(Nevada's POV)

I hate hospitals. The bright lights and gentle muttering, the brisk-paced nurses and the frowning doctors, the stomach-churning smell and the endless boxes of tissues. It's just so depressing, especially when you're sleep deprived and worried sick already.

In fact, this place has put me on the brink of a mental breakdown. Every single time I catch Martinus pacing around in the corner of my eye, I feel the hot tears swell behind my eyes again and it brings me even closer to the edge.

I sniff and rub the tears off my face, watching Martinus' face as he passes by me for the millionth time. I can see the fear and anxiousness in his downturned eyes and its almost like I'm reading the horrifying thoughts right from his mind. It's terrible.

Across the walkway, I can see Elaine's mother and younger sister are mumbling softly to each other, their faces are worried but only to an extent. Its kind of sickening, but who am I to judge.

All of the pain of this place is driving my weary brain crazy, so I bury my face in my hands and try to catch some rest, struggling to fight the millions of unfiltered questions and fears that float around my tired mind.

The next thing I know, I wake to hear a door swing open. I lift my face out of my hands to see that a nurse had come out of Elaine's room and was standing at the door.

I practically launched myself out of my seat and in a matter of moments, Martinus and I were standing in front of the woman frantically showering her with questions. She raised both of her hands and we snapped our mouths shut.

"Is there any immediate family here for Elaine Dugger?" She asked, searching the room behind us with a somewhat unemotional face.

"We're her family." someone said behind me. I turned to see her mother and sister standing behind us, their faces grim, but undoubtedly less desperate than ours'.

"I would like to speak to the immediate family, please." The nurse said, giving Martinus and I a slight glare.

I stepped back first, letting my aunt and cousin into the room to talk to the nurse. I stood back, right off of Martinus' shoulder and we both watched as the three ladies entered the room and shut the door in our faces.

I sighed, biting my lip to keep myself from crying and sending my gaze to the floor. In my peripheral vision, I saw Martinus' twin brother, Marcus, sitting two seats from where I had been earlier. I hadn't even realized he was there until now.

Marcus and I met eyes for a moment, then I turned to see Martinus still staring at the closed door. I didn't want to say anything, I didn't have the right too either. I was just Elaine's cousin, he was her boyfriend. I was thrust at her by blood, but she specifically chose him.

I turned and quietly ambled back to the row of chairs. Marcus lifted his eyes up to me and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Can I sit here?" I asked, pointing to the chair directly next to him. I could only imagine how tired and pitiful I looked, especially if my voice sounded as bad as it did.

"Of course," he said softly.

He watched me silently for a moment as I stared blankly at the stylish holes in my jeans before he turned back to his cell phone.

My aching head was getting more painful by the minute, so I slowly drew my knees up to my chest and laid my head on my legs. I drifted off into a nightmarish sleep.

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By the time I had woken up, it was 7:13 am precisely. I had been here for three hours, just waiting patiently. Waiting patiently with this unbearable worry and pain. I glanced around the waiting room to see that Marcus had gone, probably back home to sleep until news came.

Martinus was resting in a chair nearby and my aunt and cousin were nowhere to be found.

I stretched my sore muscles and let my eyes wander around the room, looking for something interesting or distracting. I noticed Martinus begin to stir and I turned to see if he would wake.

Sure enough, his eyes fluttered open, not because of me but because just at that moment Marcus came walking into the room with two bags from McDonald's and two bottles of soda.

"I brought breakfast," he said, giving us both a small smile.

I blinked a few times, trying to make my aching eyes stop hurting as I thought about how nice it was for him to do that. I gave him a little smile back as I stood up and followed him to where Martinus was sitting. Marcus sat down next to his brother and I settled down on the floor in front of them, watching as Marcus pulled the food out of the bags.

"I only could carry two drinks," Marcus said. "You two can have them."

"No, no!" I insisted, "Y'all can have them, I'll find a water fountain somewhere."

"We can share them," Martinus suggested.

I turned my eyes to Martinus and saw his once rich, vibrant eyes were now glazed and tired. The way his once sweet face was drained and looked so lost and done, it hit me right in the heart.

There was no way I was drinking one of those drinks, Marcus was too kind to get this food for us and Martinus looked worse then I felt. These two deserved them and I wouldn't dare commit such a crime just for some Coca-Cola.

"No way, you two drink them. I demand it," I said with a tiny grin, to show I wasn't kidding but I wasn't angry either.

"Okay," Marcus gave in.

Poor Martinus didn't even change his expression, he just obediently took the drink.

The three of us shared the food in silence and remained that way until the door quietly opened once more and Elaine's father came out of the room. He looked grim and very tired as he slowly made his way past us, not even giving us a second glance. The three of us watched him until he was out of sight.

"I didn't know he was here," I said.

"Yeah, he got here about an hour after you went to sleep," Marcus said. "We haven't got much news except that she's still unconscious and on life support."

I hadn't known that until now. I stopped chewing and swallowed hard, trying not to cry and keeping my eyes down where they couldn't see. I couldn't understand why I felt so deathly melancholy at such a small statement, but this sudden sting in my heart felt worse than I thought possible.

The door opened again and this time Elaine's sister was standing there, staring at us. I quickly handed Marcus the food off my lap and stood up. Martinus followed me.

"Any news?" I asked. "When can I see her? Is she okay?"

"Calm down," she said. "No change yet, she's still in critical condition."

We heard the nurse say from inside the room, "It's nine o'clock. She can have visitors now."

I felt my breath get caught in my throat.

"But only family members," Elaine's sister quickly said, staring straight at Martinus. "Sorry, it was a hard decision but it's a final one."

"What?" I hissed.

I turned and saw Martinus' face fall. Anger and heartbreak flashed across his face and suddenly all I wanted to do was punch something.

This wasn't fair. Not in the slightest.

"Why can't he-?"

She cut me off, "-because he can't. As her immediate family, we are allowed the choice and we chose: only family."

"But-but. . ." I couldn't finish, the sudden wave of injustice rendered me speechless.

The noise died down and all around suddenly became like stone. I decided to break the silence with an equally surprising decision.

"Then I won't go either." I finally chocked out.

Everyone looked shocked.

"Elaine would want me to stand by her friends, and if they don't get to go, then I won't either," I stated, not moving my stern eyes from my cousin.

"Nevada, no," Marcus said, stepping towards me.

"Elaine needs someone in there with her," Martinus mumbled. I looked up into his sad, tired eyes that were full of so much hurt. "She needs a friend, and you are her friend. Go for me."

I stared into his sweet brown eyes and saw the tears and sorrow. I stepped towards him and embraced him, my tears spilling onto my face as I sobbed out, "I knew Elaine made the right choice in keeping you around."

We just sat there for a bit, hugging each other and sharing our sorrow.

"I love my little cousin, Tinus, and because she chose you and you chose her and you love her enough to wait out here even if you don't get to go in, because of that I love you too. And you will always be like a cousin to me."

He pulled away and smiled at me through his tears, "Go to her now."

I nodded slightly and turned to push past my other cousin and enter the drab hospital room.

When my burning, tired blue eyes landed on my dear cousin's face, I almost screamed. I made my way to her side and gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head, letting my tears fall onto her messy hair.

She was covered in stitches and riddled with painful looking scratches and wounds. I was utterly horrified at the state she was in. I couldn't believe it. She didn't deserve it.

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The next days were hard ones and after the third day of sleeping in the waiting room, Marcus insisted that Martinus and I go get rooms in the nearby hotel and spend the night there. He promised us he'd stay the night this time and text us if there were any changes in her condition.

The next morning, after a good rest and a much needed hot shower, I headed back out to the hospital.

When I got there, Martinus was already there. So was Elaine's sister. They were both sitting in the waiting room, ignoring each other completely.

I headed right past my cousin to Martinus. I leaned over and gave him a hug, asking if there was any news.

He simply shook his head.

"You look a lot better after getting some rest," I said. "I'm glad Marcus made you, you needed it."

Martinus gave a small smile and sighed. He still looked exhausted.

"Speaking of Marcus, where is he?" I asked, looking around.

"He had some things he had to do this morning. He'll be back at lunch he said." Martinus replied.

I nodded and gave him a smile, "Hang in there. I'm gonna make sure everything's okay in the room."

I stood up and slowly cracked open the door, entering as quietly as possible.

What I heard sent my heart racing.

"The doctor says she's not going to get any better and we can't afford to pay the bills any longer!" Her dad was saying. "I think it's time to say goodbye."

"What if we just try to-"

"-You and I both know it's time."

"So it's final?" The nurse said. I didn't realize she was in here. She shouldn't have been, it wasn't right for her to hear all this personal battling. The battle for my cousin-no-my best friend's life. A battle I had no part in.

I felt hot tears burn my eyes for the first time this morning as my aunt softly whispered, "Yes, it's final."

"I'll go get the paperwork." The nurse said, turning around and almost colliding with me. "Oh, my!" She exclaimed, causing my aunt and uncle to turn around.

But I ran out of that room as fast as I could, slamming the door behind me. I practically collapsed into the chair next to Martinus and began to uncontrollably sob into my hands.

"What's wrong?" Martinus asked,

I watched through my tears as the nurse and my cousin's two parents left the room, heading towards the nurse's station to fill out the paperwork.

"Nevada? What's the matter?" Martinus asked again.

"They're taking her off life support!" I choked out, it was barely a whisper but by the way his face changed to an indescribable look of heartbreak, I could tell he heard me anyway.

I sniffed hard and tried to wipe away my flood of tears. I met his eyes, it was painful, but I kept my gaze.

"You need to go see her. I'll distract her sister, but you have to go fast." I whispered.

He watched as I stood up and shakily walked over to my cousin, beginning to talk to her about what her parents were doing. Martinus entered the room so quietly and quickly that no one even saw it except him and me.

After I finished telling my cousin, she decided to go and be with Elaine for a long as possible before she passed away. But when she went to open the door, it wouldn't budge. She immediately glanced around the room and found that Martinus was no longer there. She rushed to the nurses' station to try to get help.

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(No one's pov)

After barricading the door with anything he could find, Martinus slowly made his way over to Elaine's side. For the first time since the devastating car crash, he looked at her wounded, scarred face. He knew it wouldn't take long for them to find out what he'd done and break through the door so he sat down on the edge of her bed and brushed her hair out of her face, leaning over and giving her a kiss on her forehead.

With tears in his eyes and bitter taste in his mouth, he began to sing softly to her. He took her hand and looked at her, his eyes filled with sorrow but also such wonder and joy to be with her once more.

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(Nevada's pov)

I stood shifting my weight and watching the hospital staff try to break through the door. I wanted so bad to stop them, to do absolutely anything to hinder them. Because if nothing else, I wanted to give Martinus more time with her. But Marcus wouldn't let me.

"How could this have happened?" my aunt asked, shaking her head. "I thought you were watching," she said to my cousin as we all stood, watching the door intently.

"I was watching, but Nevada started talking to me and-" my cousin stopped short and a look of realization came over her. She turned to me with fire in her eyes. "You distracted me! You did it on purpose!"

She advanced toward me, towering over me like she was about to beat me to the ground. She clenched her fist and opened her mouth to yell at me as I winced and began to step backward, trying to escape. Marcus stepped between the two of us, and I cowered behind him.

I waited until my cousin retreated to step out from behind Marcus. Suddenly, there was an earsplitting noise. Everyone looked towards the door and saw that it had been removed. Doctors and nurses began pushing through the barricade of objects and everyone gravitated towards the door. I quickly followed my family members into the room and watched as two men yanked Martinus off of the bed and began to pull him away, with no resistance from him.

"We're ready now," my cousin said, looking at the doctors then sending a quick glance to Elaine.

"Please don't do this!" I cried out desperately, my chest rising and falling as my breath got heavier.

"Do we need to remove her, too?" a man asked my aunt.

"No! Let us stay, please!" I frantically screamed. "Please!"

"Let them both stay," my aunt gave in, nodding. I could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes. 

I watched Martinus' face as the two men released him, the tenseness and anger radiated off of him like heat off the sun, and I was worried about what he might do.

"You can go ahead, doctor," Elaine's father said.

I felt my heart drop into darkness all the sudden and I felt like I was dead myself. I watched as the doctor slowly made his way to the machine. I saw Marcus grabbing his brother just in time to catch him from tackling the doctor. Martinus struggled as hard as he could, fighting his brother's strength to get to Elaine.

"No! Please!" I called out, launching myself forward.

I felt someone grab my arm as I pushed to get away from them.

"No!" I heard Martinus' cry echo through the room as the doctor reached out to pull the plug on my cousin's life.

"God! No, please! God, please!" I screamed, resisting the person holding me back. I felt so helpless as I watched the screen's mountain-like bumps become smaller. Some overwhelming feeling washed over me like a river of poison.

Martinus continued to call 'no' over and over again as I sank to my knees, sobbing so hard my gut began to ache and my eyes burned like fire.

Everything went silent except for a high pitched beeping noise that echoed throughout the room.

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(Elaine's POV)

After the blinding headlight, there was absolutely nothing. By now I was sure that I had been floating in this cold, eternal shadowland for months upon months. It was lonely and silent. There was no life and no feeling, no color and no sound. It was horrifying and I just wanted so badly for it to end. 

Then, one day, the dark, black world was opened and a soft, white light filtered into the horrid darkness. At first, I panicked, but then I heard a gentle voice calling out from the light. It was a familiar, old voice that caused a flurry of happy memories to flood my once blank mind. I saw a strong hand emerge from the gentle, warm light and the voice called my name in such a sweet tone, especially sweet to one who had been floating in endless silence. 

"Elaine!" the voice simply said. I recognized my grandfather as his face took form in the light, standing with his hand reached out, beckoning me to join him. I reached my hand out to him, ready to leave the gloomy shadows and bathe in pure light. 

Then I heard another voice.

"No!" 

It was harsh, loud and laced with anger and terror. It filled the endless darkness with a deafening echo that caused my wonderful memories to scramble like papers in the wind. 

The two voice held very different feelings, both important and both an option. The terror-filled call sent a shiver up my spine but also gave a deeper hue to the shadows surrounding me, like if I were to chose the call, it would show me the deepest parts of this dark place and send my heart to places unknown by this light. 

The gentle beckoning, however, sent a wave of warmth over my heart. It would send me down a path where I would always be content and would always feel loved and welcomed. Where I could never change and always have rest and peace. 

"Elaine!" the louder voice called again, I could hear the tears in the single word.

I wasn't sure. They both felt right, but they both felt wrong too. I wanted peace and rest but I suddenly wanted to know where all these shadows lead. 

I had to choose. But how?

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(Nevada's POV)

It was over. She was gone and I didn't save her. I began to scream at myself in my mind. I blamed myself. I blamed God. I even blamed Elaine. Why did this happen? Why couldn't we all just have a happy ending?

I pondered this, feeling the cold, tile floor on my arm as I collapsed to the ground completely. I heard Martinus' desperate voice call her name over and over again, I heard the nurses mumble, and I heard what sounded like handcuffs being clicked on someone's wrists, but I was only hearing, not truly listening. 

Until a doctor called out, "What the-?"

Slowly, a gentle beeping sound began to fill the now silent room. It grew faster and stronger until I heard someone gasp out of shock. 

I forced my muscles to pull myself off the solid ground and I lifted my eyes to the monitor. Sure enough, those little green mountains where once more rising and falling to a constant beeping noise. 

I was confused at first, then I turned to denying it and figured I was just hallucinating. Until I saw Elaine bolt upright, her confused eyes scanning the room.

"Elaine!" Martinus called. I noticed he pulled toward the bed, but couldn't reach it because he was in handcuffs. I figured they were taking him to security.

"Tinus?" Elaine's trembling voice asked, her cinnamon-brown eyes wide open and filled with so many mixed emotions that I couldn't read her thoughts.

I was stunned into silence as I watched her parents signal for Martinus to be released. He slowly made his way to her bedside and sat on the edge. Elaine looked down at all the chords and tubes attached to her and she looked mortified. 

"What happened?" she wondered, her voice sounding frightened and small in this huge room filled with angry and crying people.

"Shh," Martinus said, gently wrapping his arms around Elaine and holding her close.

She rested her head against his chest as he held her tight. I saw the tears fall down Martinus' cheeks as he smiled the most thankful smile I had ever seen in my entire life. I barely noticed as most of the people in the room filed out and eventually just Martinus, Elaine's sister and myself were left standing in the quiet hospital room.

I let a grin cross my face and a joyful flood of tears fill my eyes as I heard Martinus whisper to Elaine,  "Just listen to my heartbeat."

---- Author's Note ----
WHEW! That was a lot of freaking words y'all! I worked super hard on this, so please leave a like!

This story takes place in an AU (alternate universe) where Elaine gets in a horrible crash and I am somehow her cousin?? Idk just roll with it lol 😂

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Love y'all! 💚😘❤🔥