Tagged by Dragons_Rose

This challenge was started by d_s_t_e and the following was copied from their challenge:

This tag challenge was created to talk about something very important and very sensitive. Reading it might make you uncomfortable, and, if you are sensitive to certain triggers, it might make you more than just uncomfortable, but it is also crucially important for you to read this if you are uninformed about what sexual harassment is or what to do when it happens, and it is also crucially important for you to pass this on if any of your Wattpad followers are uninformed.

If you are one of the people who are sensitive to this trigger and you are still reading, I understand if you would like to stop. If you choose to continue anyway, I would like to deeply thank you for helping us to spread awareness to others.

For everyone else: I sincerely hope you don't stop reading this chapter just because it's unpleasant to think about. It's because it's a difficult topic that it is so important for us to be taking this effort. By reading this and passing it on, you might end up making a world of difference in your life and in the lives of others.

I'm sure you've all heard of sexual harassment, but there can be a lot of confusion and misinformation about what actually "counts" as sexual harassment. A person who is sexually harassing others might swear up and down that he or she was only joking, that she or he thought that the other person really wanted what was being done, or that what he or she did was perfectly normal and acceptable. A person who is sexually harassing someone will tend to do everything in her or his power to continue controlling the victim, including persuading him or her that what is being done to her or him isn't sexual harassment at all. Such a person will also tend to do everything in his or her power to convince other people that there is nothing wrong with what is being done. And sometimes these people can be so good at manipulation that witnesses, bystanders, and even the victims will believe these lies.

That's why it's important to know exactly what sexual harassment is and to know it so well that you will never allow yourself to be manipulated into thinking otherwise. Harassment is any kind of behavior that disturbs or upsets another person. It's characteristically repetitive, meaning that the behavior happens over and over again. Sexual harassment is any behavior of a sexual or romantic nature that disturbs or upsets another person.

Now, the most important part of that explanation is this: "disturbs or upsets another person". Sexual harassment is not defined according to what the behavior is. You can't look up some list that will tell you what specific actions count and what do not. Nor can you look up a list of what words or gestures count and what do not. It counts if it disturbs or upsets a victim. The person who gets to decide when it counts as sexual harassment isn't the person who did it. It isn't any person who witnessed it or heard about it and wants to give an opinion. The only person who gets to say whether it counts as sexual harassment is the person who suffered because of it. If it is making the victim uncomfortable, it counts.

That being said, we can give some general examples of what sexual harassment might look like on a site like Wattpad. First of all, sexual harassment can occur without any actual sex being involved. It might be the case that a person is sending messages that repeatedly ask the victim to give up his or her address so that they can meet there and have sex. It might be the case that all of the interactions are online and the person is pressuring the victim to send nude photos or to engage in sexual roleplaying.

It might not even be as closely linked to sex as that. The word "sexual" can also refer to things that most of us would commonly refer to as "romantic". It can be sexual harassment if the victim is being pressured into simply going on a date or returning feelings of affection. Sexual harassment might start out looking just like an innocent confession of romantic interest where the person being confessed to does not return the interest. It might not become a problem until the victim begins to feel uncomfortable or upset because he or she has already told the other person that she or he is not interested and still that person continues to send messages asking the victim to reconsider or trying to pressure the victim into saying something romantic in return or agreeing to start dating. It can even count if the person doesn't seem to be asking for anything but is still sending romantic messages after the victim has asked for it to stop. If the person is saying or doing anything after the victim has said that it upsets him or her, it is definitely harassment.

What do you do if you find that you're being harassed online? If a person has done something that she or he might not realize made you upset or uncomfortable (especially if it only happened once), start by speaking up. You need to clearly tell the person how it made you feel and ask for it to never happen again. If this is enough to make the person apologize and he or she really doesn't do anything like what happened ever again, then you can feel good about maybe having put a stop to things before they even turned into harassment.

If, on the other hand, the person continues even after you've spoken up, it's time to start protecting yourself. If the person is sending you messages on Wattpad, you can block him or her by going to her or his profile, clicking or tapping on the three dots next to "message", and selecting "Mute". For more information on what this means, I will leave a link in the comments.

You should also think about protecting other people so that they don't become victims of the same behavior. You can find the option to report someone right underneath the mute option. Again, I will leave a link in the comments.

It is very important for you to do everything you can to protect yourself from a person who is sexually harassing you. Even if the person is or was your friend, it is never acceptable to allow sexual harassment to continue. It will only cause you more suffering while encouraging the person who is causing the suffering to continue hurting you. It might make him or her believe that what she or he is doing isn't all that bad or even that it isn't wrong at all. At the very least, it will show him or her that nothing bad will happen if she or he continues doing it (because he or she obviously doesn't care about your suffering if it's still going on after you've been clear about it), so why would she or he ever stop?

It's often extremely difficult for the victims of sexual harassment to talk about what happened, but it can often be a very good thing to do if it helps you or anyone else. If the person who was harassing you keeps popping back up with different accounts or is communicating outside of Wattpad with other people that you know, you might be able to save someone else from becoming a victim.

If you're a witness to sexual harassment online or if a person being harassed has told you about what is happening, it is very important for you to offer support to the victim in whatever way you can. If you witnessed sexual harassment happening, you should report the person. If a victim is telling you about what happened, you should encourage her or him to report it and take every other action described above. You should not spread around the story to anybody else without permission from the victim. As I mentioned, it can be extremely difficult for the victim to talk about what happened, and putting the story out in the open can actually cause more pain. Don't speak for the victim, encourage him or her to speak for her or himself. The only exception to this is if you happen to be in a position where it is your responsibility to take action in order to protect other people. If the harasser is part of a group account on Wattpad, for example, you might have to report the problem to the leader(s) of the account so that appropriate action can be taken to protect everyone else in the group. Another example would be if you know someone who might be at risk and you want to warn her or him before anything bad happens. Even if you do this, though, you should only give as much information and proof as is absolutely needed to protect people, and you should talk to as few people as possible unless you have permission from the victim.  

~The rest is written by me 'bout real life events~

So others who have done this have included experiences with sexual harassment, whether they were a victim or a spectator. As far as I remember/know, no one I know has been sexually harassed. Unfortunately, I was. It could have been worse, and I know many out there have had it worse, but it's still harassment/assault and I wanna educate those who have no idea what it might look like. 

My first memory of being uncomfortable with my body was back in 6th or 7th grade. I was never interested in my looks but this is probably when I started hating my body. I'm short and skinny, that doesn't bother me, but I was "blessed" with...large breasts. Some girls who have smaller breasts are apparently "jealous" but, honestly, they're the worst (boobs I mean, not the girls). I don't remember my size in middle school, but I don't think I've ever owned bras in a size B. And if I had size C bras at any point in my life, I haven't had them for long. 

Some time at lunch, while I was sitting at the end of the long tables with friends, one guy walks up to me. I didn't know him well, but he was overall a nice kid. Anyways, he comes over to us and says to me, "Hey, those boys over there have been talking about how large...your boobs are...I've been trying to get them to stop but..." and then I was instantly uncomfortable. It's not like I could control the size of them. This is fucking MIDDLE SCHOOL, half of those boys probably didn't even hit puberty. Yet they still felt the need to whisper among themselves the size of my breasts. 

I did not go to anyone except my mother, and she didn't help. She tried, I think, I don't know. I don't want to remember any of the bad things she told me since she is no longer with me, so the memories I have with her are very limited, but I remember her saying, "If they are boys, then they are admiring you. If they are girls, then they are jealous." So instead of accepting my body, I wore baggy hoodies even when I was dying from the heat. 

Eventually I got over that. Nothing else happened to my memory until sophomore year of high school. There was this kid, I'll name him Asshole. He seemed fine at first. A bit weird, but whatever. A few months later, he decided it would be okay to touch me. He would poke my arm, and I'd be fine with it, whatever, its just my arm. 

Then it escalated. He would poke my sides and stomach. That's a tad more personal so I kept telling him to cut it out. He never did. It got to the point where he would wrap his arms around me and touch my sides and even my boobs. I kept yelling at him to stop stop stop stop STOP and he never did. Until one day where I was talking to another friend at lunch and Asshole pokes my boob. I unfortunately don't remember anything I said, but as most of you know, I was a very snappy then. So I slammed my hands down on the table, stood up, and towered over this kid who is still sitting down. I started screaming at him so much to the point where he put his hands up and he was muttering and stuttering apologies, and I got the attention of maybe half the cafeteria. And the cafeteria was...large. Like auditorium sized (not quite that big but pretty close). After this I refused to let anyone touch me unless if you were a very close friend. 

He didn't fuck with me until TWO FUCKING YEARS LATER. 

I just so happened to have Japanese with him. One day Sensei was out and we had a substitute who did not give a shit about anything we did. I think we were all just gathered around the one computer in the room watching Youtube videos (by all I mean like...4 people. There weren't many of us). I have no idea what happened, but I assure you I refused to speak to Asshole at all. So for some reason while he continues to scoot his chair (which has wheels) closer to me (who is standing), I tell him to fuck off. At some point, my dumb decision making decides that since he is on wheels, I can push him away. It worked until I went to leave and he grabbed my upper arm with one hand, and my hand with the other. I tell him to let go, and he keeps saying no. I started panicking at one point and tried pulling my arm away, but hes gripping on and won't let go until someone else pulls him away. 

And from this point on I refuse to be touched at all, by anyone, and if I'm grabbed in any way, I immediately feel anxiety building up. "But it couldn't have been that bad right?" 

I had large bruises all over my upper arm and my hand. I was wearing a ring on that hand which caught onto my skin and caused a cut almost completely around my finger. And my whole shoulder and arm was in pain constantly. 

At this point I finally decide to go to the school. And they did nothing. The vice principal called me to her office and told me "Well...that's how he is...I'll give him a warning okay?" Like...? No??? That's not okay?! I had physical proof, and witnesses from class who said they would gladly stand up for me. And she never called any of them to the office. The one who did the most was my Sensei who demanded Asshole stay far away from me and if he saw him anywhere near me he would tell the guy who ran the JROTC to ruin his good standing so far. 

Also, that pain in my shoulder and arm? Turns out my shoulder was dislocated. A week later I stretched some way and felt it click back into place, and I nearly screamed from the shooting pain down my arm and side. 

BuT ThAtS jUSt hOW hE Is

Oof, also theres this one kid I know now that constantly talks to me about how large my boobs are and when I wear a binder he pokes my chest and always draws me as a furry with large bewbs and he forces me into hugs. I hate him. 

So basically report this shit always or else assholes will get away with it and ruin other peoples day/life.

I tag anyone reading this! Or anyone who wants to! I don't really talk to anyone on here!!!!