After Yuri arrives in the cafeteria of his university with a poorly concealed hickey on his shoulder and a joke is made about him sleeping his way through the alphabet, he and his friend group decide to, oh I don't know, sleep through the alphabet. Chaos, two marriage proposals, and one baby ensue.
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Or: Yuri sleeps his way through the alphabet and gets pregnant. And, also, kinda-maybe-might gain a life partner in the process?

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This was inspired by a friend of mine who told me, today when we saw each other for the first time in so fucking long, the story they heard somewhere of a sorority sleeping their way through the alphabet and only stopping when someone got pregnant.

My exact reaction: Well... "O" is pretty far down the list...

My other friend, has watched YOI because I forced her to: NO. SOPHIE, NO!

The friend who told me the story: What? What are you talking about? WHAT?!

So, yeah, long story and an hour of writing later, this happened. I had to write it, okay? I just had to! xD

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It started with a ridiculous -- and it was truly ridiculous -- comment from Victor. Something stupid, some laughable, ludicrous comment about how, by now, after six years at university (Yuri was going for his master's-- sue him), he must have slept his way through the entire alphabet.

It was total exaggeration, unabashed hyperbole, and it was only remarked upon at all because Yuri had just walked into the cafeteria with a hickey whose foundation covering had worn off to the wolf whistles of the blundering seals he called friends. (Well, some of them, at least.)

So, naturally, a few rapid-fire, let's-tease-Yuri-until-he-kills-himself-and-us comments and six far too caffeinated students ended that day with a conviction to sleep, as fast as they could, through the alphabet. The prize for the winner, it seemed, was a banana and a crude, Japanese-import lollipop that Katsudon swore by. Honestly, Yuri had done stupider things for less.

In all, the contest lasted about two months, ending when the unthinkable happened. No one died; no one went home with an ax murderer or only realized someone's kink was actually necrophilia when they'd said it was somnophilia far too late in the game, but, honestly, the next worst thing happened. Victor and Katsudon got engaged.

Technically, that happened only one month in, but, indirectly, it led to the contest-ending event. The pair had been participating in the stupid challenge, temporarily putting aside their monogamous ideals in favor of seeing who could outdo the other in well-intentioned sluttiness, but, when Victor's E wouldn't accept no for an answer at a frat party a week after their affair and Katsudon decked him before Phichit could stop him, proposals had been said on the spot. Needless to say, E fucked the hell off, after that.

No, the proposal only lead to the catastrophic end-result of the stupid, less-than-thought-through challenge.

Yuri had just finished with N when it happened, walking in on the proposal just as the teeth went flying, blood spraying the already defiled common-room carpet and the unfortunate E stumbling away as Victor knelt before his lover, Katsudon's bruised hand in his. The disgust that rose within him on the sappy sight (and he would never admit that he was a bit envious, because even though he'd spent six years at the same university, he'd never been able to sustain more than a fling-- and not for lack of trying) propelled him to finish off the rest of the alphabet, not just before the other competitors could, but before the end of the night. Of course, technically, that was impossible (Yuri was only at N, after all), but dammit if Yuri wasn't going to try.

Yuri pushed through the throngs of varyingly drunk party-goers, avoiding the ones he deemed too far past his (admittedly formidable) level of inebriation to be moral, demanding names from viable options and pushing past when they began with anything other than "O". After a few minutes, though, he found one, an O who seemed far less drunk than Yuri, and, despite his lack of perceivable facial expression, readily up for the task of fucking Yuri senseless.

Yuri awoke the next morning, headache-laden and thoroughly naked in monochrome sheets, a fucking beautiful specimen of a man next to him, and was relatively okay with the fact he'd ended the night on O instead of Z.

The next few weeks were fun; Yuri continued with the challenge even though he continued seeing Otabek (the O!) who didn't mind when informed about it, and even directed him to an S (Seung-Gil, even less expressive than his friend but more than making up for it in bed) once Yuri reached the letter. After a while, though, Yuri's escapades began to slow down, contented enough by his progress ahead of the other contestants (Chris, the highest behind Yuri, was only at R while Yuri rested happily at W (Walter)) to take a bit of a break and let himself spend his nights with Otabek, not exactly 'in', but ordering takeout and relaxing on the couch, a movie on and thoroughly ignored in the background. The reason for Yuri's alphabetical hiatus (beyond that that he wanted to see (and fuck) Otabek more, now, than his potential X candidate) laid in his cold. Or, at least, he thought it was a cold.

After two weeks of far too much puking, a small, pastel-colored box was shoved into Yuri's hand. After two minutes of nail-biting and anxiety-induced (anxiety-induced, dammit!!) nausea, the stick housed within the pastel box turned pink. After another two weeks of stress, breakdowns, and frantic calculation (it could be anyone from L-S, according to the approximate date given by the OB Yuri had been forced by Katsudon to see), Yuri made a decision about what to do with the fucking hitchhiking parasite leeching off his innards.

Hands shaking, head hung, Yuri sat down in the living room of his tiny, off-campus apartment, his boyfriend (boyfriend! Yuri had finally been able to sustain a relationship, and this was how it would end!) across from him, and told him that he was pregnant. And that he was keeping it.

It was only two months until Yuri graduated, and he already had a job lined up at a publishing house, starting immediately, for after; and, based on his savings, his expenditures, his income, and his highly-developed ability to skimp and bargain shop, Yuri could make it work. Still. Yuri had been looking forward to furthering his relationship with Otabek (and it had been optimistic to assume they'd still be together even before all of this) throughout all that, and, even though Yuri knew this baby was what he wanted, the thought that he'd lose the person who'd grown to be his best friend, in the process, made his stomach hurt.

It was silent for a few seconds, Otabek's normally inexpressive face wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Then, a nod, a firming of the lips.

"Okay," Otabek said, resolute, and took Yuri's hands in his. "This," he let out a breath, shaking his head slightly, "is a lot-- really soon, too. But." He nodded again, reaffirming something to himself. "But I really like you, and, if this is what you want, I do, too."

Yuri gawped at him. His face had been red coming into this, flushed and blotchy with his eyes tearstained, entirely ready to be called a whore and left in an instant, even if neither event seemed like something Otabek would do. This-- This was a wholly unexpected reaction. Yuri found himself at a loss.

"It might not be yours," Yuri said, because he couldn't find anything else to say, "it could be anyone from L to S, according to the doctor I saw, and the timeline." He felt his face flush, again, and returned to examining his knees in great detail. The black fabric of his leggings was thin, and he could feel the heat of his and Otabek's hands resting atop them permeating through the material, warming his skin in the chill of the apartment.

A breath sucked in. Yuri pursed his lips. He was prepared for this, the inevitable disgust and judgment.

"I know." And, again, Yuri was left flabbergasted by the sure, steadfast tone leveled back at him. Yuri's head snapped up, hardly daring to believe in the resolution he saw on the face of the man across from him. "But," Otabek continued, squeezing Yuri's hands, dwarfed as they were in his large ones, "it's yours, and that's the next best thing. I know this is huge, and scary, and a big step, but if you want me, Yuri, you've got me."

And Yuri broke down crying. Arms encircled him and his hair was stroked, back rubbed and entire being comforted as he sobbed his relief into his boyfriend's (and he was still his boyfriend!) chest.

He honestly couldn't believe it -- wouldn't believe it, for several weeks, until his baby bump began to show and Yuri got to see the wonder and excitement in Otabek's eyes, settling, if not taming, his fears -- but, with Otabek by his side, if only for a while, even if he left, in the long run, everything felt so much easier, relief burrowing into and making a home within Yuri's core.

Otabek remained for Yuri's graduation, grinning and clapping from the audience as Yuri marched across the stage. He remained for his own graduation (for his Ph.D., the overachieving bastard), and a photo was taken that day of them on the university's lawn, mid-kiss, Otabek's palm resting fondly on Yuri's by then significantly rounded abdomen. It was framed, hanging on the wall of the apartment whose lease they entered into together as Yuri's eighth month rolled around, and Yuri took great delight in putting it up as Otabek and their friends carried box after box up the stairs, barring Yuri from lifting anything heavier than a pillow.

Otabek remained when the baby entered the world, screaming and yowling almost as much as Yuri had done in the hours preceding the event, Otabek by his side throughout the whole thing. He remained, too, as Evgeni, as the child was named, took his first steps, and filmed, hands shaking with adrenaline, as Evgeni face planted in Yuri's lap, cooing and celebrating perhaps more so than Yuri did at the child's success.

Otabek remained for Evgeni's first year of life, and, when he knelt before Yuri in the wake of the party celebrating their child's birthday, it became, unequivocally, irrevocably, true, that he would continue to remain, until the day he died.

When their son was seven, their daughter 34 weeks old and delighting in kicking the shit out of Yuri's innards, and the former asked, for a project for his first-grade class, how they got together, Yuri and Otabek shared a conspiratorial smile, and embarked on the (heavily abridged) tale of the Magic Letter "O."

**A/N**

I hope you enjoyed this... chaotic dumpster fire! Lol. (Also, just to clarify, the part about necrophilia is not meant to kink shame! All kinks are valid and accepted, here! ♥)

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