I wasn't ready for this.
I wasn't ready for my heart to drop.
The way that it did.
I can't deny. I can't deny.
I feel it in every kiss.
It's slowly taking over every thought. 
Duncan Laurence.

Her eyes slitting through me with so much anger. I've never seen such bitterness, not even when I stare into my own. I have demons to battle, but I haven't got a split personality. She's the one who does this to me.

I know her for four days and in those four days, she managed to sink her claws into me without her realizing it. Somehow she makes me want to be honest with her, tear down the walls I have build and take down the mask that is hiding my true colors. And it's tearing me apart. I'm playing with a fire which I can't control and I'm willing to be burned down to ashes, convinced that she doesn't give a fuck about it.

Her mouth is spitting fire at me, letting me rigorously understand that I screwed up. Real bad. "Fuck off Luke!" She growls again, shoving her tattoed hands against my chest with more force than logical with her frame.

I throw my hands up in the air and step back, "Fine! Have it your way, Dee."

An aspirated sigh leaves her lips when I twist around compelling me to go back and slam my mouth back onto hers.

I don't, I can't. We humans are not made for relationships. It's nothing but a forced facade. So I keep walking away from her, crushing the bed of flowers under my feet along with the ache I feel inside me.

I want to glance over my shoulder to see her, hoping she wishes me to come back. But I force myself to stare straight ahead, reminding myself that I can't. I can't let my guard down again. She told me to never find my way back to her. She asks and I deliver. It's that simple, isn't it?

I pick up my steps until I reach my car and quickly bring the engine to life leaving a curtain of dust behind me from spinning the tires to get away from her.

I have to turn down the volume of my music to be able to concentrate on the road with the sudden pain banging against my temples. Each beat my heart makes, pumping the blood circling through my veins, increases the tension inside my body, my skull. My brain can't equate it and I can't. No, I won't face it. She will not preoccupy one more second of my thoughts.

I dig my phone with trouble out my tight jean pocket and press the first contact in my history list. She picks up after the second ring as I expected. "Luke!? Where did you go? You le.."

"Are you in your dorm?" I interrupted her.

"Yeah, I am. Not thanks to you though."

"Good, send your roommate away," I demand and disconnect the call without waiting for her reply, stepping on the gas before I change my mind and turn back around.

I fling Roxy's door open and bark at her roommate, sitting at her desk. "Get out, now!" Wasn't I clear enough over the phone? She scurries away in a hurry, dropping the book she was reading.

Roxy jumps up from her bed and curses "Jesus! Luke, what is wrong with you!"

Instead of answering, I close our proximity and kiss her violently while stripping her dress off and leaving her in her panties.

Apparently, it's no bra day, today.

My mouth lashes around her nipple, biting the soft flesh of her huge rack and feel it harden against my tongue. She reacts with a deep moan, rubbing her palm over my crotch and grabbing the back of my shirt. I pick her up by her buttocks, done with my fake interest in her and fling her back onto her bed.

She leans up on her elbows with a satisfied smirk on her face and watches me when I pull my shirt off my back at the same time I kick my Allstars off and push my jeans with my briefs down my legs.

"You always come back to me Luke, admit that you like me." She purrs, touching herself.

You wish!

I take a condom out my wallet and put it on, ordering Roxy to take her panties off and to sit on her knees. She obeys without any hesitation and pushes her butt up when I sit behind her. My hand wraps around her long green hair, pulling it hard while I bury myself inside her.

Her head jerks backward with the force I use, whimpering, "Luke, not so rough!"

I pull it harder, knowing she actually likes it and keeps pumping like a madman. Digging my other hand in the flesh of her hip for grip, I take my frustration out on her. She fists her sheets, moaning loudly, begging me to go faster.

A growl rumbles up my throat, filling the condom around me. I dispose it in the litterbox and quickly put my clothes back on with Roxy sprawled out on the bed in a panting daze.

She sits herself up and asks, "You're already going?" Her words laced with irritation.

"Yeah, I came for an easy fuck and that's what I got."

"What!?" She barks, fury edges into her face. "You're unbelievable Luke! You could at least act like you care about me."

"Yes, I could. But I won't. Deal with it, Roxy!"

Her face contracts, pulling her knees up to cover herself a bit. "That's all I am for you, huh? An easy way to get laid."

"Yes. I made it clear from the start that we are fuck buddies and nothing else Roxy!" Goddammit. This was a mistake, a mistake I keep repeating.

I close the door leaving a pouting Roxy behind it.  She knew from the start. No feelings, nothing. Only uncomplicated sex.

I feel even worse than before going to Roxy. I'm more on edge, my muscles tight as a robe and my mind cloudy. What are you doing to me Dee! I grunt, pulling the tie from my hair and ruffling it up with both hands, slumping against the back of my sofa. Why does it feel like I'm cheating on her?

It's after midnight when I eventually drag myself into the shower to rinse the smell from Roxy's perfume off my body. The smell makes me sick to the stomach. My own actions make me sick. A deep sigh escapes from my lips, knowing he would be so disappointed seeing me behave like this. I was his hero. Now, I'm a nothing. Certainly not a hero.

I'm sorry buddy, so sorry.

*

The corridors are crowded like always. Students rushing to their next lectures on the other side of this building. Whoever made this schedule should start over in kindergarten. It's fucking retarded to think I could run from here to the next within fifteen minutes. And I'm not making any attempt to bother either. Professor Gladdish can suck my cock.

As expected, the door is already closed when I reach the auditory. I barge in without second thoughts and ignore the greasy-haired dummy standing in front of his desk barking at me. Harlow waves at me at the back of the space, pointing at the free spot next to her.

"What did I miss?" I ask, making myself as comfortable as possible on this plastic ball killer.

"Another assignment." She sighs, "He wants us to team up and go all psychological on each other. It can be about anything, as long as it affected us deeply."

Hell, that's not going to happen!

"I know." She grumbles, taking in my frown." It's not his business if I cried my eyeballs out or not when I flushed my beloved Molly through the toilet."

"What?" I asked confused.

"My goldfish, Molly." A slight grin pulling up the edges of her mouth.

She flicks her hair over her shoulder and mutters, "tough crowd" at her failed attempt to lighten my mood.

"So anyway's. Wanna team up?" Asking it carefully, looking straight ahead.

"No," I answer absent-minded. I have another person in mind, searching for that hideous black beanie without finding it. "Isn't Dee suppose to be in this lecture?" Asking and scanning the heads one more time.

"Yeah, she is. I haven't seen her since Tuesday when she rushed out, though. We were supposed to meet up yesterday, but she never showed up nor did she attend the courses we have together. Her red piece of crap hasn't been in the parking lot of our dorm either. She vanished." Shrugging her shoulders like it's nothing important.

She vanished?

She didn't come back after I left her? "Fucking hell Harlow! Why didn't you tell me?" I yell, making her flinch and turn all heads our way.

"Why in the world would I? And since when do you care about Dee?" She asks confused.

"I don't!"

She lowers her stare, not sure how to react with my outburst and slumps in her chair, mumbling, "Okay?"

*

I gasp for air and push the clammy sheets from my sweaty bare chest, kicking them further away with my feet. For the first time I moved into this apartment I wish I wasn't alone.

His big blue eyes hunt me throughout my every night and now her fire eyes do too. He waited for her, stretching out his little chubby arms to take her hand when she was carried up into the clouds high above.

After psychology, I drove straight to the field I left her. Hoping she would be leaning against that big old tree, maybe hanging out in the tire. All I found were pieces of glass from the whiskey bottle, shattered against its bark.
No sign of her, nor her red pick up truck.

Fear crawled into my blood. Afraid she finished the bottle and drove back to the dorms fully intoxicated and got lost, or even worse.

I called Elijah to ask if he saw her and demanded when he didn't, to call his teammate Calum if he heard anything from her or her own brother, knowing they live in the same fraternity. I started to drive through the streets when he called back to say they haven't heard or seen her since the party last Saturday in hopes I would find her, but nothing.

The air in my bedroom feels thick, suffocating and consuming me with guilt. Did she run away because of me? I fist my hair grunting out loud into the darkness. 

You're such a fucking asshole Luke!

*

Its Friday, three days since the last time I saw her. Three freaking days that anyone saw or heard from her. I went to her brother's fraternity after my last course and demanded her number. Cole got him real good I must admit. He advised me to stay away from her, to not waste my time on her because this is what she does. I don't understand why he isn't worried about her. Even if there is bad blood, she is still his little sister. He should look after her.

I called her countless times and each call got directed to her voicemail, putting me more on edge. I wish she would pick up and let me know where she is and that she is in one piece. Not lying dead in a ditch because of my insolence.

I flick the light off on my bedside table and enjoy the cold feeling from the sheets against my bare chest and feet, knowing they will be clinging on to me in a matter of hours.

At this point, I don't care if she did run away from me. I don't need to know. 

Just come back Dee.

*

I bang on Elijah's dorm door for the second time and again, no answer. Where the heck is he? I dig my phone out of my jacket and press his contact. Grumbling into the speaker when his voice comes through. "Where the fuck are you?"

"I'm with Dee in her dorm room." He says casually.

What the! "Which number." I bark into the speaker.

"Uh, B4" He answers hesitantly.

I hang up and pace through the corridors, reaching her door and barge in without knocking. I feel the rage running through my veins seeing them. Elijah is laying on her mattress with his legs draped over Dee's, who sits with her back against the wall casually tracing the tattoos on his knuckles, unimpressed with me barging in like she didn't disappear from the face of the planet for four fucking days.

Elijah stares at me like a deer into headlights, knowing he is at fault but refrains from moving. He must be very comfy lying on her bed with her caressing his skin. I'm sure he's telling her his pick up story.

The fucker has two crowns tattooed on his fingers. An king and queens crown but he placed a q under the king's crown and vice versa with the other. Telling the bullshit story that his mother is named Kailani and his father Quynn. Which is fucking retarded, because his mother's name is Lea and his father's Dallas. But somehow they all fall for it and think it's the most adorable thing ever.

"Where the fuck have you been!" I demand, my voice laced with anger.

She looks unfazed, tearing her eyes from his fingers to me. "Out." and that's all I get.

"Out?" Sarcasm lacing my voice, "What the heck does that mean Dee?! I have been searching for you. I have called you a trillion times and this is your explanation?!"

She shrugs, focusing back on Elijah's hands. Tracing another line up to the hem of his t-shirt. He's clearly enjoying her touch. I grab the chair from her desk and take a seat, folding my arms over my chest and locking eyes with Elijah. 

I'm fuming inside. She had me thinking I was the cause she left. Guess not. Maybe I should have had listened to her brother.

Elijah's gaze shifts between me and her and back to me, asking, "Did something happen between the two of you?"

She smiles an evil smile."Why? Would that make you jealous Elijah?" Sliding her hand over his upper leg.

What is she playing at?

"Heck yeah!" He chuckles." I saw you first."

"Elijah, Elijah." She sighs, smiling widely at him. "Nothing happened between Luke and me. I'm not his type, remember? What was it again Luke?" She says positioning herself to pierce her eyes into mine." Oh yes, I wasn't pretty and sure as hell not funny enough. Right, Luke? But I'm also not an easy girl Elijah." Shifting her body and gaze back to my suppose to be best friend. "If you want to get laid, I advise you to search for another victim."

"Don't be like that Dee." He pouts, pulling her in a hug and smothering her cheek with kisses.

She lets him do it while smiling at me. My blood pressure rises to his max. Infuriated, my hands turned into first, ready to punch the crap out of him for kissing what is mine and to show her that I'm the one owning this game. That it's me who makes the calls, not her.

A loud bang on the door snaps all of us out what we're doing or were planning to do. I'm surprised to see the green-haired girl named Roxy walk in and it seems I'm not the only one who is surprised. Dee glares at her with disdain and scowls when Roxy claimes my lap as a seat, flinging her arm around my shoulder, purring, "Hi babe." Into my ear.

I see Roxy smile and crook one of her eyebrows at Dee, speaking with arrogance, "I thought you weren't interested."

She sits up straight and pushes Elijah's leg off hers, turning her eyes into slits. "I'm not."

"Doesn't look like it though. It's probably that special gift that you have that got them all wrapped around your finger."

Her face contracts and her body stiffens with Roxy's comment.

"Ava told us all about your shady past."

"Roxy, Not now!" Elijah growls. Warning her through his gritted teeth.

"Don't be such a killjoy Elijah. We girls could learn from her." He gives her a cold stare, but she isn't impressed with it, fixating her stare back on Dee. "Ava told us that you have a clean score, not once failed to get what you aimed for. That's quite impressive. Tell me, how does it work, what's your secret?"

There wasn't much left of Roxy if she could kill with her eyes blazing with anger, she hisses, "My past isn't any of your fucking business."

"Yeez, girl. Don't get your panties in a twist. I was just wondering, "She huff's, stroking my neck with her fingers. "Guess I have to stick with you, babe."

"I guess," Answering Roxy with a devilish grin. Dee's eyes follow my hand squeezing Roxy's ass. I push her towards me and cup her cheek with the other, leaning in to let our lips touch. She rolls her eyes when Roxy moans and deepens the kiss, but keeps her harsh stare on me without blinking.

"Oh my God!" A highly pitched voice cries out, pulling us out our tongue wrestle. "I'm sorry Dee, I'll go."

"No!" Dee literally orders to the girl interrupting us." You can stay, Patience. They were just about to leave." Squinting her eyes at me.

The blonde girl standing in the doorway seems lost and rooted to the spot until Dee rises and pulls her inside. She points at my newfound enemy and says, "Elijah, this is my roommate, Patience. Patience, this my friend Elijah."

The blond girl stretches out her trembling hand and the fucker gives her a swoon-worthy smile, making her blush. Her roommate turns to Roxy and me, looking between us and Dee for another introduction and my stomach clenches with her next words. "Don't bother introducing yourself to them. They are nothing to me and you won't be seeing them again in this room."

The cheeks of the blond girl turn a deeper shade of red and Roxy mutters bitch under her breath which isn't muffled enough.

"Guess what Roxy? This bitch is telling you to get the fuck out of her dorm!"

"I'm glad to!" She spits in Dee's face and laces her fingers with mine, pulling me from the chair, "Come, babe. Let's go to my room and have some fun."

The muscles in her jaw twitch and her knuckles turned into a pale color, clenching them hard.

"Elijah?!" Roxy exclaims like it's normal that he will follow us too.

He clears his throat and rises from the bed. "I'll better go too." She nods and I turn my gaze away when she hugs him. She freaking hugs him. She wouldn't be doing that if she knew how many women have been between those arms.

My head snaps back at his next question. "Are you coming tonight? I know you said parties and you really don't go together, but I would like you to come."

Her eyes lock with mine and I gulp at their intensity and the smile tugging on her lips. "I'll be there. I think it's gonna be a lot of fun."
  

She is dangerous.
Because she listens,
thinks
and observes.