She dropped to the floor, throwing her crown and ripping the buttons apart from her dress.

There was a beige shift that she had on. Standing, She almost radiated pain. She looked thin but was fit and her frame was weak.
" Duchess please talk to me. Tell me what's happening." I asked, worried for her.

I knew she was the sort of woman to hold it all in until she either snapped or broke. And I knew her well enough to say without thought that she was breaking.

She kicked the dress over and sighed deeply. She undid her earrings and jewelry and dainty anklets. She took the pins out of her hair and tossed it all on top of her dress. I knocked on the door leading to her bedroom. There was no response for a minute. I looked back at Duchess, who kneeled on the carpet and didn't look well.

Finally the door opened and Kaden came in the room, hurried. He saw the dress than looked at Duchess, almost immediately at her side. He gently cupped her face in his hands, touching her delicately " Hey baby, what's wrong?" Her eyes met his but it was almost like a hole had opened up and swallowed the life from her eyes.

" Everyday I get out of bed and I shower. I put on Duchess' clothes and I drink from a large mammal so she can go without longer." I could see the confusion in Kaden's eyes " She holds herself up so high and she walks with this purpose. She was born to be royalty, whether she was from royalty or not. Duchess is an inspiration."

Tears welled in her eyes but she looked so slack that they just fell as soon as they came. " Every morning I wake up and I try to be her. But I don't see her anymore. I can't see Duchess anymore." She breathed, touching Kaden's hand. He encouraged her to keep going.

" My dad kept me instead of turning me away... But for all that he put me through I would've rather been an orphan." She cried. She almost looked crazy to the average person. But she couldn't have been more sane. She was hurt and couldn't hold it in anymore.

" Duchess wasn't even my given name! " She sobbed, standing and shaking visibly " But I try so hard to be like Duchess. I try to even outdo Duchess at her own craft but I-" I pained gasp came from her chest, that almost seemed like a reflex.

" I can't be her at all. I'm soft. I'm weaker and slower and dimmer. I'm an imposter, just a copy of a copy." She cried in his shoulder and looked so fragile, so hurt. The pressure had broken her so much. " Tristan, please excuse us." I nodded, walking out. I was so concerned and worried for her.

I made time to see Katherine this weekend but a lot needed to be done. There was a party tonight and someone had to die.
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The roof was slightly rough under me but I noted nothing of it. I lie on the roof, trying to relax as much as I could. Nothing was okay and it hurt. Everything was painful to do and to see. The moon was brilliant, covered in clouds but still there. It was almost 2 AM. I slipped down and caught my footing on my sill. I slipped back into my room to close my window and curtains.

My room was still white. I know I didn't want to settle in just yet but I had no choice. I didn't know a lot of things. My situation was rocky, I didnt know whether my journey would let me slide along some of the slopes or scrape me with its jagged edges.

I stepped out and listened closely. The last thing I want to do is walk in on my parents. Writing. I walked left to my mother's room and knocked on the door. " Come in." She whispered. I opened the door. So many books. She had bookshelves that reached the ceiling and a few tiny ones under her desk. She pushed back out of her chair and put down her glasses. Grabbing a rubber band she tied her hair back into a tight bun. " Mom... I need your advice." She immediately looked down. Almost like a submission of failure. She almost looked angry but she looked back at me plainly.
" Whatever it is, please let it be something I know." I shut the door " What should I do about Tristan?"

" I'm sorry. I don't have that much experience with relationships or anything, really. I kind of got with your father at 19 and when I turned 20, I couldn't see you much less anything. I'm sort of catching up on life and everything I failed to experience." She let out a sad sigh.

" Had I prepared to have you, I think I would've prepared with better answers for you. " She was almost 40, not looking a day past 20.

She turned back to the book she was reading at her desk " The worst part is that I don't even get a second chance... If you love him and he loves you, it should work out. But time and distance lower the chances of you and him actually getting together. That's if you aren't mates. If you are, that doesn't really apply. "

I accepted that. She was trying the best way she could, through science and mathematics woven in, but it was some help. She grew anxious when I neared her. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held my mom tightly. " I wished for a mom for forever. I don't care that you don't have the answer. I don't expect you to, I just care that you're there to listen and help me as best as you can."

She sighed " I wished for things too. I knew you needed me, but I wasn't stable. You smelled human no matter what your father said and I would've tore you apart if I was given the chance." She grabbed my hand and led me back to her desk. There was an atlas under her books and papers.  She sat down in her chair. I grabbed a stool and sat with her.
" I'll try my best to be here for you. I guess this sounds weird, but I was a librarian. I started out as an apprentice, really only shelving books and learning about the Dewey Decimal system. It was contradictory to my major as I first saw it, but books and reading along with mathematics and arithmetic were equally important. Were you any good at literature or math?" She asked, looking at me hopefully.

" I liked art more. English came pretty easy and so did math, but I really like art."

She examined an older book, with cracks and tears. It was an Art history book that she looked at with slight distaste. " Would you like to head to a museum this week? I went last week, and it was nice."  As good as that sounded, I still didn't want to go. She didn't push it.

I turned and silently left. We'd continue later, as I wasn't ready to talk about stepping out. But I felt an urge because I was hungry. A metallic scent filled the air downstairs. I quietly shut the door behind me and walked around the house. There was a man with gray-silver eyes and blood around his lips. A vampire no less. " What do you want?" He seethed, eyes narrowed at me in contempt.

" Nothing. You're really close so I could smell your catch, that's all." The coldness seized and he looked back at me with a foreigness, like I was different and he didn't understand what I was doing here. I stared back at him from the corner. " Okay. What brings you here of all places?"

I could scare him shitless and say I packed up and ran from Romania or I could tell a white lie." Died. Or at least the doctors thought for a while. Woke up in the morgue a vampire."

His eyes narrowed, shaking his head " But you don't look like them. The turned all share this timidness... But not you. Were there witches involved in your birth?" I nodded. He nodded and dropped the bloodless catch. A stiff deer.

He wiped the blood with his hand towel and looked back at me
" I guess that makes sense. Well, welcome. Enjoy it here while you stay."

" Hey..." I whispered to get his attention " Where can I get a drink... You know..."

He took his sweater off and threw it over his shoulder. It was messy and bloody. Had to be incinerated.
" There's a spot on the other side of town. There's a handful  in Manchester but that's a bit far. Try The Olley. " I didn't know what he meant but I nodded. I would know when the time came. I walked towards him, which I could tell he didn't like. " What's your name?"

His eyes searched me, almost as if I were crazy but he let it slide

" Brendan. You, Aris?" I looked on confused. He chuckled and sighed " You stink of aristocracy, dear."

After a moment of silence my tongue picked up speed
" Katherine." His face dropped almost like he knew that name
" ... Grimme? You best keep a low profile, there are still some among us who are mercenaries sent to kill any of the last living royal family members. Try going by a different name, dear princess."

I waved my hand in the air, no longer caring about the ordeal. I didn't feel whole anyways.