the item on the table, laughing as he wandered back to the group. "You guys," he chastised, laughing as he wagged a finger at the whole group. "You're a special kind of messed up," he announced, watching Don and Al pull themselves from the ground. 
       "The sweetheart and the bear," Al laughed. "I know what Goldilocks got up to!" Don laughed with Al again and Morty could see how drunk the group was getting, laughing as he found the kids leaving their plates in the yard and climbing back into the bouncy house. 
       "Hey, kid! You better have cake!" Josh announced, coming up from the back of the group. The others nodded in agreement and Morty laughed. "One second," he nodded, walking back into the house.
       Morty went about grabbing his own birthday cake from the counter, grabbing the candles though leaving them out. He didn't know if he wanted to make a wish or not. Not like they came true, and these guys were drunk and hungry. 
       He walked outside and set the cake on his own table, ensuring the vicious toddlers wouldn't smell more sugar and come rushing out as he hurried through grabbing everything he needed. "Candles!" Don called over and Morty nodded, grabbing the 2 and 8 from the packages. "Always candles!" Gary yelled, laughing as Morty put them in the cake. "As long as you're alive, right Gary?" Morty called over, laughing as the man nodded as though in approval of something.
       "Alright," Gary called out as Morty lit his own candles. "One.. two.. three! Happy Birthday to you," Morty sighed, enduring the birthday song though he smiled at the drunk men singing. 
       "Make a wish!" Don called the second the song was over. Morty nodded, thinking for a moment before he blew out the candles. He never really made a wish, he rarely actually did. But he'd seen AJ rush out of the bouncy house and spring over to Rick, smiling as he blew out the candles.