too proud to beg
putting dreams to rest
all our wishes witnessed
between birth and decay

I might try to save
a few souls outta their mind
to be a kind stranger
casting one line
but this time
I feel like a fisher
hoping to reel
in compassions glow
cuz I know
this bread's not feeding anyone

in the solitude of misery
I ain't got no patron
for my pain
and if I reach out
for a light
I find lanterns nearby

so I reach out
for as long as I can
keep on reaching out
until feeling leaves my hand
knowing my loss
creates a demand
too great
for my friends to abate
but my queer stirrings
find no shade

and so I sweat
and grit my teeth
and buy worry with my sleep
my hand close and closed
though need
shakes me dry past reason
I can only try

for so long

when I'm gone
I hope there's no goodbyes
my wrongs
don't deserve their cries
all these nights alone
burn
but survive the sunrise