The voices ran through Esther's hand as she stood in her bathroom.

"We can't let the poor girl suffer any longer..."

"She still hasn't woken up..."

"Just pull the plug. We tried our best..."

"I'm sorry..."

Esther let out a breath, closing her eyes.

If Kirstie is dead, then I might as well be, too.

Esther went out into her room and grabbed a pen and paper.

Esther's heart poured its guts onto her final note, a stray tear or two blotting the occasional word.

She placed the note on the counter.

She sighed, letting more tears stream down her cheeks.

She opened the cabinet and grabbed a random bottle of pills.

She hesitated for a moment. Could she really do this? Could she really swallow all these pills and take her own life?

She shook her head, opening the bottle with a shaky hand.

She stared down into the bottle. I should say something. She thought.

She licked her lips. "Pills or tears, Esther?" She said to herself. "I'm done swallowing tears. With these pills, my tears will dry, and all my sorrows will end."

She downed the pills, swallowing every last one.

She turned and could already feel the pills taking effect. She rolled the paper up and placed it in the empty pill bottle.

She kept the bottle in her hand.

Her knees gave out from beneath her.

She lied on the tile floor, feeling herself slip away.

She let out her last breath.

She closed her eyes for the last time.

~

Kirstie opened her eyes for the first time.

First, she saw the bright hospital lights.

Then, she saw the shocked doctors and her overjoyed friends.

She didn't see Esther.

She asked about her, where she was.

Avi laughed. "She'll be so excited! She just left, maybe I can still get to her."

Kirstie nodded vigorously.

~

Avi returned later, but without Esther.

"Wh-where's Esther?" Kirstie stammered.

Avi walked up to Kirstie's bedside and hands her a pill bottle with a piece of paper inside.

Kirstie took it and looked up at Avi.

He was staring off into the middle-distance, his eyes glassy.

Kirstie swallowed the lump in her throat and opened the bottle, pulling out the paper.

It was in Esther's handwriting.

My name is Esther Kaplan.

I am, well, was, in love with a woman named Kirstin Taylor Maldonado.

I'm her tour manager.

I know it's an odd relationship to have with your client, but that was the one we had. We dated for a while, but she broke up with me, I said some harsh words, and now she's dead or dying right now.

I can't bear the thought of the last words we said to each other being words of hate and anger.

So, I'm taking my own life.

This isn't an honorable end, but then again, what honor do you have left when you lose the thing most important to you?

Avi, I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister. I'm sorry for leaving you.

Scott, I'm sorry for snapping at you whenever you tried to make me accept the fact that Kirstie wouldn't wake up. You were right.

Mitch, I'm sorry for never seeing you in the hospital. You're my friend, and I shouldn't have neglected you in your time of need.

Kevin, I'm sorry for making you drive me everywhere because I was too tired or depressed to do anything.

Kirstie, there isn't an apology on this earth that can cover all the things I did to you. I just hope you know how much I regret every little thing I wronged with you. Wherever you are, I hope you find this somehow. Wherever I go, I hope you'll be there, too.

Kirstie, our kingdom is gone, and I didn't want to be some ancient relic from it. There isn't a trace of what we built together left; it died with us.

Maybe in some other life we can rebuild it.

-Esther

Kirstie read the suicide note over and over, hoping the words would change somehow.

But it was written in permanent ink.

Kirstie hung her head, sobbing.

She watched as her tears blotted the last words Esther Kaplan ever wrote.