Jaykee

Finally, the clock has struck four, which means it's show time!

The entrance of RUMSA is unlocked, letting in students and interested ARMYs that make their ways in like swarms of bees. Their expressions are obvious – happy, excited, astonished and bewildered. Unlike the students, I've come alone to Jungkook's mini performance just to support him. Along my way to the heartspace of RUMSA, I can feel my heart beating frantically alongside with my nervous breaths, as if I am the one to perform in front of these people.

Jungkook stands alone at the wide space, awaiting the arrival of his audience. "Annyeong, guys. Thanks for supporting me. I really appreciate that." Not long after his short speech, the whole space has already full of excited cheers and shrieks from the fan girls and boys, signifying that they all have received Jungkook's sincerity. The idol scans around the big crowd with his satisfied smile plastered on, his face shows happiness due to the students' approval on him. Jungkook clicks his knuckles and the music is on. "Hit it!"

He taps his large earphone and begins his dance along with the beat. First, he presents a solo dance for Bangtan's lead single, No More Dream without singing. Then, there comes Boy In Luv of their second mini-album and also Just One Day. Occasionally, he will sing his own lines with his voice so magnetic which drives the fan girls crazy on the spot. The songs are all linked together so that he won't exhaust himself dancing the whole song.

As I am a late comer, I can only stand at the back of the crowd with my arms crossed. The only thing that makes me groove is the beats of that music that keeps attack my eardrums violently. I'm not saying that I dislike this but I love it. Soon, I begin to let myself sink in between the world of BTS songs until suddenly, a pat on my shoulder finally pulls me out of my train of thoughts. Eventually I turn to see a familiar boy with his hair dyed in brown, his face is hidden behind a black mask and a pair of sunglasses.

At the sight of the suspicious looking male standing near me, all I can do is shooting him a confused look. By the time he pulls down his black mask and those sunglasses, my eyes are round with shock. "K-K-Kim Seokjin?!" Although I've almost shouted his name out, my voice is still sounded soft compared to that loud music surrounding us.

"Shh, you are Jaykee, right?" Putting his index finger in front of his lips, he also almost shouts at me to confirm my identity while taking out his phone. There is a picture of me reading in the library this morning. I wonder how this guy had actually done that when he was running away from 'danger'.

"Yes, I am." I admit with a nod.

Upon hearing my answer, Jin's lips quirk up into a smile. "Come," he gestures for me to follow him into the stairs and there we are in S2, the second floor of S Block. The door squeaks as he pushes the door open, and that is when I notice two dark shadow standing by the glass window. Their backs are facing us. My brain starts processing with the members of BTS, thinking that whether the pair of them are J-Hope or Rapmonster. But according to my own BTS knowledge, the shorter one must be Suga. Upon hearing our footsteps, they whirl and our eyes meet. Indeed, my instincts are always right.

Soon, more and more questions start to pop out in my mind, making me kind of wonder whether is this a surprise or it is planned and Jungkook knows that this will happen since the beginning. I swallow hard and find my throat dry at the sight of the other male – V. He looks even more angelic than the pictures I've saved in my phone's album.

I look at them as they approach, speeding up the beat my fragile heart. The sunlight that shines at them from behind turns these males into silhouettes, changing their appearance into realistic portraits. As both of them are towering in front of me, their mouths quiver as they smile at us. "Jaykee," greets V or Kim Taehyung if I shall say. "Nice to meet you." Instead of taking his hand to shake, I slap myself on the face to make sure that I'm not dreaming. Such sudden action of mine eventually drives out Taehyung's shocked expression while a loud chuckle from Suga, or Min Yoongi who stands right beside the angelic boy. A grin soon forms on Taehyung's face as he shakes his head. All of their reactions have proven that they are real. My face blushes at the moment when I have realised the truth.

Soon, Yoongi finally speaks, "You look cute with short hair," he praises while half-bending in front of me to take a closer look of my face. His intense glare makes my heart races faster than a cheetah and right now, I can't stop myself from praying deep in my heart. My brain turns messier and this makes it harder for me to calm down. To be honest, Yoongi's delicate visage has unconsciously triggered my memory while watching their Fire MV.

To be looking this close to an idol is making me very uncomfortable yet warm at the same time. The thought of myself being so ordinary in front of these stars is making me sick. I have to say that all of these boys' action is making me nervous more than excited and happy just because of me hating of myself.

At this fleeting moment, their utterly perfect faces has already drained my confidence out as myself again. Even Jungkook's face pops up in my head and I feel impossible to reach him as if he always stands beneath the clouds in the sky while I am just a short, helpless girl who tries to reach him by tiptoeing or jumping - unreachable. Such thoughts always reminds me that our worlds are different. For me, the boys are like Angels that flies whereas I'm just a stupid mortal who still believes that these stars are still reachable.

Upon thinking of these depressive thoughts, I can't stop myself from covering my face and turn away. "Please don't look at me like that, I'm not that special." I blurt before Yoongi tries to reach me. "I'm just an ordinary Malaysian Chinese girl..." I murmur while continue to back away. Although my eyes aren't on them anymore, I can still feel their gazes directed at me with wide eyes as well as parted lips. "I-I'm sorry..." is all what I have said before leaving them behind. Not going to let them see my watery eyes, I start towards the door behind me before my arm is pulled. Eventually I turn upon the touch and my eyes meet with Taehyung's.

By the time I've realised Taehyung's surprised expression, he has already stated his concern that is not the most wanted thing I want to hear from him. "Omonia (Oh my God), you're crying." Just then, I realise my face is wet which such situation will turn myself uglier than usual. "Mianhae (Sorry)..." The angelic male murmurs softly while eyeing me with his soft gaze. He reaches out to wipe my tears away while I look into his eyes with slightly parted mouth. Through those pools of talking eyes, what I can see are mixed emotions – sad and pity. If such expressions are revealed because of my outburst, I will be feeling more regret for my rudeness upon them. My hands let go off the door handle when he starts pulling me back towards the others and sits me down.

Still watching me with his warm gaze, Taehyung squats down to meet my eye level. As he opens his mouth, all the things I can acknowledge is only Korean. Yes, he tries to soothe me but he is assuming me to understand his language.

"I don't think she understands though," states another familiar voice from another quarter of this area. Rapmonster, or Kim Namjoon. He must have been sitting at that couch, watching us ever since I've enter this space without me noticing. Getting up to his feet, he starts pacing towards our direction while asking me, "Yeoja, do you need translation on Taehyungie's speech?" Namjoon asks as the said male elbows him with his eyebrows knitted together. An embarrassed smile follows after his action.

Eventually, I can't help but chuckle. "Yes, please Namjoon-oppa."

"Oh hyung, she's happy now!" exclaims J-Hope, or Jung Hoseok who also comes from nowhere. It can be seen that Hoseok hasn't been with them since the beginning as I can see their slight surprised visages while gazes are cast onto the cheerful male. His eyes turn into crescent shape when he grins widely at me.

"Hoseok-sshi," calls Namjoon in a brotherly way as his arms snake around Hoseok's neck. "Meet Jaykee, our Jungkookie's..." However, Namjoon stops mid-sentence as he tries to find the appropriate word to introduce my position in Jungkook's... heart?

"Friend." I smile as Namjoon acknowledges me awkwardly.

"Yeah, friend. Eun chinggu (It's a friend)," explains the group leader to Hoseok who couldn't catch up the words that we are currently speaking. "Taehyung-ah hoped that you would always be happy like this bitch." Namjoon starts while poking on Hoseok's waist, making the younger grumble and chuckle at the same time. "He said although he doesn't know about your past, that what might have made you to feel not confident, at least he knows that you are Jungkook's foreign friend. The first Malaysian foreign friend." As the leader emphasises the word 'friend' to me, the circumstance turns solemn in a way that I can't really fit myself in within a short time. "So you are quite precious to him though, so be it. What you should do is to think positively."

There is a long pause after Namjoon has finished translating Taehyung's words for me. Chewing on my lower lip, I take a bow as I feel extremely regret for treating them so badly. "Jusong hamnida (I'm really sorry), oppas. And kamsa hamnida (thank you) for sending your messages to me."

"No no no, you don't need to apologise." Namjoon states while stopping me from keep bowing like a Japanese. "You just have to love yourself."

I nod with a smile. "Yup, love yourself. Love myself."

"Love yourself, love myself..." murmurs the group leader under his breath as if an idea has popped up in his mind all of a sudden. "Maybe we can use this as our next theme." He snaps his fingers but only earns the others' confused look. "Okay never mind." Rolling his eyes while turning away from the others, he gestures at Seokjin whereas both of them nods in affirmation.

Following Namjoon's gaze, I turn towards Jin to find him wanted to tell me something. Soon, the oldest boy in this group finally opens his mouth and says, "Good to see you happy again, Jaykee." A genuine smile forms on his face. Then, he fishes out his mobile phone and takes a look on the screen for a short half second before announcing, "It's almost time. Come on, we'll lead you to a VIP seat. Jungkookie would have wanted to see you while he's performing." Without waiting for my response, he grabs on my wrist and there we go through the door which leads us to the stairs. Our footsteps echoes around the concreted place as the rest follows us from behind.

First updated in February 25, 2017.
Last edited in January 30, 2018.