Preeti's Point of view

February, March, April, May, June...months passed like that. I cried every night, sitting in my balcony, missing him. I didn't forget his beautiful face, his mesmerizing smile and most memorable days of my life with him. This is become my favorite place to spend time.

Weather changed from cold to hot one but the day never went when I didn't miss him. Everyday it's getting hard to breathe and live without him.

I saw him every night in my dreams. They haunted me and reminde me that he is not mine anymore. He is someone else now. I have no right on him.

I started having nightmares too. I cried loudly when my nightmares haunted me. It's almost happen in every night. My eyes open automatically exact 3.00 A.m of the morning, when he called me to break the engagement. I always drenched in my own sweat when I woke up from the nightmare.

Mummy's health is better than before. Everyone is back to their normal life except me. When I looked at in my family's eyes, I saw pity and sympathy in their eyes for me.

I joined office next day when I came to know about the loan. I pay installments of loan every month.

My life in office became miserable. When everyone in my office, came to know about the news that my engagement was broke just before the week of the wedding, they made fun of me everyday, especially Priyanka. She never leave a chance to mock me.

I just pretend to everyone that everything is back to normal in my life but my heart knows nothing is normal. It's in pain. It missed him so much.

I stopped calling him after that day. I promised myself not to call him and love him silently even though I know he never love me back. Three words which he said to me might be nothing to him but they are life to me. My heart is crave for him every night.

I searched his name on Google wanted to know about him. When his page is open in wikipedia, the first picture is open make my heart shattered more.

He is standing with other women in his arms. He got engaged to her four months back and going to marry her soon. Her name is Anna Smith. She is the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her model like figure fit perfectly in his arms. Now I can understand why he broke our engagement. Anyone can do the same.

He grew a stubble make him more handsome but something is missing in his eye. He look tired. His eyes didn't have a glint which makes him beautiful.

They both smiling looking at each other while exchanging the engagement ring. Anna was smiling lovingly looking at him.

But something is missing in his smile. It's not reach to his eyes. I could see that even in photo.

It must be because of his busy schedule. My mind said to me.

I didn't read further any thing. I can't bear more to look at him with other's woman arms. That night I cried lot and didn't sleep whole night.

Kshama is the only one who knows about my condition and give me a shoulder for cry.

My boss getting flirty towards me more by passing everyday. He broke up with Priyanka and never leave a chance to touch me. One day He even try to took advantage of me when I went his cabin to drop a file.

'Now who will save you from me. Your fiance..oh! Your ex fiance I must say.' Is his exact word. I saved myself for him that day, some how. But I don't know for how long I could save myself for him.

It's humiliating and I can't complain against him because I need this job badly. I have to pay loan. After that day I ignored to go to his cabin alone or going near to him.

Priyanka took out her frustration on me everyday. No one dare to say anything against to her because now her father is a head manager of all branches in saharanpur.

She even slapped me when no one is in office. I didn't complain her about anything. I made myself strong to bear a torture of Priyanka and my boss.

Kshama is also not there to save me all of this. She got promotion three months back and transferred to meerut city. But she called me every week. I didn't tell her about Priyanka and my boss behavior towards me.

Relatives, neighbors and even my colleagues in office never leave a chance to taunt me and make my nightmares even worse then before. I stopped going anywhere. I went office and came direct home, after that I locked myself in my room and spend so many hours sitting in my balcony and think about him. I only went downstairs for food.

No one knows about my condition. I pretended happy in front of everyone but my heart cries when I was alone. Sometime I asked God why he written all this in my fate. Why me? Why can't Siddharth love me back.

I don't know what God written I my fate further but I always want my love will be happy no matter whom he love. I always pray for him of make him most happiest person in the world.

............................................................................

'Slap.....'

The sound of slap echoed in a Priyanka's cabin.

My head is turned automatically otherside. I put a hand on my red cheek which she just slapped.

"What is this. Can't you just do a simple work." Priyanka said while throwing papers on my face.

I keep my head down. My eyes is welled up with tears but I threatening them not to fall. Priyanka is handling our branch past one month because our boss is went on a tour with his family. Her torture on me is increasing day by day and make my life more miserable.

"Priyanka.." I said in a low voice.

'Slap..'

She slapped me again on my other cheek and this time I taste a blood.

"Call me mam.." she said angrily.

"Mam I checked papers twice. Everything is written in way you told me." I said nervously.

"Listen bitch..because of you, my father shouted on me on phone. If he shout on me again I'll make sure to make you fire and don't forget slut you have debt to pay." She said angrily while griping my hairs in her fist.

I put my hand on her fist to make her stop.

"Ma...mam...you..you.. can't do this.." I stammered. Tears is escaping from my eyes.

I don't know why is she hate me so much. No one's dare to say anything against her. If she complained his father about me he will fired me in just her one call. I don't know how I manage to be there. Otherwise she make me fired long back.

She slapped me almost everyday just for mere mistakes even sometimes she slapped me in front of everyone to make me feel low and this time he(sid) is not here to save me.

"Ooo..really..you don't know slut what I'm capable of. The owner of this company Siddharth kapoor is not your fiance anymore. You are just a employee for him like everyone and you are nothing to me now. I'm sure he must have known that you are a big slut that's why he broke engagement with you. Poor him. If he knew before, he never engaged you." She said making her hold tight in my hair.

"Aaahhhh.." I cried in pain when her grip is become tighter. My vision is blurred due to my tears continuously falling from my eyes.

"Thank God now I don't have to pretend to be friend with you. I was getting sick of it and stay away from my boyfriend." She said while gritting her teeth.

"now leave.." she said while pushing me to the floor.

I land on the floor. I look at Priyanka and she walked back to her desk. I collect papers from floor. After collecting papers I put them in a file and walked out from her cabin.

I put file on my desk and walked to the washroom.I looked at my image in mirror. My cheeks are all red. Five fingers are printed on my both cheeks. Blood is oozing out from my lower lip.

My vision became blurry due to tears. I turn on the tap and splashed water many time on my face. I wiped my face with my dupatta and brushed my hair with my fingers, try to make me look presentable.
............................................................................

I came back home from office. Everything is normal in home like every other day. I directly go upstairs and took a shower. After taking shower I changed into my night clothes. Mummy called from downstairs for dinner.

Mummy, papa and I sitting on a dinning table having our dinner. I don't have appetite so I just playing around with my food. Now days we ate dinner in silence. Everyone just ate their food and went back to their rooms and sleep.

"Preeti..how's going in office. " Papa break the uncomfortable silence.

"Fine." I said while playing along with my food.

"Are you okey beta.." mummy asked me looking at me.

"Yes mummy I'm fine." I said giving her a half smile.

"No, I mean, are you happy?" Mummy asked me.

"Yes mummy, I'm happy." I lied to her and bent my head lower.

"Preeti... we want to ask you something?" Papa asked me, looking at me.

I nodded my head, indicating him to continue.

"Preeti..it's been more then five month since and we know it's very soon to asking you but beta..this is life you have to move on." Papa said looking at me.

"I didn't get your point papa?" I asked him looking at him.

"Preeti if you are okey then Can we start searching other boy for you for marriage?" Papa said.

"Papa please..not now. I'm not ready for the marriage. Please give me some more time and I don't want to marry until I will pay loan completely. I don't want you to take any burned." I said, my eyes starting glossy.

How could I tell them that I don't want to be burden to them. They already do so much to me and it's my turn to do something for them. Paying loan which papa took for my marriage is only thing which I can do for them and who will accept a girl whose engagement is broke just a week before marriage.

"Don't worry about the loan Preeti...I will take care of that. I want to see you happy beta." Papa said leaning back to his chair.

"I know Papa, you both want me to see happy and trust me I'm happy to be with you." I whispered looking down to my plate. I could not see in there eyes when I was lying to them. My tears are ready to fall from my eyes but control them. I don't want that mummy, papa saw my tears.

"We won't force you Preeti. We will do what you want beta." Papa said in understanding tone.

"I'm done." I said and got up immediately from my seat along with my plate.

I put my plate in sink and walked towards my room. Now tears are started falling from my eyes. I came to my room and closed the door. I lean to the door and sit on floor. My back is leaning to the door frame. I pull my knees up to my chest and cry hard.

How am I get marry when my heart belongs to him. How am I able to someone else when he is living in my heart. How I can get marry with someone else when I am in love with whom, who doesn't love me back. He is someone else not mine then how...how I can marry with another man then him.

Why me? Why he did this to me. Why God written him in my fate when he is not mine. Why I love him so much?

I kept asking that question to myself and cried my heart out. I fell on the floor and keep crying holding my heart. The heaviness in my heart is increase and now it's paining.