fifteen | smile for the camera

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"renjunnie, say hi~" he sang in that same stupid tone he always did. waving that stupid camera in my unimpressed face and making my stupid heart melt over and over. i hated to give him the satisfaction of winning though, so i glanced at the lens and arched my brow.

"you say that every time, hyuck. what is this, the ninth video?" it must've been, since we had been at school about three weeks at this stage. i'm pretty sure we were having a hot september too, for i wouldn't have placed this section in the autumn slot yet.

"and yet you never say hi. when will you learn, huh?"

"when pigs fly. i'm not talking to a camera."

"it's not for the camera, idiot. it's for us. when we're older." he said that a lot. always ranting about 'when we're older' like we wouldn't be together. i should've known better than to believe him when he said he'd watch these silly videos. they were for me. he did this all just for me.

"then hi future us, i hope i still look as fabulous as i do right now."

"sexy. nice confidence."

i rolled my eyes from the floor i was sitting on and continued to cut out pictures i'd printed off in the school library. we were in his bedroom again, and it seemed his parents were getting used to having me over...unlike my own. i think mum and dad were still dubious and always told me to leave my door open.

he sat down beside me, still holding that device up. i wanted to see his face, but i couldn't. it annoyed me. "put it away, hyuck. this isn't a monumental moment."

"but it is. this is our first project together."

he was so pesky like that. always worming his way out of being wrong and shit. i poked him lightly with the scissors near his stomach, and my eyes widened a little when i watched how far through the shirt they could go.

he was unhealthily skinny, and it had been so dark by the rock pool that night that i hadn't seen it then. i wanted ask. badly. but i knew he would only weasel his way out of that one too, and i'd be left in a salty mood wondering why he didn't trust me. "donghyuck," i hummed, returning to cutting out the images, "do you remember what i look like naked?"

"i think so. it was pretty dark," he responded and finally brought the recorder down. "why?"

"i dunno. i can't remember what you look like."

"want to see?"

"not really," i lied, biting my lip with a clear smile and giggling when he pushed my shoulder like an irritated girlfriend or something. he then tucked some of my hair behind my ear and stared at me for a bit...i can still remember the tingles on my cheek where i could feel his gaze.

"really?"

"obviously that's a lie. why wouldn't i want to see my boyfriend naked?" whoops, i still think that was very bold of my moronic self back then. my chest is tight right now even recalling that, because i'd never said something like that before. i had never called him my boyfriend before. he seemed to like it though. his face brightened and he flicked his fringe back off his sweaty forehead.

"you're blushing," he teased.

"i'm not."

"you are, though."

"go away if you're not going to help," i hissed and turned around to face my back to him. i refocused my attention onto the cutting out, but the shuffling from behind me did distract me...a little.

like a lot a little.

"what are you doing?" i gushed as nonchalantly as i could muster. my acting was atrocious, and i can see that now. fuck, i can't even hide from the guys in my life right now how hung up on one boy i am. he didn't answer me then, though, so i tilted my head to see.

asshole. he'd taken off his shirt and was down to his shorts, making the area between my legs heat up again. i wasn't sure how often it did that now, because he turned me on like a light switch nearly everyday. "what's this?"

"it's warm in here," he purred with a sly wink and leaned back to rest on his hands behind him. "or maybe you're just hot."

"shut up, before i slap you," i feigned annoyance before turning back around to face him. i dropped the scissors and paper now that it was clear we weren't doing this project anymore tonight. but i don't think the assignment was what held my focus anymore...because the tanned ribs and prominent hipbones did instead. i stared at them, not even sexualising him in that moment...more so wondering why the hell he was so damn thin.

"mum says you can play the xylophone on them," he chuckled nervously, running his index finger down those ribs i'd been inspecting. he didn't want to talk about it, so he seemed to be lightening the mood.

"why?" was all i could mutter like some thick idiot with no sense of 'reading a room'. he poked the wall of his cheek with his tongue and shrugged to the best of his abilities while leaning back.

"just because."

"that's...not an answer. are you not eating?"

"ah, you got me," he smiled and tried to play it off as something as explainable as anorexia. "i gain weight really fast, y'know? i'm sort of losing it now."

he was a liar. a massive, compulsive liar. he would've looked fantastic with a bit of colour in his cheeks, weight on his bones, muscles in his arms. he hid most of this under cute clothes, and i hated myself even more for only noticing these things nearly two months into our friendship. "promise me you'll eat more," i think i said, because there wasn't much else i could do. i wasn't sure what the issue was.

"mhm, sure."

then, i sort of went quiet and eyed up his body a little more. he still wasn't unattractive, even with the lack of mass. i still found him alluring, sexy, beautiful. and this was definitely his way of reminding me what he looked like 'naked'.

"as you remember?" he mumbled softly as i crawled over to sit on his lap. "you said you didn't remember what i looked like without clothes...so..."

"nearly," i hummed and kissed the point where his shoulder met his neck. "you've still got pants on."

"so do you." he playfully snapped his hips up to meet my groin, and i whimpered unintentionally against his ear. he was so mean to me...in the best way. god, i would literally sell my kidneys to sit on his lap even one more time. have him tease my thighs or nip at my collarbones. i miss it all.

that's around the time when something sparked in my head. just a small thought that he clearly hadn't been pushing since we started this little relationship. as he pecked along my jaw and unclipped my shorts, i started to wonder when we'd have sex. so far, it had been kisses, hickeys, a little bit of using our hands...but nothing else.

i knew he'd done it before, so it was me he was protecting. but i wanted it. i wanted him to ask me, because i wasn't bold enough or brave enough to do so myself.

it was funny how innocent i was then. because once we'd started that journey into lust and pleasure, we found we couldn't stop. it became an addiction for us.

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