you were my first
i was your pest
in jest you were a Goddess

too many times over
too many lines i
struggled to find a
reason your sublime
declaration spake
true to my heart's want

For in those earliest days, drunk on Lethe's haze, your quavering
beauty required an explanation that consistently eluded me.
Of what possible reason could some lonely boy feel drawn
to a declaration of divine providence requiring regal song?
Denied lust was made rust from the tears I could not shed
and for every palpitation you gripped startled within your chest
mine pained me thrice more before your celestial bridge
gave me passage to Abendell's lovely delusions.

That mirth most rare that did gleam between your skin so fair
gave more reason than the seasons of my perverse wants left to simmer.
Blinded in the radiance of your smile, I did long to share
in this joke that your presence was made permanent by ambrosia.
So I bowed serene before my transgressions ever gave your
seneschal cause to lay out misgivings for my odd departure under dim stars.
Yet my worship granted no title of service, no list of tasks to please thee.
Thus my confusion gave no conclusion to a hidden masochist's fantasy.

I understood not what feeling that crown of femininity had wrought
upon the head of a woman repressed by dread that her heart's wants
would surely have brought ostracizing consequences to a lady lacking station.
Your destiny was headed for damnation and so what God given right
did your life's night foretell but to be shamed in public and sent to divine gaol.
Under such circumstances, you had to decide your blood was colored evil.

And no,
I know not what sequel
your glorious design
made of the love
you contrived.

Yet,
I felt your jest
was always more
than a trifling
thing

thrown about
while we
wandered around
your lovely
aura.

But the feelings of empaths don't last beyond the song of a trauma stricken traveler.
Yet to move on would be wrong whilst spinning the narrative of my Spring's surrender.
You were a God because that was wrong and that too added credence to your wicked splendor.
I sensed a fog covering skeletons forgot in that tower ivory and its cerebral equivalent.
Know that it came to me in seconds to bow and worship at your feet because my diligence
was more than kink hidden, but a longing to show you that your divergence was brilliant.
Though you made no effort to explain your presence as both godly and psychopathy,
I enjoyed the game of service not half as much as the promise of getting to know thee.

And here at last we come to the begin,
to explain a title more nobble than origin.
For your inspiration laid guarded like lust
and all my pining never garnered trust.

So like Zeus you did conceive a Goddess:
a glorious strigine conqueror known for olives,
the wisest and strongest of all on Olympus.
No other divine being ever seemed equivalent.

Made evil by secrets,
and kept firm in thy head.
You were Her birth
and Her being
and the prison she shed.
The Goddess of all things-
Malthena,
My Darkness.