I drop to my knees, too scared to accept the truth awaits. I don't want to live without him. No, I can't. Every breath I take longs for him right now: his eyes to open, his voice to call my name just one more time, and his arms to hold me and never let go.

I need him. We need him. He promised her never to leave us. I let out a lip-quivering breath, my eyes heavy from the never-ending rain of tears. I look at the man I'm holding in my arms and my world seems to crumble at my feet. How can he not hear me?

I don't know what else to do. My nose flares as I try to touch all the bullet holes in his jacket but I stop mid-way. I pull back and I cry, feeling all sorts of pain I never knew existed. It's dark everywhere, all the light he brought into my life is gone like a whisper in the wind.

"I'm here, my love..." Leaning over him, I touch his face with both of my shaking, blood-stained hands. "We're here, Red, so get up now! It's over. It's all over." I press my forehead on his, and I don't know if it's his warm breath that I'm feeling or if it's everything I wish I could feel.

He just can't die and leave us!

He has to be alive.

"Let me..." I hear Bastien's voice close to me and I glance sharply at him.

"I swear I'll kill you if you lay your hands on him!" I snap in a deep throaty voice, and he winces back from either pain or my snarling eyes and deadly warning.

"Okay, I won't touch him but I need you to open his jacket," Bastien says gently, his eyes cautious toward me.

Even though I hate the sound of his voice, I pull back and do as he says. Sniffling, I pull down the zipper of Red's leather jacket, and it dawns on me that I haven't seen blood in those holes except his arm and face.

Oh, God! Now I know why. He's wearing that bulletproof vest inside—the ones I've only seen in action and military movies.

"Ahhh!" I gasp with some sort of relief as if everything is okay now.

Bastien nods. "He's a soldier. He knew what he was facing."

I laugh and cry at the same time, eyes back on my Red. "That means he... It means he..."

The man I thought had died suddenly coughs. Reflexively, I fall back and sit on my butt. He coughs again, then he opens his eyes before he calls my name as frantically as the last time as if he's just emerged from under we are the water.

"He's alive, yes," Bastien answers.

"Oh, my God." I hurl myself tossed Red and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

I cry over his thumping chest. I feel his heart beating erratically against my ear and inexplicable joy blossoms into my heart as if I'm in heaven.

"Hey..." Red calls, his arm wrapped around my back as I can't seem to let go of him.

I sit back, and he props himself up. He doesn't take his tired eyes off me and I sniff my tears away, unbelieving that he's here with me.

He looks around while muttering, "Patrick. Where—"

"Dead," I reply, and my hands begin to shake again.

Without another word, Red presses his lips on mine and takes me back into his arms. I stay there for a short, beautiful while until I see Kenna and some guy I don't know. A frown of confusion settles on my face, but I end up smiling the same way she does.

"Oh, Mamacita." She comes to me and nothing stops us from hugging each other like long-lost sisters. "I'm glad you're okay. It's all over now."

Yes. It's all over now.

It's been two hours since we left that godawful place. I'd rather my brain erase from my memory core. The ride has been bumpy, the snow falling heavily with the wind at each second that ticks. They say it's about to storm and the faster we drive back to the city the better.

None of it matters. The fact that my little bean is safe inside me, and the man I love is right beside me is worth every storm we've faced. Laying my head on his shoulder, I try to breathe again, to watch the twilight glowing in the sky as we slowly coast into civilization at the first light of the dawn.

"Y'all need a sleep," says the man with long hair whose attention on Kenna has been remarkable. He's the one driving. "I got an old friend with a condo downtown; If you don't mind, I'll let you crash there."

They call him Silver. I don't know much about him but Red seems to trust him.

"Thanks," Red replies, his hand interlocked with mine in the backseat of the car.

There's another car behind us. Bastien and five men are in it. He's the one who took out the bullet in Red's arm and attended to his wound using the medical supplies from the lab. He did the same to Kenna. In the end, many people risked their lives to save me and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

As for Bastien, I don't know what awaits him after losing the only man he considered his master. He served Patrick for almost fifteen years. With his family out of reach, I can't tell what must be on his mind at this moment. But I'm sure Red has a plan; I heard them talk about it.

The first thing I do is take a shower once we reach the condo. It's a luxurious home with enough rooms for everyone since Silver's boys are not with us. Warm water travels down my dirty skin before turning pink once they reach the white tiles beneath my bare feet, washing the blood away.

The horrid memories surge back achingly. How I fell in my office, how they kept drugging me in the plane, how Patrick tried to rape me, and the gunshots—lots of gunshots that almost took Red away—and then how I killed Patrick. All the stabbing, the blood, and the dread that followed.

My hands start to shake again. I draw them close to my face, and all I see is blood. Terror engulfs my head; my whole body tenses as I fight the tears welling in my eyes. I hear my heart pounding faster against my rib cage and panic sears through me the more I look at the hands that killed a person.

"Hey," Red calls gently from behind me. I don't know when he walked in. I gasp briskly for some air, breathing in and out in repetitive turns. "It's okay, baby. You're okay. I got you." He borrows my naked body in his arms and kisses my hair.

The shower sprinkler is still on but it's as if we need the water to feel alive. At least I do. Trembling, I hug Red tight but the tears won't stop.

"It's over, Mia," Red repeats like a mantra meant to save me from my demons. "I'm here, my love. I'm here, okay? We're both here."

"I killed him," I say in a panic. "I stabbed him to death, Red. I killed him."

"Shhh... I know, Mia," Red soothes me. "But you did what had to be done. It was the heat of the moment and that doesn't make you evil because you were afraid. We both were."

"No, Red, you don't understand," I tell him desperately. He pulls back to look at me, a frown of concern on his face. I wipe the water off my face and sniffle. Sighing, I explain, "I wanted to kill him for so long. In my head, I've killed him so many times and I knew it's what I wanted even before he shot you." The more I talk, the more my eyes produce stupid tears filled with dread. "I wanted to punish him for hurting me, for ruining my business, for trying to kill our baby... I just wanted to hurt him so badly, Red. And then" — I swallow a lump in my throat— "and then when I thought he killed you it was my last straw. I just... I just wanted to give him a painful death and that's exactly what I did."

My knees buckle but Red catches me deftly with his uninjured arm. I cling to him, my arms wrapped around his neck as warm water keeps regaling us with a soulful cadence as it slaps the tiles.

Red sighs heavily, and I can see the anguish in his darkened eyes when he says, "Well he ripped what he saw. I was going to kill him too and it's been on my head for longer than you can imagine. He was going to kill many people and God knows he may have succeeded with that so stop beating yourself for his death, Mia."

"But... but I see him each time I look at my hands. I feel him all over again and it's—"

"Hard. I know. You're not a killer, Mia—that's why. But you'll get through it, I promise," Red says, but I'm not sure I trust him. "Together. We'll start afresh somewhere new and none of this will be part of our lives."

"Yeah." I bob my head, only trying to believe him.

"Just.. think about our little bean," he goes on. Seeing my rather taken-aback reaction, he simply adds, "I know you call him that. Worry not, your secret is safe with him.

I choke with laughter, eyes on my stomach where Red's teasing ones have fallen to. "A fighter like his dad. Still holding on tight," I answer with joy inserted deep in my heart.

"See?" He puts his hand right there, his ember eyes back on mine. "You saved us both, Mia. You saved our baby and that's all there is to it."

"Yeah. Our baby." I nod swiftly, smiling back at him as I've finally found something to hold onto.

Equally naked under the rain of a shower, I stand up on my toes and press my lips hard on his. His hands travel from my ass to my back until he's holding me tighter than ever before.

"I love you," Red whispers.

"I know," I reply. "And I love you too, Rayden."

_________

A/N: And the Author is back. Is there any need of continuing with the story? Patrick is dead so... let's end the book, shall we?